Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

10
Aug
25

(Never) The End…of Writingbolt’s Creation

***

I am barely able to type words right now.  I may have lost everything I’ve ever called my own, everything I’ve invested in and spent time creating outside this laptop.  My home was flooded last night.  I tried to save what I could and couldn’t take anything but a few items with me that I could carry, because rescue crews were no help.  My family was no help.  I barely escaped a crumbling basement alive, and my family was still telling me what I was doing wrong instead of being helpful or supportive.

I have no art supplies.  No art history.  No guitars I was saving for a time I could play with someone I loved.  I have no love.  No friends who reach out to me with help.  Just a bunch of people telling me what I SHOULD do with my life.  My stories in notebooks…may be lost.  My artworks….may be lost.

The water was coming in so fast.  It’s still raining and will rain for 3 days more.  I watched a nightmare crumble around me and tried to photograph what I could with a crappy digital camera….for what?  For a family that has so little understanding and tolerance of me as I am?

I just found out a pen pal from Germany, a rare online friend, just died from chemo, from losing that fight so many lose when steered down a path they can’t change because no one is on there side.  She had no one.  I have no one that makes me feel good about anything.  My family is a hot mess.  I am a bigger hot mess.

I am lucky to be typing these words.  They may be the last you ever read, whoever finds this.

05
Jun
25

Going Bankrupt Isn’t All Bad!

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Going bankrupt isn’t bad!…at least, not all of the time. Sometimes, it’s good people who are up to no good run out of funds and have to face some kind of punishment. Even if you’re a rich man who makes a business out of one type of car before getting arrested for drug smuggling, a slap on the wrist is better than no punishment, at all.

But, look at the guy who started Atari (Nolan Bushnell) and then went on to start…Chuck E. Cheese restaurants?

Atari went bust supposedly by licensing its technology to an open marketplace which allowed all sorts of game makers to craft cartridges you could play on systems like your Atari 2600, the home-entertainment gem of my youth. The design of an Atari 2600 game cartridge is as iconic and pleasing as the old audio cassette tape made famous in the 1980s. It’s appearance has pleasure. You can enjoy an Atari game without even playing it! Compare that with all of the games that came after the NES…or maybe the SNES, the last shred of creative cartridge design. With the exception of maybe rare gems like the original Legend of Zelda, which came as a golden cartridge and with an AMAZING game manual, a foreign concept to today’s generation, there were few 1990s games that had that 1980s appeal.

In a way, Atari made gaming feel like a boombox and a mixed tape you make for your best friend or lover. The 1980s introduced a way for people to craft a symphony from their own home and put it in a valentine. Atari gave dreamers of coding a chance to create games they could play on systems other people invented.

Strangely, it is said Nintendo and Sega learned from this mistake by making very exclusive game systems that, for the past few decades, have made players chase down alternate versions, alternate disks, game cards, etc., to play the same game on different systems. Well, as far as I recall, Atari has the same gimmick. They had a few different systems which accepted games only for those systems; though the games came in packaging that was easily confused for another system’s games (to the blind eye of a shopper buying a game for some friend of your child).

“What do you mean it doesn’t work on his game system? I got the right game. There’s a 3600 and a 2600?”

Shopping constantly for games that work on newly released systems is a futile and frustrating endeavor. It’s taxing in so many ways. And, the games, like I just said, don’t have the same tactile appeal. Oh, sure, you’ve improved graphics so the home game is closer to the arcade than it was when arcades were still a great place to spend an afternoon or evening! [Congrats. It only took you 30 years to kill the arcades the way video killed the radio stars.]

But, go back to that Atari story. The guy who starts the Atari boom and creates a memorable game design system open to countless game designers (including some questionable adult games that are like the Lost Ark Indiana Jones seeks in his movie debut) goes bust and starts an equally memorable restaurant franchise. Talk about a life path paved in gold; maybe not the most lucrative financial plan but a very iconic and memorable one.

Imagine designing your own game for a system like the Nintendo Switch instead of shopping online for a “digital copy” of something you’ll never hold, never have a physical manual to read and draw from when you want to turn a Moblin or Octorok into a poster (and you don’t have a means of grabbing an image from the internet which will need to be printed on decent paper if you don’t want to burn up your electronic device). Now, a Nintendo Switch game, even in its physical form, is like a Tic Tac compared to a waffle. I can find tactile pleasure in a waffle. A Tic Tac is a novel little flavored peg…but it has little tactile and memorable pleasure. I’d say it’s as pleasing as so many kinds of gum that lose their flavor too soon. But, imagine being given the liberty to make a game and play it on the Switch. It may slowly deplete the profits of the system’s makers…but it vastly improves the popularity and joy of the system, itself. Don’t you agree?

So, my point is not making a huge profit and even going bust isn’t all bad. It can come with a very pleasing, enduring side effect.

I’d like to extend my gratitude in this virtual space and hope it reaches those who care and matter. You, makers of the Atari age of home and arcade gaming, the vital force of my youth, are in your own special way responsible for my existence. I am, in part, as creative as I am because of your primitive yet aesthetically pleasing efforts. You are a timeless inspiration to creating something that is potentially insubstantial, lacking in profits, in an ever-changing marketplace; yet that same creation retains inexplicable value to the eyes, touch and soul. I may never look at another game the same after being a part of your creation. Thank you. And, I hope your bankruptcy still bears good fruit for you, as well. [I’m sure it does.]

I’m sorry my family and few friends didn’t have more money to afford me more games before you (Atari) were gone…well, no longer the 2600 company I came to admire. I’m sorry I had to sell my own $200 investment in your genius for a mere $50 at a rummage sale, sold to a kid whose mom was buying him a waterbed the same day. My collection was in mint condition, unlike so many I found at other rummage sales, which usually had filthy games with damaged labels and no boxes or manuals. I took care of my Atari 2600 because the first one my family got me blew up the first night we played it. And, that $50 barely afforded me one NES game; it was one of the hardest losses and lessons of my life. I wouldn’t have survived the few sleepovers I had as a kid without you (and the NES for one of those sleepovers).

