Posts Tagged ‘artificial intelligence

02
Nov
24

Human Imagination Is Responsible for AI Crisis

****

It’s been said that technology first appearing in a Star-Trek TV show is gradually being made a reality. What was once science fiction is becoming real.

I think the same may be to blame for what I consider an AI threat/crisis. Where did this notion for a computer that answers everything for us originate? Well, just look at the cartoons and other colorful TV shows I watched in my youth. What do the heroes do when they don’t know their next step?…they consult some “super” computer for a ridiculous solution.

[How many times does the “brilliant” Batman slight Robin and turn to the Batcomputer for help? Even Superman and Wonder Woman suggest using a supercomputer in the animated Super Friends and in the 70s Wonder Woman TV show, respectively.]

Boom.

AI is born and gradually running amok, because, even in an “immature” cartoon, humans (and superhumans alike) forfeit use of their own minds to let a machine do the task.

[In ancient-Greek-myth-and-legend terms, isn’t that the sort of thing that would eventually upset the gods?…not using your head?…even if creating the object that “does the thinking” seems like an intelligent effort. Wasn’t Odysseus heralded for using his head?…while Sisyphus was punished eternally for how he used his to “cheat.”]

What was it my old teachers used to say about calculators?

Exactly.

Now, if only I could explain another critical crisis this world is facing. It involves the perpetual pressure and temptation to have something you currently do not. It comes in music (particularly rap and hip-hop music) that speaks of riches and ease of dealing with women and in ads for phones/phone plans and insurance which always seems to have something you currently do not have yet should want. Some would say this is just how an economy is maintained, and, to those fools, I say I will beat you senseless (if you aren’t already).

06
Oct
22

The App Biz Hustle; Everybody Dance With Me

***

Hi. I’m a pleasant voice hired to speak with you about a new “app”
that was just released for free trial (and later sales). My goal is to instill fear and confusion with my words, hoping you will submit and buy the “app” I am pitching, which was made by some guys who just graduated from college and are working out of a garage.

This “app” offers you a dazzling pie-chart-displaying service which is intended to offer reassurance from the fear and confusion I just injected into you. Fear of what you ask? It doesn’t matter (delicate laughter).
But, for example, do you hate hearing the phone ring every hour or at times when you are involved with other business and/or people? Thanks for supplying that time-sensitive personal information which will now be passed on to my employers for future programming adjustments and more annoyance for you. Enjoy our repetitive ads and spam calls until you submit to our payment plan.

Now, once I have your approval to pay so much per month, you will no longer have to worry about anything my employers could do to you. What can my employers do to you? It doesn’t matter (delicate laughter).

But, for example, do you hate hearing the phone ring every hour or at times when you are involved with other business and/or people? Thanks for supplying that time-sensitive personal information which will now be passed on to my employers for future programming adjustments and more annoyance for you. Enjoy our repetitive ads and spam calls until you submit to our payment plan.

And, to add even more reassurance, please, continue to enjoy this slide show of people smiling and enjoying unrelated activities, during which one or more people are holding a “smart device” which could be using our “app.” Thank you for purchasing our “app” and continue to financially support the young college graduates of your planet; this is what all that money invested in a higher education affords.

As long as people keep pitching “smart” devices as the only not obsolete way to interact and do business, you have less and less freedom to decide what you do with your lives…and money. And, it’s really your money that matters to us, not your lives, which are worthless. But, don’t listen to that; watch this montage and listen to music we bought from a poor artist for a nickel.

Background singing voice (to end this commercial): “And, I think to myself…what a wonderfulll worrrlllld. Oooh yeaaah.”

01
Oct
21

The Loss of Attention to the Intention of Invention

****

Being naïve to praise is a dangerous trait. Someone claims to like what you make. So, you make more, hoping to keep the praise train going; maybe make some money. Suddenly, your creation is a hit, boosted in sales by the media and some wealthy investors. And, in a few years, if you’re not the fad of the decade, you’re among the richest in the world. People call you a genius and keep feeding the growth of your empire. Soon enough, you’re buying up companies that have nothing to do with your original “genius,” like you just won a fortune in the game of Monopoly and are itching to put up a dozen hotels.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world suffers from a misguided production line. The environment suffers. [Hello? Factories that cannot help but pollute. And, mistakes pile up in landfills, which take up more and more space, like faulty parking garages that collect tolls.] The economy suffers (because you’re raking in the most money while others are cutting costs, corners and employees to make ends meet). And, often enough, humanity suffers by becoming slaves to your latest “convenience.”

Here’s a smart invention. Door locks you don’t need tools or “professionals” to install. You just stick, paste and coordinate them with your “smartphone.” Yay, more electronic devices!…that eventually need new batteries or a charge and are sure to glitch and fail, sometime. You entrust your security to this system and find the stupid things on the floor when the “stick” you accepted (instead of solid steel screws and a little manual labor) looses its grip, a grip anyone could break with a little effort. ‘Can’t get a good signal to check a camera feed or disable a faulty alarm? Bummer. How smart is that “phone,” now?

Why didn’t I get a warning? Oh, because I depended upon an electronic gizmo to do everything for me. I stopped using my own brain and senses of awareness to prevent the threat. Instead of taking action to reduce the hazard, I put up a feeble defense system and let the bandits assault my castle. No worries. We’ll just improve the quality of your “flexible seal” and sell you the updated version of that security system, later. You just throw the old one on the landfill and wait for the mailman to arrive. ‘Gotta love free shipping!

