U/S today

I was going to wait until I heard from my MW, but I still haven't, so I'll update this later when I hear....or maybe she'll call when I'm typing. :)

Well, the follie that was 36 is now 40 and the one that was 18 is now 23. I'm thinking the 40 is a cyst, but I don't know for sure. Is it even possible for an egg to be that big? Man, all I keep thinking is if it's a cyst, that's gonna hurt like a son of a gun when it pops and if it is a follie, it's gonna hurt like a son of a gun when it pops through...either way, it's gonna hurt like a son of a gun. :( I don't get it....and I'm frustrated. Why can't one month go right?? Oh, yeah, because I'm TTC...it's the law that not everything can line up in a month no matter what.

I started getting signs that O is close....but it's probably still a couple days away. So, now it's just wait to see what my MW says. Apparently the fact that I have a bowling ball in my ovary doesn't account for an emergency. :(

UPDATE: Apparently my MW had 2 deliveries today and it took awhile to get back to me. In my mind, no excuse....I mean what's more important, someone trying to squeeze out a watermelon or the fact that I have a bowling ball in my ovary?? Just kidding. :)

Anyway, my MW consulted with an RE who suggested the trigger shot....so I did that this afternoon. We have an IUI tomorrow morning and another one Thursday morning.

Looking forward to popping out my bowling ball.....

Thanks SOOO much for all the support guys! I appreciate it!!

U/S results...second post of the day

It's your lucky day! You get to hear from me twice!! Woohoo!!

Well, the one follie that was 28 is now 36 mm...the other 2 have decreased. That number really freaked me out..talk about popping out a bowling ball! My MW thinks I should definitely feel that one coming out...sweet...looking forward to that for sure. We were thinking about doing an IUI today, but we're going to wait to see what the u/s shows tomorrow and see and go from there. With the pain I had last month, she's hesitate to do the trigger shot again. So, we're going to play things by ear tomorrow.

Gotta love it. :) Thanks for all the support you guys!

I also forgot to mention before...congrats to Jody and Fred on the arrival of Emily! She's beautiful! And Michelle....just wanted to let you know I was thinking and praying for you a lot. (((HUGS)))

Monday morning...so good to me.

Yeah, right. :) There's just something about Monday mornings that I don't like. :) I ended up sick yesterday and still don't feel tops today, although better. I got the pinkeye. :( I started on the drops right away, so I'm hoping it doesn't get as bad as Mark. I spent most of the day yesterday laying down and watching the Vikings get their butts kicked.....sad team. I'm embarrassed to be a Vikings fan. I really like Peyton Manning and I've been cheering them on. Kris would be so proud of me, huh Meg? :)


I have another u/s this morning. No surge all weekend. So, we'll see where we're at today. I've been thinking about getting the trigger shot, but with 3 good eggs, that could be triplets.

I guess we'll see where we're at today at the ultrasound. It's today at 8....so I'll know pretty quick. :)

Have a great day you guys!!!

Pinkeye anyone??

We got pinkeye in our house. :( Mark is pretty sick. I did finally take him in yesterday because his right eye was really red, so I knew he had pinkeye. Turns out he does have pinkeye and a virus on top of it that just won't go away. Last night he was so sick, up coughing most of the night and stuffed up with runny eyes....and now he has pinkeye in both eyes. On top of that, he's having severe nerve pain in his ankles and when he was going to get some pain killers for that during the night, tripped over the dog in the dark and hit his head on the floor. Poor guy. I feel terrible for him. I wish this would get better. It seems to be getting worse. Last night when he was coughing and sniffling, I asked him if there was anything I could do and he said "Get me more rocks. Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.". Poor guy.

And, today my eyes starting hurting. It could be that I see Mark's eyes and they make my eyes hurt, but I'm sure I'm getting it. So, we're staying home this weekend.

Otherwise, not much new to report. Just hanging out I guess. This is another really boring post, isn't it?


Oh! I got out of jury duty!! I called there to talk about a couple dates that wouldn't work. Turns out they knew Mark and said I needed to be home and they were going to excuse me. I asked if they needed a doctor's note and nope! They were just going to excuse me. How cool is that? So, I don't have to worry about that!! :)

BTW, Cindy and Michelle...or anyone who knows....how do you get those images from photobucket to show up here? I've tried and tried and I can't get it to work. I know it's operator error....it's gotta be the hair. :)

If anyone is looking for some pinkeye...we got it! I'll try to send it over!

