Posts Tagged ‘Chiefs

20
Dec
24

Goodbye, Tay Swift

***

If you’ll hear me out, I need to Speak Now. I’ve been a Tay Swift fan since 2009. I’ve been amassing fan art of my own creation since then, as well. For a number of years, weeks before every December, I’ve made a special effort to make something for her birthday.

I’m not a typical fan, though. And, after recent relationship news, I’m rather certain my years of being inspired by Tay are over. I just can’t go on with this. She’s made her choice. She got the guy she wanted in that song about her being on the bleachers. She wanted the letterman jacket and the jock boyfriend she didn’t get in school. There he is. And, I’m not okay with it. I endured so many of her relationships. I held onto a foolish hope…a dream. Now, I’m putting it to bed.

Good luck, Tay. And, quite possibly, goodbye. You’re officially a monster in my closet, now.

I’m no longer a Swifty.

So, go ahead and put out thirty more albums before you’re actually at an age when you can talk about eras. Keep using those coded messages with your birthdate and other things; I’m not looking. I’m not chasing any other songs. When you’re on the radio, I’m tuning you out. I’ll leave the building if I have to just to keep calm. I’m not writing more poetry. I’m not going to sneak you into anymore of my stories. I’m not painting more posters. You’ve seen the last birthday present from me. [Actually, you’ve probably seen none of my presents because this place is dead, like MySpace.]

If I can’t be your Capital One, if you can’t give me credit for being someone who thought he was a really good match, I’m a lower-case zero.

But, it’s going to take some time to Shake It Off, this Love Story. I’m turning my Back to December and leaving a Blank Space for some miracle to fill. The only Bad Blood will be between me and those who ridicule me for caring, including my own family. Apparently, my feelings have been Out of Style for some time, and I Need to Calm Down.

Now, if all one of my readers will excuse me, I have to go deal with fifteen years of artwork in storage. I’m just glad I didn’t spring for the Eras Tour package. And, I don’t have to see the Cats movie, anymore. I guess I have to stop enjoying the Lorax animated movie. And, sorry, Chiefs, I can’t be your fan, either. You did this. Have an unhappy Valentine’s Day, courtesy of me. I think I’ll go find John Mayer and Tom Hiddleston…’sympathize with my former enemies…’take up drinking until I can’t see straight.

Sincerely, Writingbolt, a broken heart.

06
Dec
23

We Were So Close, Tay (Swift)! Packers Football Game, Dec. 3, 2023

*****

Oh, Tay. Oh! TAY! WE WERE SO CLOSE!

I could feel the electricity in the air. ‘Not the energy of your raging fans, all of those who were in the know or so financially “hooked up” that they could just run to get a glimpse of you at Lambeau Field. I didn’t have a flag. I didn’t have any bracelets. I didn’t have any Era Tour swag. I didn’t have a slick custom Boba-Fett costume, probably made with an expensive 3-D printer, wanting to get TV time to show that off by lumping myself in with the “Swifties.” I didn’t have tickets. But, I had a decent seat…at home…seeing those glimpses of you aired at home. I was sufficiently warm, and my sensitive ears didn’t have to fight the roar of the crowd…ya know…cuz I wouldn’t have the luxury of a premium box. No. I’d be stuck among the buzzed drunks who are torn between sucking up their own snot and downing another beer in those chilly seats.

[I may not have been there, that night. But, I was at a December Packers game, once, when Favre was still king (about to be exiled). And, I know how cold it can be. I can still remember trying to take pictures, my camera fogging up and my whole body shivering…and the drunk guy in front of me, about to fall down three rows, topless and out of his mind, looking like the lead singer of Green Day.]

I think I saw less of you than they showed at a previous Chiefs game, when they couldn’t get enough of you cuddling up with someone’s family (and probably a few security guards at the door).

Oh, Tay. I think our proximity worked some magic on that game. After all, what other time would there be two Taylors on opposite sides of the field…along with a #13 (and a #11). [I don’t understand how Patrick M. never played at Lambeau Field until that night.] For the woman who once sang a charming Love Story, you had Love’s story unfolding before you. You might have been dressed like a Chief, but you were Pack’d in green and gold (and in my rapidly beating heart). And, there were so many little moments when numbers were magical and/or coincidental; it made me think of you (and myself) and how you like to code and number things, trying to be sneaky and clever. Honestly, I think you and I would have SO much fun finding the magic little numbers in moments (and taking all of the credit).

