To be fair, it says he went back swimming later and the octopus found him and beat his ass. Honestly, it sounds par for the course of what we can expect out of an Australian octopus. Octopi live only for a decade, now that could make any sentient being grumpy.

A man has been whipped by what he described as the “angriest octopus” while swimming on holiday at a Western Australian beach.

In a video that has gone viral, the octopus can be seen in shallow waters lashing out at geologist Lance Karlson.

The creature came after him again later and struck him on the arm, before whipping his neck and upper back.

The tentacles left stinging red welts on his skin, which Mr Karlson said only eased after he poured cola over them.

The former lifeguard told Australian news outlet 7News that his preferred treatment for sea animal stings is vinegar, but he did not have any on him at the time.

However, he said he knew anything acidic might help, and decided to try using cola. “Turns out it works.”

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Your fang my kin. My beak your head.

Some people are just too stubborn to learn how to cook for themselves.

RANDOM4

“Ladies and Gentlemen – you probably were expecting me to give you a speech. But I am no good at public speaking. So you’ll be pleased to hear that I am going to tell you a story instead. What’s more, it’s a true story…no, it really is”

This needs to be considered seriously. Rarely do mesmerizing ads set in space, about a spoon alien, make you go woah!

That is a mighty haul! But boy, I did not see that coming, did you?

Anthea Page has the best curves ever

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NSFW images inside

One Man Wolf Pack

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