New Year, Same Me

JoLeave a comment

A leopard can’t change its spots. We can adjust our attitudes, study harder, say we’re going to go to the gym more often and get as much plastic surgery as we can afford. The truth still stands – can we really change ourselves?

It’s a couple of weeks into 2015. Each year I make new resolutions going somewhere along the lines of, exercise more, spend more time with my grandparents, think positively. These go up and down in success and are often non-existent, regrettably. No day is the same. C’est la vie!

I have had a fabulous year. I started 2014 playing board games (badly) with my family and boyfriend. I passed my second year and first 100 day placement of my social work degree. I passed my driving test! More precious moments: London aquarium and London dungeons with my little sister, seeing comedian Ed Byrne live, dressing up for charity with uni friends, first holiday with the boyfriend, sending my sister off to prom and crying as I watched her perform with her beautiful singing voice at shows and concerts, nights out with friends, days out with family, theatre dates, the list goes on. 2014 hasn’t been so bad!

So, what are my New Year resolutions for 2015?

  • Get more exercise (boring!) I drive everywhere now instead of my long walks. I want to be healthy on the inside in 30 years’ time and as well as eating clean, we should be keeping our bodies and mind fit with all those endorphins we can produce.
  • Stay in touch! I am lucky to have a handful of amazing friends, wherever in the country (or world) they may live. Long distance between us feels difficult sometimes but with phones, email and skype I should make more effort. This counts for relatives too.
  • Get a job. I graduate this year so now is the time to start those long application forms and fast!Friendship

What else to do this year?

  • I need to travel more. Even if I don’t end up going anywhere new this year I want to save up and plan some trips around Europe with my friends.
  • Volunteer more. Being part of the church community I have volunteered for years but there are so many projects and organisations I have no experience in – like helping in soup kitchens. You can never give enough to others.
  • Watch as many Disney films and rom coms on my other half’s Netflix as is possible (just for laughs)
  • Read more!

 

These are all absolutely achievable and realistic points above and I plan to meet them all. Every day we are faced with challenges but maybe our biggest challenge is our own motivation and drive to make the most of our experiences this year. What do you want to achieve?

New Year, Same Me

What does Christmas mean to you?

Jo3 Comments

I asked this question to a number of my friends and family, to find out their experiences of this festive holiday period. These are their responses:

“Christmas time, mistletoe and wine” People coming together – Eleanor

santa hat

“I usually spend Christmas at home with family watching Christmas movies in my PJs”– Ani

“For me obviously the birth of Jesus is very important but it’s also good to spend time with the family and seeing my friends” – Martin

“O come, o come Emmanuel and ransom captive Israel” – Joel

“Showing the people you love that you appreciate them and giving back to the community” – Tracey

“Christmas for me is about spending time with family. We love to drink and there’s always a lot of alcohol, music and eastenders. I think Christmas is a time to be spent with loved ones, friends and family. I celebrate it as a Christian holiday but do believe anyone can celebrate the holidays with the ones they love, Christian or not.” – Kay Kay

carrot

“Putting out mince pies and carrots by the fireplace  for our magical guests- and lots of carol singing!” – Vanessa

“The whole point of Christmas is to celebrate Christ’s birth. Without it, it is meaningless.” – Nathan

“Soup kitchens, taking care of those who need a little bit of love and hope at Christmas time” – Amy

“Spending time with loved ones, focusing on what’s important, away from the business of life.” – Sarah

“Remembering those who we have lost” – Elliot

marttyui

“I love decorating the Christmas tree with the children, we make new decorations each year”- Julie

“It’s keeping the peace time for me. A time to remember why I love my family and to be at home.” – Irene

“What I’ve always loved about Christmas is Christmas eve. Singing carols at the carols by candlelight service. Eating a beef casserole and watching a classic Xmas movie like it’s a wonderful life or scrooge. Setting up Santa’s mince pie by the fireplace. Then when the children had finally gone to sleep creep around filling up stocking and sacks with the hidden presents. Then finally before going to bed having a night cap of whiskey.