[I suppose the easiest way for a fan to get close to you is to be at one of your concerts. But, I wouldn’t be content with that, nor comfortable. I couldn’t take much of the noise or crowd. And, what good would it do me to be kept at such a poor visual range and physical distance just to go back home alone? ‘Chances of getting backstage or within arm’s reach?…not likely. I might as well be in the Garden of Eden, looking at the apple incident from fifty shades away.]

I was nearly set on making a last-minute road trip to find you (repeatedly calling out, “ROAD TRIP!”), but no one I know was on board. No. You have no fans among my family. But, I don’t exile you for your celebrity status the way they do. I may not agree with your dating style (and am definitely not a fan of your dating history). I may not be the biggest fan of your entire “era” of music. [I have certain songs I enjoy, to some extent.] I retain a glimmer of hope that there is more to you than all the cameras capture. I want to believe you are torn between being a good show and true to something warmer, brighter and more uplifting. And, no matter what shade of blonde your hair seems to be in the moment (you know how I feel about that), you retain a certain demi-goddess-like quality.

[I’ll be honest, though, that belief is getting strained; and I partly blame myself for not being more direct and active in reaching you. I realize I don’t have any of the right connections and need to step up somehow…I’m just not sure how. On that note, I thought this was a nice little way of being witty and saying I still…like you…awlought. Don’t ever make me a hater.]

If resources were available…if I had the means to reach you…I would have been there, beside you, in a heartbeat (wearing a Packers #10 jersey and, probably, a Cheesehead hat). I wouldn’t be comfortable sitting among more rabid fans who practically wear you like a second skin, get drunk, sing karaoke versions of your music and then wake up the next morning in a haze with vomit breath. [It’s what some Wisconsinites do.] Instead, I settle for thinking I was with you, in spirit, because we are always linked in a sort of telepathic way, in the stars. And, you’ll excuse me if I chuckle…just a little…at how the game ended. There was a definite bit of pass interference that went unchecked. But, your boy was not in the right place to catch anything and not the one who was victim of the ignored foul; I think that was #11. Typical.

If you want to blame someone for the Chiefs losing, you can blame me…and you. It was our link that helped the Packers win. That’s my love story, and I’m sticking to it. If you don’t like it, you can just shake it off.

As one televised fan quoted, “You belong with me.” We just have to figure out how to make that happen. [Heh.]

In case we don’t see each other before then, happy birthday, beautiful.

[We were so close!]

*****

[I post this with semi-sound mind, knowing it will less likely be seen by Tay, herself, than it will be snatched up by some crappy internet leech looking for content to link to their deceptive website with all of its tricky pop-ups. I post it, as I have my other posts about Tay Swift, as a sort of thought or prayer put out into the universe, however it may reach her. May it travel by wing or kind messenger.]

14
Feb
23

Anyone Wanna Talk About the Latest Super Bowl?

***

What number Super Bowl was this? I don’t really care. And, if you’re feeling like me, after this latest game, you’d say the same.

This is my personal outlook on the latest Super Bowl, between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles. If you didn’t have a cluster of friends beside you during the game and your share of commentary, this review is for you, you anti-social and/or introverted folks. I need to vent. So, here I go.

It fell flat. All of it. It fell flat, like a lousy soda, like a lame beer. There was no call for champagne. No bubbly.

Why?

1) Advertising. Super Bowl commercials are often legendary. This year? I think I enjoyed movie trailers more than most of the ads. Oh, like last year, there were a few chuckles. The refrigerator gags were like weak attempts at knock-knock jokes that looked funny but didn’t really earn a laugh. [Oh. There’s so-in-so; this is supposed to be funny. So, why am I not laughing?] But, every time I saw someone post a QR code, I wanted to hurl and scream. Is that the future of advertising? QR codes to steer you somewhere else, away from the TV? Go on telling me how expensive Super Bowl ads are. Whatever. I’ll just play the tiny violin. You are BS. This year’s commercials fell flat. I fell for the hype and was disappointed. Who’s the parrot? Who gives a crap. I don’t know enough sports players to get excited when I see one come out of a costume. I don’t care who they are.

Yay for women getting to knock themselves as senseless as the men in sports. And, yay for African Americans in advertising. Meh.

