Dear Agony Aunts

I have decided that I can no longer bear to live with a husband who has made my life a misery for over 60 years. The final straw came when he drank too much at our diamond wedding anniversary, threw-up over our youngest great-grandson & passed-out in the anniversary cake.

What can I do & where can I turn for help?

“Gran”

Dear “Gran”

60 years? You have left it a bit late to start life anew but, as the old saying goes, “better late than never.” We’d suggest that it is time to let someone else take the strain of supporting your odious husband – pall-bearers come instantly to mind – so perhaps it’s time to let him begin that last, long journey; leaving you to enjoy a last few years of well-earned pleasure.

An accident with medication, staircases or matches always seems to garner the sympathy of all involved without exciting the undue attention of the Coroner & we’ve sent you an e-mail copy of our small pamphlet “Accidents in the home & how to engineer them” which offers many helpful tips & practical suggestions.

Sorted!

Aunts