UPDATE: Thanks soooo much Michelle! It worked! Now I'm excited to use those!! Thanks bunches!!!

Ultrasound results

I had an u/s this morning. I'm on CD10. I wasn't expecting anything, but I have 2 follies on my right at 28 and 15 and 1 on the left at 16. Mature is considered at around 20. The one is HUGE!! I wasn't expecting it so soon...so of course I go into panic mode. I call my MW who thought I should still be okay until Monday when my next u/s is scheduled, but she said to watch the surge and call her immediately if I get a +. No peak on monitor...reading high the last 2 days. I've heard you normally O 5-10 days after last dose of Clomid. My last dose was last night. So, she thinks it's too early and we'll see. I did talk to a few girls on the board who think the 28 one will dismature and doesn't contain a viable egg and the other 2 will get bigger...gosh I hope so.

If anyone has been on Clomid and would like to add anything or say something, I'll take any wisom or experiences. :)

For those on the board, you can find more information there that I don't want to publish here that was a bit stressful and hard for me. :(

I've spent most of the morning crying. Why can't 1 month go the way it's supposed to? It just seems that every month something doesn't go right. I hope the girls are right and that the other eggs flourish.

I think this "funk" that I'm in doesn't help. I think it's making everything else seem such a big deal.

Being I don't drink (and really shouldn't anyway :))....I think I'm due for a huge cookie dough blizzard at the DQ. With my luck, they'll be closed for the season....

Have a great weekend everyone!!! :)

BORING---yawn....

There's really not much new to report....our life is so boring right now. Seriously, I was sitting here trying to figure out what to say and I realized that nothing has been going on lately...how sad. Mark has been sick with the flu and is having a really hard time getting over it. So, we've been staying at home doing pretty much nothing...which is okay because I haven't felt like doing much of anything anyway. I did sit in the hot tub yesterday!! Woohoo!! See, that's my excitement for the week....how sad. :(

Oh, and we have mice. :( I HATE mice! I noticed they had gotten into my fall decorations so I put some Decon in the basement....I'm now on my second box and it's almost gone. Then, I noticed droppings in the garage and I put a box out there. Now, they've gone through 2...so we need to get more. I just hate mice.....ewwww! Mark hates them, too, so usually I'm the one who has to deal with them...but he said if I find a dead one, he'll take care of it.....and I'm holding him to it. I don't care if he's puking his guts out. :) Aren't I the best, loving wife? :)

On the TTC side, I'm on day 4 of Clomid. I'm going in for an ultrasound tomorrow morning to see what's going on. Otherwise, not much new. Just the ole wait, wait, wait......I feel that's all I do. Wait for O, Wait for AF......sigh.

Have a great day you guys!!!

More pics

Here are some pictures I'd like to share...isn't this fun??? :)

Here are Tyler and Peyton on Friday on our baby-sitting day.
A tip...never take your eyes off a child with a marker. Peyton had gotten into a marker and decided to draw herself a beard. We had so much fun washing that off. You can see Tyler in the background laughing. He thought it was so funny Peyton had a beard...I fail to see the humor in it.....okay, it is kind of cute. :)
Here is Tyler and Peyton with a monkey pile on their grandpa.
Michelle, look at this!!! I found a "swimmer" on my carpet last night, too!!! Isn't that awesome?? Mark couldn't believe I took a picture....I told him I had to share it!!! :)

Not much to report. We had a rather boring weekend. Mark was really sick. I think he came down with the flu or something. He still has a sore throat, but he's able to keep things down now which is good. Our whole weekend was spent in the house, catching up on laundry and doing nothing....with an occasional nap. Sounds great, huh? :)

I've been thinking a lot about Deena and how it just isn't fair. I've realized that my blogging and board friends have become so much of a "family" to me. They are the people who understand so much of the heartache and pain we're going through and to see one of my family members hurting so much....it just breaks my heart. I feel so blessed to have found you guys and have become such a close-knit family. I don't think anyone would choose to go down this road we are, but everyone would choose you guys as friends....thanks!


TTC update: I've taken Clomid for 2 days now!!! I go in for my first u/s this Friday to check on the progress. I'm not expecting too much. I'm thinking it's gonna be way early...but there is no way I'm taking any chances this month. Like Shari would say, I'm pumping up the volume!!!


Have a great day you guys!!!

Here I go.....

I'm tagging everyone that reads this that hasn't done it yet :)

Jobs I've had
1. Gas station clerk
2. Waitress
3. Hotel receptionist
4. Transcriptionst

Places I've lived
1. Cushing, WI
2. Menomonie, WI
3. St. Croix Falls, WI (I'm not really adventurous, am I?)

