Tag Archives: liner

3596. Wonderful Caribbean cruise

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I’ve saved all my life for this. Ever since I was a kid and read about it I’ve wanted to go on a Caribbean cruise. In a gigantic cruise ship with sunshine and swimming pools and ball courts and sun umbrellas and deck chairs and …0h… How wonderful! How wondrous! But so expensive.

Well, I’ve thrown all caution to the wind. If I’m ever going to do it I have to be drastic. When I get home from this cruise I can start over again – saving for a retirement down the track, one day buying a house, all that. I’ve spent almost everything I had to get this cruise. I’m here! It will be an expensive, but life-lasting memory. Yipee!

Well yippee-do. I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. I can hardly stand up in my little cabin room. The decks are so crowded there’s nowhere to move. The swimming pools are sardines in a can. It’s frightful. I’ve not once found an empty deck chair. The food seems alright, but a few apparently have gone down with salmonella. They reckon it might have been the chicken.

Yesterday we arrived at our first port of call, and we were able to alight and wander the city and shop and sightsee. It was more like an average little town with a few shops. And things were so expensive! By the time I’d bought a coffee and a sandwich I was heading for bankruptcy. The only people I met were off the same boat as me. So much for meeting the natives.

And now I’m all sunburnt. They said to wear a hat. Yeah right. Who needs a hat? I’m back on the cruise liner all red and sunburnt all over. Thank God it’s raining.

2796. Hitting the wrong note

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Linden’s ship was in town. He was the pianist at a high class restaurant on an ocean liner. His job was to play stylish mood music from seven in the evening until midnight, seven nights a week.

The liner had been at sea for over a fortnight, and he was looking forward to having a night off. Coming into this particular port was his chance. His piano-playing friend from university days lived in town. He had pre-arranged with Annette for her to take his place for an evening.

Annette had been practising. Five hours of playing meant a lot of music had to be ready. She could hardly play a piano arrangement of Debussy’s Prélude à l’après-midi d’un faune every five minutes. Off she went to the ocean liner with a huge pile of music. She had left early to have a little wander around the liner. Of course she wished she had brought her purse with her. She never realized a liner had so many boutique shops with pretty things! At seven she  began to play.

People seemed to enjoy her playing judging from the number of tips left in the jar on top of the piano. Midnight came a lot faster than she would have thought. She was justifiably pleased and packed up her music to return home.

The ship had left the harbour. They would be at sea for three weeks.

2750. Bon voyage

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What a wonderful surprise! Charles Dawson arrived home from work and flabbergasted Ursula, his wife, with two tickets to a luxury cruise around the Greek islands. It was something that Ursula had always wanted to do.

The cruise was to begin and end in Rome, and after a long flight they boarded the ship.

Imagine their astonishment when attending their first meal to see that their next door neighbours were taking the same cruise. It’s a small world indeed! Andrew and Nanette Fogarty were a most pleasant couple and would be admirable companions on the cruise. Nanette had surprised Andrew with the cruise in the same way that Charles had surprised Ursula.

After several days stopping at this island and that island an unseasonal typhoon struck. What a battle to stay on two legs! Ursula Dawson and Andrew Fogarty were swept overboard. In the wild storm there was no chance of rescue.

Such audacity! Such grief! Charles Dawson and Nanette Fogarty moved into the same cabin as planned.

1823. Adventure on the high seas

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Look! It’s not Maxine’s fault that her husband was a sour-puss from the second he stepped onto the cruise liner. Gordon was determined to make Maxine’s longed-for cruise as unpleasant as possible. There were several reasons for this: Maxine had been planning this cruise for a year and Gordon was sick of her going on and on about it. Also Gordon was worried, if the cruise was a success, that she’d want to waste even more of their hard-earned savings year after year on further cruises.

They had been befriended by a Mr. and Mrs. Calvin and Gail Harlick of Cabin 1763. He was a buffoon if ever there was one, although Gail was quite nice. Actually a little more than quite nice, Gordon thought. But Calvin went on and on about nothing. He would monopolize the conversation at dinner and it would inevitably be about himself. The only saving grace at dinner was that Gail sitting opposite would affectionately rub the calf of Gordon’s leg with the toe of her high heels. It was their little joke.

Maxine and Gordon were always invited back to Cabin 1763 for a little drink after the meal, but so far they hadn’t accept the invitation. And then a storm hit. It was so rough that the passengers were confined to their quarters for a brief time. Gordon insisted he and Maxine go up onto the deck. “This storm is the only exciting thing to have happened thus far on the trip.”

That was when Maxine gave Gordon a push over the side, saying “Go join Gail Harlick.”

Steadying herself against the railing, Maxine made her way to Cabin 1763.