Analogy Answer

Portland, Oregon
Is to “war zone” as Trump is
To “stable genius.”

Shameless

It’s embarrassing
That I’m not embarrassed by
Writing bad haiku.

Somnanimal Control

Your classic insomniac counts leaping sheep
Because tallying mutton’s conducive to sleep,
But if math and anxiety go hand-in-glove
In your mind, you won’t find much assistance above.
Imagine instead that each sheep is a dog
And they’re leaping for sticks, and you’ll sleep like a log.

Creature Discomforts

My office mate’s a Maine Coon Cat.
I don’t know what to do with that.
I’ve worked remote so long by now
It seems that I’ve forgotten how
To deal with colleagues and their quirks:
The I-can’t-use-the-loo-at-works;
The non-Brits who call restrooms “loos”;
The ones who talk about the news
As if assuming we agree
On everything; who’ll scratch a flea
Onto my keyboard, then just stare;
Who startle when there’s no one there;
Who’re on the phone for non-work things
But glare at me when my phone rings
And makes me drop the feather toy
To answer it, like I’m to blame.
Since coming back, it’s not the same
And I don’t like it. Just my luck,
He’s napping on my lap. I’m stuck.

The Marmoset

We bought ourselves a marmoset.
It hasn’t learned to charm us yet.
We’re training it to make the bed;
It shrieks and poops and pees instead.
It breaks the dishes, eats the mail,
Its handwriting’s an epic fail,
It’s just a monkey-fighting pet!
The Zoot suit’s cute, but we regret
The day we bought a marmoset.

Spotty Reception

I bought a potted ocelot.
It wasn’t what I’d thunk.
A small, exotic plant? It’s not.
It’s like a cat, but drunk.

Schadenfreudephilia

Duolingo waits
Parce que ça me fait plaisir
To alarm the owl.

Genrefication

Dystopic fiction’s
Wasted when
It’s just the world
We’re living in.

By Now We Recognize The Villain Well

By now we recognize the villain well,
It walks, it preens, it raves by light of day.
Howl, howl to drown the tolling of the bell.

The wise call out the lies, and though they tell
The truth, the warning’s scorned and waved away.
By now we recognize the villain well.

The clever wield their wit until the smell
Of burning bridges suffocates their say.
Howl, howl to drown the tolling of the bell.

The righteous pave their path and praise the knell
That dampens thoughts that wither whilst they pray.
By now we recognize the villain well.

The poets, knowing Dylan’s villanelle
Exhorts them to incite, ignite, inveigh,
Howl, howl to drown the tolling of the bell.

And you, my friends, who hesitate to yell,
Whose prudence holds both fight and flight at bay,
By now we recognize the villain well:
Howl, howl to drown the tolling of the bell.

Change My Mind

I take in the news and try not to react
With dismay at the way
What were rights are attacked
As affronts to the country
In somebody’s view.
Disagreement is treasonous now?
That seems new.