Food I love
1. Spaghetti
2. Mac and cheese (I'm such a kid at heart)
3. Anything Mexican
4. Cheeseburger with fried onions and onion rings.....nothing but the best!!!

Places I would rather be
1. On a cruise like the milk maid was on :)
2. Hiking in Colorado
3. Anywhere with my baby in my arms
4. In the hospital in labor.....yeah, that's right. :)

Movies I love
1. Any Sandra Bullock movies...she rocks!!
2. Any X-mas movies...I'm such an X-mas freak
3. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...I love that movie and can watch it over and over.

TV shows I watch
1. Judge shows
2. Deal or No Deal...although some people really piss me off!
3. Survivor
4. Wheel of Fortune...man I'm old.

Okay, everyone who hasn't done this, I expect to see it!!!

I need more rocks....

Remember when I said a couple days ago that sometimes there just aren't enough rocks? This was my day yesterday:

1. First, I wake up to take my temp. I misjudged and ended up smacking my forehead against hte corner of the nightstand so I have a huge gooseegg on my forehead that looks like a huge zit...nice. I never knew temping could actually physically hurt. I knew it can sometimes emotionally hurt.
2. Woke up to find syrup on the floor by the refrigerator. Turns out it had fallen over and opened so there was syrup everywhere. It couldn't have been water, or milk or even Mark's diet syrup....no...had to be my syrup with tons of sticky sugary stuff. I've scrubbed and scrubbed but we still have to be Hulk Hogan to open the door.
3. We had the kids yesterday and their grandma (my sister's husband's mom) came by. Tyler begged to go with her and stated he didn't want to stay at our house anymore and when their grandma was leaving, both kids are crying with Peyton screaming her head off. I had to tell the grandma when she was leaving that we really aren't mean to them. Talk about breaking my heart.
4. I got a summons yesterday stating I have to do jury duty for the month of November...my first time ever....great. Like I needed that this month.
5. I had a panic episode where I thought Peyton had gotten into some of our antibiotics. She had the bottle with no pills. I finally found all the pills and counted them and it turned out she hadn't but everyone knows the panic you experience with something like that.
6. I ran out of my favorite mocha decaf mix my mom makes for me that I have every day and I couldn't have it yesterday. Hint, hint, Mom. :)

I know, not the worst day, but at the end of the day, I took a deep breath, looked at Mark and he said, "I know, sometimes there just aren't enough rocks". I think maybe I've said that too much...oops.

Tomorrow I start Clomid!!! Woo-hoo!! I never thought I'd be excited to start it, but I am! I gotta tell you what the pharmacist said when I picked them up. He told me the usual side effects, blah, blah and told me I had to take one a day...yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he told me "And these won't work unless your hubby's involved".

Comedian.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!! Love to all!!!

Thursday ramblings

Happy Thursday everyone! I'm excited as this is my Friday! I took tomorrow off to babysit the kids so tomorrow I have "off"....maybe I'll be wishing I was working?? Just kidding. :)

Here are a couple pictures I've been wanting to share:

This is Tyler writing his name. I can't believe he can do it! He's in preschool. I'm soooo proud of him. He said he did it all by himself without help from anyone...although I found out later Grandma did help a little by showing him his name. :) But, isn't it cute? I'm the most proud aunt!

This is what Tyler made for me last Friday when I got my BFN. It melted my heart. :) He's such a sweetheart!

I was thinking about what life was for Mark during our TTC and this is what I came up with.

First week: AF comes. PMS, crabby, irritable and...well, you know the drill. :)
Second week: STRESS!! When will O come??? POAS, holding the pee for 4 hours, not drinking, wanting to throw sticks when there's not a +.
Third week: Finally some relaxation (well, for me...maybe not for too many TTCers :))...can drink when I want, pee when I want.
Fourth week: STRESS!!! Am I pregnant? Am I not? Was that a twinge?? Am I nauseous? Please let me be nauseous!!! Please let my boobs hurt like you wouldn't believe.


I asked Mark how he gets through this every month....and his answer?


"To be honest, I think of cars".

I'm on CD2!

Yay! I got spotting yesterday afternoon and AF came full force last night! I'm so glad I didn't have to wait a week like last month!

