The Factory

To Blogspot: Its not you, its me…

One of the first few pics w/ my new glasses.

Previous blogs from blogspot….see a trend here?????

I hate waiting….that’s it no great rant…I just fucking hate to wait. My nerves are shot to hell and every time I check my email I have a panic attack….WAITING SUCKS!!!!!!!!

2.15.2008

I Could Be Your Black Kate Moss Tonight

So I will admit that I completely believe that everything that happens was meant to and what happens to us was already pre-determined long before it ever happens. To prove that fact I would like to provide exhibit A: Kanye West, Glow in the Dark Tour tickets. Now you should know that I am never one to find out about concerts early enough to actually ever buy tickets and generally when I do its either way too late or happening somewhere to far away. Well imagine my surprise when I went on Perezhilton.com to gather my usual daily gossip and saw a post about Kanye’s concert. I of course raced to Ticketmaster to see if tickets were available and BOOM there were really awesome seats still available. So a click here and a click there and I found myself the proud owner of tickets to what will surely be one of the hottest tours of 08.

Why is this so cool you say? Well for several reasons…One, as previously mentioned I NEVER find out about concerts on time. I am always a week or two too late. Two, the concert was actually at the United Center which almost never happens for me, every time there is a really cool show that I want to see it’s ALWAYS at Allstate arena, which for a city kid that doesn’t drive is pretty impossible to get to. And third the biggest reason of all…I HAD THE MONEY TO GET THEM!!! Working where I work has put me in an almost constant state of brokeness, so to catch me in between paychecks WITH a hundred bucks to spare is a total rariety and i actually have a decent amount of money left over. And for me to actually have that money in the bank where I can use my debit card is even more rare.

And if none of these reasons are enough to prove that fate had some play in this…here is one last reason. I spent the entire day sleeping and I finally dragged my ass out of bed and decided that I would go on the internet, which I usually do later in the night. That is where I found out about the concert and by about six I had my tickets. About an hour ago I went back on Ticketmaster to see was the concert sold out yet and found out that tickets had just gone on sale TODAY at 5!!! Now tell me thats not a little freaky that I happen to find out about the concert and go looking for tickets mere minutes after they went on sale to the public. I mean whether or not you think this is awesome…I know IT FUCKING ROCKS!!! See ya at the show ;0)

2.13.2008

Let Me Upgrade You

So recently I was told by a guy (that has a thing for me) that I needed a man to upgrade me. Now for those of you in the dark about what exactly he meant let me explain. I am not in any way shape or form one of the clicky girls…clicky being my nickname for the girls in college that spent two hours doing their hair and make-up to come to class. I stand next to these women in my t-shirt and jeans in awe that anyone spent that much time getting ready. No I am not the chick in five inch heels walking through the club searching for a man to buy me a drink…no look down and you will see me the 5’5 girl in flip flops shuffling through the club in search of my own. I wore fake nails once in my life and hated them so much I never went back. I do my hair, but it always frizzes back up again and I don’t have the time, patience, or desire to put it back. I live my life in flip flops and Uggs. My make-up bag is only littered with mascara and lipgloss…well if you look hard you may find an eye-shadow clinking around in there. And you would never catch me spending more than 30 minutes getting ready for work or school.

Now to be honest I adore shopping more than anything and I could spend hours of time hanging out in Sephora. The perfume section of Macys is my best friend and I live for mani/peids. After all I am a girl. Its just that after years of attempting the overdone look and hearing more and more guys tell me that girls need to lay off the make-up. I decided to go the other way and be me. I enjoy my laid back style, it suits me. So to hear this guy tell me that I need to be upgraded because my style is boring…well I was shocked. See if what guys want (him in particular) is an “upgraded” girl, then why is he so attracted to me. Could it be my easy going personality? Well if its that then I have something to tell him because the personality directly correlates with the style. Its my choice to pull out the the rat race we women run that has given me an easy fun mentality.