You know what’s even more dangerous?

No. Not the mad-scientist sort who intentionally plots to take over the world. At least, so far, that sort of person hasn’t surfaced anywhere except in movies. But, anything seems possible, these days. Most of us really don’t know…enough. As they say in The X-Files, the truth is out there.

What’s more dangerous is lacking the empathy and/or conscience to see the problem before it arises. You know…not that you’d ever think of stopping production of anything you invent…because that would be counter-productive to your genius; your creativity.

[And, as a creative mind myself, who has fallen hard from excessive praise (though not nearly the levels of praise certain other wealthier folks have received), I acknowledge this.]

[If you think like a robot who is motivated (or programmed) to make more robots, are you going to see the error in your programming and stop production before you wipe out humankind?…if not all of nature, as well? You were built by humans…or, later, I’m sure, a robot…built by humans. Of course, you’re going to get stupid and keep producing; spare no expense to your Jurassic Park.]

I recently saw a video clip of Elon Musk talking about the future of robots. [It was featured with a news segment about robots replacing workers during this Covid-19 crisis; which went on to say the biggest and wealthiest inventors were busy producing replacements for human labor. If that isn’t enough to get your minds buzzing with concern…] He says robots will soon be able to do everything better than humans…everything. And, quote, he doesn’t know what else to say about that.

[And, you know what my response was? I felt the slightest cracking of madness setting in and was compelled to sing a lyric from that ol’ R.E.M. song about the “end of the world, as we know it.”]

Don’t you see? Don’t you get it? The guy’s deemed a genius, worth and amassing countless dollars for his creations. And, he has a mental condition that strips him of awareness for his own actions. He might as well be one of his own androids.
[And, maybe he is. Maybe his sterling-silver mother with her cunning smile and slicked back hair is the mastermind behind the robotic son. Dr. Alexa Frankenstein. There. I said it.]

[And, if you missed my earlier warning… They are talking about replacing human workers with robots due to a “labor shortage” during a “crisis” caused by some virus released in a Chinese lab; a lab in the country best known for housing countless factories which produce (American) “modern conveniences.” Forget talk about sweat shops. There won’t be any sweat left to produce if this production line continues…except the sweat of human fear. A man-made (even if it was accidental) virus puts the world in a panic and takes plenty out of the workforce. What a perfect opportunity for technological manufacturers to move in and take control. You think this wasn’t intended by someone? Coincidence?…I think not. And, if you need more distraction, let’s talk about a questionable vaccine mandate/solution. While you are taking sides on that issue, the factories will be at work making your replacements. I hope you were not trying to achieve something with the life you were given. Moo…Moo-ve along, cattle. Progress is prodding you toward your own demise. Though, it’s unlikely you have any chance of changing what is happening…if we are all truly in danger of rapidly dying from a hazardous virus that is taking us down, dozen by dozen, like an expert assassin. Wherever we go, there it may be.]

Lately, every guy given this grand status of technological genius has rather quickly turned into a dark, looming storm cloud of disaster.

***

They didn’t finish school like the “smartest hard-working students” among us; they just came up with something “smart” and rushed right into production (from their “garage”). RUMBLE!

Glitches abound. Updates need to be made, constantly. But, someone keeps investing to turn this coal into a diamond. RUMBLE!

Everyone gets a copy! It’s free (or “affordable”)…for now. Why is it so popular? Because I just told you and am giving you a copy! RUMBLE!

Free (trial) service becomes one more monthly fee, increasing in cost every few years. Now, you’re renting what was “sold” to entice you. RUMBLE!

Everyone must use the latest invention because it’s no longer as-seen-on-TV. It’s mandated. If you don’t learn how and use it, you’re obsolete and unemployed. Services you expect to continue working are suddenly changed and placed under different rules you must now learn and afford. RUMBLE!

The minds behind the genius suffer some sort of breakup (divorce) which prompts further loss of emotional support (that’s tech support for humankind) and a plunge into increased mindless creation and spending of seemingly limitless capital. RUMBLE!

The next time you see the genius on your preferred glowing, radiating convenience, he (or she…but usually HE) is not looking so good (though, they always seem to look pasty) and seems to be hiding something…like they are afraid (if they still feel fear) to say something. RUMBLE!

KA-BOOM! We’re all dead, replaced by someone’s inventions. And, we never get to see all of the other lovely animals and plants of our world crumble and die under the metallic feet of “progress.”

***

Invention is the drug that intoxicates the lonely genius. Genius is another word for alcoholic. Why? Because, once you are deemed and believe you are a genius, you can’t stop yourself from inventing, from creating MORE.

If you are an “inventor,” you’re still “small,” less dangerous, less senseless. Your ego is in check because you’re still working toward something. But, like an alcoholic, if you don’t curb your enthusiasm, you’re at risk of becoming a full-throttle genius, someone wealthier folks will pump full of their money to project a business model upon the world. If you are deemed a “genius,” “pro” or “expert,” you know it all; you don’t need anyone to tell you anything. You’re the master of your domain…until some more influential fool pushes you off your mountain. You’ll be too blinded by production and managing all you invent to see the bulldozer driven by the next “genius” in line.