Thanks so much to you all for your wonderful comments yesterday! I truly appreciate it all! It's so nice when you're having a bad day to be able to vent and have people understand. It means the world, so thanks!!! (((HUGS)))

I had an appt with my midwife yesterday. Mark came with just in case he'd have to flex his muscles to get her to see it my way...yeah like that would help. :) Anyway, I'm very happy as she was willing to do anything knowing the insurance will be changing. She understood the urgency and said I had a great plan.
1. We're starting u/s on CD10 and doing them every day as long as they are above 15.
2. I'm starting Clomid...yay!! So anyone who has advice on that, I'll take it!
3. We probably won't do the trigger shot because I had such a reaction to it last month and it probably overstimulated.
4. We're doing 3 IUIs this month!!! We're doing them at 12/24/36 or close to that.
5. I'm staying on the progesterone.

I'm very excited about this plan. I think it really helps our chances alot. At least if I don't get pg, I went out with flying colors!

I would like to add that my mom is the greatest! She's so thoughtful! Yesterday she made a lasagna (Mark's favorite) and brought it down for supper last night. I didn't have to worry about supper at all and that was a wonderful feeling, especially with the down day I was having. I'm so lucky to have such a thoughtful mom! Thanks mom! I love you!!! :)

I'd like to close with proof that my husband is a car fanatic. The other night we ate at a restaurant his oldest son used to waiter at.

Mark: I wonder if his old girlfriend will wait on us.
Tammy: I feel awful, but I can't even remember what she looks like. Do you?
Mark: No clue. But I remember her car! It's awesome!!!

Sigh.....

Welcome to my pity party

I normally try to be a positive person but this is the place where I can vent and scream and whatever, so I apologize in advance for the negativity of this post.

The last few days have been very tough. I've been in the why me?/it's not fair?/what am I doing wrong? mood. I thought for sure I'd be one of those women who got pg in the first few cycles. It's been over 4 years....about 1-1/2 years of aggressive work with doctors. Why? My mom and sister had no problems at all....so why am I having trouble? I'm frustrated beyond words....some moments I feel better, other moments I hate this. Last night Mark and I had a conversation:

Mark: Honey, you look like you're about to cry again...I'm sorry.
Tammy: (Between sniffles) Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.
Mark: (Puzzled look).
Tammy: You know, from the movie "Forrest Gump" where Jenny's throwing the rocks at the house and Forrest is with her and says that.
Mark: Oh, yeah. Do you want me to get you more rocks?

Then again last night when I was stressed out about our insurance (we found out that our wonderful coverage will probably change at the end of the year):

Mark: It's all gonna work out, honey. We just need you to relax.
Tammy: Everybody says that. I'm sick of hearing that. Man, if relaxation was a way to get pg, I'd have been pg at 10 and there would be pg women running around everywhere.
Mark: I think you would've been too young to be pg at 10.

What a jokester (not sure how to spell that word).

Like I said above, it sounds like our insurance will probably change at the end of the year. So, basically I need to get pg before the end of the year. I have an appt with my midwife today to discuss my concerns and what I want to do for this next cycle. I have an appt with a fertility specialist on Nov. 28...the soonest I could get in and they're squeezing me in.

Why is this happening? It just isn't fair. Yesterday I heard about a woman who went into the doctor for abdominal pain. She was slightly obese. Turns out her last period was in February and she was due in November. She hadn't been taking prenatals, had been smoking and drinking and was so upset about this pregnancy. How do people like that get to have babies and we can't? It's not fair.

Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.

Memo from the Peanut

To: Mommy and Daddy
From: Your little Peanut

I'm so sorry I wasn't able to come to you this month. I could see you crying so hard, mommy. And daddy, I could see the pain in your eyes as you were comforting mommy. I was so sad, too, that God didn't choose this month for me to come to you. I know you get mad at God, mommy, but please don't. He is thinking of what is best for you, daddy and me. I want to come to you, but God says it's not the right time. Every month He says no, I get so sad and even more sad when I see you cry. But don't worry about me. I'm waiting here patiently until my time comes with all the other babies waiting to come. Think of all the freinds you've made, mommy. Your friends' babies are with me and we talk about what great mommies we have and how lucky we are. Can you tell your friends that? I know they get sad, too.

Thank you mommy and daddy for loving me so much. I can tell how much you love me already and I can't wait until God tell me it's time to come. I'm so lucky to have the best mommy and daddy. I can see you with Chad and Peter and how well they've turned out. And I see you with Tyler and Peyton and I see how their little smiles and hugs make your eyes glow. I can't wait to meet my brothers and cousins. Although I'm a little worried because Tyler isn't always real nice to Peyton. I hope he's more gentle with me. Mommy and daddy, can you talk to him about that?