I look up to girls like natalie portman that believe that would rather be smart than beautiful. I honestly would rather go to Yale than be a model. Would I like to have both? Of course, but if I had to choose I realize that beauty fades. And if you really are a pretty girl should you have to try so hard to convince everyone else. Its like if you have billions and you hustle to go to work every single day. You could go to work 24/7 and it may make you richer in the long run, but you don’t have to. Now back to natalie…on the red carpet she looks stunning, easily one of the best faces in Hollywood, but in her everyday life she looks utterly plain. She clomps around in converse and jeans with absolutly no make-up on. And she has some of the hottest guys around as boyfriends. Further proof that there is no need to try so hard. Its all about what you like. I realize some women enjoy their hair and make-up routine (my mom is one of them), but I don’t and maybe one day I will. For now though there will be no upgrading, does that mean I will be single for life? Maybe but I doubt it…I manage to attract a pretty decent stream of cuties all on my own. ;0)

Why V-day sucks.

Valentines day….Why do you exist?

Is it to make me feel bad for bieng single? Trust me you don’t need to because society takes care of that. How many times have I been on the wrong side of the question…so do you have a boyfriend…answer no to that fucker and you get the look of shame. Let me explain the look to you, while say…getting your nails done… you are having a nice little conversation and telling them about life in general. Someone eventually starts talking about weddings or their pathetic little boy problems and then there it is. Try as you might you can’t avoid the single girls dreaded question, you make an attempt to change the subject but it gets right back to men and then they say it. You contemplate for a minute just lying and giving them the answer they want, but then decide why lie and give them the dreaded no. Instantly their face drops and their eyes get wide, their mouth opens in shock and the scream out WHY??? You are so pretty. Whats wrong? And there is the big problem…any reasonably cute girl over the age of 18 should be linked to a guy. It’s the validation that you are worthy in our society. Why? What the hell does it prove?

Thats why Valentines day sucks…its the embodiment of the idea that men validate you. This is why girls will run and start dating any asshole that shows interest. Seriously girls look around at your friends men…they suck. If I see another one of my friends hooking up with a loser I am going to scream. No kidding I have three friends that have boyfriends that I think are great, the rest I either don’t know or just really don’t like. Trust me I get the appeal of being part of a WE or using the beloved my boyfriend before every thought or opinion. BUT that should’nt be the reasoning behind dating every loser that crosses your path. I’m not saying be frosty McBitchy, date Mr. Right nows in hopes the now drops off, but if he talks like an asshole and walks like an asshole then he is an asshole and drop his loser ass.

So tomorrow on the bullshit holiday dedicated to lies and false promises, to being happy for the sake of acceptance I have a plan. I will spend the extra few minutes getting ready for work to ensure that all look a little cuter than usual and I will go out with my head held high. When people ask what my plans are I will say not a fucking thing and smile. I will make sure to buy myself a little treat, because I don’t require a man to do that for me. And I will embrace the holiday because I can’t make it go away. So Valentines day (the single girls enemy) I intend to befriend you, I will spend the day celebrating my relationship with MYSELF.

Oh .mac I miss thee…

Here is some stuff from my previous blog attempt. I actually loved this thing, but a hundred bucks a year…yeah right Apple!

Sicky McGee

I have just spent the last three days sick as sick can be. I would like to go one record saying that children are festering, germ filled devils that are out to kill us all with their strange illnesses. On Monday I started feeling a little funky on the bus ride to work and by noon I was full on sick. Thanks to this illness I have spent the last three days without food or energy in pain and knocked out. So my message to all of you is if you happen to see one of these germ carrying devils in your direct area…RUN!!!! They possess germs unknown to the rest of us. BE AFRAID…BE VERY AFRAID…THEY SHALL COME FOR YOU AS WELL. And if one happens to live in your house… well I shall pray for you.

Mr. West

So it took me a little while to get around to writing about this, but I went to the Kanye concert a couple of weeks ago. First I just have to say WOW it was possibly the most amazing enjoyable thing ever. Lupe, N.E.R.D, and Rhianna were all awesome and I must say I throughly enjoyed every minute of it. With that said this post is not about the concert (there are enough gushing reviews out there), no this is about Mr. West himself. Lets state the facts shall we: He’s hot, He’s talented, He’s smart, He’s got that whole cool nerd thing going, He’s passionate, and He’s rich. WTF!!!!!!! Why is there only one of him? He is my dream guy because he is just the right mix of everything. The guy is totally cute but not so much that every chick is chasing him. He likes fashion but not in that metro, you’re so gay but you don’t even like boys kinda way. I mean its just cruel that he exists and I don’t get him. He’s amazingly perfect in a completely imperfect kind of way. Grrrrrrr! My message to the world is more Kanye and less 50 lets make guys like him more common and less of a rare sighting. PLEASE!