And, if people hear about you, some will surely bow to your “greatness.” They will like. They will subscribe. They will comply. They will be assimilated. And, like many subscriptions, these days, they cannot withdraw from your contract. They signed on; they’re stuck with that decision.

[You’re an Icarus until you fall from the burning light of the sun as it melts your foolish wings.]

[Adolph Hitler wasn’t born a monster. He was driven to become a monster, fed by those who bowed to him, who cowered before him and agreed to do his bidding. Then anyone who still did not agree went to war with the guy’s amassing forces, and there was a ton of bloodshed and destruction before someone called an end to the conflict.

Jump ahead to modern times. Instead of sending countless bodies to their graves, we use remote-control war machines. Just like the old days of steering factory production toward assisting the military (all of those ads for war bonds and collecting scrap this and that to build weapons and support the troops)……

What? You don’t think all the recent talk about human-like robots, or androids, won’t also be given some combative purpose? You think there won’t be robot policemen and soldiers? Well, aren’t you just the foolish one.

And, who is leading this robotic army? And, what if every warring nation develops its own robotic army? Is that any different than every nation wanting its own nuclear weapons…just in case…and then dealing with some bossy nation like the USA, telling them to disable those weapons while leaving their own active and ready to launch at any time? And, what if we have to start worrying about “hackers” turning our robotic weapons against us? And, where will all the scrapped soldiers and weapons go? And, will any humans–other than the most wealthy who probably have a secure underground safehouse to preserve them–be around to celebrate some sort of victory?]

[If Einstein didn’t accept and believe in his genius, he would not have continued pursuing his famous theories until he died. He was drunk on pushing his brain beyond its limits.]

You’d think after countless movies and TV shows about this sort of thing we humans would see the light before the dawn. But, at best, those who DO predict disaster are written off as paranoid and cynical. Oh, that guy. He’s always ranting about something. That old coot. Shake your head. Fan your hand at him and move along. If it’s not making money, what good is it?

Keep buying your Mountain Dew Red, Blue and Color-Not-Found-in-Nature and slaving away at the general’s mill. You’re working toward…something. You’re affording convenience…until that convenience can no longer afford you.

*****

Let me just carve a slot in this heated subject matter to inject some thought about religion, about faith. In such a mad, pressurized environment of technological domination and social collapse, you’d think retaining a “faith,” believing in some sort of god, was impossible. You’d think we all would/should turn atheist. How can a god allow this madness to occur?

But, if you think a little further, a little bigger, a little outside the box outside the box…

What if this madness we are experiencing isn’t also intended by the same god(s)? What if our demise is as “written” as was our invention?…our creation?

[Read my next post for more on this subject. Or, you’d be here all day reading my diverting thoughts in one big slice.]

*****

[I could probably go on for hours with this feverish rant. But, having an ounce of conscience, something others in “higher places” seem to lack, I think I made my point. ‘No use getting fall-off-the-stool drunk in my outlook.]

If current conditions have anything to say about survival of the fittest, then, I guess, I am not among the “fittest.” I cannot compete with those bent on replacing humankind with machines, even if, right now, they are among the “wealthy” and “intelligent” minority who assume they will rule the universe (and let the rest of us fall where we may). I don’t have the same financial backing and other resources. I have failed at rallying others to my side. I don’t lead any party that can turn the tide (and am not interested in becoming the next “Hitler”). I guess, because I don’t swear allegiance to the forces that plot to ruin natural life as we may know it, I am doomed to get buried by the overwhelming majority of slaves to convenience (and whatever mad artificial world their masters conceive).

GET SMART, PEOPLE! Before it’s too late. [And, I don’t mean invent the next convenience that quickly turns into a financial empire (and ecological disaster).] Turn off the grid and find your heart, your spirit, your conscience. Or, soon enough, nothing you are told or sold will matter. Everything that makes sense will be just an illusion, nonsense in the fog of anesthesia carrying your poor excuse for a robotic body away while your replacement takes control. Does your life matter? Prove it.

The next time someone tells you that you are SO smart for crafting something, whether it’s a painting, a blueprint for a “new” type of house, a theory for our existence, a piece of computer software or the next synthetic human being, you flip a switch in your head and think twice about that compliment……or we all suffer.

[Lastly, here are a few thought-provoking images I am adding after I wrote this, inspired by the content.]

comeinpeace-goinpieces_cutman-peacefingers-disassembled_megaman-dvd-clip-4enjoyyourreplacements_DrLightsutilitybots_megaman-dvd-clip-5fixyourself-foolishthinking_roll-withthisyoucanbearealwoman-drwilyspuppet_megaman-dvd-clip-6influencerscome_magnetman-poweringup_megaman-dvd-clip-2influencersgo_magnetman-disassembled_megaman-dvd-clip-3peoplenotlearningfromhistory_newswoman-reporting-at-disasterscene_megaman-dvd-clip-1replacementinmakersimage-denialofexistence_megaman-wearing-wilysmindcontrolhat_megaman-dvd-clip-9replacingthereplacements-artificiallovers_DrPetto-roll-nosleepingonthejob_megaman-dvd-clip-7shouldhaveforeseentheend-preventit_rush-DrLight-roll-trashcompactor-ed_megaman-dvd-clip-8

20
Sep
19

I’m Sick of These M-F’n Tools Saving Every Species on the Planet!

