Tag Archives: elope

3480. Royal ignominy

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It had been a family secret known by everybody for years: great grandmother, Florrie Fergus, was from an upper class English family and had eloped on a sailing ship with a rustic Irishman called Rory O’Flaherty. Her family would have been disgraced, so all was hushed up.

No one knew exactly who the upper class English family was; that is until great grandson Harvey came along with his geological expertise.  Great grandmother Florrie Fergus was the third cousin twice removed of the Duke of Marlborough. She had had a sophisticated home schooling (“palace schooling” would be a better term) and was somehow related to the King of England, Archibald IV. She also played the violin averagely competently.

The tradition whispered down the generations spoke of her as one who was destined to wed Archduke Günter of Bavaria, and instead she ran off with Irish yokel, Rory O’Flaherty, and shamed anyone who had an ounce of decency.

All of this these days might seem to be irrelevant except for one thing: the current heir to the English throne, Princess Gwendoline, announced her engagement to a man called Donal O’Flaherty who happened to be the fourth cousin once removed of Harvey the Genealogist, and the direct descendent of Rory O’Flaherty the Irish rustic.

Shame was once again about to descend upon British nobility. Secret negotiation were underway, but too late. The announcement had been made. Lord Ashville Robson claimed that this was tantamount to incest. Lady Beverley Stern-Rosenberg spoke for many when she said, “Upper class or not, the Princess Gwendoline has no class. Only ignominy can happen when one marries a commoner.”

3227. Wedding day

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Eloping was a good way out, especially since Martha’s parents were filthy rich. They had money coming out their ears. An elopement would prevent Martha’s parents from staging the extravagant parental wedding they would want. An elopement would prevent Martha’s parents from staging the extravagant parental wedding that Martha and Mick didn’t want.

Martha and Mick had fallen in love in the flash of an eye. Yes, Martha’s parents might have been rich but that was nothing to Mick. He had been brought up in a poorer area of town and his values didn’t lie in a bank vault. He loved Martha for who she was as a person.

So elopement was a natural course to follow, and they did follow. It was a Thursday afternoon and they first booked into a motel, then went to the court house, got married, and went to a restaurant to celebrate.

When they got back to the motel there was a message for Martha. How her parents had found where they were was beyond her, but it’s amazing what money can buy. The message said she had been disinherited. Not as much as a penny was ever to come her way.

It wasn’t a brilliant way to end their wedding day. Mick said he was going for a walk. He left the motel and never bothered to come back.

2326. Here comes the bride

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Karen’s mother and I have been estranged for about twenty years. Karen was only three when Samantha packed up and left. She wanted nothing to do with Karen. Now suddenly it’s all lights and bubbles.

Karen’s about to get married – this very day in fact – and as soon as an engagement was announced Samantha appeared out of the woodwork and began organizing things. Karen wanted a small quiet wedding; Samantha wanted it big. Karen wanted it in a little country church; Samantha wanted it in a sprawling garden. Karen wanted to wear something new and lovely that she could use as Sunday best after the wedding (we’re not particularly well-off); Samantha wanted a full-scale wedding gown. Karen thought little home-made cupcakes could be fun; Samantha wanted a three-tiered wedding cake. The list went on and on.

Of course Karen tried to be nice. She tried to steer convivially between her own wishes and the demands of her mother. Not particularly successfully I must admit. The wedding is today. It’s meant to be outside. It’s meant to be with an extravagant wedding gown. It’s meant to cater for at least two hundred people. The mother of the bride has a new hat. And a new dress. And a new handbag.

Anyway, I’m happy to say it looks like it’s raining. In fact it’s currently hosing down. And I’ve just got a text message from Karen and Gilbert. They got married yesterday in a registry office before leaving for their honeymoon.

2278. Empty station

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By the time I reached the station the train had gone. I had been going out with Dolores for almost three years. In fact I was about to pop the question. I was planning how best to do it when she announced it was all over.

“It’s over,” she said. “I’m eloping with Patrick.”

