Posted in 2009, 2012, All, Announcements, Articles, bitchiness, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, drama, Economics, Economy, Edu, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, Current Events, dating, drama, Economy, Education, Entertainment, Environment, Events, Family, Fashion, Fiction, Film, Food, Friends, Funny, Games, God, Government, Health, Health Care, Hello, History, Holidays, Home, Humor, Inspiration, Internet, intro, Islam, Journal, Life, Lifestyle, rant, Uncategorized, tagged amusing, bitch, cookie, creation, dogs, farts, fun, Funny, hang out, happy, humans, Humor, lethal, Love, pets, play, rant, stupid, thankful, time on November 21, 2009|
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So, I’m sitting here watching my TIVO’d show and I’m watching the dynamic between my two canine boys unfold and I’m thinkin’ somewhere, the watchamacallit that sits up on top of the thing and passes judgment, on all of creation and it’s inhabitants, is probably thinkin’ how stupid are these humans that they can’t see I’ve given them one of the most precious gifts in the universe: the dog. I mean seriously think about it, dogs are a one-stop-shop for pretty much everything the human condition requires. A dog loves you conditionally, does not talk back (Teddy does but that’s a story for another day), accepts you unconditionally no matter what you might do, is always happy to see you come back, is heartbroken to see you go, always wants to cuddle, usually will make you crack up (unless he’s eatin’ your Ferragamo mules, then he’s makin’ you cry), and never, ever gets judgey. A dog does not care that your bank account has taken a shit, that your stocks are worth far more if they are used for toilet paper than for anything else, won’t bitch if you change the channel, actually wants to watch YOUR shows, always wants to play and spend time with you, and typically as far as he or she is concerned, YOU are the sun that his or her little planet revolves around. You will never hear your dog tell you you’re inadequate, not good enough, not present enough, not this or that enough, or anything else. You know what this was gonna be a rant on the fact that Crazy Legs (Teddy) is forever chasing the cat and making his life hell, and Sir Farts A lot has the singularly most lethal ability to gas ANYONE out of any room, but the truth is, Teddy’s self perception that only he matters and god help you if you get between him and his cookie, and Freeway’s noxious farts, really don’t matter, because when the shit hits the fan, typically, they are the ones that are there to help me sort through the fall out. This Thanksgiving was really going to be just one more shitty holiday, especially given all of the upheaval in my life in the last 36 months, but the truth I have lots to be thankful for, farts notwithstanding. I’m getting my health back, which means I can get back to my dojo, and to running and in general back to my life; I have my grandparents who I love more than anything else on the planet, and they are relatively healthy given they are 85 and 95 respectively; my businesses are starting to pick up; I’m writing a new manuscript; I’ve started this blog; and, I’m planning on getting certified in a few more things having to do with my tech services business. Things can always be better, buy really in the big scheme of things I guess they aren’t really all that bad right now… 🙂
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Posted in 2009, 2012, All, Announcements, Articles, bitchiness, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, drama, Economics, Economy, Edu, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, Current Events, dating, drama, Economy, Education, Entertainment, Environment, Events, Family, Fashion, Fiction, Film, Food, Friends, Funny, Games, God, Government, Health, Health Care, Hello, History, Holidays, Home, Humor, Inspiration, Internet, intro, Islam, Journal, Life, Lifestyle, rant, Uncategorized, tagged Current Events, drugs, ER, Funny, insane, Life, pain, People, shit, stupid, youtube on November 18, 2009|
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This one is for the ladies, hmmm, on second thought given some of the dates I’ve had could apply equally to the men… coloring your own hair when money is tight is a perfectly respectable way to save money; however, trying to wax your own legs, underarms or privates, is a sure way to spend an obscenely amount of money on pain meds, assorted burn remedies, and enough gauze to TP the Rose Bowl, several times over, but worse than that, it is ASSUREDLY a guaranteed trip to the ER, heavy on one very painfully embarrassing explaination to a group of doctors that will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, resemble the United Colors of Benetton/Calvin Klein Underwear Ad for the medical profession doing their very own version of one of the new Sexy Nike Running shoe Ads, with tight ass camera shots included… I’ll tell you at that point, and given that we live in the techno age, you can pretty much count on the fact that your privates are gonna be up on YouTube before the day is out getting compared to that “one time when the guy came in with a bunch of golf balls and his celly up his hoo-hoo”… who does that??? I mean for real???
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Theodore E. Bear & Freeway, or as they are otherwise known, Crazy Legs & Sir Farts A lot…
Posted in 2009, 2012, All, Announcements, Articles, bitchiness, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, drama, Economics, Economy, Edu, Bitching, Blog, Blogging, Books, Business, Commentary, Community, Cooking, cougar, Culture, Current Events, dating, Current Events, dating, drama, Economy, Education, Entertainment, Environment, Events, Family, Fashion, Fiction, Film, Food, Friends, Funny, Games, God, Government, Health, Health Care, Hello, History, Holidays, Home, Humor, Inspiration, Internet, intro, Islam, Journal, Life, Lifestyle, rant, Uncategorized, tagged amusing, bitch, cookie, creation, dogs, farts, fun, Funny, hang out, happy, humans, Humor, lethal, Love, pets, play, rant, stupid, thankful, time on November 21, 2009| 4 Comments »
So, I’m sitting here watching my TIVO’d show and I’m watching the dynamic between my two canine boys unfold and I’m thinkin’ somewhere, the watchamacallit that sits up on top of the thing and passes judgment, on all of creation and it’s inhabitants, is probably thinkin’ how stupid are these humans that they can’t see I’ve given them one of the most precious gifts in the universe: the dog. I mean seriously think about it, dogs are a one-stop-shop for pretty much everything the human condition requires. A dog loves you conditionally, does not talk back (Teddy does but that’s a story for another day), accepts you unconditionally no matter what you might do, is always happy to see you come back, is heartbroken to see you go, always wants to cuddle, usually will make you crack up (unless he’s eatin’ your Ferragamo mules, then he’s makin’ you cry), and never, ever gets judgey. A dog does not care that your bank account has taken a shit, that your stocks are worth far more if they are used for toilet paper than for anything else, won’t bitch if you change the channel, actually wants to watch YOUR shows, always wants to play and spend time with you, and typically as far as he or she is concerned, YOU are the sun that his or her little planet revolves around. You will never hear your dog tell you you’re inadequate, not good enough, not present enough, not this or that enough, or anything else. You know what this was gonna be a rant on the fact that Crazy Legs (Teddy) is forever chasing the cat and making his life hell, and Sir Farts A lot has the singularly most lethal ability to gas ANYONE out of any room, but the truth is, Teddy’s self perception that only he matters and god help you if you get between him and his cookie, and Freeway’s noxious farts, really don’t matter, because when the shit hits the fan, typically, they are the ones that are there to help me sort through the fall out. This Thanksgiving was really going to be just one more shitty holiday, especially given all of the upheaval in my life in the last 36 months, but the truth I have lots to be thankful for, farts notwithstanding. I’m getting my health back, which means I can get back to my dojo, and to running and in general back to my life; I have my grandparents who I love more than anything else on the planet, and they are relatively healthy given they are 85 and 95 respectively; my businesses are starting to pick up; I’m writing a new manuscript; I’ve started this blog; and, I’m planning on getting certified in a few more things having to do with my tech services business. Things can always be better, buy really in the big scheme of things I guess they aren’t really all that bad right now… 🙂
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