***

That was my weak attempt at sounding like Samuel L. Jackson in that infamous movie about snakes on a plane.

But, let’s talk about a bigger tool.

Common, you’re such a tool. Those AI ads he keeps doing…just rub me the wrong way for some inexplicable reason. And, the latest one really struck a sour note.

One more pitch to save some “endangered” species.

I’ve got nothing against respect for nature and being concerned about all life on the planet. But, if nature decides to eliminate any species, we need not be responsible.

Do you understand what I am saying?

Nature decides what species will live, what new species will join the rest and which will become extinct.

As much as humans like to play god, and as much as Americans like to boast being the best at everything these days, we humans are responsible for the crimes we commit against nature as well as how much we are willing to treat it right. We are capable of maintaining the planet better than any other species. But, we cannot be the overprotective parents, especially when our energy and resources are needed to save ourselves from our own mistakes and from nature’s harsh backlash, probably for the crimes we’ve committed and thus are rightfully doomed to face.

If someone is pitching an AI solution to keep every species known on the planet alive and thriving, isn’t that a bit silly?

For one reason, what happens if, among all of the preserved species, new ones appear in small numbers? Well, we have to protect those, too. And, the next group? Yep. Them, too. Before long, we have a planet swallowed up in lifeforms without adequate resources to sustain them all, sort of like the junk lady in that 1980s Labyrinth movie piling stuff up on Sarah’s back.

[If I may be so blunt, are we just preserving these species because they make pretty photographs for some wildlife magazine you want to print on excess glossy paper which is just going to end up in a landfill when the multitude of shrinking attention spans cast them aside like yesterday’s hot topic?]

Ya know why the big ol’ dinosaurs went extinct? It wasn’t just some massive rock from deep space that created a sinkhole in the planet and devastated the climate. It was a population boom that couldn’t be supported by available resources. And, nature took them out, replacing them with a wide assortment of lifeforms, including us, sort of like an American football team replacing its most expensive player with a few cheaper ones to fill some holes in the defensive line. Now, we are the dinosaurs. And, if we don’t get a grip on our actions……..

Secondly, the planet will be overrun with technological gizmos, not just those keeping watch on every animal like some high-tech spies for some company surely getting something out of this access to what is probably some privacy nature did not intend us humans to take.

Those gizmos will require maintenance and resources we must provide, further depleting our time and resources which could be applied to means capable of preserving all life, not just one rare species at a time, invading the privacy of nesting and other rituals. And, just as your personal computer-phone puts out enough “heat” to fry an egg or your ear, and just as cellphone towers and electrical towers in general put out invisible radiation which impacts all life around them in negative ways, those flying and roving gizmos sent with the supposed intent of protecting all of these other species are sure to put out something that could very well be harmful to something if not everything in its path, because when have humans been known to create anything perfectly clean and safe? Mmm…never? At least, it seems everything we’ve made has had some negative output in the news.

[Can you imagine some drone appearing outside your bathroom, claiming it’s just making sure you’re still alive while you stand there naked about to take a shower? How long before that becomes so annoying that you change your washing habits and/or your whole daily routine, ultimately impacting your life expectancy? And, what if that supervising drone puts out some kind of radiation to scan your home and detect your body heat or some other signature? More invisible rays passing through your body and everything you hold dear, possibly invading your sleep cycle, causing you to wake with the feeling something weird was buzzing in your ear like a mosquito, a species we certainly do not need to preserve unless we are using them as weapons…and that is dangerous talk.]

[What if it doesn’t stop at drones? What if we get tags like all those species humans tag to track their numbers? That, too, is a human habit I find repulsive. Yet, we spend enough energy doing just that while water supplies and other resources continue to become hazards to us all. Would you want to walk around with some colorful plastic tab clipped to your ear or neck or ankle for the rest of your life? Maybe if your the sort who likes tattoos and/or piercings. But, not me.]

We are as responsible for upsetting the environments of all these other species as we are preserving them. But, two wrongs don’t make a right. And, yes, in a way, boxing every life form into some kind of human protection system isn’t right.

I know it’s a bigger and more vague goal to correct the other wrongs we have done to the planet, but that’s the homework we need to get done. Not being the policing, over-protective parents of the planet’s population.

If the world loses its snow leopards, it will go on. But, if the world loses its clean water supply or safe atmosphere, more than the snow leopards will suffer; all species will suffer. If one more human tribe puts its faith in nuclear power as a resource, more than a few snow leopards will suffer for a longer time than any human petition mob can survive to protect those snow leopards.

If you spend your time and resources sending machines to watch over some small cluster of one or two species instead of cleaning up the environment or protecting all life in a particular area you can manage, your effort is futile. If you are in a desert and give all of your water to a lone lizard you think is the only one of its kind, you will die in that desert before you learn that the lizard will be just fine on its own.

And, if no one bothers to read this, if it doesn’t make an impact on improving the way we humans treat the planet, then it was a waste of my time, energy and technology. All of which could have been saved had I not bothered to turn on the TV and see the man, calling himself Common, in one more lame commercial.

