Posts Tagged ‘binary

17
Dec
22

Sorry, Non-Binary People; You Are Not Special


***

That’s right. You might want to be called “they” and separate yourself from every other person who has coped with their sexual identity, whether they’ve had to hide in a closet, endured bullies most of their lives or had no trouble rising to the top of society because they were blessed with that potent human gene called influence. You, non-binary claimers, are not special.

And, you cannot be without gender and non-binary…because I am non-binary. I am a non-binary heterosexual man who definitely is a hair, face and breast man with not much interest in waistlines or butts, a strong slant on the height of potential partners and a slight foot fetish that comes from working in a department store’s shoe department.

How can I be non-binary AND all of the above you say?

Let me break it down for ya.

Binary code is ones and zeroes. So, if anyone is non-binary, that must mean you don’t want to be a zero and cannot feel sufficiently top of whatever class you choose to attend. You are not number one, the best, in your chosen field.

That about sums up myself. I don’t want to be a zero, even if some people tell me I am one. I’ve wanted to be number one for a long time. But, after a few decades of failing to achieve that status, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s okay to be number two…or four…or seventy-seven.

So, I am non-binary. Just not *that* non-binary (the one that is supposed to mean I’m neither male or female).

And, I guess, that makes most if not all humans non-binary.

If you think of yourself as a zero, you’re such a tool that you’d rather be a brick in the wall than an individual who should be respected for your unique composition, even if you might fit into various categories like nerd, jock, tea fetcher, mistress, jon, jerk, moron, etc.

If you *think* you’re number one, shut up. Your ego is glaring. [I know…because I once had some of that ego, after accepting too many compliments about my intellect.]

And, if you *are* top of your kind, craft or profession, whatever that may be, aren’t you lucky to possess such influence.

In all infuriating honesty and my personal opinion, this whole non-binary thing is just another “woke” moment and TikTok trend; it’s an ice-bucket challenge someone started to show they have sway. I know the feeling…I just have yet to have that amount of sway. I do not have thousands of followers. I cannot lead a Nazi army to WW3. My mitochondria–or however you spell that–are not that abundant. [But, I am sure my boys can still swim. I just keep them out of the public pool.]

Ten years from now, there will surely be another trendy way to identify oneself which will draw another crowd and infuriate anyone outside the submission line. And, I’ll be there (unless my time here, in this mixed-up, not-quite-right world, is done) with a different amount of hair, ready to groan, again.

Tell me. If you’re not ANY gender, how do propose to ever mate? I suppose, if you were homosexual, you’d have to adopt or use an “artificial” method. Is that how it works for you? If you’re a non-binary…uh…”they” with a snake between your legs…you adopt? And, if you have a clam between your legs, you get a turkey baster stuck up your crack and filled with man jelly?

Wait. A non-binary person accepting man-jelly into their non-gender outlet…which would technically be a female organ, if the rest of the world has any say…and doesn’t see the gender stamp on any of that?

Or, do non-binary folks expect to die sterile and alone? Are you so withdrawn from the–I know it sucks because it’s uncomfortable and too often mean–modern world that you’d prefer to die in a box, alienated from the rest of the world?…unless, by some global movement, everyone turns non-binary, the way vegans wish the world would stop eating cows and other animals?

If you need a ray of hope in this hot mess I’ve just slung at you, perhaps, you are the future. Perhaps, in some distant future, when humankind has given up on marriage and sex–ha–they will convert to non-binary beings and asexually reproduce…in a lab or some transporter incident which turns some into fly-people or crab-people.

I tried.

Happy holidays, whatever you are.

 




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