I miss this now my girls have grown up but I like wrapping up presents and surprising my family with special gifts.” Kim

“Stockings!” – Andy

“Organising the children’s nativity!” – Millie

“The work up to Christmas, Christingle services and advent candles!” – Danni

christingle2

“Christmas means an excuse for everyone to be crammed in a room together, hectic and craziness, but all past problems are set aside. You send cards across the country, across the world, but getting one back is more exciting. It is the idea of being thought about.

And then there are all the different Church services all reminiscing the same night, yet in their own unique ways of expression. Christmas is the chance to prove you’ve been listening all year or give something random. Giving back to someone after all they may have done it the past. An expression of unconditional love. Family is family for life.”  Louise

A big thank you to everyone who contributed & I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

What does Christmas mean to you?

Stuck in a wheel

JoLeave a comment

Jo's avatarsilhouette scribbles

hammyYour life is like a hamster wheel,
Turning around and around,
You can’t change direction, you can’t turn back,
Guidance is nowhere to be found,

Onwards you keep running,
You can’t slow down the pace,
But with all of this pressure
You doubt you’ll win the race,

You don’t know where your hope’s gone,
bunroutYou can’t help feeling sad,
The tiredness is overwhelming
And you’re concerned you’re turning mad,

As around and around you go,
Lights flashing in your face,
You can’t see the darkness coming
Through this back-breaking hell craze,

You just want to stop and think,
Take a break and sit down,
But your feet are running far too fast
And you fear you’re going to drown,

You’ll choke with exhaustion,
Be swallowed up, be a burnt out candle-wick,
Actually you’re feeling some stress and
Should take a day off sick,

If people judge you, let them,
No…

View original post 76 more words

Stuck in a wheel

What’s in a woman’s handbag?

Jo, , , , 4 Comments

I’m not one of those laid back females who can leave the house with my phone and keys in my pocket and puppets
nothing else. A small bag is always necessary to hold the important contents which assist you through your day.

For all those guys wondering what I carry around all day, I have emptied my bag and even surprised myself! Here goes:

1) Work diary. We all have calendars on our phones but there is nothing like one you can scribble in, highlight key events and tip ex out plans if necessary

2) Keys – that goes without saying – abundant with key rings

3) Purse and a ton of receipts

4) Body spray

5) Travel tissues for those sudden sneezes

6) Wet wipes when working with children with sticky hands

7) Hair brush and emergency hair clips

8) IPhone and work blackberry, earphones

9) I always have a pen on me, but I’ve realised I’m still carrying around the pencil case stuffed with felt tips and finger puppets from visiting a school the other day

10) Medication. Always carry painkillers!

11) Vaseline lip balm

12) Umbrella

13) Emergency bar of chocolate tissues

14) Lady supplies

15) Chewing gum

16) Compact mirror

17) Glasses

18) Antibacterial hand gel, obviously

19) Note book and USB stick

20) Poppy from Armistice day

There you go. So that wasn’t very exciting but solves the mystery for you blokes. These are all the objects that I would not leave my house without! Doesn’t it suck that we don’t have bigger pockets?

What’s in a woman’s handbag?

Power Dynamics

Jo, , , , , , 3 Comments

In many jobs, professional leadership is key to developing your skills and supporting others to grow on your team. Before becoming a Teaching Assistant or Student Social Worker, I was concerned that I would not be assertive enough or brave enough to challenge another person. I felt like if I tried to ‘be the boss’ then I would appear silly and patronising. This is not the case.

Social Care/Support Work
Social Care/Support Work
I have learnt that I can be assertive and act suddenly in a crisis, giving instructions clearly and appropriately. I do and have challenged my clients when I believe they have said or done something that was inappropriate, if a boundary has been crossed or if there is evidence someone has been dishonest. My challenges were always accepted by the client and my honesty and bluntness was usually appreciated.

SWVOICEAs a student social worker, one of the domains we must show evidence of accomplishing in our professional capabilities framework, is to be aware of the power invested in our role. This is a point I am recognising because although we do not have the power to do many things (which the public may or may not understand), we are still voices with knowledge of legislation and relevant policies who can work with vulnerable people or people struggling in society, and we can be advocates for them and be listened to.