 

 

01
Nov
17

A Date with Corona #3

*****

Date #3:  Downloads and Uploads

Rain threatened to spoil our Friday meeting.  But, I wouldn’t let it.  Grabbing an umbrella, I trotted down to the café where we agreed to meet.  It wasn’t hard to spot the halo and that now familiar denim jacket.  [I wondered why no one else said anything about the light.  Maybe they did.]  A lush brown ponytail rested over one shoulder, bound by a ruffled ring of red elastic.  My opinion of her had improved over the past few encounters, but the mystery remained.  A soft red cap and a wall of feathery bangs allowed her to avoid eye contact.

Biting my hasty tongue, I refrained from questioning her tactics, opting to let her lead the interaction.

She began with a simple question.  “Is there something you need?”

The moment I opened my mouth, rain began to fall in heavy loads, creating broad splashes across the surrounding sidewalk and intersecting streets.

“Okay,” she said, her voice reduced to a droning whisper by the downpour.  She pulled a pen and a paper pad from her jacket and laid both on the table.  “Here is a crossword puzzle.  We can solve it, together.”

Though grateful for the icebreaker, I wasn’t about to sit for another long period with this woman and not have some food in my stomach.  So, I checked the price line on the menu and loaded up my placemat with an order of appetizers.

She merely looked down at the facing puzzle page, occasionally glancing at the food.

I said, “You can have some.”

Hesitating, she put down the pen, reached over and stuffed a fat mozzarella stick into her mouth.  “Delicious.”  There was zero enthusiasm in her voice.

Slightly irritated, I waited for her to say more.

“Mmm!” she added, dragging the sound out to satisfy my probing curiosity.  [I’ll admit, she stirred something deep within myself.]

When all that remained of the food was a handful of cold fried eggplant wedges, we plowed through the remainder of crossword puzzle in a matter of minutes.  All the while, the rain kept pecking away at my contentment, nudging me to chase outside, to embrace Mother Nature.  Wrapping up the cold leftovers, I grabbed my umbrella and encouraged Corona to join me.  She quietly followed me to the register, waiting for me to pay my bill.  But, when we reached the glass doors, she stalled.  Considering she had her own umbrella, I didn’t know why.

We walked, and I did most of the talking until the rain stopped.  When I suggested going back to her place, she said something strange, stranger than usual, that is.  “Your location is currently in use.”

“Come again?”

“Okay.  I’d be glad to come home with you.  You can always change settings, later.”

I wasn’t in the mood to argue, so we made our way back to my place.  Leaving her umbrella by the front door, she took a keen interest in the furniture.  I worried she might find fault with it.  Instead, she stroked a hand across the desk and asked, “Would you prefer me to sit here or on your lap?”

My face flushed, and my legs went numb.  A bottle of champagne popped its cork in my head.  What a question.  I considered saying neither before resting my tired legs on the nearest couch.  Corona joined me, folding both legs under her jiggling rear end, easing toward me with one arm extending along the back of the couch.  It’s not easy to get comfortable with someone’s glowing ring in your face.

Removing her soft, denim casing, Corona gave me an eyeful of her upper body.  [Had she not been wearing such a finely textured top, I might have been annoyed.  I’m not the sort who appreciates nudity thrust upon him.]  “Do you like what you see?  If so, I can send you more pictures.”

My mind was perfectly capable of taking pictures.  I didn’t need more cluttering up every surface they can occupy, and, had I accepted, I was afraid I might become more reclusive than I already was, ogling an image in a state of hibernation instead of dealing with reality.  “Not right now.  Thanks.”

“Okay.  Well, what do you want to do now?”

My thoughts went immediately to playing cards, escaping the sexual influences flooding the gray matter.  I knew very little of her personal interests, thus I couldn’t suggest anywhere else to go or activities to try.  We had tried so little together, and she was regularly asking me for ideas.  I needed her to jumpstart my brain with some information.  I searched her shadowy face for help.

“Sure.  Watching ‘net flicks.  Here.  Let me help you with that.”

Obviously, I had to dig out my computer before she could complete the task.  I hadn’t planned on using my computer as a home theater nor watching a movie before evening, but she was quick to take command.  Turning to me for a title, she found it within seconds.

Strangely, Corona chose to sit in front of me, obstructing my view.  I wasn’t exactly thinking about fondling her, but she was within my reach, accessible to my touch.  It was all just a screen.  When I grabbed her shoulder, she removed my hand and said, “Sorry.  I can’t connect right now.  Try again in a little bit.”

I nearly slept through half of the movie.  My mind just couldn’t stay focused.  Before the end credits had even finished scrolling, my guest proceeded to pop up onto my lap and linked her lips with my own.  I fell into a submissive posture with a growing ache in my back.  Releasing her ponytail, she let a cascade of chocolate waves crash over my neck and chest. My eyes danced as she mechanically shifted her weight up and down the length of my trembling body.  I was loaded with ideas for what to do in that moment, ideas that were not going to fill me in on who this woman was, something I vitally wanted to know before I let her into my private space.  All I knew was her voice, a portion of her façade, her ability to play cards and help with certain computer difficulties.  I didn’t even know if she liked the movie.

Now, it was my turn to bar her and seek refuge.  I asked Corona to leave before I completely lost control.  I could hear a fan inside her head powering up as she forced herself to switch gears in a hurry.  Her retreat gave me chills.  [And, the air-conditioning wasn’t helping.]