The generations and game companies that followed the 1980s…just don’t understand. They’re all about the business and disposable merchandise, about theme parks with swag you enjoy for a minute and then add to a discard pile because more keeps coming from some sweat shop, I imagine. But, your era, my childhood…it was something special. As “merch’d” as the 1980s was…and, boy, was there “merch”…it had a lot of memorable moments and shapes, too. It’s the shapes of some of that “merch” that retain value, not the technology or how fast it did something for you.

I don’t think there’s much of anything that came out of the 1990s or 2000s that’s as precious as half the swag that came from the 1980s…which is probably why the generations that followed mine seem to have lost that respect for what is still good even if it’s not new. Even my nephews already call something old if it’s been around nine months. Nine months makes something antique! Instant insanity. It “Rubiks” my cube.

Heck. A lot of the 1980s stuff we experienced could be considered adult baby or “fidget” toys. Places like Spencer’s Gifts had some of that “fidget” stuff before it was a thing. I remember all the early “stress” toys. But, there were other things that weren’t considered therapy items that WERE therapy items…and some became obsessions, which kind of counters the therapy aspect. Yet…mmh! I just can’t get too mad at any of it, because so many things from the 1980s were like security blankets and stuffed animals. I could sleep in a bed made of Atari 2600 game cartridges and feel instantly like a kid at summer camp, dreaming of video-game conventions I only wished I could attend.

Priceless memories from, among other things, a company that lost money from being open to other artists who could use the same technology and programming to make their own games…sort of like the modern Roblox my nephews still obsess about. [Yet, there’s nothing tactile and not much aesthetically pleasing about the very Lego Roblox, not the way Atari was.]

Hmm. Food for thought.  And, like the phoenix on top of this post, I shall rise from the ashes!…whatever those may be.  Just as Bushnell rose from the landfill holding all of those poor ET game cartridges.

05
Jun
25

Joke of the Day: My DUI

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I just realized I had a DUI back in 2014…

…As in Dial-Up Internet. [Yea, I’m a slow fossil.]

And, Gmail, did I Paypal for that major AOL.

I Kickstarter’d that MySpace to the curb like Rotten Tomatoes and said, “Ya-HOO-ooh-ooh! You’ve got to GoDaddy.”

[Considering how crappy dial-up became by 2014, I honestly think it should have been free, all of the time, for everyone, and not just a bunch of “free trials” that led to unhelpful, costly service. It could be the broadcast TV of the internet…if it was still even remotely tolerable. Does anyone still use dial-up? Remember the cyber-cafes of the early 2000s? I met quite a few cute Asian gals through those. Ah. Memories.]

22
May
25

Milking the Movies; Sequels That Should Just Die

****

Coming soon to theaters…

Jurassic Park 17, featuring…who have we got lined up for this one? I dunno. I forget. We’ve done so many. What’s the plot, this time? I don’t know that, either. It’s scary and thrilling, as always. It’s dinosaurs on the loose! They’re savage and they came from a lab where humans keep making the same mistakes with genetics! It’s science!
Now, get out there and sell it every way you can. Get P and G on it. Every movie must be sponsored by Tide detergent, now.

PUKE CITY!

When a movie franchise is reduced to just casting some new face that hasn’t been in one…maybe because now every celebrity wants part of the action/thriller genre…it’s just asking people to stay home and give up on movies.

Honestly, Scarlett J. What is so special about your new movie? The dinosaur one. Yeah. That. No, the first one you did. Wait, you’re booked for more than one? Oy.

[Unlike the image I’ve attached to this post… I wouldn’t mind working on a Dick Tracy (1990) sequel.]

22
May
25

Good Music Is Doomed to Drug Ads?

***

We have to stop the drug ads, especially the ones with familiar songs turned into craptacular jingles. If we don’t stop them, all good music is going to be eliminated from our minds, from our pleasure centers. We will cease to know good vibes if we let drug companies turn our treasured songs into pitch trash.

There. I said it. Now, get on with your lives, like the actors in those commercials, people who are definitely not taking pills.

‘Stupid drug ads. Go take your own damn pill and disappear.

16
May
25

The $100,000 Tropical Vacation Game Show

***

Do you love game shows as much as I do? I can’t get enough of the $100,000 Pyramid, the latest celebrity version. Do you want to know why? I’m telling you, anyway. It’s because it’s a $100,000 pyramid scheme. Every game they ask the “civilian” what they would do if they won “the big money.”

Now, first, I think the celebrities want to laugh just at that concept, the big money. $100,000 isn’t exactly big money to them, usually, not unless they’re looking haggard and haven’t had a paying gig in a while. Even then, I wonder.

Then there’s the big disappointment that follows asking the big question. I’m sure a few people actually win $100,000. But, the majority I’ve seen, who don’t win, go away with what I can only imagine is a fractured dream. You ask them what they will do. They say they want to open a new club or restaurant or get a beach house. And, instead of giving them hope, you offer them a trip to Mexico or Antigua.

So, you might as well say, “We can’t give you real estate or rental property, but we can give you an over-priced tropical vacation for a few weeks. If you want to blow $100,000 south of the USA border, we can cover that. But, if you want to start a new business, go to Shark Tank.”

16
May
25

Can We Ban Bad News on Holidays?

***

I understand “news happens daily” and that there are “things you need to know.” But, does that include reports of crime, murder and other violence…on a holiday?

Well, to be fair, if you’re watching the local or international news on a holiday, something is probably wrong, anyway. I mean…why would you?

Who am I to judge? Some people like their news the same way some people like their coffee or soda…daily…maybe even more than one time each day. That’s not me, though. I would rather go without it, most of the time, because it just upsets or rattles me. Hearing about every crime or damaged property in town isn’t exactly helpful news. I’ve said it once and will say it, again; that sort of reporting is for private communication and police reports. If you need to get in on police action, I think there are radios for that. If you are involved in a crime or disaster, do you want it plastered all over every TV screen and network? I wouldn’t…most likely. Give me a case when it’s a good idea to be a disaster or victim on TV.

I know some people who will watch the news any day on TV and come away from that with a head and heart full of discontent and/or grief. Who needs that? And, who needs those viewers to pass on that unpleasant feeling? Not me. Don’t throw your anger and tears at me, after you wasted your time absorbing all the bad news. That’s just…foul.

