मन रे तू काहे ना धीर धरे?
“O heart (mind)! Why don’t you get a grip?”
Why do you roam aimlessly? What do you want to achieve?
Why are you letting time pass by?
Why don’t you let go?
Why not let the bygones be bygones.
Mind has accepted it, just waiting for the heart to comply.
दरवाज़ा बंद कर के बैठा है।
“It’s been sitting with the doors closed.”
Why the wait? What’s talking so long?
Go, be free.
Cannot gauge what the mind seeks.
Oblivious to what the heart wants.
Yet the battle between these two is palpable.
Never in sync; never in concord.
I wonder when their paths would cross.
And if the conflict ever ends.
What do I write today?
Hope: Whatever you want your grand children to read in future and smile!
Skepticism: I am not sure I’ll reach to a point of having grand children.
Faith: Oh sure you will. Okay, write about something you believe in.
Insecurity: What can I possibly offer that hasn’t been said already?
Mind: Every individual brings something new to the plate.
Heart: Let’s just go ahead and lament about lost love and what could have been!
Angel elf: You don’t have to be sad all the time. Temperate is good too. Take time.
Demon elf: Sulk baby sulk. Better than that, complain about people who have done wrong to you!
Strength: Why not encourage others? On how things always get better. Trust your instincts.
Desire: Create something magical. Your words shall enchant.
Girly side: Let’s talk about the pretty dresses you bought and ooo! those nail paints.
Independence: Let’s not waste time figuring out people. Explore broader horizons.
Persnicketiness: Watch you words.
Conscience: Chuck it all. Do what you want!
One dainty human and a sea of emotions! Today we just wonder about the possibilities.
Yeah..it is unethical..and not girl-like to talk about shit in public…but “why waste time abiding opinions”. So here I am with a poop story. God made me realize the very essense of patience today. I was out with my friends, celebrating a pal’s birthday and we ate a plethora of food from this restaurant(won’t name the damned restaurant) Everything under control yet. So was heading towards my home at night. And my stomach started taking some unsual rides. I was like okay..this is normal because I had so much to eat! Little did I know what was coming up. This uneasiness in my stomach started surging..increasing with each passing minute. So much so that I booked a cab instead of using the public transport(about ten times cheaper) so that I could use the loo sooner. Didn’t have NO strength or patience to search for it near by. I was still half an hour away from my poop destination. To be frank, I was pretty amused as I have very high threshold in these matters. I was talking to myself in head: Shit man! What’s wrong ? How can I feel so icky. That too being an adult. That ride was like the longest ever. iPod was turned off. Cellphone bunked into my bag. I was so directed and focussed I cannot express! Each red signal on the way paced my stomach molecules and made me hurdle here and there. MOST PATHETIC half an hour of my life. What all tricks did I manifest to deviate from my current situation! I was thinking about my past boyfriends. And then about things that calm me down. Shopping. Beaches. Washrooms. NO HELP. So I just sat there and took God’s name..and said to myself…just a few more minutes for the doors to Heaven. :D. And i proactively took out my keys and the money I had to pay to the driver. At last..it was over! There is no relief better than such. PS: There was something wrong with the food! My friend called me up cursing it later and said..aaaiii..loose motions! 😀
I could have waited till the end of time…till what they call eternity…till what could have seemed forever..till time lost its meaning..I really could have. But you never asked. My shredded pieces did yearn. My tears lost touch with eyes and kept falling for my cheeks. I would be startled thinking..what the fuck is wrong with them! I know you didn’t mean any harm, but you did plenty. Now when I am healing or so it seems, I only want peace and quiet. Harmony..is that too much to ask for?
You know what they say, every end has a new beginning. May we stay etched in time. May we grow past this and wish each other well. May we last in parallel universes. :).
There are days when my brain is advising: don’t write anything today..still I go ahead and do it anyway. Some days seem prosaically long to me. Like loooo…oong. The mornings would be super energetic and my energy will drain as the evening comes along. Or something might happen just to pull me down. Or may be these are just erratic mood swings..who is to say! I feel like a Pac-Man, you know the character from those childhood video games. It had to eat those small dots and gain as many points while avoiding the ghosts at the same time. You touch a ghost and you die. GAME-OVER. Dots I eat pretty well..but man! dodging the ghosts is a task. My ghost list is a huge one. Anything can stir me up. Or turn me blue. So I stroll..eating all possible dots..staying happy as I go along..doing my stuff..smiling..avoiding my ghosts. I avoid anything that I find even slightly repelling. Or a negative thought that is trying to make home in my head..I utter..no no no!
I have been getting such random thoughts lately. Of Pac-Man and the sorts. A lot of them and I want that someone just splashes a bucket full of water on me! Or I myself take a dive into some pool of water. Just to be taken aback a little. You know..feel the rush. Empty mind is a devil’s workshop…everybody knows it..but my empty mind is full of crap. Not even a seminary for devious ideas! It’s 11:09 pm IST. Chuck these thoughts. Chuck Pac-Man. Let me make use of the time before I fall asleep. :).
whimsical90 