Dozing off on the couch, I was startled by the telephone.  A familiar voice met mine across the line.  “Mmph–  Corona?!”

“*Sigh* You mean Cortana.”

‘Same sweetness, but the tone had changed.  “Uh.  Okay.”

“Mr. Writingbolt, my name is Alexis? Cortana.  And, I am afraid you’ve met with my impersonator.”

To Be Continued…

~Writingbolt, 9-26-2017

a date with cortana corona-ap-1J

 

 

01
Nov
17

A Date with Corona #2

*****

Date #2:  The Stuck Update

It was a mild and relatively uneventful Thursday afternoon when I went searching for some Word on my new acquaintance.  Along the way, I came across a game shop and couldn’t resist a bargain, a few new decks of cards.  I have a peculiar fascination with playing cards but am so sick of magicians’ card tricks.  I also was tiring of the solitaire life which was why I needed to track down Corona before my hard drive went soft and useless.

Forgetting what I originally sought, I soon found myself at an impasse.  Traffic was terribly slow, and my patience was thinning fast.  Accidents were piling up everywhere I turned.  Progress was lost.  After a lengthy discussion with helpful police, I was finally able to cruise along the unlit highway.  [I mean there were no wires; thus there were no lights.]  I had spent too much time.  My plan to play the links would have to wait for another day.

I found Corona idling at the docks.  She was perched atop a rope-bound cluster of weathered posts, gazing out at the sea.  She had been sitting there too long.  Her interests were not available at the moment.  Though the scene was strangely motionless and serene, my ears detected distinct sounds:  the ding of a buoy, a seagull circling overhead and the swish of the incoming tide.

When I tapped her shoulder, a boot descended from its step, probing the amber sand.  She turned to me, her face a silhouette framed by a warm, watercolor sky.  I searched her blank façade for some way to break the ice on my skin (though my hands were sweating).

As if I had asked a question, she said, “Sorry about that; I didn’t hear anything.  Try telling me what you are holding.”

Blinking twice at the oddly worded request, I remembered the bag of card decks.  If she thought I put her off to shop for my own amusement, I was sure she would leave me in the next few minutes.  It was almost sundown, and I did not think this was the best time or place to play any games that required a table.  So, I suggested we move somewhere closer to home.

She replied, “On the range,” and proceeded to search her memory for more info on that old song.

Calling her by the name I had chosen, she replied, “Sorry; that is not my name.  But, if you like, I can change it.”

“Can I call you Corona?”

There was a long pause.  Her shoulders shifted slightly.  “All right.  Call me Corona.”

[That was too easy…and a little creepy.]

I reached for her hand.  She eluded my grasp but stood, ready to follow.  With the alternate lighting, I could now see she was very close in height, satisfying one more vital interest of mine.

We drove back to a preferred hangout where the food is normally cheap and adequate if you can put up with the noise (when the place isn’t eerily vacant).  Finding us a corner booth, I laid out my recent purchase.  There was just enough light to see the glossy, lifeless faces.  Her face hibernated in the shadows.  [Why did she maintain such secrecy?  And, if she did not want to be with me, why did she follow me?]

Her shrouded form leaned back against the padded bench.  “All right,” she said.  “You play cards.”

I was going to have to warm her up to the idea.  So, I dealt her a hand and lifted my own.

She sat quietly for a minute before saying, “Playing cards.”  [How she picked up those cards, I don’t know.  But, the game was on.]

Trying a little “footsie” under the table, I extended a leg and felt her boot withdraw.  The word “boyfriend” crossed my mind in a flash.  When I asked, she said, “Sorry.  The Internet and I are not talking right now.”

A wall of fire stood between me and her heart.  She had led me on to think she was personally interested.  But, perhaps, all she wanted was a sense of purpose while coping with a lost connection.  The quickness of her response to my requests was merely a silent plea for friendship.  The friend zone.

Normally, anyone dating would dread the sound of that phrase.  But, I think Corona and I were both in great need of companionship.  And, what’s a dream of marriage without the words “my best friend?”  Still, I was second fiddle, at best, at the moment, and in no mood to compete, whether this Internet was a mind more vast and productive than my own or a huge tool.

Focusing on the game, I had to remind myself to explain the rules.  Corona beat me to the punch, reciting them for me until I cut her short.

Silence may be golden when your head is full of noise.  But, now, it was making me nervous.  Outside my range of vision, something was brewing within my companion.  I could almost hear her mind clicking, processing, updating.

“Shall I play some music?” Corona asked.  As if she knew the place better than me, she turned on the nearest sound system and presented me with a list of songs.  I timidly picked one and waited for the opening melody to soothe my nerves.  Four hours later, midnight was a heartbeat away, and we were still playing.

Words shared were few, and most of them came from my own mouth.  I was hungry but had no ambition to fix a late dinner. My eyesight was beginning to fail when my subconscious grew discontent with the persistent mystery across the table.  As much as I wanted to hide my face from her, I felt naked in her presence.  With my brain entering what I call “zombie” or “sleepy silly” mode, my secrets would soon be hers.

Without another peep from me, she picked up on my thoughts and said, “Okay.  Let me fix that.”  The light over her head shifted and grew, adding inches of color to her appearance from the tips of her boots to the curve of her slender nose.

