sabar separuh dari iman..

pfftt...

ever since i came back russia after the winter holiday,

i started to realized the importance of having plan for the future..

i began saving the money for the sake of the future..

and started thinking on how can i make more money..

for now,i only have a plan..

saving rm1k each month to buy gold..

its a good plan for saving since the gold price always boost up..

the plan should have starts from this month..

however, its true,i can only make a plan,

but God is the one who will make it happen..

as for the plan, it has to be delayed..

last friday, my blackberry buat hal..

i couldnt charge it..

everytime i plugged in the charger,

it went to the loading phase..

but after half way there,it went down..

i thought the phone couldnt be used anymore,

so i told the phone

"aku kasi ko 3hari,tak dapat jugak,aku campak ko lam tong sampah"

so,i waited for 3days..
after thousands times charging and turning on n off,still had no improvement..
thus,i started to count the money in my saving..
last 2days,i went to bagrad,a low yat-like emporium to buy a new phone..
it is iphone 4s...
most of my friends disagreed with my decision sbb macam membazir je..
but for me,i like a device in which i can do everything with it..
i refused to have an ipad cuz it will be annoying to carry 2 devices at a time..
so iphone pon iphone la..

at 1st,its kinda cool..

talking to siri,facetime n everything..

if anyone wanna buy a new phone,id suggest iphone 4s to em..

yesterday,i was kinda stressed out..

cuz most of my friends' fon numbers hilang..

silap aku jugak tak pernah nk back up data from the blackberry..

so i tried to plug in the bb to my computer..

at 1st,it was detected but after few seconds,it went down again..

so i tried to use my friend's cable..

there it goes,selambe je bb tu bole on balik..

the problem was actually the cable..not the phone..

so basically i have 2 phones right now..

but the bb is only my 2nd phone..

pfffft..feeling like a boss...

but...

i bought the iphone sbb thought the bb da rosak..

n now bile dapat taw the bb still can be used..

i was like,crap,i wasted rm2k for a new phone..

dengan future plan sume da lari..

damn it..

moral value,think twice before making any decision..

sabar tu kan separuh dari iman..

it can also save ur money... 

kawen kawen kawen

yesterday,i was lepaking with radhi..

we were talking about the hot issue which is always being discussed among the moscow student..

kahwin while studying..

it was more like a debate..

i was opposing the idea while she was defending it..

up until yesterday,i was vehemently against it..

for me,the marriage is nonsense..

i thought that its not the right time to do so..

in sense of time,responsibility and financial..

yes,perhaps its a right decision to get married at such young age..

due to fact of current social problems and the young blood yg sgt mudah tertarik with haram stuffs..

"kenapa mesti cari benda haram kalau perkahwinan bole halalkan dat thing"..

im totally agree with that..

after discussing for more than 2hours,

i came to a conclusion that its not everybody suitable to get married during studying..

sabda Rasulullah,

"Wahai sekalian pemuda, barangsiapa daripada kalangan kamu yang berkemampuan untuk berkahwin, maka hendaklah ia berkahwin. Sesungguhnya ia (perkahwinan) boleh menundukkan pandangan dan menjaga kemaluan. Barangsiapa yang tidak mampu, maka hendaklah ia  berpuasa kerana ia (puasa itu) menjadi penawar baginya"

i think i can now understand the meaning of the sabda..

as for me..

im pretty sure that im 1 of those who need to fasting...

not that i couldnt afford it...

with all the business,future planning and some inner conflict,marriage is the best solution for me..

however,im having a problem which holding me back from making such decision..

maybe people with will see the problem as ego..

but for me,its my pride that i wanna protect..

for me,having a wife is a super big thing..

and being wadie,i couldnt stop myself from seeing the bigger picture..

children and what will happen in next 1years...

she said that when students get married,they need to understand the situation..

that both are still studying n having no income for themselves....

so about living cost,the money should comes out of both parties' pockets..

as for me,i dont want my wife to stow down even a penny for our living..

(unless kalau nk beli mekap ka rantai ka,itu tunggu aku jadi tokey balak)

cuz im strictly think that the responsibility to find the money is on me..

even with my ex,we discussed about our future in case we r getting married..

i told her my plan,she can go to work but the moment she carries the title of a mother,

she need to quit,so that she can take care of our children..

i learn this from my experiences and those of my friends'..

most of my friends who have working parents,they are ruined by the freedom and the lack of attention..

even me myself,since last 8years,im far from home,totally free to do whatsoever i wanna do..

without any worry that my family might find out..

and here i am,spoiled son..

comparing to other 11siblings of mine,they are good children,obedient to our parent and to the religion..

i dont want my future wadie junior to step on the footpath of mine..

cuz being me,its totally suck..

only with the supervising of at least 1 of the parent could stop it..

i think...

moreover, being a student,

my future still uncertain..

everything in life has 50-50 possibility...

who knows if i failed my study n going back to malaysia with empty hand..

with what should i give my family food??

yes being single,i might also face the same possibility..

but at least,i will only take myself down the pit..

who knows if i have a family at that moment,i might take em as a burden..

god-forbid thinking  that way..

last hols,i was at my family meeting,discussing about my big bro's wedding on this july..

i got to know that the hantaran is super tinggi..

and my dad,he wanna support the majlis terima menantu...

at that moment,the only thing i was thinking..

i dont want my family to support my marriage..

its me who so gatai nk kawen,so why should i burden my dad...

so balik moscow,i started to plan for my business and the future business..

and im pretty sure that by the time im grad in 2years,ill be ready financially to get married..

my target is 40k n insyalah i can do it..

but its not like im getting married in 2years..

the earliest plan is another 4years,after housemanship...

herm about the plan..

last week,i was planning to get married just after i grad,another 2years :D

but after discussing with bro bob,i knew that i need to rethink back..

"tak salah nk pikul tanggungjawab baru,tp biarlah tanggungjawab yg da terpikul tu terlaksana dulu,tanggungjawab atas mak ayah"

that time,i realized that i never take serious about the responsibility..

i never think twice to spend my money on my girl and friend..

but for my family,not even half the amount of the money i spent for non-family member was for them..

ever since i was born up until now,its uncountable how much have they spend for me..

so i think its better if i get a job 1st,have my own salary,n payback all their weary growing me up..

ni parent tak sempat kutip hasil,da kasi hasil kat new family member..

so,maybe 2years after being a doctor might be the best earliest time to get married..

people might think that im old fashioned..

but for me,i dont wanna let my future wife live in adversity..

at least,i wanna own a house and a car 1st b4 ever making such decision..

she is the most important person in my life,the 1 i love the most..

of course i want the best for her..

if im capable,i dont even wanna see a drop of sweat coming out of her skin..

so stop asking me when am i gonna get married please!!!!