Now, to consider the above on a holiday…you might as well cancel every party and not sell any supplies or food. My stomach is already turning for the next holiday. It could be weeks or months away. But, if I’m going to turn on the TV and see bad news or hear about it, second hand, screw you self-proclaiming news networks. You’re sick in more ways than one. You’re puppets in a warped system. You’re bleached smiles are more unwelcome than a snarling guard dog who doesn’t know when to be quiet. You sicken me. And, every time you feel the need to fill a commercial break with one of your “this is me, part of the local news team” ads with some corny song, I’m just going to like you a little less. So, you’d better hope I DON’T watch you as regularly as you advertise or hope.

On that note, if there is ANYONE who actually longs to meet their local news reporting team after being exposed to daily disaster and tragedy, those people are also very warped…or oblivious…or both. Yes; let’s kiss the hands and ask for autographs from people pressed to pour out daily tragedy and misfortune. Even certain meteorologists get on my nerves with how they deliver bad weather with a smile…as if they get a little sick pleasure out of telling you roads will be a hazard tomorrow.

I vote no news–other than weather reports, methods of transportation, possible public activities to join and discount offers–on holidays. The world will be just fine without you…I’m pretty sure.

Mic drop.

Picking the microphone back up, once more.

Oh. And, no horror movies/stories on holidays, either…except, maybe, Halloween. You want frights and gore? Go find a secluded space you can enjoy your sick interest. I don’t need to turn on the TV for enjoyment and find some twisted nightmare during my holidays. Flipping channels on a holiday, just to find crime stories, “shocking news reports” and horror movies…is enough to make any lonely or stuck-at-home person want to do something very unpleasant. And then you hit those people with anti-depressant and other drug ads (not to mention other unrelated ads which are equally distressing and/or unsettling). That is a crime so foul that I cannot adequately put it into words. I just want to go on a TV-smashing rampage…and then go trash some drug labs.

Can you fashion a drug that helps YOU deal with my rage when I unleash it upon your sick skulls? Good luck with that. [Actually, I’d probably just destroy your equipment and only leave you with a headache bad enough to make you regret your life choices.] I’m not ill. YOU are.

Mic drop.

02
May
25

When Did Tacos Become a Snack?

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I’m not someone who grew up regularly eating tacos with family.

My first experience with tacos might have been from a Taco Bell when I was roughly nine or ten years old. Taco Bell was relatively new in my area, and my family, who you may say has perpetually been pinching pennies when they aren’t being reckless with money, felt they could afford something new and “Mexican.” We called it dinner. We had tacos, and I think I ordered the “taco pizza.” And, we called that dinner.

Yet, if you look at the average crossword puzzles I’ve been solving, tacos always fall under “Mexican snack” or some variation of that clue, often using a name or word I’m supposed to recognize as “from South America, as if that’s supposed to be enough to shout, “It’s TACOS, you idiot!”

When did tacos become A SNACK?

Please fill me in so I may be better educated.

Are there homes, somewhere, where, instead of asking for or making a PB-and-J sandwich after school, they throw together tacos? Do these same households then eat something less portable or bigger for dinner? Are tacos not fit for being considered dinner?

[I cannot say the same for just about any other “snack.” I cannot call popcorn or chips and salsa dinner.]

I’m not entirely sure, but perhaps there is research I could do on the subject. It might be easier than getting a response in this chilly, vacant writing space where visitors and comments are more scarce than that one Pokémon you can only find once in each game. But, if you, reader, happen upon this entry to my blog and have useful information on the concept of tacos as a snack, please share it in the space below. I put this thought out there in the “cyberverse.” ‘Food for thought…or…thought for food?

17
Apr
25

Beware the Game Show Network…Fools

***

Beware the Game Show Network. It is full of fools.

***

Hi. I’m one member of a friend threesome. We have been good friends for numerous years. We have traveled the world and have many favorites we share. You would think our life is bliss. [You might also suspect we are sleeping together…like one brainy threesome with no standard other than similar levels of intelligence.] But, we cannot resist being part of a game show that is sure to make us look stupid. Even if we fail to win anything, we go home just as perfect as we were before we arrived on TV. Enjoy watching us waste your time and remember how perfect our life is while your life is not.

***

Listen. I, too, am part of a trio of friends who has to give ourselves a witty group name before competing against another team in one of the many, many trivia game shows that, if watched together, will likely drive your already mashed potato brain completely mad. We each have a lame story to justify our life’s purpose and intelligence. The least attractive of my group stands at the far end, with her back turned to the cameras, ensuring she will get the least TV exposure.

Anyone at home could tell this was done on purpose. But, we just went along with it because we all wanted to prove we were smart. Everyone watching game shows wants to prove they are just as smart. You sit at home, seeing what people are doing to win prize money, and you say, “I can do that!” Right?

We play a game similar to Password, trying to get our teammates to guess words given to us on a screen. We are failing miserably, but the youthful host is determined to make us feel good about ourselves. The show ends somewhat abruptly, and we go home feeling dumber and physically exhausted, which seem strange for a show that’s supposed to be a verbal and mental challenge.

***

I buckle under pressure, too; which is why it seems stupid for me to be part of a game show that intentionally seeks to peg someone as stupid by giving them very little time to solve wacky puzzles on a touch screen. Many of the puzzles are actually rather witty, themselves. So, it’s not all bad being a genuine fool. I think the audience, at home, gets something out of watching.

***

I hosted said game show with visual puzzles that make you think outside the box to avoid me calling you stupid. I exposed my relationship status many times and often flirted with the female guests, even the lesbian ones. Obviously, that did not change my relationship status, because I came back, day after day, with the same story.

I am not a fool because I call myself a FOL. See? I took out one letter to change the spelling of the word. That takes intelligence…I think. Stop staring at my unusually large hands and odd outfit combinations.

[Actually, I think the host was/is rather amusing. And, most of the puzzles are amusing and/or decent tests of observation…not all of the tests, though. So, ‘no offense intended. But, you do place yourself among many other fools. And, damn, those two lesbians were very attractive.]

