A head for business

A Colombian man was detained at Barcelona’s international airport after half a kilo of cocaine was found hidden under an over-sized toupee, Spanish police said this week.

Arriving on a flight from Bogota, the man attracted police attention because he looked nervous and had a disproportionately large hairpiece under his hat. cocaine under wig They found a package stuck to his head with about 30,000 euros worth of cocaine.

“There is no limit to the inventiveness of drug traffickers trying to mock controls,” said the police statement.

The statement enclosed a photo of a middle-aged man – apparently still wearing the toupee though with his eyes blocked in the image – but gave no more details of his identity.

A man with a head for business indeed, sadly it didn’t extend to the grey matter within. But you have to admire his sheer brass cojones.

View from a Rhino House: midnight munchies

In Bonita Springs, Florida last week there was a break-in at Doc’s Beach House (a bar & restaurant), according to Lee County sheriff spokesman Tony Schall.

Captured for posterity, & internet fame, the three intruders were recorded on the security video roaming around the kitchen in their underwear before taking a case of hamburgers & some red bell peppers from the refrigerator – before stripping-off their underwear & wandering around the kitchen nude for a while longer & leaving.

Although photos from the security camera have been posted on the Internet, only two tips have come in, Schall said, with no one apparently recognizing the faces (or any other parts).

Schall said officers suspect the three might have been tourists.

Well if they arrest anyone the identity parade might be fun, I wonder if they will post that on the web.

Bell peppers, as naked as the day they were picked.

Just another day at the office #280

Pete's first outing as the getaway driver was a bit of a disaster. Even as a "newbie" he made a few basic mistakes, like using his own pick-up & wearing the same mask that he wore to last year's Police Hallowe'en Party. — Pete’s first outing as the getaway driver was a bit of a disaster. As a “newbie” he made a few basic mistakes, like using his own pick-up & wearing the same mask that he wore to last year’s Police Hallowe’en Party. The rest of the gang were not amused.

Tanks for the memory

In Seattle the police are hunting a man suspected of stealing the toilet cistern from a pubic restroom as workers at a Subway sandwich franchise prepared his family’s meal, it was reported yesterday.

The man & his family went to the Subway on Sunday evening, after placing an order, he entered the restroom & remained inside even after his wife knocked on the door, asking why he was taking so long. Eventually she & the kids left without him, Seattle police said in a statement.

When the man eventually emerged from the bathroom after a further 30 minutes, he hurriedly left Subway’s carrying a large plastic garbage bag, police said.

An employee who later entered the bathroom discovered the toilet cistern was missing.
Subway workers valued the stolen cistern at $550*, police said. Witnesses at the scene were able to provide police with a description of the man, who remains at large, police said.

This craze for take-out DIY is really going too far.

* Which is why they work at Subway & not for a plumber (although they may have been trained in cost management by NASA).

The war against crime

A dirty war in the making.... — A dirty war in the making….

Caring & sharing #186

Dear Agony Aunts

I have recently become engaged to a woman a little older than myself but with whom I have much in common & of whom I am very fond. She is suggesting that we marry as quickly as possible & that I should formally adopt her 4 children by her first husband. He is currently in custody for an armed raid on a security firm at which a large sum of cash was taken & which has not yet been recovered; & she is keen that we should marry before his trial starts, even though her divorce is not yet through.

The thing is that my Dad, who is an High Court judge, will go ballistic when he finds out – & that’s nothing to what my Mum will say! Do you think I should get married in secret & not tell them until after my exams or do you think I should wait until after my 16th birthday in August?

“Martin”

Dear “Martin”

We think that perhaps you are a little young to be contemplating so many changes & it might be better to spend a little more time worrying about your exams.

It is clear that there is much you can bring to a relationship with your “older woman” & her children, indeed it seems likely that you might even have something to offer her present husband. We think that perhaps you should arrange a meeting between her & your father so that they can clear the air (ideally after some sort of secret wedding ceremony). We’re sure that your father will be only too happy to offer her the hand of friendship & perhaps even extend that hand to her current spouse, in order to make sure that the rest of your teenage years are not blighted by unhappy family differences & arguments.

Good luck with your exams.

Aunts

Love can be no tougher.... — Love can be no tougher….

View from a Rhino House: crime & punishment

In the early hours of yesterday morning thieves broke into a prison in northern Italy & made off with a safe containing over €5.000, it was reported.

The theft occurred shortly after midnight when the robbers managed to avoid detection by sophisticated surveillance systems & broke into the governor’s office at the prison in Pavia, near Milan, the newspaper Corriere della Sera said.

The safe was removed whole from the wall & carried away. Police are investigating the incident.

It has been suggested that the criminals apparently detailed knowledge of the prison’s layout & security systems may mean that the robbery is an “inside job” & it is believed that there may be a strong criminal element amongst the inmates.

Rumors that Sr. Berlusconi will appear on one of his many TV stations to deny any involvement could not, as yet, be confirmed.