Best thing I’ve seen all day, genuinely smiling with the biggest grin. I don’t feel like a MAN after reading this.

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

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Also the best way to never lose your luggage at the airport.

“I’ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggers, who’ll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your ass.”

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Balloons are so weird.

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I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

It’s also called the Economic Law of F*** You, essentially.

It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop.~ Confucius

Hey! bro, I got some culture for ya.

Best Military quote of the year

“When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional, and now it’s legal. I’m getting out before it’s mandatory.” ~ Sgt. Harry Berres, USMC

How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans.

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