***

I was on a trivia game show that put three supposedly average people up against three “celebrities,” noted for their televised prowess on other trivia-related game shows. I helped viewers at home sit through an hour of failure laced with little supposed factoids supplied by the know-it-alls. In the final round, when it was just me versus the “expert” with the highest individual score from their group, I missed more than one question and didn’t go home with much.

Later, at home, I watched some other episodes and noticed a pattern. I think the “experts” knew which of them was going to be in the final round and answered accordingly. And, in the final round, I think the final know-it-all also intentionally answered in a way that gave me minimal hope of surviving until the final question, when they politely kicked me out the exit door.

***

I strongly disagree with the above testimony. I was on the same trivia game show and not only defeated the three experts but came back two more times and achieved the same feat to become one of the experts. Earning the right to appear on other trivia-related game shows, I now can speak freely about whatever someone else fails to know as true and annoy countless TV viewers with my big brain and not-so-big mouth. I enjoy dry cereal made of dictionaries and the New York Times. I literally eat books and newspapers. But, I can’t seem to make as much money as the other brainiacs who seem to always be on TV. I guess emulating or trying to compete with someone already deemed famously smart isn’t very smart.

***

I was on a similar trivia game show, with one expert at the top of some flashy mountain just to boost his ego. I was among three people who were all convinced we were very smart by people we know. I guess I let my support system influence me too much; I turned out to be a big dummy, utterly squashed by the big mouth in charge. The lovely hostess tried to make light of the situation but failed. I know now not to be so trusting of others’ opinions about myself, which will probably erode my self-esteem as I get older and dumber.

***

I am the (gorgeous) host of the forementioned trivia game show…well, actually, I hosted a few, and they featured some of the same know-it-alls. On one of my shows, which went on to appear on another channel and feature a variety of experts at the top of the mountain, put on rotation, I was forced to repeatedly address the know-it-all by his nickname. [I don’t host that other version.] I said his nickname so many times; I think my powerful jaws became stuck in perpetual motion. I go home, many nights, just repeating that name to no one. Sometimes, it just pops up in conversation.

It’s a beastly bad habit. I know. But, hey, I’m keeping busier and looking better than I probably did on that old joke about being a lifeguard. And, I didn’t have to radically change my appearance to put that behind me, like some Aquaman I know.

When I’m not bowing down to a British giant, I like to deliver questions to contestants at such an alarming rate, I fear, one day, my head will just fly off into the studio audience anyone rarely sees…because there are not many big winners on the shows I host. It’s a good thing I like to eat and never gain a pound.

[And, I don’t mind that last bit, either. That is one dreamy game-show hostess.]

***

Hey. I was on a dating game show that didn’t last long, probably because it smelled too much like the host’s other famous show, which ran too long for the sleazy crap it was, as did its cheap spin-off. As a contestant, I was required to describe three faults or quirks I have, in a few words, and put each answer in a silly piece of silvery luggage.

The lone woman, who had to pick one of us three guys for a date, not a commitment, just a date (planned by the makers of the show), did not like at least one of my “secrets.” Like many other people in my shoes, I told her I would burn my past and change my ways for her. [You might say it was a bold-faced lie to get the girl.] She seemed remotely pleased by that offer. [I’ll take that as a maybe.]

Unfortunately, my choice of words was more scandalous than accurate. I went home looking and feeling worse than when I arrived. Now, I’m marked for life as the loser I was on TV (thanks to reruns used as filler on a faulty broadcast TV system).

***

Yo. I was on that same dating show, but I was the star who had to put one answer in a single red piece of luggage. I had less chance of being rejected than the other three players in the room. I had a choice of three fine women. Being a rather superficial, immature (though mature in physique, which I pumped and sprayed at the gym) and selfish guy, I quickly eliminated the one gal who was the most nerdy because she freaked me out. Some other artsy loser can pick her up outside the studio; I’m sure. So, that left me with a nutcase and a hooker. I chose the hooker. But, when she saw my “big secret,” she rejected me. I think she misunderstood what I said. ‘Live and learn I guess.

***

Hi. I was a woman on that same dating show and in the previous speaker’s position, with the choice of three possible dates. I quickly rejected the one guy who still valued his mother and lived with his parents, because that’s the standard with this gig. I mean, who accepts an adult man who lives with his parents?

This left me with a scrawny nerd in debt and a hunk who barely fit in a suit. I couldn’t pick the nerd because that would just give other nerds false hope of landing someone as hot as me. And, I cannot process being with someone who houses a huge toy collection, even if it includes sex toys.

I chose the hunk, who, thankfully, did not mind me being a stripper, though I did not use that particular word to describe myself. We went on the show’s pre-packaged date and had lousy sex before looking for other cheap and lousy game shows to expose ourselves and build a crappy TV resume. If you see me, again, anywhere, I’ve surely had my brain removed and am now just a cyborg.

***

I also was a gorgeous woman who had to pick one of three guys on that same quasi-dating game show. However, I ultimately picked the most ethnic, immature and dorky of the guys, who had to accept that I was both a lawyer and a stripper, exclusively for some wealthy guys linked to the game show, itself, which I could not admit on TV (even though the host giving me a peck on the cheek might have given a clue). I gave false hope to other fools like my date to boost the show’s audience and round up other fools.

The date was just a formality to make the show appear like a success. I ditched the dork with a clause in my contract and never saw him, again. Actually, we did cross paths, but a restraining order set him straight…or gay. I can’t remember, anymore. I handle a lot of men. Ha.

***

Hey, folks. I was the host of that dating show, when Match.com was still hip and televised. It wasn’t just a dating show; it also advertised a talent-seeking agency for which any of the contestants could apply to do something other than humiliate themselves in a strangely limited social environment. [So, it’s possible some if not all contestants were staged and grouped for a preset result.]

I am a very witty guy with dentures, who can make countless jokes about himself and speak rather intelligently when pressed. But, instead of hosting something that puts my assets to good use, I am pegged as a “shock jock,” bent to getting scandalous noises out of the audience.

Unlike the other fools who appear on shows like mine, I had plenty of time to entertain viewers. Unfortunately, the nature of the shows I host eventually lose their charm almost as fast as viewers lose brain cells. But, when one show bombs, another is sure to rise from its ashes. So, don’t worry about me. I’ll keep cracking wise until my head falls to the floor.

