Month: August 2012

Clogged Tubes

The internet is slow tonight
Which makes it hard for me to write
In such a way my words are read
Beyond the table by my bed,
Not that that’s important, since,
Like me, most folks are on the fence
(At best) concerning whether they
Can download what I wrote today,
But even so, I find it galling
That the time I’ve wasted stalling,
Conjuring elaborate
Excuses for not writing yet,
Might well have been spent eat– er, loving,
Knowing I could write while shoving
Bytes up through the Stevens Tubes
To where the internet is. Rubes
Who aren’t as technically inclined
As I don’t get it; they don’t mind
The wait, ’cause “that’s just how it is,”
But me? I’m in the cyber biz
So when the system fails for me
I feel betrayed. I ought to be
The one the wi-fi caters to!
I’m not a noob (“newbie,” to you)
Who has to sit and take it when
The web goes– Hey, don’t plug that in!
You’ll break it! Let the expert– Oh,
It’s working now?
Good.
You may go.

Denial

Not the case.
You’re way off base.
It isn’t true,
I’m telling you.
Don’t pretend
That summer’s end
Approaches. Don’t.
It can’t. It won’t.
Go back to school?
Like fun! The rule
Is, Summer stays
‘Til Labor Day’s
Been celebrated.
So, we wait. Did
Something change
To rearrange
The schedule? No?
Then, you may go,
But summer stays!
(For six more days.)

Dead Tired

Oversleeping’s not a crime.
In fact, I must admit that I’m
An advocate of sleeping late:
If dreams are streaming, work can wait.
Ostensibly, the reason for
My sloth is sleep: I need some more.
I wonder, though, if it’s because
I crave that lateful wakeful buzz,
The jolt that races through my veins
To galvanize my limbs and brains
The way that Dr. Frankenstein
Would do when he’d had too much wine
And got the urge to play a prank
On Igor. (Yes, the Doctor drank!
Why else would it occur to him
To build a bro from bits of Jim,
The late Great Nate, Expired Jay,
And other dudes who’d passed away?
That’s not what we call “sober” thinking.
That’s what comes of too much drinking
When you ought to be in bed:
“Let’s reeninanimate Dead Fred!
We’ll use my uncle’s castle lair–
My cousin stashed a bottle there!”)

…I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten what
My point was when I started, but
It probably was much less frightening
Than creating life with lightning
Wired to cadavers’ necks…
Maybe it’s to do with sex?
I don’t know why my mind would go
From sex to making monsters, though.
I must be tired. If you please,
I think I’ll snag some extra Z’s.

Dancing Gene

The Romans, with their number-spelly
System, would say C’s for Kelly
(Gene) who, August 23rd,
Was born in 1912. I’ve heard
A lot of folks declare Astaire
The better dancer, which is fair,
But it’s comparing dancing fruit–
The apple’s spats to citrus’ suit.
Where Fred Astaire was debonair
And glided (glid?) as if on air,
Gene Kelly had a gymnast’s grace
And leapt and slid about the place.
My Desert Island DVD
Collection — electricity
And all the gear on which to play
The discs were also cast away
In this scenario — includes
The tale of those two dancing dudes
(O’Connor, D., and Kelly, G.,
And Princess Leia’s mom makes three)
Who, when the movies switched to sound
From silence, somehow stuck around
By– what? “The Artist?” No, it’s plain
I’m talking “Singin’ In The Rain!”
Well, anyway, a hundred years
Have passed since first the nurses’ cheers
And doctors’ hollers shook the wards
For Gene’s debut upon the boards:
The second he escaped from mom
He shed the cord with great aplomb
And shuffled (baby feet don’t tap)
Across the room to Daddy’s lap
Where, spinning with balletic grace,
He spit up in his papa’s face,
The greatest entrance ever seen!
Happy Birthday, Dancing Gene.

25 To Life

A – An Anniversary!
B – Boy, this is hard.
C – Can I start over, please?
D – That’s for Discard.
E – Excitement Everywhere!
F – Fine Family Fun!
G – Good Golly, Galbreaith clan
H – Have a Happy one!
I – If you’re Italian, It’s
J – Joyeux anniv— No,
K – Kidding! That’s français, n’est-ce pas?
L – Learning as we go…
M – Marriage is a lot like that:
N – Never Nothing New.
O – Only One in three survive
P – Past ten years. It’s true!
Q – Quite Quixotic, then, to try
R – Racing up the aisle
S – Since Statistics Say you Seek
T – Trouble, Tears, and Trial.
U – Upsetting? Sure, but some
V – Vanquish o’er the odds
W – With Wedded bliss:
X – Xanadu, b’gods!
Y – Yes! You two have made it!
My sister and her beau
Are silver-plated celebrants!
(Is there a Z word? No.*)

*While I admit that “Zounds” would fit,
Will I deploy it? Nyet,
‘Cause Z is letter 26;
They haven’t earned it yet!