Tag: cruel

Caring & sharing #162

Dear Agony Aunts

My sister always spoils everything for me & this week I found her sleeping with my new boyfriend.

Do you think I should tell her about the genital herpes?

“Missy”


Dear “Missy”

It’s probably better that you do tell the little cow, & it will after all give you yet more in common. We also suggest that you might jointly decide on some sort of retaliatory action on the recipient of your joint affections.

We’ve emailed you separately a copy of our small pamphlet “Accidents around the home & how to engineer them” & would particularly draw your attention to Chapter 9 which covers casual infidelity, simple wiring mistakes & plumbing. Try offering him a shared-shower with both of you & stand back & watch the sparks fly.

It’s easy enough to find another ‘YY’ chromosome but sisters are more difficult to replace.

Aunts

Share the pain & click here to vote in the "Oh God, please make it stop" poll.
Share the pain & click here to vote in the “Oh God, please make it stop” poll.

View from a Rhino House: the dog days come to an end

In the US a Georgia animal shelter’s “Lucky Dog” adoption program promised offloading pet owners not to euthanize their dogs for a $100 fee, then killed them (the dogs, not the owners).

Charges against the shelter’s former director, Lowanda “Peanut” Kilby, include theft & racketeering, Rabun County District Attorney Brian Rickman told reporters yesterday.

Pet owners dumped their animals at the Boggs Mountain Humane Shelter for a variety of reasons, including the owners’ failing health, incompatibility with children & failure to blend-in with the new curtains (amongst other reasons), Rickman said.

Having been “guilted” into paying a $100 for a guarantee that the pets would not be killed, the now former-owners received emails & notes from the shelter saying that the pets had been adopted.

“In fact the pets were already dead,” the district attorney said.

The prosecution alleges that “Peanut” received money from the owners of 28 animals who were promised that their pets would not be euthanized. She is also charged with stealing more than $10,500 in shelter funds.

Kilby has turned herself into authorities & has been released on bail, said Rickman.

In an interview on a local TV station, Kilby denied the allegations.

“No kill means no kill,” she told the television station. When presented with the case of one “Lucky Dog” who was euthanized, Kilby said it was because the animal had a failing heart.

I don’t think it was the dog’s heart that was failing.

the acceptable photograph of dead dogs on the web.
The only acceptable photograph of dead dogs on the web.

View from a Rhino House: poor cow

In the US a Florida man was arrested on charges of harassing a “sea cow”, wildlife officials said yesterday, after he posted pictures on Facebook showing himself hugging a manatee calf.

The Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission was made aware of the photographs & arrested Ryan Waterman on a misdemeanor charge punishable by 6 months jail time & a $500 fine.

Waterman was released from the county jail on Monday on $2,500 bail; he told television reporters that he did not know it was illegal to touch a manatee.

The photos were taken last month in southeast Florida. One showed Waterman lifting the manatee calf out of the water while others showed his young daughters petting the manatee & sitting on the distressed animal.

Wildlife agents said that these actions will have caused severe stress to the young manatee.

“The calf appeared to be experiencing manatee cold-stress syndrome, a condition that can lead to death in extreme cases,” said Dr. Thomas Reinert, a biologist with the wildlife commission.

The large, slow-moving animals often gather in warm coastal waters & river estuaries during the winter.

Now if the NRA were to mandate weapons for mammals other than humans, I for one would sign-up tomorrow.

"Go on mom, let's go back & sit on his kids....."
“Come on mom, let’s go back & sit on his kids…..”