***

Hey, America (and whoever else may be reading this remote blog). I hosted a game show that was supposed to be hip, trendy and modern…because it involved something I know we all love to use…EMOJIS! Yes, and it required contestants to see things in emoji codes which few if any people actually could do, because the selection of emojis and time on the clock were rather limited. Try playing Charades with only fifteen possible hand gestures. How DO you get someone to guess “Raiders of the Lost Ark” by using a hand, a box, a pirate and a puzzled face? I have no idea. But, I’m glad I was making money while the contestants went home with corporate swag and subscriptions to things no one needs.

***

I was a contestant on the forementioned emoji-laden game show. I was at a mall (in some part of Southern California) when I saw someone offering applications. A friend of mine, who likes to text with me, thought we would be good contestants, and, buckling under a fair amount of peer pressure, I agreed. I thought a show about texting was far easier than one that required you to use knowledge I failed to grasp in school; and I don’t read much, anyway.

On the show, I got nothing right and ultimately decided to never use emojis in my daily life; nor will I ever likely play a similar game, like Charades. When that emoji movie came out, I freaked and cut off all of my hair. If anyone tries to use emojis with me, I will probably break my own phone in a fit of uncontrollable rage. I shouldn’t even use the damn word…emoji! Ugh!

***

It’s been over twenty years since I hosted my game show, with a very sexy blonde assistant who had a strange name and little to say…because I swallowed up eighty percent of the air time with my non-stop rambling. Together, with a third person whose job was to put contestant pairs to sleep by whispering random factoids, we tested the physical and mental limits of red-eyed fools and offered little reward to compensate for the madness and therapy that would likely follow. The show was a play on what many students go through to pass the big tests they take in school.

So, you see; I’m no fool, even if my hairdo looked dated…like really far out, if you dig what I’m saying. I made money for my effort and didn’t lose any sleep. I just ran a sweat shop that bent others like slaves for my own amusement. I also had one of the most attractive assistants who just wasn’t getting enough better roles, anywhere. Those are the perks of being in charge of my destiny and not the pawn.

***

I was part of a reboot for newly married couples, hosted by some woman who I did not recognize because I don’t watch many movies or TV shows and don’t listen to music made before 2001. My new husband and I had a not-so-crazy story to tell about how we met, which gave viewers the impression we were close. But, as it turned out, we knew very little about each other and were terrible at reading minds. Instead, we just answered like the other couples, which didn’t do us any favors. Many of the questions were innuendoes, which I did not understand. [Why is this show so lewd?] I didn’t know there would be a kiss camera, either. In the end, we went home with a certificate for the loser-steak-of-the-month club and plenty to discuss in couple’s therapy. I’d say the experience was a waste of time, but, of course, my soon-to-be ex-husband disagrees.

***

I was also on that game show for newly married couples, and my lovely wife and I actually won! We were VERY in tune with each other and matched on nearly every question. We took the big prize trip to Antigua and met several other game-show winners. It seems Antigua is the pit where seventy-five percent of game show winners go to die like lemmings. I thought it was supposed to be a tropical paradise. There were so many people trying to sell me something. I came home covered in business cards and coupons I’ll likely never use.

17
Apr
25

Can We Cut Out the Unnecessary Services and Gratitude That Contribute to Fear?

***

Oh. Let me start by saying…

Thank you for your service.

Who or what am I thanking…and why? No one, at the moment. But, those words get thrown around quite a bit and almost seem expected when in the presence of certain people. Yet, the same could be said for non-human things that perform similar…services. And, as technology changes in certain directions, we may be pressured to say it in those directions instead of human faces.

Think about this.

Military troops perform certain actions we call service, and we’re prodded to thank them for those services. We don’t know exactly what they do or did. But, we’re told it’s for our protection, our safety. Well, God bless and thank those people for keeping us safe…..from what exactly?

Oh. Sure. You can think up some things that you’re not facing yourself. War seems to be the common one. But, I bet if you actually went “on duty” with some of the troops, you’d see things differently. And, you’d know the truth…maybe. [I’m not even sure the troops know the whole truth, and that’s why so many suffer after serving.]

But, you see…we’re thanking people for “services” without any knowledge of what service they perform(ed). [And, you may feel pressured to cough up money.]

Imagine being at a restaurant and just finding a plate of food. Then someone walks by in a “uniform,” and you reach out to say, “Thank you for your service.” You don’t know if that person did anything to prepare that food. You don’t know if they were just in some back room getting freaky with another coworker instead of helping a customer. You know nothing…except that they’re wearing a uniform. [And, maybe they stole that uniform.]

[Don’t even get me started on thieves and murders who misuse uniforms.]

So far, I’ve just scraped the surface of questionable service, just the more common perspective of analyzing the military. [I often find myself questioning the military.] But, what about so many OTHER “services” we are forced to contend with and the fees that go with them? Yes. Now, you’re getting a clue. Right? I’m talking stuff that often comes with paperwork and phone calls. Services you just don’t even give much thought before you comply, only to hear later about bad luck stories which only create more doubt and fear than you already have. You’re an easy target, and so many take advantage of that.

There is SO much talk about “protecting your personal data.”

[Even if you live “off the grid,” surely you hear some of this. You may think you’re smart by staying “offline.” If you can handle every aspect of your modern life without any dealings with one of these pathways that seems risky to personal information, I salute you…and wonder how you do it. There sure seems to be plenty of pressure to get in line and submit information and other things, one way or another.]

But, why should we need to protect our data when we aren’t doing anything intentional to endanger it? And, why should anything we do to protect something cost money? If I shield something with my own body, is that costing me money? And, what exact amount of money is going to guarantee what I want to protect will be spared from destruction or theft? [I don’t think anyone has a good answer.]

Sure; we may need to buy something made by someone else to improve our defenses. Back in “the day,” people would invest in armor, shields, etc. to defend themselves. If you’re roaming the countryside, some vandal might try to assault/rob you, and it’s good to be protected. But, isn’t it better to make those decisions/investments without fear of what MAY happen? If you’ve never had a problem with vandals on your road trips, why stop now to buy something you’ve never needed? And, if you take a hint/warning and make a better path choice, couldn’t you avoid the problem that would otherwise require investing in better protection? Also, if you acquired the proper knowledge/skill, couldn’t you gather your own supplies and construct your own protection?