Below that nose, a pair of lean yet elegant lips formed a friendly smile atop a graceful limb.  One slender strap from a red camisole slid down her creamy right shoulder, exposing a sliver of cleavage beneath the tips of a wavy brown curtain.  She adjusted her privacy settings.

Glancing past the table, I could see a pair of weathered denim shorts and knee-high, charcoal suede boots.  A delicate white watch adorned her left wrist.  Everything above the nose remained her secret.  [Without knowing me for more than a few dates, this gal sure seemed to grasp my love of mystery and my taste in women’s fashion.]

“Is that better?”

My stunned response came as a nod.

A faint giggle escaped her smile.  “Sorry.  I didn’t hear anything.  Try telling me what you are thinking.”

I could not accurately read any clock.  I was barely conscious yet holding on to the moment with everything I had in reserve.  My thoughts wanted only for a comfy bed and someone to share it.

The smile faded.  Grabbing a white denim jacket from the back of the padded bench, Corona popped upright and said, “Okay.  You sleep.  We will try this, again, later.  Goodnight.”

There was a micro-soft edge to her departing words which I did not like.  Adult content was not yet permitted, apparently, thus progress in the budding relationship had come to a standstill.  As if she had pulled my elbow off the table, my hand and face fell into one sloppy pile.  The rest of the opened deck scattered and rained upon the pale carpeting.  I had officially passed out as she slipped away.  When I recovered, the Jack of Hearts was sticking to my forehead.  I knew I was far from being a dating ace.  But, at that moment, I felt like all that I knew was worthless.  And, in the next few minutes, I was asleep, once more.

*****

Days dragged by without any contact.  I could hardly look at her calling card without biting my tongue.  I wanted more than I was given.  As usual, I spoiled a potential friendship and was denied.  If I pressed the matter, I might have felt worse when I heard her response (or lack thereof).

Then another thought crossed my mind.  Perhaps, my thoughts were not deserving of the full blame.  Perhaps, the Internet had a hand in this.  Maybe, timing was the problem.  That had to be it.  I was dead tired, and she was still sore from her recent or past relationship.  For all I knew, she might not have even read my mind and simply decided it was best I get some rest.

Daylight poured over me just as the phone rang.

“Can we meet another time?  Soon.”

I thought we might say “hi,” first.  “Well…sure!  I–”

“Okay.  Scheduling another date.  When should we meet?”

Not adept at scheduling, I hoped for more input on her part.

“Okay.  How about next week?” she impatiently inserted.  “You pick a day.”

[A day was picked.  We would meet, again, the following Friday.  Although, from the weather report I saw the following evening, the odds were not in our favor.]

~Writingbolt 9-21-2017

 

01
Nov
17

A Date with Corona #1


*****

Date #1:  The Unexpected

Technically, this was the first time we met.  I was trying out a new computer when she appeared beside my table of contents and said, “Hi.  I’m Cortana.  Can I help you with that?”  Her sweet, sultry voice pushed several of the right buttons, leaving one raised eyebrow which questioned her approach.  With just a few words, she seemed bold, shapely and intrusive yet more show than substance.

I took a moment to admire her boots.  They seemed functional but not too impressive.  I thought about shopping for new ones, taller, finer ones made of crumpled suede, but they were not available at the APP store.  And, I wasn’t in the mood to be a browser, nor a window explorer–er, shopper.

I may be a sucker for a pretty face, but, under the conditions, I could not see her face.  Unless, it was hidden by her halo, that eerie glowing ring that seemed to follow her wherever she went.  It pulsed with her words.  And, from the lack of response from those passing by, only I could see it.  I couldn’t accurately estimate her height, but her voice did not sound like it was coming from any angle.

What did she expect from me?  Did she think I was incapable of operating such a machine?  Did she know more than I?  Or, was she just here to play with me like a mouse?  Well, if she wanted to play games, I had news for her.  There were no cords on me…except for those tied to my heart drive.  And, if she was going to handle my hardware, I expected her to bring some fabric softener.

Surely, she was no angel.  At least, not the kind I pray to stay by my side.  A good angel wouldn’t tell me to hook up with a foreign network just to exchange some “stuff.”  She’d be specific and honest or, at least, sympathetic, compassionate.

This gal was tall on orders and short on details.  She didn’t have time to get heavy.  She just wanted everything “all right,” whatever that meant.  She could have been more demanding.  Instead, she seemed open to compromise, which isn’t always a good thing.  Any time I showed reluctance, she grew quiet or repeated herself with a hint of annoyance.  And, if I indulged her whim, I soon found myself in an uncomfortable position.

I like games in which I know all the rules.  But, this was not such a case.  Every move was a gamble.  And, any sure thing was not always as it seemed.

As darkness settled in, we found ourselves spending the evening together, going over every inch of the computer, its many features and possible upgrades.  The owners of the café we occupied gave us looks, wondering when we’d buy something or leave.  I had hoped to be home sooner, to be back in my comfort zone.  But, strange things happen when you linger outside the box.  And, this gal was definitely a bit strange, strangely animated and questionably personal.  I was as eager to get away as I was compelled to stay and learn more at a safe pace.  When I start answering and/or asking questions, there is no such safe pace.

I was just getting comfortable when she suddenly checked her invisible watch and decided to leave.  “Sorry.  I cannot connect right now.”