I know you have done so much and tried so many things to have me. Keep trying and don't give up on me! I promise I'll be worth it. You already love me so much. I know you're gonna love me even more when I come and all the tests, money, heartache and emotional pain will seem like a memory. Even my poopy diapers and crying will be worth it.

I'm coming mommy and daddy! Keep praying! One day God will tell me "Peanut, it's time" and I'll be so excited and I know you will too! I'll shower you with hugs, kisses and love. And with each smile, you'll fall in love with me even more. Each smile, cry, laugh, kiss and hug will melt your heart.

I know the wait is hard. It's hard for me, too. But I'm coming and soon we'll all be together. Stay strong, mommy. It's okay to cry and be sad. Be sure to keep your strength up. You're gonna need it when I come. :)

I love you mommy and daddy! Thanks for loving me so much to go through so much for me.

BFN

Crap. I just hate this so much. Right now, I have so many thoughts running through my head.

1. Why?
2. What am I doing wrong?
3. We've been trying since 2003....why can't I just be pg?
4. I am so much less of a woman.
5. Why does God hate me?
6. And again WHY ME???

Thanks for the support you guys! Thanks for being here! Love ya! Man, I need to drown my sorrows. If I drank, I'd need a gallon of vodka right now.

Beta today

Can we say NERVOUS????? Man, you'd think it would get easier, but I think with every cycle it gets harder and harder. In some ways I don't want to know and in other ways, I'd rather know and get it over with....I know a lot of you understand that. :) My midwife is off today, so I don't know if I'm going to find out today or not. I could call triage and find out, but if it's negative, I'll need the support from my midwife instead of "It's negative. Is there anything else I can do for you?". And if it's positive, I'd rather her be the one to tell me rather than someone else with all that she's done....she told me she couldn't wait for that day. :) I'll be updating when I know. :)

I was up most of the night last night with a horrible headache. I also had a stuffy nose which I've heard is a sign??? But, it's gone now. It could be that I'm getting the cold my mom had and if that's the case, I'd like to say "Thanks Mom for giving me that false hope! You're the best!".

Say extra prayers today! Thanks so much for the support! :)

Good-bye to the milk maid :(

We're sure gonna miss our milk maid. Who's gonna make us laugh every day?? We hope you have a great time on your cruise! Are you sure there isn't room in your suitcase for me? :) Have fun!! I can't wait to hear Faith's reaction!

Thanks Jen, Meg, Aradia and Cindy for your comments! You guys all made me smile! Thanks for the encouragement! (((HUGS)))

Not much new to report today.....kind of a boring day. Say, did anyone watch "Deal or No Deal" last night? I swear I'm going to have to soon stop watching that for fear of me throwing something at the TV. I mean when you're offered $133,000 and you've got 4 cases left, 3 of which are below $25,000....take the stupid deal!!! Mark laughs at me because I get so mad at people.

Anyway, on the TTC front, I'm getting a blood test tomorrow at 8:00. This is the part I really hate about TTC....to hear "It's negative...I'm sorry...you should be getting your period soon". I know....it could be a BFP but I've been devastated so many times that it's hard to believe it'll ever happen. But, I guess we'll see. I do have an appointment with a fertility specialist November 29. I'm excited for that. Hopefully then we can figure out a more definite plan. But, I might not need it because I'll get my BFP!! :)

Thanks again for the support guys!! You're the best!!! (((HUGS)))

I gotta do rumor control

Last night I e-mailed a guy we knew who sells used cars. He's the husband of our old boss. We both used to work at a gas station part-time....me while I was going to school and Mark for some extra dough....and that's where we met. :) Actually the first words Mark said to me was "You're even quieter than I am!"...to which I responded "Well, what do you want to talk about?". Mark shrugged his shoulders and we didn't talk the rest of the night. When I bring that up, he can't believe he ever said that. He says now he can't get me to shut up. :)

Anyway, off track here. So, I e-mailed this guy and told him we were looking to sell my 2-door convertible and get a 4-door and a "family friendly" vehicle as we were hoping to have a baby soon. He responded with a big CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Ah, oops. I probably shouldn't have mentioned the baby thing looking back at it now, but I thought that would give him more of an idea of what would be best for us. I can totally see him telling his wife whose gonna tell everyone at the gas station.....and then rumors are going to fly. What have I done?? I was panicking and Mark was laughing....mostly because I was panicking. He thinks it's funny when I mess up. :)

On the TTC side, not much to report. You can't really go by my chart as I'm on progesterone which makes temps, symptoms, everything, unreliable. But, I still want to chart because if it's a BFP cycle, I really want the chart in the pregnancy book. What's kind of ironic is this month's chart is almost a carbon copy of April's cycle when I had my early m/c. It's almost identical. Last night I was telling Mark it felt like deja vu and I was a little worried. But, I know with the progesterone I can't really rely on temps or anything anyway.

