Tag Archives: forest

3252. Fate in the forest

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Melusina happened to be Lucinda’s horrible stepmother. She had just finished abandoning Lucinda in the dark and dangerous forest where she would be attacked by hyenas and other voracious carnivores. She was well pleased with her efforts. It had been a long time planning, and now the deed was done. Lucinda was gone forever.

It was then that Melusina realized she was lost. The sharp thorns of the climbing vines held her back from pursuing the path. She realized she had forgotten what direction she was facing.

She started to call out. That simply attracted the curiosity of the wild animals. They surrounded Melusina making terrifying growls. And then they ate her.

3159. Just a kiss

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Children! Children! I read you that fairy story to help you think about our world as it is today. As you just heard, the handsome prince hacked his way through the forest undergrowth, came across a castle, found a sleeping princess, and kissed her. I have a number of questions.

1. What was the prince doing hacking down the forest indiscriminately? He’d clearly feel quite at home in the Amazon rain forest. A prince slashing down the undergrowth is not a story for children.

2. The existence of a castle in the middle of nowhere shows the wastage of the rich. Only a billionaire would squander such money on a useless thing such as a castle in the middle of nowhere. Do they have no shame squandering good market gardening land between the sea and the lake? Are you going to protest or what?

3. The princess sleeping in the middle of the day shows how these upper class billionaires view the middle class. Oh yes! Leave it to the workers to produce a comfortable lifestyle for the rich and famous. If you had all that money would you bother working? Who would? They should be taxed to the hilt and put in prison.

4. Finally, children, he kissed her. Is that all? As you know from your reading of library books, kissing doesn’t stop there. How are you to learn the facts of life? I want you to rewrite the ending of this story to make it more realistic. I have here a list of words you must use to describe what happened after the first kiss.

5. And don’t tell your parents.

2892. Hiding the corpse

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I’ve driven to this place son, to show you the exact spot where I proposed to your late mother forty years ago. You might wonder why I proposed to your mother on a lonely road in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere. The truth is, I’ve bought you here to tell you exactly why.

 As you know I have been diagnosed with terminal cancer, so it’s time to come clean. It was here we came to bury your mother’s ex-boyfriend. He wouldn’t leave her alone. He followed her everywhere, Yes, we did him in. And we brought the body out here to secretly hide it. After that she confessed that she was expecting and you were the result. Only I was not the father.

I instantly went down on one knee and said “Hedwig, will you marry me?” Even though I didn’t have a ring. And she said yes.

There was a little cave around here somewhere where we hid the body. If we find it we’ll put your mother’s corpse in there as well. No one need know what you did, and it’s a relieve to me in my final days that it’s all over. She threatened to tell the police the truth but Fate stepped in when you wielded that frying pan. A fried egg will never be the same. I’ll think of my liberation every time I fry a sausage.

There! That’s the little cave over there! Let’s get a move-on.

2734. Swings and roundabouts

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After Anika had murdered her husband and his mistress she had no idea how to hide such a trail of blood. She had taken the sickle from the shed and whished it about aimlessly in the bedroom. In the dark. She had no idea what she was hitting, but hit her husband and his mistress she did. All was revealed when the light was turned on. Anika was surprised. Her husband’s mistress was her brother-in-law’s cousin.

But what a mess! Anika first dragged the brother-in-law’s cousin’s corpse out to the car and stuffed it in the back seat. She them dragged her husband’s body out to the car and dumped it on top of the other corpse. She then drove off in pursuit of some isolated patch of forest where no one ever went.

She was heading in the vague direction of the countryside when she was stopped by a cop. Did she know that one of her headlights wasn’t going? He issued a warning and didn’t even bother to notice the two bloody bodies dumped on the back seat. Anika continued her journey.

Eventually she entered a lonely forest lane. She stopped. It took her over an hour but she managed to drag the two bodies into a hollow and cover them with leaves and branches. She returned home and cleaned up the mess. Two days later Anika briefly returned to the forest.

A little while after this a terrible happening came on the radio. A fire was destroying a large section of forest. Two bodies had been found. Anika went to the police and said she thought one of them could perhaps be her missing husband. Dental records proved that to be the case. These days Anika is happily married to her brother-in-law’s cousin’s widower.