Adventures with wildlife #172

flying dogs

Dogs had been used for many years as gun dogs to fetch bird kills and as hunting dogs for hunting foxes, boar and even lions when a leading sportsman and geneticist posed the question, “Why don’t we try cross-breeding gun dogs with hunting dogs?” The initially impressive results weren’t sufficient to save the programme when a pack escaped and brought down two 747s and a resupply mission to the International Space Station.

War is hell #58

pla-rover

In order to cut costs and speed-up the process, the People’s Liberation Army arranged to have its “mine detecting” dogs trained in France. There was a degree of confusion in the translation of the original contract and although the returning dogs proved useless in combat situations the regular supply of truffles they dug-up was very welcome in the Officers’ Mess.

Barking mad

Jim was essentially a mean bastard, which explains why his plan to have his wife killed by a pack of killer dogs on their wedding day (as part of an insurance scam) came to nothing — Jim was essentially a cheap bastard, which explains why the plan to have his bride killed by a pack of killer dogs on their wedding day (as part of an insurance scam) came to nothing.

Like sheep

"OK, look I get it, you wan to round-up the sheep; these other bozos, they want to round-up the sheep. Me, I never really did get that whole "put the sheep in a pen" schtick; let the poor bastards have some fun, I say, now can we please get out of this place & get back downtown a.s. fukkin'. p." — “OK, look I get it, you want to round-up the sheep; these other bozos, they want to round-up the sheep. Me, I never really did get that whole “put the sheep in a pen” schtick; let the poor bastards run free, I say. Now can we please get out of this place & back to civilisation, before someone tries to eat me?”

Mans best friends….

"OK, so we're agreed. I'll distract them while you get behind & push them over the side. In return, we'll throw you the fresh liver back onboard." — “OK, so we’re agreed. I’ll distract them while you get behind & push them over the side. In return, I’ll throw you the fresh livers back onboard.”

Signage #157

Now if only dogs could read..... — Now if only dogs could read…..

Dogged

"Next time let's just find someone with opposable thumbs & buy the damned paddles." — “Next time let’s just find someone with opposable thumbs & buy the damned paddles.”

View from a Rhino House: the dog days come to an end

In the US a Georgia animal shelter’s “Lucky Dog” adoption program promised offloading pet owners not to euthanize their dogs for a $100 fee, then killed them (the dogs, not the owners).

Charges against the shelter’s former director, Lowanda “Peanut” Kilby, include theft & racketeering, Rabun County District Attorney Brian Rickman told reporters yesterday.

Pet owners dumped their animals at the Boggs Mountain Humane Shelter for a variety of reasons, including the owners’ failing health, incompatibility with children & failure to blend-in with the new curtains (amongst other reasons), Rickman said.

Having been “guilted” into paying a $100 for a guarantee that the pets would not be killed, the now former-owners received emails & notes from the shelter saying that the pets had been adopted.

“In fact the pets were already dead,” the district attorney said.

The prosecution alleges that “Peanut” received money from the owners of 28 animals who were promised that their pets would not be euthanized. She is also charged with stealing more than $10,500 in shelter funds.

Kilby has turned herself into authorities & has been released on bail, said Rickman.

In an interview on a local TV station, Kilby denied the allegations.

“No kill means no kill,” she told the television station. When presented with the case of one “Lucky Dog” who was euthanized, Kilby said it was because the animal had a failing heart.

I don’t think it was the dog’s heart that was failing.