[Instead, we’re teaching people how to code and cheat everything under and beyond the sun.]

[Insurance companies all over the place will be flailing their arms, right now. How inconvenient it is to have to make wiser decisions when you could let someone else, at cost, manage those issues (and still not adequately resolve all concerns).]

Once you start investing in what COULD happen, you give up control over reality and living in the moment. Are we always supposed to live in fear of the unknown? Don’t therapists (get paid to) curb such fears, telling us not to project what is not actually there?

[And, insurance companies make it their business to get you thinking about them. So, I guess, being afraid of “what if” helps…er, pays someone. Do therapists ever thank insurance companies? I wonder.]

Isn’t this like “growing up” and ceasing to tremble at the thought of what might be lurking in the dark or under the bed?

If you are using personal data to achieve something, why should there be any obstacle course or threats lurking in the shadows? If you go to your refrigerator to get something to eat, do you need to defend yourself from fridge pirates and gobble-ins? [See what I did there?]

Why does it seem like every basic function we want to perform is threatened by something we must then fear…but not fear if we invest in things that “protect us.” We are being steered like cattle into scary situations for no damn reason other than the benefit and profit of the “mongers” who do this crap to us.

And, before I get into more of the little or not-so-little things we contend with, I’ll address the question that’s bound to pop up.

Well, what can we do about all of this?

I wish I had an Einstein-worthy answer that resolved everything. It sure would cure my fears. I really don’t know what can be done to fix the big problem. I just know there seems to be as many people out to cause a problem as there are those who wish to live without one. And, it’s also possible that there are many of us contributing to the problems of others without intent simply because we’ve been coerced to go along with various procedures. Your compliance could be giving other people grief.

My fear wouldn’t be nearly as troubling if I had and saw more people acting with confidence (not exaggerated), being friendly (not flustered or rude) and doing what needs to be done without submitting to those things that I suspect (if not know) are contributing to the problem. Seeing someone do something you just know is going to cause more distress is like living a nightmare. And, my life has been riddled with nightmares. [Sweet dreams? What are those?] If I was with someone who was living life wisely, even if they were working hard at it instead of relying upon all the latest conveniences, I’d probably sign on with them and forget what’s troubling so many. [I wish I could say being a farmer was the solution.]

I will say this. Convenience seems to be a HUGE contributor to the problem. Whenever someone says their service to you or their product/invention is convenient in any way, proceed with caution and do not be swayed by the reduction of “you need to do something to make this work.” I’m sure many of us would rather go without work, without laboring at anything. From the dawn of time, humans have been crafting tools to reduce work and strain on the body. But, we’ve shot past the simple tools that are the bones of physics lessons and gone right into excessive ways to manipulate people. We’re putting the screws and levers to each other instead of that stone block we want to move.

[Yet…the opposite of convenience shouldn’t be torture or any form of manipulation. Just because something isn’t as convenient as it could be doesn’t mean it has to be troubling or abusive to the mind and/or body. We don’t have to feel mistreated or heckled for doing something “the hard way.” You might say this is like doing math on paper next to some jerk with a calculator. They do the math in a fraction of the time and then stick their tongue out at you, saying something unnecessary and cruel while you deal with your equation(s). Can’t we just do the math, use our brains effectively and efficiently, and not be taxed or intimidated?]

Technology that should be making communication and cultural interaction more…er…convenient…has become more intimidating and taxing than it ever should be. And, every aspect of life seems to be getting steered right into the digital unknown and bringing various financially-laced demands (like a masked thief with a gun) with it.

We’re told to protect ourselves, yet we’re getting “held up” by faceless people doing the very thing we’re supposed to avoid.

—-

Hey. You. You’d better protect yourself from ____. Now, hand over five percent of your money so nothing bad like that happens to you.

—-

Insurance. Service fees. Shipping and handling. Fees for things we failed to notice or read (sometimes because forms and policies are written by wordy individuals who get a sick thrill out of making pages exhausting and cryptic). [I often get accused by family for being one of them…but that is not my intent. And, I don’t get a sick thrill out of confusing or vexing anyone.]

There are those services and fees we SHOULD be aware of and consciously repaying…and then there are probably way more that we don’t know and shouldn’t have to face or fear. When you work with someone, face-to-face, and they do something for you, you may feel inclined to repay them somehow…and that’s how it should be. But, to pay someone for something you don’t know they did for you…that’s like a child hustling a parent for money before they do a chore.

—-

Can I get five bucks? I’ll mow the lawn for you. I just need five bucks, now. Why? Just cuz. You know I’m good for it.

—-

That kid could easily just go get a snack or do something he/she shouldn’t be doing with that money. You don’t know…unless you throttle them for more information and wreck the bond you have with that person.

[Now, imagine that “kid” is someone sending you a notice that says you need to pay a certain amount of money to get something you want, including an amount for something you don’t fully understand. They COULD just say you owe one amount…but why stop there when you can vex someone with other fine print and things that magically get people to cough up more money for things they don’t understand? You’re not just paying for the service/object you want…there are other “fees” you need to address which go with getting what you want. This is “convenience” yet not convenient for you but for those who collect the money.]

Insurance companies make their business out of WHAT IF, which is so often the thing therapists and sage individuals continually tell you to avoid. Well, how can we avoid pondering the “what ifs” if we are roped into insurance policies? They say the policies, which require constant supply of money to maintain (and, too often, to get the things we need them to do, which is too often additional money, not the initial/scheduled cost), take care of those “what ifs,” so we don’t have to worry. But, we still worry! And, crap still happens which sometimes doesn’t get resolved so easily by the insurance we fund. [Crappy service. Right?]

[Lawyers advertise their services like vultures waiting for someone to be hit with a financial problem, promising to make resolving the problem easy and “free” (until they win for you). I’m sure there are decent, respectable lawyers who truly want to serve people and improve order. But, there are others who suck up commercial space and time with what I can only imagine is rubbish. Can you imagine driving down a road and seeing some guy in a suit waiting on the side for you to have an accident? As soon as you do, they rush in with a briefcase in hand and papers to fill…for your benefit…right? As if.]