I couldn’t believe it. I went outside and stood there looking at nothing. Eloping with Patrick? Eloping with Patrick?

I saw Dolores leave the house and head for the train station. Someone said she and Patrick were heading into the distant blue. I was at a complete loss. After half an hour or so I thought I’d race to the station and plead with her to give me another chance. But the train had gone.

I don’t think I will ever forgive my brother.

2012. Traditional wedding plans

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Amanda was a solo mother. She had the one daughter, Anita, who was eighteen. Amanda knew that one day, perhaps sooner than later, Anita would get married. She knew that although Anita would say it doesn’t matter she really would like to have a lovely wedding. Nothing lavish; but a lovely wedding with flowers and pretty clothes and a modest but enjoyable feast. Of course, Amanda didn’t have much money but she had saved little bits for a long time. In fact, every Saturday Amanda would sell herbs growing in pots at the town’s Saturday Street Market. It was a dollar here and a dollar there.

Nineteen years earlier, Amanda had got married. She had always dreamed of a wedding. It ended up being “a rushed job” because Anita was on the way. Two weeks later, Kevin was killed in a car accident. It was partly why Amanda was determined to give Anita the best wedding possible.

Suddenly, an engagement was announced! Fintan was the loveliest. Amanda couldn’t have wished for a better possible son-in-law! His father was a lawyer, and Fintan was in his first year practising as a family doctor. Amanda couldn’t wait to meet his parents!

His parents said they’d pay for the wedding drinks; that was the tradition, and Amanda would pay for the rest. They suggested they limit the invited guests to two hundred each. Amanda said she didn’t think she knew that many people, and Fintan’s parents said that it was a good thing because they could invite more on their side to make up the numbers. It was, after all, a society wedding. He was an important lawyer in the town. Things had to be done properly.

What a mess it was for Amanda! What stress! She would have to tell Fintan’s parents that she couldn’t afford it. But first she would have to tell the happy couple.

Anita and Fintan laughed! They had a solution! They’d already thought it out. They were eloping. Tomorrow. And they did!

Fintan was disinherited. It didn’t matter too much because his medical practice flourished. These days Amanda has three grandchildren to help her on Saturdays at her herb stall. Fintan’s parents have no grandchildren; well, none that they care to know.

1944. I didn’t know

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Apparently I can’t do much right. I mean, how is a guy to know these things? I gave her a bunch of yellow roses and she said yellow meant “goodbye” – at least in her vocabulary of flowers. I wrapped some white gladiolas in some black tissue paper. I thought it looked stunning and she said that to wrap things in black paper meant everything was over.

It just went on and on. I didn’t know she was allergic to peanuts when I cooked up some Chinese using peanut oil. I didn’t know that years ago her grandfather had drowned and it was insensitive of me to say “Let’s go to the municipal swimming baths on this hot day.” When I asked “Would you like a wine?” I didn’t know her mother was an alcoholic. I didn’t know she had run over her cat when she backed out of her garage. I didn’t know she detested football. I didn’t know that there wasn’t a thing in the world that didn’t upset her. Everything under the sun brought on shocking memories and reactions. I didn’t know she was a Pandora ’s Box of carping whinges.

On and on and on and on and on. I didn’t know at the time that my brother was right when he told me I was a fool to marry her. Good luck to the guy she’s eloped with.

181. Elopement

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181elopement

Christina and Dominic had been best friends since the age of eleven. Back then, he would let her ride his bike. He would carry her school bag.

Now they were all of nineteen, and Christina’s parents had said she was not to marry until she was twenty. There was still one year to go.

Dominic got sick of waiting. He worked on a cattle ranch. He got on his horse and galloped off to Christina’s house. She came out to the gate. He bent down and scooped her up onto the horse and they careered off back to the ranch. It was so romantic. It was sort of almost like Cathy and Heathcliff stuff.

Christina and Dominic had seven children, twenty-seven grandchildren, and sixty-two great-grandchildren. They had a wonderful life. But they never got round to getting married.