Tag Archives: brown

3362. Irises

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Desmond collected irises. He had all sorts, in all sorts of different colours. His favourite were the blue ones – “All irises should be blue,” he would say. His least favourite were the muddy brown ones. There were some yellow and one even verged on grey. But each colour was outdone by the blue. There were so many shades of blue; such subtle differences.

As happens with most collectors of things, he ran out of room. He had to refine what he collected. He would stick to blue and that would be it. He still had far too many. His wife was starting to get driven up the wall. “Can’t you collect something else?” But no, he couldn’t, or rather wouldn’t.

“I regard my collection of irises to be a crucial part of my profession.”

“Don’t be silly,” said his wife. “No other eye specialist has such a collection stored in bottles of formaldehyde.”

1279. Brown eggs

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Una and Rory had been married for fifty-two years. For fifty-two years Rory had devoured a boiled egg for breakfast. One egg and a slice of toast. Una made it for him every morning.

Rory was a little fussy; the egg had to be dark brown. Brown eggs were healthy. White eggs were feeble and lacked vitamins and health. A daily dark brown egg it had to be. Brown eggs came from healthy, robust chickens.

“It’s the brown eggs what done it,” said Rory on his eightieth birthday. Which just goes to show that Una’s secret of boiling a white egg in tea was good for the health.