Tag Archives: pain

shards of sand

Posted on March 21, 2017 by undermounted

things are not as they should be as i want them to be or need them to be i have no desire to fix it or break it i’ve tried so hard to walk away, move on i’t’s been years … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged affair, ending a relationship, liars, pain | Leave a comment

neglect trumps abuse

Posted on February 1, 2016 by undermounted

When you are repeatedly hurt as a child It forces you to retreat inside of your head You fiercely protect the ember of your soul You bury it deeply inside of a shrivelled heart Refusing to weep and bring her … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, Family, parenting, Who I am | Tagged adoption would have been better, bad mothers, child abuse, pain, parenting, unwanted children | 3 Comments

night terror

Posted on December 19, 2014 by undermounted

startled awake, heart pounding, my eyes fly open to see the dark room of night in that brief moment of sudden awareness, i mentally check my environment i’m in bed, my spouse is beside me; in fact he is still … Continue reading →

Posted in depression, Poems, Who I am | Tagged admission, fear, night terror, night terrors, nightmare, pain, sleeplessness | 11 Comments

damaged foundations

Posted on December 11, 2014 by undermounted

I pretend to be a strong and confident woman and it’s all simply a show. I pretend for my own benefit as I always assumed one day I would actually feel the things I stated I felt. Seems simple enough, … Continue reading →

Posted in Affair | Tagged affair, damaged, ending an affair, hurt, love, pain, unable to love | 6 Comments

3rd Day 1

Posted on June 2, 2014 by undermounted

Fuck you for contacting me after yet another 7 months spent recovering from you Nice new email address you have with your new girlfriends name along with yours What am I supposed to do with your cordial email greeting Dropping me … Continue reading →

Posted in Affair | Tagged affair, broken hearts, cheaters, ending an affair, hurt, hurting, i love him, i miss him, i need to be strong to stay away, liars, pain, scars, sorrow, when your affair partner contacts you, why do men lie, why men cheat | 14 Comments

Grief despair and pain

Posted on December 11, 2013 by undermounted

I think that when you lose someone whom you love, you hurt so badly for so long, that you become as much numb to the pain of loss as you are deeply aware of it. It’s very similar to … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged death, desolation, despair, dying, grief, hurting, losing faith, losing someone you love, misery, pain | 6 Comments

any given Sunday

Posted on September 22, 2013 by undermounted

I have stopped and started 100 different ideas, unable to finish any as my mind is fragmented and unable to organize. I feel disjointed and sad. Unbearably morose with no single event to trigger it, just a deep sorrow that … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged adhd, anemic, cramps, depression, disassociation, emotionally drained, heating pads, hormonal, mood swings, national football league, NFL, pain, physically exhausted, PMS, self protection, sunday dinner, Sunday rituals, tired | 5 Comments

Essay: Loss, Depression, Faith and Relationships

Posted on September 15, 2013 by undermounted

It has been 6 months since my discovery that lead to my leaving my prior lover. I have not been “right” since. I know the hows and the whys and there is nothing left to discover or disseminate from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged abusive mother, abusive parents, being damaged, childhood trauma, children, depression, emotional scars, emotional support, essay, faith, lack of touch, loss, loving yourself, mother, mother daughter relationship, mother son relationship, moving on, narcissist, pain, parent child relationship, raising emotionally healthy kids, relationships, sociopath | 10 Comments

sticks and stones

Posted on July 30, 2013 by undermounted

I am sitting here on the verge of tears Wondering where the years went Feeling scared and unappreciated Wondering if I’ll die without living Wishing I could lose weight Without actually exercising Or giving up comfort food I use food … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged addicts, alcoholic, alcoholism, being thrown under the bus, bi-polar, depression, emotional stability, fear, food addict, internalizing trauma, making a mountain out of a molehill, manic, mental health, mental illness, pain, pathological, psychology, self destruction, sticks and stones, struggle to lose weight, therapy, triggers, using food as emotional fulfillment, weight loss | 22 Comments

female troubles

Posted on July 14, 2013 by undermounted

Sometimes being a woman really sucks, you know. We live with pain as part of our lives, more often than not, on a regular basis. Think about that for a moment. We don’t “just” get a period that lasts 7 … Continue reading →