Tag Archives: hurting

hurt me just a little more

Posted on May 16, 2019 by undermounted

There are times I feel as if I allow myself the luxury of emotions, I would sink into a despondent crisis of monumental magnitude. Which is why I hold so tightly to the control I require to manage my life, … Continue reading →

Posted in Affair, Relationships | Tagged affair, control, hurting, sex | Leave a comment

death of a parent

Posted on May 8, 2015 by undermounted

I have a small hand written note you gave me 4.5 months before you died. It’s the only thing I have that you once touched. You taught me the safety of knowing I was protected when you were home. You … Continue reading →

Posted in Family | Tagged anniversary of his death, coping with loss, death, death of a parent, family, Father, grieving, hurting, loss | 14 Comments

3rd Day 1

Posted on June 2, 2014 by undermounted

Fuck you for contacting me after yet another 7 months spent recovering from you Nice new email address you have with your new girlfriends name along with yours What am I supposed to do with your cordial email greeting Dropping me … Continue reading →

Posted in Affair | Tagged affair, broken hearts, cheaters, ending an affair, hurt, hurting, i love him, i miss him, i need to be strong to stay away, liars, pain, scars, sorrow, when your affair partner contacts you, why do men lie, why men cheat | 14 Comments

delicate gardner

Posted on May 17, 2014 by undermounted

i have been increasing my activity level and it’s killing me you think i am exaggerating – but i am not today i was gardening and i over did it muscle fatigue about 98% and i don’t mean planting pansies … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged exercise, exercising to the point of muscle failure, gardening, hot tub, hurting, muscle fatigue, somebody massage me, spring, too much exercise, transplanting | 15 Comments

Grief despair and pain

Posted on December 11, 2013 by undermounted

I think that when you lose someone whom you love, you hurt so badly for so long, that you become as much numb to the pain of loss as you are deeply aware of it. It’s very similar to … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged death, desolation, despair, dying, grief, hurting, losing faith, losing someone you love, misery, pain | 6 Comments

Happy Anniversary – NOT

Posted on September 14, 2013 by undermounted

So…for my birthday 2 weeks ago…spouse said Happy Birthday to me and then the day happened. He did not take me to dinner, did not buy flowers, did not buy a small gift or even procure a birthday cake. No … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged anniversary, aspergers, autism, autism sucks, bad parenting, being mean, failure as a parent, family sucks, fuck you, happy anniversary, hating your life, hurting, i have to pee, narcissist, not a role model, rant, ruined anniversary, ruined birthday, sociopath, using alcohol to numb things | 29 Comments

comfortably numb

Posted on August 14, 2013 by undermounted

I have protected myself so long, that when I finally ‘did’ open up, I fell hard and completely. I was with him 18 months and my feelings did not diminish but expanded during this time. He was the supernova of … Continue reading →

Posted in Affair | Tagged admission, admission affair blowjob cheating cock copulation craving cunnilingus demanding sex dominance dream erotic erotica feminist happiness husband infidelity joy kiss Lifetime of longing lip biting longing, affair, anxiety, comfortably numb, depression, hurting, panic attacks, post traumatic stress, ptsd | 4 Comments

smothering fear

Posted on August 4, 2013 by undermounted

I wish I wasn’t so damaged by my past or feel so terribly vulnerable to the perceived threat of future pain. Abandonment comes to sit on my chest like a treasured and loved pet vulture. My carrion heart has nothing … Continue reading →