What makes matters more complex is that we have gone past the age of dealing with people face-to-face, rolled right past “snail mail” and fallen into the zero-gravity space of internet business. We’re interacting with others we cannot see, sending all kinds of data across the void, not knowing who may receive or intercept that information along the way. I don’t think there was nearly as much risk of someone raiding a mailbox to mess with others when we only had envelopes and boxes to process our needs. I’m sure there were a number of thieves who did their best to break into mailrooms and vaults where financial papers were stored and addresses could be put to vile use. It’s this latest digital era that’s really opens the doors to the unknown and people seemingly trained to do us harm.

A computer (or similar device), one that requires the internet to reach someone, some business, you need to get what you want (and, lately, sometimes just to function as a sensible computer), has the potential to be very helpful if we know how to operate it. But, instead and more likely, we operate it somewhat blindly and fumble, at times, with what’s supposed to be so easy. And, as so many spend increasing amounts of time with such technology, they (we) seem to be getting…dumber. [It doesn’t take a genius (or idiot) to tell you getting dumber makes you more open to threats and those who would take pleasure in troubling you.]

Again, you may want to avoid this technological hazard. And, if you are able to live completely free of computer usage (and dealing with forms/fees beyond your comprehension), I salute you. But, it seems like an uphill battle to get past and resolve this concern. I don’t have the solution. I just know something needs to be done, and I’ll get to more of the WHY, soon enough (though it should be apparent in what I’ve already been saying).

There are schools (and surely “training programs”) that teach people about all the wondrous things you can do with computers, including the things we should never be doing with computers. [Oh. But, you can get away with it and put it to your advantage…it’s so tempting.] And, with so much being pressed to perform on a computer, whether you’re a user or someone paid to do something with a computer, that technology has become the new playground littered with bullies and peer pressure, so much unnecessary intimidation taxing our minds (and bodies). People are taught how computers can be so convenient and helpful…and then some, who either were born twisted or get twisted by bad decisions, use that knowledge to mess with and rob people.

Remember what I said about you possibly contributing to the problem? You could be part of the problem if you let some offer that brings you money sway you into signing or doing something that ultimately troubles other people (or could even come back to trouble you). There are forms (and policies) you likely fill out that promise “refunds” and other forms of money which you may be working (or laboring) to earn…then get taxed…and somehow get some back, which makes the whole taxing thing just a little confusing.

—-

Hey. You owe me ten bucks. Give it, now. Okay. Now, here’s two bucks back. Why? Call it a consideration. Now, the next time you have twenty bucks, give me ten, and I’ll give you five back. See? I’m saving you money.

—-

WHY is all of the above so important? Well, if it isn’t obvious, when we give up control of our own lives and let these various policies and money-laced procedures lead the way, we cease to exist, we give away our souls and become batteries of some system. [I’ve previously written various pieces on how humans can be batteries.] We might as well be jugs of fuel if we don’t take account of and control of our lives. We’re taught and told things that give our lives meaning and value, yet, at the same time, we are too often de-valued by things that confuse and pressure us to comply.

I could ponder this all day and drive in circles, trying to get a firm grip on the situation. I realize there are elements in play that all mix and, in some way, either respectable or vile, try to make sense of this existence.

Order

It’s a not-so-fancy synonym for peace. When no one is making you feel threatened or uncomfortable, when everyone seems to be getting along, there is order.

There are people who want order (not the kind you place to get something you want) and those who either opt to or are enlisted to produce order. And, in order to achieve that sense of order, actions are taken which, unfortunately, don’t appeal to or make everyone happy. [Why? Why can’t order please everyone? I suppose some could bring up that line: You can’t please everyone. But, wouldn’t true order do just that? And, how does anyone please everyone?]

People talk about “living in balance” or “a balanced life.” But, that balance seems to always be in question. Other species continue to be a subject of concern. What do we do about the insects and wildlife getting in our way?

Economy

Economy is just how people in control (or who take command) and seeking order attempt to establish greater control and/or order. If people pay and trade fairly, they won’t fight or cause other trouble. By the sound of the word, you’d think it was for the benefit of all. By definition, it deals with the distribution of wealth. Well, why does wealth have to come into any equation?

I think “wealth” is part of the problem because it seems to instill thoughts of greed. If you have wealth, if you have control of some source of value (maybe all of the oranges), why part with them? Why share with other beings? What is it about “wealth” that does this to people? If we used a different word, like resources, maybe we’d be more considerate. Resources sounds like something we all should have. Wealth sounds like something one person stashes in a vault for eternity. If you have a wealth of safe drinking water…I imagine plenty of others are dying of thirst. Is that a pleasant thought?…you having all of the safe water, alone? When do we reach a point when we realize there is benefit in sharing resources? [It’s harder to share wealth, I imagine, because then it ceases to be wealth. Things lose perceived monetary value when everyone has them. But, that doesn’t reduce the OTHER value of those items.]

If we say Economy deals with the distribution of RESOURCES (versus wealth), I would say we are far FAR from having an adequate system of properly, fairly sharing. And, what’s extra tragic is how some places are flooded with resources and not necessarily greedy people in control of all of them, while other places are starved for those same resources (while, possibly, being “rich” in other resources).

Distribution is definitely a problem. But, money isn’t solving it. Money just delays people from being helpful when they feel they should get more for their assistance. If you didn’t have to think about money, if so many people weren’t pressing you to make and then give away that money (which still doesn’t guarantee you get all that you need or want), you could focus your eyes on the real resources and maybe consider helping to distribute them.

This is sort of like dealing with a “natural disaster.” You COULD get kind people to lend a hand and help prevent tragedy. But, it would cost money, because people have to step away from their money-managing lives to do something else, something that isn’t paying them. And, it would be risky to help, which goes against the insurance plans and such that people agree to pay. [Why would anyone take a risk if it’s going to cost them more, later? Suddenly, being helpful in a crisis becomes uncomfortable, intolerable, because it comes with a financial threat.] There is probably enough ____ to resolve the crisis, but there is so much added and potentially unnecessary pressure to consider the “cost” before providing or delivering what is needed. When we require money to make the world go around, being helpful becomes less convenient and almost impossible.

