Not Quite William Congreve

Music soothes the savage beast
But not as much as malt with yeast

Follow The Leader

Lie and cheat
Get caught
Repeat

Doing Something About It

Dress a raindrop in a sweater
And voilà! It’s snow. Much better.

Freeway Etiquette

I get it: You’re done.
Maybe, though, pull over first
Before getting out?

Grandmamaless

The 24th of February
This year is a little scary
First one since 1913
When Helen Johnson hasn’t been
Exchanging oxygen for love
On Earth. (No word from up above.)

The Only Reasonable Response

When you can’t afford
To escape avocado,
Set your hair on fire.

Cashewndheit

A cashew’s a nut
Not a sneezonance, but
It’s an easy mistake
So I’ll cut you a break

Hello, I Must Be Going

Busy day! I’m on the run
From dawn to dusk, and not the fun
Aerobic kind, but meeting stuff
That’s still important, but it’s tough
When what you’re used to’s gone amiss.
No verse today. (Not even this.)

Panda Pants

I sewed a pair of panda pants.
I didn’t ask. I took a chance.
He asked me where I’d found the thread.
I’ve had it all along, I said.
The panda sighed. I don’t know why
I felt compelled to tell the lie.

In years to come I’ll think of him,
His trousers with the scarlet trim,
The inward-facing pleated rise,
And when he turns to go, surprise!
The whole rear end a painted frown
Suggesting Disappointed Clown.

I sewed the pants. I’m proud of it.
And yet…
Have I regret?
A bit.

Let Freedom Ring 20.23

Mass shootings happen all the time
Without a reason, but with rhyme:
For thoughts and prayers and guns, demand
Will spike, but changes won’t be planned.
Still, best be safe: Shore up your stock
Of weaponry in case the shock
Of this one causes such regret
That we’ll do what we haven’t yet,
By which I mean, a single thing…
I kid! We won’t. Let freedom ring.