A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

I’m no expert when it comes to politics and I tend to just ignore whatever new saga appears to be playing out in our political sphere. Added to this I have also not been keeping up to date with the latest news bulletins so I may be a little late with this so just bear with me please.

It seems that our Minister of Finance has, in my absence, snuck in and provided us with his budget and in that it appears that provision has been made for the furtherance and creation of employment opportunities in the amount of R9bn. When I read this I thought to myself that this strangely feels like deja vu. Where have I seen or heard this before? I’m almost sure this is in almost every budget or every statement attributed to our leaders.

My question is how will this money be used to create jobs? Have they explained this to us? Have they at least stated that there is a method that they will be following to do so? Will they be providing us with a report detailing exaclty how the money has been used? In my humble, and yes it might be somewhat uninformed, opinion this seems like just another opportunity for our leaders to replace whatever has been removed from their coffers.

With that said I hope that they do succeed with the job creation because our youth really deserve a chance to establish themselves in life and some of them have so many responsibilities…way more than they should have at their age! I’ve seen how hard is to find jobs and I’ve had the opportunity to study and obtain a degree and currently my career is what I will make of it. There are so many out there who don’t have that opportunity and when I look at places, specifically places like my hometown in the Eastern Cape, I can see how many people become dispondent and lose all hope as it just doesn’t seem as if the government cares about them.

Maybe its the fact that I’ve been very fortunate that I tend to ignore political disputes but with that said, if the government gets the ball rolling its up to our youth to take charge and make to most of it. Ultimately its your responsibility to use whatever means there is to further yourselves and your families and as such make a positive contribution to our country.

Well I don’t know if any this made sense lol.

Enjoy

TRJ

Good morning boys and girls

Hope you’re all still doing well. I’ve been away for the last couple of days preparing for my exams, which I wrote on Tuesday and Wednesday, and lived in my own little world totally oblivious to anything around me…apart from chips and chocolates. Yes I chow big time when I study, maybe its some sort of encouragement to actually hit the books, I don’t know but it helps.

The exams were extremely difficult! I prepared well but when the papers were handed out on the first morning I nearly had a heart attack! Omw they are insane, asking you to do things that would take you hours to do in practice but now you only have about 10minutes to do it. I really don’t know what to expect but at least its over for now.

I need a break, no actually I need a party where I can go crazy…just to get rid of the uneasy feeling the exams left. Think a night out in town would be perfect…I’ll make some calls tonight and arrange for the weekend 😉

For now its just work work work.

Cheers

TRJ

LOL boys will be boys!

Eish what a morning!

I was still so happy last night, thinking that today is Friday and even though I have to study its at least weekend and I can relax a bit tonight.

The moment I woke up I just felt really irritated. I have no idea why though…even ironing my shirt had me shouting at the iron. I just knew that it wasn’t going to be a good morning. How right I was!!

When I got to the office I found a file on my desk with a note. Client arrested and I have to appear at Wynberg Magistrate Court…Oh the joys of being a article clerk!! The one place you don’t want to go is Wynberg Court! That place serves the whole district here which includes places like Steenberg, Lavender Hill and Hanover Park. So you can just imagine how busy it is there. What made is worse is the lovely morning we’ve had…would’ve been so nice to just sit in the office staring at the lovely view. But oh no, I had to go to this freakin bazaar! With that said the clerks there are really helpful though.

Well I hope the rest of the day turns out better!

Here’s a irish joke for you guys…well more for me, just to up my mood!

Cheers

TRJ

Thirsty Irish

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer.

One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ‘ Beer’ .

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs..

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ‘something bad’ occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’. In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’.

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this ‘ Beer’ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up RUGBY CLUB in the phone book.

Edit

PS. Our next meeting will be at Newlands Rugby Stadium on the 26th of February 2011 at 19h00. All new members to bring a sample of the said drug for testing…we prefer pack containing six bottles but should you have more in your possession its important to get it to us for safekeeping

Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya.”
“Of course you can come in. You’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?”
“That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery.”
“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me…”
“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.”
Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?”
“It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned.”
“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?”
“Well, no Brenda, no.”
“No?”
“Fact is, he got out three times to pee.”

Somewhere in America this week the following conversation is taking place:

Dad – Son, come in here, we need to talk.
Son – What’s up, Dad?

D- There’s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?

S- I don’t believe, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that
I can say, truthfully, and that I scratched the car.

D- Well, it wasn’t there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no
one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?

S- Well, as I’ve said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car.
While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.

D- But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the
mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out
to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I’ll ask you, yes or no, did
you scratch the car?

S- Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you
see, I understood you to mean did “I” scratch the car. I stand by my earlier
statement, that I did not scratch the car.

D- Are you trying to tell me you didn’t drive the car into the mailbox?

S- Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I
mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the
mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.

D- So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?

S- No sir, that’s not my statement. I’ll refer you back to my original
statement that I did not scratch the car.

D- But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did get scratched as a result
of this contact?

S- Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.

D- So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?

S- No. No, that’s not correct. Your question was “Did I scratch the car?”.
From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I
did not scratch the car… the mailbox did… I was merely present when the
scratching occurred. So my answer of No” when you asked “Did I scratch the car”
was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.

D- Son, you are such a slick talker you’re either gonna wind up as a lawyer or
President….

NIE SO HAASTIG NIE!

😦

Sipho apply vir job:

“Ek soek werk, ek wil hard werk, ek soek min geld, ek strike nie, en ek gaan ôk nie elke maand na my ouma se funeral.”

Koos antwoord:

“‘n Goeie pos vir jou, ± R50,000.00 per maand, 2 trips per jaar oorsee, 13de tjek en ‘n 4 x 4 D/Cab.”

Sipho:

“Jy lieg vir my!”

Koos:

“Ja, maar jy’t eerste begin k@k praat.”