That’s what I do during the day (and study the rest of the time). However, I also work for a catering company where I cater and silver-service waitress during some evenings and weekends for weddings and other important functions. Although tiring, it is refreshing to do some practical work and is completely opposite to what I do during the day.

silverserviceWaitressing is quite a reverse of roles. In Social Care Work I am the role with information, the contacts, the answers. This is respected, protected and my work is backed up with policies. As a waitress I am really there, literally, to serve. I am usually shouted orders by my boss (not always politely), patronised and humiliated in the kitchen if I don’t complete a task by their standards and I still stay standing there because I really need the money.

The problem is, as this is a reverse of roles, I am at the bottom of this hierarchy in the kitchen and it is very interesting to see things from the other direction. Work gets extremely hot and stressful in the kitchens and we need to be on our feet keeping busy at all times.
NAPKIN
From doing this work I now really appreciate more practical hands-on jobs that millions of workers battle through every day. They may not be the head chef or be in a role that is respected, but the kitchen could not run without them and the guests would not be served. Earning money is what it is at the end of the day and falling into bed at the end of it to grab a few hours’ sleep before the alarm clock rings again, is bliss.

Power Dynamics

Living with Long Distance

Jo, , , 6 Comments

While at uni I miss my family, friends and of course, my boyfriend so much. I’m not going to use this blog to moan about long distance because no one wants to read that and it was my choice to live a few hours away from home. Instead, I’m going to think up 15 reasons how I could explain long distance relationships can be positive relationships. Maybe we could learn to love this distance.

ldr

 1) Number one obviously would be my education and training. I’m paying something like £9000 a year to study social work and I want to do this well. I suppose a good thing with distance is that there are less distractions without my boyfriend or family around so that I can just focus on my work while I’m here.

 2) When we do find that gap of time when both of us aren’t at work, that phone or skype call is precious and we probably pay each other more attention and value that time more than we would if we were face to face, seeing each other all the time.

 3) Being in a long distance relationship definitely demonstrates our commitment to each other. Arguably 3-4 hours isn’t that far but when we both work during the week and at weekends, there is little chance of us seeing each other at the moment. Surviving this relationship with a couple of texts and phone calls a day, and trusting each other when we go out for nights out, is promising for our relationship’s reliability.

 4) Having more ‘me’ time. This ‘me’ time might just be half an hour before bed of rubbish TV, nail painting, hair straightening or reading fiction, but that time to be you is so important to relax that you might not have a chance to do if he’s about.

 5) Because I miss that night-time hug, that phone call before bed is so precious and I usually try to stay awake to speak to him if he is working a late night shift.

 6) …But I have the bed to myself! Although I love him, if he is to crash around mine after watching a movie he snores like a dragon with a head cold! Snuggling is special but everyone likes to stretch out in bed by themselves sometimes (sorry!)

 7) Long distance gives me the chance to practice recipes I want to cook for him. I love being in the kitchen, well I’m a woman (sexist joke, I know). However, I do sometimes whip dishes up that go horribly wrong. He still eats them which must prove how much he loves me – but I am a perfectionist!

 8) Another good thing is that because we don’t live together, we don’t have silly arguments about toothpaste and toilet roll which a lot of other couples seem to have.

 9) My boyfriend jokes about me being a control-freak planner. I genuinely plan what I’m wearing months in advance. At Easter, I’m planning my summer and by September, I’ve planned Christmas. This is actually great for LDR because this way I can stick in my diary (and make him stick in his), dates when we are both available in coming weeks and plan special things to do together like meeting in London or dinner with one of our parent’s or celebrating the birthday of mutual friends. This way we are both in the bubble and have things to look forward to which we can both be a part of.

 10) ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder.’ Ah, lovely! When we do see each other I smile like crazy and wrap around him like a monkey and don’t want to let him go (he will be cringing when he reads this but it’s true!) As much as we sometimes irritate the life out of each other, when we’re together we try to make the most of that time before we need to part again.

