My husband and I had a little discussion the other day about people-pleasers being one and the same as self-pleasers. We talked about a lot of controversial points in today’s world, so he suggested I put our conversation in another blog post. The people-pleasing theme has already run through many of my posts, so this may be a reiteration of a post I wrote about people-pleasers here: People Pleasers and Brownie Points; and also my post on why people don’t like us here: Can We Just Like Each Other? So, I thought I had it covered.

However, he then asked, “Can you be a people-pleaser without being a self–pleaser?” In my prior posts, I alluded to people-pleasers being one and the same as self-pleasers. My question in my overly analytical mind is, “Why do we want to make everyone else happy?” What’s the bottom line? Is our heart’s motive selfless or self-serving?

I know of at least two churches where the preachers taught on the subject just this past Sunday! Lately, I’ve seen several articles, posts, blogs, etc. on this subject. Hordes of books have been written on people-pleasing, approval addiction, and boundaries in the past few years. Some hype could be the psychological money-making bandwagon. But when the phenomenon reaches numerous pulpits, we need to take notice.

With God, everything is a matter of the heart, even when we are pleasing Him.

We must ask ourselves:

• Is it possible to please others and/or yourself and still please God?
• Do we do our good little deeds for God or to feel good about ourselves?
• Do we want to puff up others, or do we want to puff up ourselves?
• When caving to the will of others, is our desire to bring them fulfillment, or are we seeking their approval?
• When seeking the approval of others, is it not seeking our own satisfaction?

We have begun to wonder if some sort of revival is beginning to break out over our country. Fence riders are beginning to fall off. One of those fences is full of people-pleasers. Eventually, everyone will have to choose one side or the other, so we might as well start now!

When revival and/or trials hit, God calls his people to step up to the spiritual (not religious) plate. He said we are not able to live by double standards. God is not only love, not only grace, but God is truth. Where do we get our screwed-up lives from? Lies. Deceit. Lies. Hypocrisy is rooted in lies. Double standards are rooted in lies. And believe it or not, people-pleasing is rooted in lies… for by pleasing one, another must suffer. We will never make everyone happy at the same time!

Maybe God is fed up with our fence-riding and is finally pushing us to stand for integrity. Perhaps He is building character in His children to enable us to survive the hard times most are predicting. I don’t believe for one second the martyred Christians were seeking the approval of man. How will we react when evil hits our doorstep? You’ve heard the line in the old Aaron Tippin country song, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” God just wants our yes to be yes and our no to be no (even in the little things!) so we will have the character needed to withstand anything the enemy throws at us! Jesus said in John 5:41, “Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me.” Perhaps we should follow his example.

God’s approval is all we need. Yet, we tend to have an unhealthy fear of man, seeking popularity over integrity, instead of a spirit of love and respect for God.

Lord, forgive us for our apathy. Help us to follow truth, no matter who it hurts. Because following truth is following you. Help us to stand for that which is right. Because in standing for that which is right, we are standing in love for all.

.

.

**Highlights in color are links for more information.

.