So, ya’ll know I just moved recently, and if ya’ll didn’t know that before you know it now, and in case you missed it: HEY, 4-1-1, I just moved recently.
I hate moving, almost as much as… well, fuck truth be told, there is very little else that I hate more than the drama of moving all my shit from one place to another, especially when that place is considerably smaller than the place my shit used to occupy before I moved, but that is a blog for a different day…
In any event, I’m in my new shoe box, er, uh, home, and I’ve got boxes aplenty all over the place. Right about now you are more than assuredly wondering WTF does this have to do with her Yorkie, to wit, I tell you to keep your knickers on I’m getting to it…
Anyone that knows my Yorkie, Teddy, otherwise also known as that god damned dog, CUJO, Napoleon (little man with great, big fucking attitude), or my favorite, which he actually will answer to, for fuck sake Teddy… so now you have an idea of my baby’s back story in terms of relevant monikers. Now, anyone who knows him, knows that Teddy is the doggie personification of a Hoover vacuum cleaner, and has absolutely no compunction about putting anything in his mouth and attempting to eat it. I was never able to break him of this habit and god knows I tried after he ate a particularly fetching pair of Ferragamo mules when he was an itty, bitty baby… OMG, I so cried those were great mules…
So, I’m unpacking assorted boxes in my living room recently and I’m all caught up in the latest and greatest on my iPod so I’m not really paying too much attention to what is going on around me, well imagine my surprise when I hear my parrot start to go apoplectic (again a blog for another day, because Tikki is also a character in his own right)… anyway, I look over at the boxes that are scattered all over the floor and I don’t see anything particularly out of the ordinary and I almost have the quintessential TIKKI SHUT THE FUCK UP out of my mouth when I see one of the boxes move… hmmm… that cannot be good, especially since it’s marked X-MAS ORNAMENTS…
So, I get up walk over to the box, which if you will recall I now live in a shoe box, so it’s a pretty short fucking walk by all respects, and I look in, and who do I see happily munchin’ away at assorted X-mas ornaments, tinsel, and other shit, ah, if you guessed Teddy, you would be right… after I finish havin’ what has to be the umpteenth stroke of that particular day, and scoot him outta the box, get rid of the remains and proceed to scold him, to which he responds to by trying to bark at me louder than I’m yellin’ at him… go figure… bah, the point of this story is that I swear that one day that dog is gonna poop a X-mas ornament and I’m going to have to try and explain to what will undoubtedly be the Seven For All Man Kind Model who is temping as an emergency room vet HOTTIE Doctor, why exactly my Yorkie pooped a X-mas ornament…
Stay tuned to the blog, when I figure out how to do it, I will post pictures of all my critters, and there are plenty of stories to go along with each one of them…
Read Full Post »
wickedmoxie
Wickedmoxie's Blog 
Thoughts about Theodore E. Bear my Yorkshire Terrorist, uh, wait no that’s not right…
Posted in 2009, 2012, All, Announcements, Articles, bitchiness, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, drama, Economics, Economy, Edu, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, Current Events, dating, drama, Economy, Education, Entertainment, Environment, Events, Family, Fashion, Fiction, Film, Food, Friends, Funny, Games, God, Government, Health, Health Care, Hello, History, Holidays, Home, Humor, Inspiration, Internet, intro, Islam, Journal, Life, Lifestyle, rant, Uncategorized, tagged boxes, dogs, drama, Funny, hotties, ipod, Life, poop, rant, shit, thought, x-mas, yorkies on November 20, 2009| 4 Comments »
So, ya’ll know I just moved recently, and if ya’ll didn’t know that before you know it now, and in case you missed it: HEY, 4-1-1, I just moved recently.
I hate moving, almost as much as… well, fuck truth be told, there is very little else that I hate more than the drama of moving all my shit from one place to another, especially when that place is considerably smaller than the place my shit used to occupy before I moved, but that is a blog for a different day…
In any event, I’m in my new shoe box, er, uh, home, and I’ve got boxes aplenty all over the place. Right about now you are more than assuredly wondering WTF does this have to do with her Yorkie, to wit, I tell you to keep your knickers on I’m getting to it…
Anyone that knows my Yorkie, Teddy, otherwise also known as that god damned dog, CUJO, Napoleon (little man with great, big fucking attitude), or my favorite, which he actually will answer to, for fuck sake Teddy… so now you have an idea of my baby’s back story in terms of relevant monikers. Now, anyone who knows him, knows that Teddy is the doggie personification of a Hoover vacuum cleaner, and has absolutely no compunction about putting anything in his mouth and attempting to eat it. I was never able to break him of this habit and god knows I tried after he ate a particularly fetching pair of Ferragamo mules when he was an itty, bitty baby… OMG, I so cried those were great mules…
So, I’m unpacking assorted boxes in my living room recently and I’m all caught up in the latest and greatest on my iPod so I’m not really paying too much attention to what is going on around me, well imagine my surprise when I hear my parrot start to go apoplectic (again a blog for another day, because Tikki is also a character in his own right)… anyway, I look over at the boxes that are scattered all over the floor and I don’t see anything particularly out of the ordinary and I almost have the quintessential TIKKI SHUT THE FUCK UP out of my mouth when I see one of the boxes move… hmmm… that cannot be good, especially since it’s marked X-MAS ORNAMENTS…
So, I get up walk over to the box, which if you will recall I now live in a shoe box, so it’s a pretty short fucking walk by all respects, and I look in, and who do I see happily munchin’ away at assorted X-mas ornaments, tinsel, and other shit, ah, if you guessed Teddy, you would be right… after I finish havin’ what has to be the umpteenth stroke of that particular day, and scoot him outta the box, get rid of the remains and proceed to scold him, to which he responds to by trying to bark at me louder than I’m yellin’ at him… go figure… bah, the point of this story is that I swear that one day that dog is gonna poop a X-mas ornament and I’m going to have to try and explain to what will undoubtedly be the Seven For All Man Kind Model who is temping as an emergency room vet HOTTIE Doctor, why exactly my Yorkie pooped a X-mas ornament…
Stay tuned to the blog, when I figure out how to do it, I will post pictures of all my critters, and there are plenty of stories to go along with each one of them…
Read Full Post »