Sigh.....once again, the joys of TTC.

Is it just me or is this weird??

I'd like to start out by saying that I love my mother-in-law. She is so sweet and loving and we get along very well. There are just some things she does that leaves me scratching my head.

She recently moved into a smaller house and has been trying to downsize. We've gotten a lot of the gifts we've given her back....well, if you didn't like them, just tell us. :) What's kind of funny is that when we were moving her out and I tried to throw away old calendars from the 1990s, she did not want them thrown away saying she likes to use those as scratch paper and paint on them (she hasn't painted in over 10 years). Sigh......

Yesterday, Mark's brother stopped by with a huge envelope of pictures we've given her. Most were pictures of the boys when they were young. Some were pictures of Mark when he was young (man, he was sooooo cute, but he won't let me share :( Bummer!). I was a little hurt that she would give back the pictures.....I mean, wouldn't you want to keep them until you're gone? I wouldn't give up my pictures for the world and my family would have to go through them when I'm dead....which will be quite the task being I'm a huge picture taker.

On top of that, there were pictures of Mark's ex's (Bambi---odd name if I do say so myself...some day I'm going to ask her how Thumper is doing :)) second wedding. Some had pictures of the boys in there which we'll keep, but there were a few of just Bambi in her wedding dress or with her new husband. What the heck? I don't want those!!! What was she thinking??? I told Mark we should just send them to Bambi and tell her we don't want them. He says to just throw them away. I hate throwing any pictures away....but in this case, it may be necessary. :) Maybe I'll keep them for dart practice. :)

Maybe I'm just overreacting, but I was a little hurt that she would give all the pictures back. I guess we won't be giving her any pictures this Christmas. I usually give her a bunch from the year. But like I said, I love her to death and she's awesome...just some of the things she does makes me wonder sometimes.

Then, last night we went grocery shopping. We usually get gallons of water but we refill our jugs to save $1 a gallon. So, when we got to the checkout, I told the cashier the water was a refill. He asked where it was and I pointed to it. He then said "Is it a refill?".....uh, duh. I look at Mark and he's trying his best not to laugh. Then he's scanning in the groceries and gets to the water and looks at it very confused for I would say 10 seconds. He says "Did you say this is a refill?". At that point, Mark can't control his laughter as he knows I've been PMSing and knows that I'm gonna get pissed and he's really feeling for the guy. I held it together though. :) But the whole way home I'm telling Mark about how grocery stores need to hire smarter people and those who have half a brain. To Mark saying "yes, dear", "I hear ya".

Mark's learned so well. :)

Where did the weekend go?

Seriously, the weekend just flew by. It was such a busy weekend that I'm not ready for Monday yet...I need a weekend. :) The toy show was fun. We didn't sell too much, but more than we usually do so that made it better. :) We sell toy cars as a side thing...but mostly just for fun and as a little getaway. Mark's really into cars. What is it with men and cars?? :)

I bought my first baby stuff!! Woo-hoo!! I found these at the show this weekend. Here are a couple pictures:



It's a Precious Moments burp cloth and pillow. I LOVE Precious Moments stuff. When I was in high school and placed at state in gymnastics 2 years, my mom and dad gave me Precious Moments figurines to celebrate and remember and ever since then, I've loved Precious Moments stuff. It's hard to find them in baby stuff, so when I saw these, I couldn't resist.

There has been some good news floating around in the TTC world! Meg got AF and is now on her way to IVF!! Woo-hoo!!!! I'm SOOO excited for ya girl!!! And Amy and Sharon are having a BOY!!! Woo-hoo!! I'm excited for you guys, too!! And Michelle is on her way to IVF too!! I'm so proud of you for "pumping up the volume" as Shari said! :) This will be it for ya girl!!

As for me, nothing new to report...just the same old stuff. I'm planning on getting a blood test on Friday to see. If I'm not, I'm going to stop the pregesterone right away so AF isn't so late this time.

Hope you guys have a fabulous week! :)

Yay for the weekend!!!

