Someone once told me that because I did not trust him, I did not possess unconditional love.

Another person once told me that because I did not ignore the wrongs she inflicted on me, I had an unforgiving heart.

Both people said I was not showing a biblical spirit. Have you been accused of the same?

And yet, could they back up their position on actual scripture??

Just what are “biblical” love, trust, and forgiveness? Does anyone really know for sure? Depending on the situation, I’ve had some of the most asinine excuses. Some were quite laughable. Unfortunately, even seasoned Christians sometimes use these guilt tactics to further their own cause. I think we are all guilty at times.

Ask yourself a few quick questions and check to see in what context they are using scripture in their accusations:

• Do they pull out the words that would enhance their point of view while ignoring the full context?
• Are they pulling the “love” card to shift the topic?
• Do they pull the “forgiveness” card because there is something they do not want to admit?

So, let’s refer back to the Bible… Yes, Jesus said to turn the other cheek. He also said to brush the dust off your feet and leave town if they reject the truth. Jesus said to go the extra mile and give until it hurts. But he also overturned the money-changers in the temple… very angrily, I might add! (Luke 6:29-31 & Matt 10:14 & John 2:13-17) So which is it? Are we to be doormats or angry at sin?

I know it all sounds contradictory, hypocritical, and two-faced. But really it’s not; it’s both. You see, there is great strength in love. There are boundaries in forgiveness. And God in his awesomeness gives us the Holy Spirit for some good old-fashioned common sense!!

I am reminded of what is called “The Love Chapter” in 1^st Corinthians 13. The middle of the chapter gives God’s definition of love:

Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Do you see that? The two highlighted lines? Most of the description is about simply being “nice,” character traits that I agree most in our society have totally forgotten. But the two highlighted lines are simply ignored by people with an agenda. Love puts others’ best interests above oneself. That also means we sometimes need to say things that make us very unpopular, an act that is almost impossible for non-confrontational people. Love will not ignore, excuse, or gloss over truth in the name of grace. Love is grace in truth.

And trust? Trust and love are not synonymous. Jesus said in Matthew 10:16, “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” That doesn’t sound like Jesus is too trusting of men to me! And then God says in Jeremiah 17:5, “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength.” Wow! So much for trust! Oh, but then, He goes on to say, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord.” So, there you go. We do trust. But we have to be selective as to where we put that trust. Why? So we are not led astray into the abyss of someone else’s control, because that’s not love. We trust men only when they are saturated in God’s truth and in God’s love. In essence, we trust men through God.

And yes, we all need to forgive, but love will not accuse someone of unforgiveness to cover up their own sin. A wrong against another is still wrong. Forgiveness frees up the anger in our own souls. Forgiveness does not negate the wrong; forgiveness negates revenge. God will take care of judgment. When we hold unforgiveness, we are, in essence, playing God. But we should never gloss over sin in the name of forgiveness. God will still hold them accountable. We only need to be concerned about our own hearts.

How do we know if we have unconditional love and forgiveness? Watch our thoughts along with our actions:

• Do we serve others because we want to or because we feel forced?
• Do we expect anything in return?
• Do we expect credit for our deeds?
• Are we critical of others?
• Are we kind?
• Do we stand for the truth… no matter who gets upset?
• Do we defend the “little” guy?
• Do we always give second chances (without negating the wrong)?

God does not acknowledge our good deeds if our motives are in the wrong place. God cares about the heart.

 

Love does not promote itself, but it will stand firm.

Love is unselfish.

Love is strength in truth.

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**Highlights in color are links for more information.

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