View from a Rhino House: lonesome trails

In Boulder, Colorado a man riding a horse to his brother’s wedding over 900 kilometres away in Utah was arrested for drunken driving, animal cruelty & assorted other charges local police said, yesterday.

Patrick Schumacher was taken into custody late on Monday afternoon after reports that he had hit the horse in traffic, causing it to rear-up, & officers found him clearly the worse for wear, police spokesman Ryan Huff said.

Huff said Schumacher failed a field sobriety test & a search of his saddle bag turned up a small pistol & beer, while a small dog named Bufford was found in his backpack.

Schumacher was arrested on charges of animal cruelty, prohibited use of weapons & reckless endangerment, as well as drunken horseback riding (& yes, in Boulder, they do have a law that covers that).

When asked by officers why he hit the horse (called Dillon), Schumacher said that he was swatting a fly on its head, Huff said.

Dillon & Bufford were provided with accommodation overnight by the Humane Society of Boulder Valley while Schumacher’s overnight arrangements were a little less luxurious. The police kept the pistol as evidence.

After being released Schumacher rode off on the horse, with Bufford again in his backpack, telling officers that he was still heading for his brother’s wedding in Bryce, Utah, Huff said.

Schumacher told police that he’d lost his driver’s license, so he decided to make the trip to his brother’s wedding on horseback.

Just a guess, but if he & his brother are alike, he should arrive just in time for the divorce.

Damned flies....
Damned flies….

Grooming

The guests at the reception had noticed that Grgor was drunk (as usual) what they didn't notice was that 10 seconds after this picture was taken he passed-out with his head in the cake & the knife in his back. No charges were ever brought.
The guests at the reception had noticed that Grgor was drunk (as usual) what they didn’t notice was that 10 seconds after this picture was taken he passed-out with his head in the cake & the knife in his back. No charges were ever brought.

People with issues #136

Jenny was a popular girl who enjoyed a good night out, but she was always very choosey about who she close to hang with....
Jenny was a popular girl who enjoyed a good night out, but she was sometimes very choosey about who she chose to hang with….

Moments in automotive history #67

Fortunately the vehicle suffered no serious damage in this encounter....
Fortunately the vehicle suffered no serious damage in this encounter….

People with issues #126

Mary took a certain amount of perverse pride in her many & serious problems.
Mary took a certain amount of perverse pride in her many & serious problems.

People with issues #121

Grigor's wife shouted at him ever day when he came home drunk & told him she ashamed to see him him such a state. In a spirit of conciliation he therefore began to drink more heavily so he never actually made it home again.
Grigor’s had promised his late wife that he would not spend all his time drunk in the local bar after she had passed-on. A man of his word, he never managed to get back into the village again, after he got the still working out in the barn.

Flushed #33

The "Komodo dragon" model was often referred to in the bars where it was installed, as the "wtf....." urinal of choice for the patron who had drunk a little too freely.
The “Komodo dragon” model was often referred to in the bars where it was installed, as the “wtf…..” & was the urinal of choice for the patron who had drunk a little too freely.

People with issues #15

Seamus had promised his daughter that he would carry an umbrella, against the rain, & that he would stay well clear of the main roads on his walk home. He’d also promised to go easy on the booze, but as he reasoned, “two out of three isn’t bad.”