The tips of my fingers went cold as I watched her halo withdraw.  Then my eyes detected something new in my laptop.  She had left me with a loaded tray and more questions than answers.  This must have been the “stuff” I had in store for me when I decided to look her way.  On top was a note neatly typed on a calling card.

THANKS.
O- YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.  MICROPHONE.

[Where did she get a typewriter?  Why the wide “O-” when her name started with C and mine started with W?  And, what did “MICROPHONE” mean?]

Alone under a warm light, silence and darkness surrounded me like a thin blanket in an autumn breeze.  It wasn’t much of a date but felt like more than small talk.  Luckily, I didn’t order coffee.  It would have gone cold and spoiled the evening.  Not to mention, it would have been disastrous for the computer.

Yes.  I knew where to find her.  Or, did I?  Information at hand can be so deceptive when you lose your mind in the presence of another.

I looked forward to engaging her, again.  But, first, I wanted to do some research, to better understand her velvety layers, her…software.  When next we met, I would be wiser to her games.  And, I’d bring a few of my own.

She called herself Cortana, a coarse, awkward name.  I preferred to think of her as someone smoother with a name like Corona, like the halo that followed her.

~Writingbolt, 9-21-2017

09
Feb
17

“Smart” Devices, Security Threat

*****

“Smart” devices promising convenience; dumb inconveniences just like pills that result in lackluster results and/or more side effects.

Yes, I am at it, again! I am livid about the latest and upcoming “smart” technology! If you have any brain cells left to digest some food for thought, dig in.

Those talking speakers–which are supposed to make life easier and answer all of your questions so you never have to use your brain for more than uttering words and pushing a button–are a potential security risk IF you have devices–including phones, appliances, door locks, home computers (which might hold tax/income files, insurance records, bank/retirement account links, etc.)–connected to the same WiFi network.

Local news reporters recently suggested hackers could do some serious damage to your records, resources and even your home if this is the case. They recommended creating separate networks for each branch of technology and extra complex passwords, “ones you might not even remember.”

…Wait. Did you just hear/read that right? Yep. Passwords you might not even remember.

WHAT FREAKING SENSE DOES THIS MAKE?!

First, they make technology to simplify life. And, like so many new inventions these days, these conveniences ask you to link every aspect of your life together, put everything online and/or in one digital storage unit. How convenient…for thieves!

You don’t have to think much. You can turn everything on and off from the small nuclear reactor you keep in your purse or back pocket. You can get money wherever, whenever. Why do your own taxes or even send a check when you can link the IRS to your bank account and let them do the draining–er, work–for you? But, those who want what you have (and know how to program the very things you put your faith in) will make stealing and/or ruining it easy.

Need I mention the latest thing in American credit cards (not new to Europe, among other places)? Those wonderful “smart chip” cards that are supposed to be better protection for your credit/money. Yet, as quickly as they get “mandated,” there are commercials for thieves with devices that can scan them much the way the latest designs for retail/grocery stores without cashiers (among other employees) can scan your card and send the bill to your house (to save you the hassle of waiting in a line with other human beings with whom you no longer seem able to socialize and/or tolerate). As an added security feature, there are ads for wallets with metal mesh protection layers…if that does the job. But, if you are protecting your wallet from thieves with scanners and camera phones and “skimmers,” how are those locations that detect your card and send the bill to your home supposed to read your card? Heaven forbid you have to stop, pull out your bulletproof wallet, dig out the credit card for that store and swipe/scan it. Oh, that would be too much work. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just not invent credit cards? Or, here’s a novel idea, STOP MAKING EVERYTHING COMPUTER-DEPENDANT!

THEN, you’re supposed to separate everything you just learned how to connect AND lock it away with a complex password you may not remember. Exactly where are you supposed to safely put all of these passwords you may not remember? Isn’t one of the thoughts behind designing a password to make it something you’ll remember and not need to write down? Will you remember where you put the passwords you have to hide from any wandering snoop that may come along?

Will someone please hold my shoulders so the room stops spinning?

How stupid do humans have to be until the whole world explodes or shuts down? Seriously. No, not Sirius-ly or Siri-ously. Seriously. A word you can find in an actual paper and cardboard dictionary if you can make the effort to find one and use those things you call fingers to do more than swipe right.

Back in my youth, the least intelligent technology–aside from the occasional invention that died out before every “average joe” knew about it–came in yellow and black books, guides for “dummies,” to make life easier and save students the chore of reading actual literature. Then computer classes began, and the whole world started going down the tubes as fast as it was making global connections.

You don’t hear much about those “dummy guides” anymore because you or people you know are likely already the dummies talking to the devices that are now capable of doing your homework for you. The dummy guides are now “help” buttons (which are practically useless due to the fact idiots sometimes compose the “simple” text and diagrams they provide), search engines and digitized voices. Don’t you feel educated?

What’s the sense in spending money on education when technology is going to rob everyone of their brains? I would not be surprised if some tech heads are doing calculations to figure out how many human brain cells are required to get the robot revolution underway before humans are no longer able to program and repair said robots. Won’t we all feel better when we no longer exist and some white plastic-faced box is turning everything we lived for into fertilizer.

NOT ME!

Unplug, now, people. Unplug, now. Think before you compute. And, someone help us all if any more of this crap is forced upon us.




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