 11) There are always those unfortunate relationships when you wonder if your partner is just using you for your body. With long distance, this of course is not the case. You need to work on your friendship as well as romance and everything else.

 12) Someone once told me that in their long distance relationship, every time they saw their partner it felt more like a mini-holiday because they were visiting places together and doing something special. I thought that was a beautiful way to see it.

 13) We all have those friends who forget you exist when they have a new man or woman in their life. Long distance relationships give you the chance to make sure we see our friends more.

 14) In this type of relationship, you have to be independent. I can’t rely on him all of the time because we are both busy and I can’t just drive down the road to see him when I’ve had a rubbish day and need a cuddle. It has taught me to be stronger than I’ve ever been and start to embrace my own individuality and identity.

15) Finally, with the technology of today – whatsapp and snapchat – I can sometimes trick my mind into believing that he’s not that far away at all because of all those stupid pictures we send each other.

ldr2

Living with Long Distance

Cara

Jo, , , , , , 5 Comments

(Yay!)
(Yay!)
Well it’s taken three years but I can officially announce that I have now passed my practical driving exam and have been menacing the roads with my little Cara, legally without L plates, ever since.

It’s crazy to state that driving a manual car isn’t actually very difficult, but then why does it tear our nerves to shreds when we have to sit behind a wheel and be assessed by an examiner with a clipboard? I hate being watched and I found this process so terrifying that I was usually shaking before I got into the car and made mistakes before I’d even started the engine.

After all this practice, all those hours I’d paid for, having to retake my theory exam because it had expired, booking intensive driving courses to boost my confidence, finding the money, the time and the location for another driving test and buying my first car (green Trudy) to practice in everywhere… I am now happy, calmly and confidently driving my second car, much more confidently than I have ever driven with someone else sitting next to me commenting.

My first little car
My first little car

Already I am feeling the benefits of driving. Where I am studying my social work degree, although it’s small and with lots of support, it is quite rural in places and takes ages to walk anywhere. How lovely it is to travel somewhere and arrive not soaking wet from the mist and rain but warm and dry, with warm and dry feet from not having to trudge through fields to get to lectures. How beautiful it is to cut down a 45 minute walk to a ten minute drive.

Driving will make my work more doable as I need to travel up and down the county (and beyond) to attend and chair meetings, perform home visits and check on the welfare of children. I will be able to transport clients and, on a personal level, drive home at weekends to see my family who I miss so much during the week.

I am really, clearly, quite happy right now!

(If you are currently learning to drive, don’t give up! And book your test for first thing in the morning so there’s less time to stress about it!)

Cara

Pennies & Pounds

Jo, , , , , , 5 Comments

dory

Why is it that the less money we have, the more we seem to want to spend? I’m living on a crazily strict budget at the moment and am barely out of my student overdraft, yet there always seems to be more to buy for. It’s someone’s birthday or I need another textbook or more medicine or its takeaway night or time for some early Christmas shopping…

Sometimes we just have to say ‘no’ and think about what we’re working towards.
I’m starting my final social work placement this week and am quite nervous – but very excited. It will be a tough year (tough career) I’m sure, but I am really looking forward to meeting the rest of my team and learning about my new responsibilities and putting more theory into practice.

In the evenings I will be waitressing and hopefully starting my support worker job at the weekends too so things will be very busy and money will be dripping in, though I’m sure it will flood away very quickly with house bills to pay, travel money to work and Christmas flying up soon.

I think one of my problems is that I just love to treat the people I care about and I know that I shouldn’t spend money I don’t have but I have decided to really put things in priority, but be sensible about it!

Last year my social life was a minimum because I lived and breathed placement and essays and assessed debates. While I only have a few months left of this course, which I’m sure will whiz by, I really do need to focus on my goal of getting this degree I’ve been working so hard for, becoming a qualified social worker. Then it’s the ASYE year to become an approved social worker. Then my life begins.

moneyI think what I’m trying to reflect on here is that while we don’t have much money, there is still so much to be thankful for. I’ve been given this amazing opportunity to study what I love and I might not have much in my purse but there are things we have that money cannot buy. I should be more disciplined with myself but I’ve learned that the odd night out or night avoiding studying shouldn’t be viewed as a treat or perk, but a necessity to keep our minds balanced and strong and prevent burn-out.