Sadly, I don’t think anyone, yet, has a good sense of maintaining an economy. There is too much temptation to take more than is right and cheat the system. If you’re not stealing, you’re the victim of it. That does not sound right, in my mind, for what economy should be. [Personally, bartering has always sounded better than dealing with money.]

When we place a value upon and give people a need to amass money, they turn away from the true purpose of getting what is needed. When people start believing amassing money is important, they seem to do anything they can to get more, which sounds like crime. Yet, it’s not the money that’s doing anything other than intimidating or troubling others. Money itself isn’t feeding you or keeping you alive. It’s just a tool of the economy someone has been trying to use to establish their idea of order. Money could go up in flames, tomorrow, but there will still be natural resources and a need for them. [Money is sort of an illusion standing in the way of equitable sharing of resources.]

Convenience

Some might say this goes back to the Garden of Eden. The “forbidden fruit” was so conveniently placed and held so much “wealth.” Convenience is a deceptive path to an easier life which too often is abused or misused. What is convenient for one will likely be inconvenient for another. Your convenience could upset another person or species. It’s convenient how we can claim land and drive out the native population. It’s just as convenient for insects to invade your home or some other wild animal to threaten your sense of peace and order. In a way, convenience is our human excuse for getting our way. It sounds very comforting…but at the expense of others. Yet, to give up convenience…wouldn’t that make life torture? Or, just labor?

Control

Control is a shade of Order, laced with Convenience. Order itself is not always convenient; you often work to establish Order. But, when you have Control, you can conveniently command Order (but that doesn’t mean you’ll easily get what you want or satisfy what is likely a ceaseless growth of want). Ironically, positive/motivational speakers (and modern “influencers”) are good at provoking you to “take control of your life!” And, rightfully, we should. But, how does one take control without affecting others? Thus, are we taking control of our own lives or tangling the strings of others?

Controlling parents are looked down upon for doing some questionable things to maintain their own sense of Order. Some, if not most, do what they do just to ease their own minds (and, often, dismiss responsibility). Parents can enjoy the things they like to do alone if they can just get their kids to stop making noise and demanding food. [So, why did you become parents?] Some people get infected with the notion that only they know how to do something right…and then whip that into the hides of their children.

People take roles/jobs that come with a certain measure of control. Their job is to help establish order. But, I think, too often, the drive or element of money is what makes decisions instead of a genuine desire to improve the peace of all living things (not just other humans). Even if you take such a job with good intentions, there are countless others in similar positions pressuring you to bend a certain way to get something they or whoever they serve wants.

[Is that sensible Order? Who is really in control of anything? How do we maintain control without upsetting a peaceful sense of order? Or, how can we stop trying to control and co-exist in peace?]

Population

We seem to have little to zero control over the size of any population. If you attempt to establish control, you’re an inhuman monster. But, Population is the driving force behind most if not all of the above. Quantity of living things (as well as the non-living stuff we accumulate) impacts decisions we make. It affects how we hoard or feel free to share resources.

[If you have a sandwich and are with one other person, you might feel kind enough to split that sandwich into two. But, if you have four other people around you, how can you all get enough of the sandwich to feel content?]

Other species go about daily conflicts, battles and wars of their own kind, under our human noses. We neglect to see what is happening as we process our too often financial concerns. But, they’re out there, competing for resources and eating each other. In a way, that’s what we’re avoiding and trying to avoid. Yet, that would seem to be natural order, in some sick, twisted way that only upsets the modern human stomach.

I’m not saying we should live exactly like other (savage) animals/beings, but is it possible even those other species wouldn’t seem so savage if everyone was able to get what they needed?…if communication and distribution was clear and fair?

[Now, we have to take into consideration that some species, no matter how some humans may protest, are meat eaters and/or eat other species to survive. I don’t think it’s possible to steer every species into a “vegan” lifestyle. And, if you did, I am sure, eventually, the plants would get a brain and revolt. And then, what would we have? A discussion for another day! That’s what. None of us decide what species eats what, no matter what you think you can achieve with science. And, if you attempt to mess with nature, you get nasty side effects, anyway.]

Bringing this all back to its initial point, we are being treated like cattle with bottomless wallets. We are living in fear that is not our own. It’s one thing to live your life, encounter something that is naturally a threat, experience fear and deal with it. It’s a whole other thing to have others prod you with their sticks, constantly, and tell you to do something OR ELSE. Those pressures to comply and submit funds you acquire however you get them are only complicating and depleting the very lives they want to milk.

So, there’s a bit of irony for all of you greedy manipulators. You are killing the cows you want to milk forever by injecting them with fear. Yes, fear can make a cow cough up milk…but it won’t always or likely be the best milk. When people feel good about what they are doing, they are more likely to perform better. An athlete afraid of hurting someone or his/her self is not going to perform with confidence and will likely get injured…then think about what that injury will do their financial security, not to mention functioning as a human being.

[Then, if you can handle thinking on yet another level, you take into account how certain people make their business, their means of profit, from managing people’s fears, their woes and concerns. And, as other people become troubled with the need to make money, they look for jobs. Sometimes, those jobs seem only available at businesses making money off of people pressured to pay to avoid the things they are coerced to fear. Wherever there is a job someone is less interested in taking, there is someone in such dire need of a job that they will get steered toward and take it. So, now, you have people subject to fear working for what I can only call “fear mongers.” Either the employees become like their bosses and start injecting others with pressure to cough up money (for their personal obsession to amass money/wealth) or labor away just to get through life, trying to ignore what their jobs are really doing (if they even know). That is a really tragic, messed-up vision of economy.]

Isn’t there a better way to get what you need and not intimidate/confuse others? Fear is merely the weapon of bullies who take sick pleasure in watching others wail and/or suffer. I don’t know what breeds such sick mentality, but it exists. [Some would call it evil.] If you benefit from others getting confused or scared (or hurt), I don’t have any nice words for you. You’re just wrong. Maybe it starts out as a fun prank. But, if you keep at it, you’re a monster, and not the kind people seem to be turning into cute collections.

I don’t have a concrete or satisfying conclusion to this statement. So, I’ll just leave it here for your consideration. Food for thought. Now, help make this world a better place for all. Please.




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