Gossip on the Downlow

I pride myself on my completely honesty that I am an Us Weekly readin, Perez Hilton lovin, TMZ watchin gossip whore, which is why I hate the assholes who pretend they are not. These are the people that get all excited when you start talking about Britney’s latest breakdown and know way to much about it, but then when you ask them something they pretend like they have no idea (usually said with a snide you’re so dumb look). You know they follow it because they know every detail, but they want to pretend they are way above it all and just happened to hear about it on CNN. Fricken liars! I met one of these fakers on Friday and she did not fool me one bit. Tell me how does one know all about J Lo’s babies and her amazing post pregnancy body, and also knows that they have the same names as twins from a popular kids show, but doesn’t know what said babies names are? BULL!!!!!! She knew…trust me she maybe even owns the magazines with family pictures, but she doesn’t want to admit she knows. Why? Because people think you’re an idiot if you follow the gossip. Oh they love to respond with a, “I just don’t have time for that stuff.” insinuating that you have no life because you do. Well I am here to say I have a life and I live for celeb gossip. It’s fun and wildly entertaining and for all the so-called intellectuals that think its useless information…I have saved many a dying conversation with my useless information. Plus its a great ice breaker. Think … its impersonal yet intriguing and its gossip but its about public figures so no one really gets hurt. All in all Celeb gossip is good. So stop looking your pointy Nietzsche reading nose down at me you boring asshole. I bet no one enjoys talking to you because all you ever have it talk about are books and the new crisis in Darfur (sidenote: which are good things to discuss but aren’t always appropriate). Get a damn Us Weekly while you’re in Borders and maybe you might have a better time at the next party!

Bubble

I tell you this little story not for sympathy because trust me I can handle myself, but to let you know what waits out there. In my time outside the bubble I have found that jobs are inhabited by miserable losers with no future that seek to crush all of the goodness and hope inside of you. They were too stupid to find a way to make the system work for them and have spent the last god knows how many years working for the system. Their corporate rules have left them dead and empty inside and have robbed them of all humanity. It is sad to see a human life wasted on shit that doesn’t matter in the long run, but it happens. Worst of all if you give in to it you could become one of them. I was raised by people that played the game, but played it with a sense of morality. My family doesn’t believe in selling people out over something as unsubstantial as a job. My grandfather worked at a factory for years and he had a co-worker that wasn’t able to lift a lot of the packages because of a back problem. Did he sell her out? No. He did all of the hard work and left the easy stuff for her so she wouldn’t get in trouble. And my mother passed on several chances to advance and become a supervisor because she believed that it wasn’t right to be friends with people and talk and complain with them, then turn around and become the person they complain about.

This is how I was raised and this is how I thought the world would be, with people first. Finding out that this is what that life does to you has been a traumatic realization for me. The very thought that someone would put a fucking schedule over a person is horrible. It’s like that line in The Graduate, “Plastics”. These people are hard and fake and cold. I don’t recognize myself sometimes, I am bitter and loud and constantly pissed off. That’s not me and I refuse to let that be me. I want to keep my sense of morality and all of the goodness that comes with it. I want to be happy and fun. I want to live my life how I want to live it without the jackasses putting in their two cents.

And this is why I’m writing this, I want to tell you that the bubble is good. If having miserable lives was a good thing the people that had them would be a lot happier. I have learned that it truly is a privilege to be able to live your life and be free, having people who give a damn and respect you is rare, and making your own rules is the greatest freedom that you can enjoy. Did I learn? Yes. Was it a lesson worth learning? Debatable. While I appreciate my life of leisure way more than I ever did, I don’t believe that that is enough of a redeeming reward for all of the bad I have experienced. I was appreciated once. I was respected once. I was free once. And I gave it all up for nine bucks an hour. Now don’t get me wrong we all have to go through rough patches on the way to success, but if the rough patch is never going to smooth out kick it to the side.

I am happy to say that I will be returning to my bubble and I can’t get there any quicker. I will never take it for granted again. So my fellow bubble folks I need you to do this one thing for me, whether you choose to stay in the bubble or step out for a while always remember the person that you are and never forget it. Don’t let the world change you because you were meant to change the world. Trust me you will always hear how easy your life is and how you need to grow up, but don’t you dare. Adults are sad, miserable, pathetic people and they want you to be one of them because misery loves company. The people who love you will always keep you safe and encourage you to find your place in the world. They will never ask you to sell yourself for the sake of time or money. REMEMBER THAT!!!!!!

