Viladev

Half full

Half empty

2 sides of the coin

It’s a gain

Or a loss

Of experiences

And the time

She is a pretty face

But without a name

or a voice

Always be alone on her own

I come back to you again

Not a man

But blank white paper

No one is as good as you

These days, I am not doing well

or so I thought

My mind is easily distracted

I can’t accomplish my tasks

My emotion is not in control

I cried at random times

I miss home

but I do not know way to go back home

I am feeling lost

and tired and hungry and angry

and sad and worry

and I do not know

it is the same old story

and you are frozen in times

repeating the pattern

until when?

You asked me when I will go back

You said you miss me, it is sad

Warmth of my hugs that missing from your day

I do not even aware

You do not even remember how my name spelt

I wear out

little by little

every time the clock ticks,

I don’t know until when

I could hold on

gotta be strong

gotta be strong again

but then

I walked in the circle

No help for grown up

…….

and so

I am gone

Been through these 6 months

Being patient

But I don’t see any signs

Running time

Priceless memories

Playing back

Wake up

Why am I still dealing with this ghost?

So I’ve been gone lately

Disappeared for more than weeks

I think even more than a year

Laughs and tears

Been running and jumping

Dating and dancing

Tasted life and tried so many new things

To pack your bag and just go traveling

To smile and sing

To feel the wind

And trust your gut

I am glad to have nothing to do

In the morning, all the time for me

No obligation, no interaction

Just nature and my imagination

 

He learned the language just so he can understand me better

He showed me the fantastic scenery just so I know how beautiful the world is

He celebrates my birthday every year just so I remember the day I was born is special no matter how old I am

And voice inside my head is asking

Is this love?

I wish you know how I felt that day
Face full of tears
Crying without reason
Feeling broken
My room was dark
All windows were closed
Eyes were staring to the empty space
My mind was wandering
My soul was searching
My body was freezing
I didn’t feel alive
But now, now I feel better
So much better
My heart is full of gratitude
I think I grow a little bit
From the pain, I felt in the past