Worst Responder

I’m cool under pressure.
When things go to hell
And all pear-shaped and sideways
I handle it well.
My secret is simple:
I’m good dousing fires
And that’s all that any
Disaster requires.
See, if you’re prepared
To extinguish a flame,
An arsonist’s touch
Makes all crises the same.

Life Imitates Art Mitigates Life

Watching the pictures on TV today
The Florida skies have turned Dorian gray
The Wildest weather since Andrew’s the boast
Of the dissolute lord of the south central coast

Agree To Disagree

The cat beneath my window yowls a loud, profound lament;
My neighbors’ yapping Yorkies share their spirited dissent.
Communication matters, but I wish they’d stipulate
That they’ve a difference of opinion and retire, ’cause it’s late.

Your Spelling May Vary

I have hiccoughs. They’re not cute.
A sudden, unsought lung reboot
That strikes mid-sentence might be funny
If it isn’t you, but, honey,
You are not immune. Suffice
To say, your day will come.
Be nice.

Solar Eating

Pizza dinner nearly spoiled:
Meant to bake it, but I broiled,
Which ignored the underdough
And left it cool. No worries, though,
I plopped it on the concrete porch
Out front just long enough to scorch
Some crisp into the spongy crust.
In Hot August Sun we trust.

Don’t Hold Supper

This is just to say
I have eaten
Forgive me
(And we’re out of plums)

Hero Of The Resistance

And when they ask me what I did
To pull us back from the abyss
I’ll say, While others ran and hid,
I mocked in verse! and show them this.

Toil And Trouble

Although I’m not watching the pot
Which would stop it from boiling, it’s not.
I’m keeping my seat
And just letting the heat
From the stove–
Oh, that’s what I forgot.

Counting Cow

I’m counting all the cows I’ve seen
Today, and if you’re turning green
With envy ’cause it sounds like fun,
Just wait until I count Cow 1!

The Project Manager’s Secret

To do it right might take too long;
There’s always time to do it wrong.