I'm so glad it's the weekend! We're going to a toy show so I'm getting out of the house!! Woo-hoo!!! Anytime I can get away is good for me...especially with me working from home.

Thanks so much Tanya and Cindy for your comments! We have done a little talking about the pump, but Mark's doctor has said he's too brittle and that he isn't a really good candidate for it. And Mark has stated quite a few times that he's not interested in trying something new at this point and having "something hanging from him all the time". I don't know. I've thought about the pump, too. But I don't know. Thanks though you guys!

Remember the leaves I was complaining about not too long ago? Well, it FINALLY stopped raining enough that we were able to pick some up Thursday night. We were able to get quite a few done! Woo-hoo!!! It's such a pain! We have a "leaf picker upper" on the back of our lawn mower that we use. Mark and I had been at it for 2 hours, I was exhausted and not feeling good, when my mom, sister and the kids came to help. All of a sudden I hear Tyler running up to me all excited and saying "Tammy, I'm here to help! It's all going to be okay!". And right then and there it was. :) It melted my heart. He's such a sweetheart! Then, Friday we were going to do more leaves and then guess what it does....yeah, it rains...and it hasn't let up. Sigh...gotta love nature.

I did go to the doctor for this pain and burning on my side. He said it's either a cyst or irritation of the ovary from the trigger shot....leaning more towards the irritation. He thought it was probably "normal". Talk about feeling like an idiot. I felt so stupid. If this is "normal", I might have to swear off trigger shots, too. Let's see, I've sworn off HPTs, now trigger shots....wow....pretty soon there won't be anything left. :) Anyway, I just need to give it time and it'll feel better. I hope so. I've had the talk with the ovary....I must have really pissed it off. :(

Oh and check out my chart! http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/186e65
I'm on progesterone, so it's hard to rely on any temps or symptoms or anything, but if you notice, I had a big dip yesterday and then a big rise today. I was wondering after yesterday about a possible implantation dip and then with the rise this morning, I really started wondering. But again, progesterone is EVIL and it can cause my body to do so many weird things....so who knows. Besides....I still don't have a good feeling about the timing. But, anything is possible.

Have a great weekend everyone!! :)

Thursday ramblings

Well, Mark and I had a long talk last night. I told him my concerns with his blood sugar reactions and with the baby. He is just as worried as I am. He never remembers what happens when he gets the reactions, so he is pretty worried about hurting the baby. We realize there isn't much we can do about them and there's nothing that's Mark's fault. We did decide that we might have to check his sugars more often....although he's checking them 4 times a day now....and we might have to do more shots....although he's doing 6 shots a day right now. I keep praying to God and I know He listens. I do think He'll protect us and the baby....it's just scary. Thanks you guys for your wonderful words of encouragement! It means so much!

I'm still having that dull ache on my left side and it's kind of a burning sensation. If it was my right side, I'd be worried about appendicitis. At first I thought maybe it could be a kidney stone as my dad has them. But, it is getting better and I have no blood in the urine. So, I'm pretty sure my poor little ovary is still mad at me. Besides, I would not want to join Meg and Amy in the "kidney stone club". I feel bad for you guys. :( If the pain isn't gone by Saturday, I'm going to make an appointment to see my midwife.

I have been asked when I'm going to POAS (pee on a stick)...uh, yeah, not gonna happen. I've sworn off HPTs (home pregnancy tests)....they're EVIL sticks!!! :) Seriously though, my wicked mind has thought about doing it now just so I can see what that double line looks like. With the trigger shot, I would get a positive for sure right now. Then I'd get that BFP I've wanted!

Speaking of Amy, CONGRATS girl!!! I hope the adoption goes through!!!! I'm so excited for you guys!!!

And Cindy is missing an egg.....if you find it, can you please send it her way? I think it's playing hide and go seek. Cindy, we can talk about the toast lessons. :)

Michelle, if you're reading this....remember that we love ya and it's gonna happen. You WILL get your BFP! God isn't deaf...He hears ya....His plan is just different than ours. As hard as that is to accept sometimes, He works for the good of us and not for the bad. ((((HUGS))))

I'm kind of freaking out :(

Okay, so I know I've discussed something like this before so I apologize if I'm letting it get to me again. But this is the place for me to get out my fears, frustrations and excitement, so here it goes.