Be happy ;0)

A Glimmer of Hope

Dear friends,

My last letter was that of a bitter little bubble girl and I would like to say I stand by EVERYTHING I said, but I do have a little something to add. Though there are people outside your comfort zone that will insist on making your life as difficult as possible and though the real world is a often times a harsh cruel unforgiving place, there is always a glimmer of hope. People do exist that care and remember what it was like to be young, there are people that will stand in your corner, and at times the world can be fair. It is not all the time and lets be honest it doesn’t quite make the bad more bearable , but for those like me the people that live off of glimpses of goodness it is enough to get us by. The bubble is good and I still urge you to stay in it, but when you venture out into the “real” world remember to look for the good and spread it around as much as you can.

Peace and love,

Erica T. ;0)

I Finally Did It

So if you know me at all you know that I have been stuck in a crappy job for like almost two years. You also know that I have been wishing/hoping to quit since like last summer. Well I am proud to say that I have been free of that hell hole for two weeks and honestly the past two years have become a bit of a blur. School is getting ever so much closer and even better Vegas is right around the corner. I feel good people, really good. At work I had to deal with peoples nasty attitudes and being micro managed to death and honestly I didn’t want tot get into the mindset where I just follow orders and act like a good puppy, Half the time these people didn’t know what the hell they were talking about but they wanted to always tell you what to do. No one talked to you or treated you like you were a human, instead they assumed and barked out orders like you just got out of preschool and I hated every minute of it. Sorry I have been raised to expect better from the way people treat me. Never have I had to deal with something like this and I pray I never again have to. I am so content now spending my days as i want to. i have time to go out for walks, I don’t have to fight crowds in the morning, I can read and watch t.v., and I can think and breath without some bitchy girl thats younger than me giving me the evil eye. If you have ever had peace of mind or never had to answer to others than you know how good this feels. There is no greater joy in the world and I am lucky to do it. I have gone from angry and hostile to happy, peaceful, and content in just two weeks. CCM was like a disease that I needed to get rid of and I am so much healthier now that I have.

Rudi Sucks

Today I met my mortal enemy…Rudi. Maybe you haven’t heard this rant before (lucky you) but I have a thing against the chick that plays Rudi on the Cosby show. I had the unfortunate honor of growing up right in the midst of what I call Cosby mania. Any cute little black girl was compared to Rudi and I hated it and her for it (similar story with Urkel but we won’t get into that now). For one thing her bright personality was written for her…my cuteness, charm, and wit…all mine! I wanted to act when I was a kid and trust me I could have acted circles around that little brat! Plus I was way cuter than her! So I have always wanted to come face to face with my rival and slice her with my fierceness…too bad that didn’t happen. Instead I run into her today looking like two cars just ran over me. And her you say…how did she look…well as much as I would like to say she looked like crap I cannot tell a lie. That little (and I do mean little…seriously she’s like 5’3 in heels!) witch strolls into H&M looking like a bloody supermodel. That skank was gorgeous I couldn’t find a flaw…though I like to believe if you washed off all the make-up, tossed some water in that hair, and killed off her trainer she would be a hot mess (you know its true!) But today she wasn’t so I must give props where props are due…but listen here Rudi you may have won today, but we will meet again and next time YOU’RE GOING DOWN!!!!

And So It Begins

I just made it through my first two weeks of school and so far it’s not as bad as they made it out to be. That is the number one reason I NEVER listen to people!

Hello world!

I have no fear of looking like a goof....mainly because I am one

I rather like the whole hello world title so I am deciding to keep it (unoriginal? yes. unavoidable? maybe..). So this is officially my first post on here and my fourth (maybe fifth???) attempt at keeping an on-line blog. Why you ask? Well I absolutely adore the idea of writing my thoughts and random stories on-line and I thirst for some form of creative outlet, but unfortunately I am kinda lazy. Oh yes I am LAZY, but I generally am not a quitter once I get my mind set on doing something. We shall see…. i think since I am starting while on vacation from school (GRAD SCHOOL SUCKS!!!!) I can at least commit to keeping this thing up for a month or so. Here’s to taking a chance and hoping it all works because there is more to come my friends!

You’ll love me, BELIEVE ME!