Month: December 2015

Office Party

I don’t like to be Not Present
In my head. It’s neither pleasant
Nor relief to leave behind
The voices in my noisy mind.
Someone needs to supervise
The day-to-day behind my eyes
Or who’s to say what thoughts I’d think?
That said, yes, please, I’d like a drink!

Irresolution

My cat and I aren’t locked into
This resolution trap that you
And all too many focus on.
So what if twelve more months have gone
The way of all things (“dusty death’s”
The phrase that springs to mind)? Your breath’s
As pungent as it was before.
To increment a number or
To change the photograph atop
Your calendar won’t make it stop
Offending folk, and if my cat
And I support your goals, will that
Empower you to change your ways?
The new year comes, the old you stays.
My cat and I will still be here
Exactly as we are next year,
No better and no worse than we
Are right this moment. Wait and see.
If self-improvement does occur
Despite our lassitude, be sure
That we are not the ones to blame:
We really tried to stay the same.
No resolutions have we sworn
And those who swear them earn our scorn
And enmity. When this year ends,
If you’re still you, we’ll still be friends.
The status of my cat–and mine–
Will still be quo, and that’s just fine.

Holiday Letter 2015

Hey, you made it! Please, come in!
Take off your coats! How long’s it been?
A year? No, really? Wow. That long?
We must be doing something wrong
If we don’t make a point of being
Sociable with those worth seeing,
In which glitzy company
You all belong much more than we.

Gesundheit! Do you need lysergic–
Er, ascorbic— What? Allergic
To the cat? No wonder July
(As in “Andrews”) seems unduly
Drawn to you. It’s like they sense
You’re running low on histamints
And rush to fill the yawning void.
Or, cats enjoy when we’re annoyed.

Iain, can you fetch a tissue,
Please? Why, yes, our eldest issue
Made it for the holiday!
He’s storyboarding in L.A.
At BixPix, where he’s working on
Their Emmy-winning Amazon
Show, Tumbleleaf. If you’ve got Prime
And little kids, it’s worth your time.

He’s also part of Mirth Machine,
Whose YouTube stuff you may have seen?
Yes, he’s the “Uncle Iain” of
The online show we’ve come to love.
If you’re a fan of girlish screams
And chocolate sauce, expect your dreams
To come alive with every show!
(They’ve just gone on hiatus, though.)

We’re also happy to report
He tried the Collins family sport,
Triathlon, this past September.
Somewhere deep inside, the ember
Of a three-sport athlete burns
In Iain’s chest; before he learns
How to extinguish it, we hope
To shove him down that sweaty slope.

Siri, did you see who’s here?
Siri’s in her final year
Of college at DePaul, where she
Directs and does photography.
‘Cause college isn’t tough enough, her
Double major makes it rougher.
That Type-A personality
She clearly didn’t get from me.

And so, of course, she finds a way
To exercise ‘most every day
(Assuming good intentions count).
She must have done the right amount
To finish a half-marathon
Because she did just that. Right on!
She even let me share the fun–
A very hot thirteen point one.

Then, this autumn, she appeared
Onstage as crowds of children cheered
Her acting and her violin
In Esperanza Rising. When
She wasn’t in the spotlight, she
Helped run the show as its A.D.
(Assistant Director, that is).
She rocks at that performing biz.

I could laud the kids forever,
They’re so talented and clever,
Like their mother. What? I’m sorry,
Yes, of course she is! Oh, Kari,
Look who’s here! When they arrived.
I cornered them, but they’ve survived.
I didn’t even get to tell
Them Iain ran a half as well!

Kari’s still a teacher’s aide
For Salem-Keizer, getting paid
For tying shoes and wiping noses,
So she says, which I suppose is
True, but all her years of teaching
Means there’s lots of kids she’s reaching.
She’s amazing with the tykes!
(But it’s the part-time work she likes.)

I still service information
Down at DOJ. Elation
May not strike me every day,
But mostly I like work okay.
Eight or ten more years until
Retirement. I can. I will!
‘Till then, I’ll write and swim and run
Before and after work, for fun.

Hopefully, your year has been
More likely to have raised a grin
Than turned your smile upside-down–
There’s been a lot of that around,
But don’t let’s dwell on what we’ve seen.
Instead, a toast to oh-sixteen!
May Joy and Peace be all our lot!
(Unless Trump wins. Then, probably not.)

Melody At The Gate

The holiday’s upon us, gifts
Are piling up in festive drifts,
And fruitcake by the hundredweight
Is stacked beside the garden gate
To be bestowed upon the flocks
Of carolers that haunt these blocks
Each Christmas Eve, inflicting joy
In harmony on every boy
Or girl who answers when they ring,
Ensnaring them in Christmas sing
As spiders do unwary moths.
We’ve extra fruitcake…no? Your loths.