So I might feel like I’m struggling financially to pay my way but it is my goal which should keep me working, but also celebrating this journey as I live it.


‘No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.’ Matthew 6:24

‘Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Pennies & Pounds

Defeating the Cold

Jo, , , 2 Comments

workIt’s been a long week filled with uni and nursery observations, and lots of studying in between! I find it quite draining to keep going when I’m feeling ill, though it is only a cold.

‘Just a cold!’ This is such a short but frequently used statement that really belittles the suffering people go through when they have headaches, their minds feel like cotton wool, their ears are ringing, they have blocked sinuses, a runny nose and a sore throat that feels raw. It’s dire!

I hate soup but it often presents itself as a very appealing option for breakfast, lunch and dinner when I have a cold. My fridge also gets full of oranges very fast.

I either feel too fidgety and too uncomfortable to sleep or I feel could sleep like there’s no tomorrow (which is a strange expression because if tomorrow were the end of the world then I certainly wouldn’t be spending today with my eyes shut).

cWhile the cold is common, especially this time of year when England is getting colder, more miserable and the freshers have turned up at uni, we do just have to plod on. Unfortunately, the winter months are usually spent with me relying on hot lemsip drinks and throat lozenges to get me through the dark days.

But what can we focus on to make us feel better?

First port of call is always the ibuprofen. I usually turn away from painkillers and just try to deal with the problem through herbal remedies but when you have many hours left in the day and you just can’t concentrate, swallow them down, close your eyes for five minutes and power on!

Doctors and pharmacists have told me that things like lemsip should actually be avoided. If you’re feeling all clogged up and need something to shift that mucus, go to your chemist and speak to them. They will offer you something that is sure to make a difference to how you’re feeling. There’s always good old fashioned honey and lemon water.
honey-and-lemon
Drink lots and lots of water. This will help with your mucus and replace any fluids you have already lost. Hopefully, water will also help move the virus through your body and out. You could also put salt in your water. Don’t drink this of course, but give it a good gargle to help your sore mouth and throat.

Vapour rub works wonders and what is even better is stirring some of this into a bowl of hot water and leaning over it, covering your head with a towel. You will feel bloody hot but this should really aid towards clearing you up. Hot showers are also great, and great for your skin too. Just make sure you wrap up warmly quickly afterwards so that you won’t catch a further chill!
rub
Get some rest. (Insane option, I know.) Last year I did not take one day off from uni or my social work placement. This was possibly why I was coughing my guts up and passing my illness around for most of the year. It is important and actually responsible to see reason and tell yourself that you are allowed to take a couple of sick days – to not work from home but to stay in bed and take care of yourself, with lots of soup, hot peppermint tea and vitamin C. I find that sleeping on extra pillows helps to clear my nasal passages and stops me from feeling so stiff too.

Aloe_Vera_Antibacterial_Hand_GelAnd if you really have to go into work, carry this little beauty with you to prevent you from spreading germs to the rest of your team.. and have an early night with some zinc and Echinacea!

Feel better soon 🙂

Defeating the Cold

Letter to a historical figure

Jo, , , , 2 Comments

anne#5 of Jenny in Neverland’s writing challenge is write a letter to a historical figure.
Follow Jenny at http://jennyinneverland.wordpress.com/

Dear Anne Boleyn,

I pray that where you are now, you are peaceful and with your lost children. I have read that you were not popular with the people of England because of what happened with Catherine of Aragon but King Henry did love you and his love for you was true.

I know you did not live to watch your daughter grow up but Elizabeth was a brilliant Queen and demonstrated great respect towards her father and in your memory.

Queen Elizabeth was known as a fiercely loyal, intelligent, talented and independent lady and set our country back to the Church of England which is the religion I myself follow.

I think that Elizabeth lived with a lot of your qualities and your courage and determination for success has been something which I have remembered since I learnt about you when I was at school.

Yours faithfully,
Jody x

Letter to a historical figure