As most may know, Mark has diabetes. He has some low sugar reactions. When he has them, he either knows he's low and takes care of it himself or doesn't know and he either acts drunk, violent (although very, very seldom does he act violent), cooperative and eats, has seizure activity or is unconscious. Well, in the last couple days, he's had 2 reactions. One was where he was acting drunk and running into walls, etc. He was "overly affectionate" to me and the dog, hugging us and being a little more "aggressive" with his hugs...although he meant well. Then, the next day, he had a reaction with seizure activity which is pretty scary.

I started thinking....this is probably going to happen when we have a baby. How the heck is this going to be "okay"?? If he's low and too rough with the baby....that's scary to even think about. Of course I'd be there to watch out for it....but it's hard trying to take care of someone with a low sugar reaction and a baby on top of that. I can just picture him being "out of it" and we have a crying baby in the background. Then with the seizure activity, when the baby is older, it's gonna scare the crap out of the baby and it kills me to think how the baby would feel. I mean our dog was freaking out and I had to try to calm it down. He even was huddling in the bathroom and he doesn't like the bathroom at all (too many bathes :(). So, I'm terrified what it'll to do our baby. Even for me, seeing him having the seizure activity is a tough image to get out of my head.

Sorry, this is kind of a bummer post. :( Guess I just needed to vent a little.

On a positive note, my mom brought the kids over for lunch yesterday and I made Tyler and Peyton some peanut butter toast. Tyler took one bite and said "Tammy, you made the best toast ever!". Okay, sound of Tammy's heart melting. :) I'm so excited that I'm the best toast maker and no one can take that away from me according to Tyler! :)

Rain go away!

We live by a lot of trees. I love it so much...except in the fall. Man, all those leaves SUCK!! Granted, it's pretty but cleaning them up is horrible. Well, there are a lot of leaves in our yard and we've been waiting for the weather to dry up so we can take care of them. It hadn't rained for a couple days, so we were thinking by tomorrow or Thursday, we could start....but nooooo, it had to start raining again. In our neighborhood, you have to clean leaves up every few days...otherwise it gets to be too much. Why won't the rain stop? We're in for a real treat soon. Here are a couple pictures of our house:

Front lawn and driveway about a week ago....hardly any leaves. That's my dog being pretty brave walking out on the road.

This is today...from the view of my office where I "work" (or that's what they think I do :)). So many leaves...and they just keep piling up. Tyler's dying to help...and man, we'd let him if we could. :)

Okay, so today on the radio, the morning show was talking about bloggers and how they have no life. What the heck?? What's up with that? They said they couldn't find anything interesting about reading about what Joe Blow does today and what he has to say....well, of course I don't find what Joe Blow has to say interesting. But, my friends I find VERY interesting! :) I did e-mail into the radio telling them I was not happy with their comment. Of course I never heard anything back...funny how you always hear about the "good" comments but never the "bad".

Other than that, my life is pretty boring. We did watch "Knocked Up" last night....so funny! I love that movie! I was dying laughing!

Oh, and my little ovary is still acting up. I think it's really mad at me. :( Poor little thing. It's been through so much.

Have a great day guys!!! Tomorrow is hump day!!! :)

I'm having pregnancy symptoms!

But it's not what you think...sorry. The trigger shot is making my body totally wacked up. I got the shot Friday afternoon and that night my boobs were soooo sore and then the next day I was nauseous and just not feeling "up to par". I made a comment to Mark "If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was pregnant.". LIGHT BULB!! I started thinking, HCG-pregnancy hormone, HCG trigger shot.....duh! So I asked my midwife the next day if the trigger shot can cause pregnancy symptoms to which she said "Yes. Sorry, I should've told you that.".....uh, yeah! Would've been nice....sigh. It's fine...it's just having the symptoms of pregnancy when you're not is hard to take.

I'm still having ovulation pain on my left side where my 2 eggies were. I was worried about a cyst, but figured the u/s would've showed that. After talking to the wonderful girls on the board, I've figured it's still ovulation pain. I have been rubbing my poor little ovary and saying to it "I'm so sorry I had to put you through that sweetie....but if you just let me be pregnant this cycle, then I promise you I'll give you a nice, long break from popping out those bowling balls! Is that a deal?"

Think it'll listen to me? :)

Other than that, not much else to report except that I'm soooo excited for Michelle! Her temp went up so much this morning! Woo-hoo!! I really want this for her. Her and Nick have been at this far too long...Nick has been in Iraq (he's home safe now, thank God) and Michelle miscarried back in March. I feel they've been through enough and it's about time they get their BFP. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers! I'm really, really pulling for you guys!!!