Moments in automotive history #162

golf mower

Volkswagen’s continued attempt to satisfy every part of the global market with their Golf/Rabbit model continued without pause until the setback they received when they trialed their “Light Trailer” variant. The turning circle made it unsuitable for all but the widest paved areas and, following a number of highway fatalities amongst the focus group responsible for “real world testing,” there were some serious questions raised about its lack of rear brakes and general road worthiness.

Alternative facts

Lazy Susan from Terri Timely on Vimeo.

At least it wasn’t claimed (yet) by a white guy with bad hair and a very long tie.

Sorted #67

bike-heater

Billy’s solution to the problem of the cold weather he had to endure on his ride to work was ingenious, although the inclusion of a boiler, battery and fuel and water tanks on a separate trailer, did rather render the whole system a little too unwieldy for everyday use.

Sorted #66

Pete's new invetion proved a brilliant success during the BBQ. It was only when he came to use to eat that saw a couple of draw-backs in the basic design & realised that he had created the world's most annoying implement. — Pete’s new invention proved a brilliant success during the cooking. It was only when he came to use it to eat that he saw a couple of draw-backs in the basic design & realised that he had created the world’s most annoying implement.

Sorted #59

At last someone has come-up with a way to eat noodles without sharing them with your neighbours shirt..... — At last someone has come-up with a way to eat noodles without sharing them with your neighbours shirt…..

Sorted #58

Julian finally finished the machine that was going to take hime safely around the world on 19th September 1952. At a quarter before three in the afternoon he turned onto the newly completed section of the New Jersey Turnpike...... & was never seen again — Julian finally finished the machine that was going to take hime safely around the world on 19th September 1952. At a quarter before three in the afternoon he turned onto the newly completed section of the New Jersey Turnpike to head home & pack…… & was never seen again

Sorted #55

Bill thought he was on to a winner with his new gadget; right up to the moment when Jenny found out about his little fling with her sister & used it to perform an informal circumcision (& he was lucky at that).

Sorted #53

Jack had always had a sort of a "thing" about finger food, until one night he & the guys rented-out a copy of "Nightmare on Elm Street" - after that he never looked back. — Jack had always had a sort of a “thing” about finger food, until one night he & the guys rented-out a copy of “Nightmare on Elm Street” – after that he never looked back.

Sorted #49

Wherever you look, you can see solutions just crying-out to find a problem.

View from a Rhino House: How to keep those New Year’s resolutions

From Dean Kamen, the man who gave you the Segway, a new device designed to remove undigested food & drink from your stomach to help you lose weight.

The “technique” is known as Aspiration Therapy, & Kamen developed it in collaboration with a team from US firm Aspire Bariatrics.

The system is fairly simple, but disgusting. It involves inserting a specially designed tube into your stomach, which is then connected to a small valve, that is surgically implanted directly into your abdominal wall, allowing access to & from an unsuspecting outside world.

Apparently this surgical procedure is similar the insertion of a “percutaneous endoscopic gastronomy tube” (sic), which is done for long-term feeding of patients who can’t eat normally, only in this case the tube works in reverse.

With the tube installed, whenever you have “overindulged,” you simply attach a small, portable suction device & pump away some of your stomach’s contents. Food & drink are sucked out of your stomach allowing you to continue with your (excessive) lifestyle without serious delay for shitting or hangovers! The process takes about 5 to 10 minutes, allowing you to remove about 30% of the food/acohol you’ve consumed before it’s been digested.

No digestion means no calories & only limited alcohol has been absorbed by your body, so you won’t gain weight. In fact, it will be as if you never ate or drank in the first place & Aspire is quick to point out that this new technique has significant advantages over sticking your fingers down your (or anybody else’s) throat.

OK so those of us who thought that the Segway was crazy a whole new world just vomited itself (or whatever) into our lives. Nice.