2) The ever-so-anticipated Rihanna half-time show. Again. Hype. The reality? It went flat. It was a dazzling display of suspended cellphones and waaaay too many people dressed in the same white duds, moving in what seemed like perfect coordination. And, there were pointless fireworks thrown in to generate cheap oohs and aahs. Lame sauce.

I adore Rihanna. But, her outfit was tacky and blinding. It wasn’t anything like the one they kept showing her in before the show, the fuzzy green thing with her hair done up like a mess of vines in the air. Where was that? Oh. She was pregnant…again? I didn’t even notice. On my TV, all I saw was a blinding wash of reddish pink. News reports say she flashed her baby bump. ‘Guess I missed that.

No collaboration? Well, that would be fine if she did at least one outfit change or had bands of back-up dancers with various colors/costumes. But, no. None of that. Just a straight-up, cut-short concert with a Target or T-Mobile color scheme. Psh. Weak. Disappointing. ‘Not a halftime show but a CD sampler for some streaming service; if you like what you hear, scan the QR code to buy digital copies (not hard copies) of her tracks. I thought, for a moment, she was performing in a virtual stadium/studio, projecting images over the stadium for TV viewers (and on screens for those in the stadium).

3) A tie game that ends on a shady technicality. There was no pride in that State-Farm win. The Chiefs were handed the trophy in a stadium sponsored by the insurance company with their quarterback in the pocket of wealthy men. This was not a game won at the last second. This was not a game won with effort. It was won by a bad call followed by the draining of the clock and an easy field goal. Strategy? Sure. Whoever screwed the Eagles for calling holding on a guy who just grazed the back of a Chief. That was enough to shut the Eagles down, ay? Bull crap.

So, enjoy your stolen victory, ya ‘Homes. You’re not my ‘Homes, right now. I’m sore, to be honest. I’m not proud of your win, Chiefs. You could have done better. You easily could have gotten one more touchdown and let the Eagles have a shot at something, even if it meant overtime. But, to win on a bad call. That’s just wrong.

I guess State Farm really was there to ensure the Chiefs won…in their stadium…with billionaires in attendance. Sniff-sniff. ‘Smells like the Cowboys dynasty to me; all diamonds and cash flow, without a trace of human decency.

[I realize the Chiefs couldn’t exactly reverse the penalty to give the Eagles a chance. But, some jerk pushed that button to get the call. And, I have a baseball bat waiting for him.]

11
Feb
21

So Much for Super Bowls…*hiccup!*

*****

Did I miss the latest Super Bowl?  When was that?  February 7th?  Sunday?  Oh darn.

Actually, I watched most of it.  I just wish I had missed the game…because I swear I knew how it would go.  I swear I relived the horrible thing that it was, except I don’t remember the commercials.  I just remember hating Tom Brady and his lot.  But, I remember him in Patriot attire, not Buccaneer.

The GOAT they call him.  HA!  Yea, he’s a goat, all right.  A goat that consumes his weight in water every day, or so I’ve heard.  Shouldn’t that make him the CAMEL?  The Careless Arsehole Making…Entertainment…Lousy?  It’s a work in progress.  I’ll hopefully get back to you on that one.  [I’m open to suggestions.]

I am just SO glad the commentators mentioned the nagging referees.  I am betting Brady’s company had a hand in that.  Sure.  On top of all the other scandals attached to his success, now we load up some refs with money and charm stuffed in their pockets.  Brady was first on the field that day; want to bet he made contact with the first-ever female ref?  I would not be surprised.  Put in a good word for me.  Wink.  Thanks, sweetheart.  Giselle means nothing.

Why did it seem like the Chiefs’ offensive line was crumbling around Mahomes and his bad toe/foot?  ‘Because they were afraid of being penalized for HOLDING.  Too often, the Chiefs were getting holding penalties.  And, in one instance, one Chief brushes against Brady while saying something.  And, that was inappropriate conduct.  Brady is even caught smirking, gloating in response to the penalty call.

At the start of the game, the commentators were in favor of the Chiefs winning.  By the end of the game, they were praising Brady, claiming he “did his thing.”  I am confused.  Back in the day, Brady’s thing was stellar quarterback skill.  At least, I thought it was.  I thought he was just so good that I had to admire AND hate him; that he rivaled Brett Favre and Joe Montana.  Now, is it fraud?  Is his skill swindling authorities to get his way?  He didn’t subscribe to advertising like so many other players.  [How many commercials featured Chiefs players and/or Packers’ Aaron Rodgers?  Were there Brady ads shown exclusively in Florida?]

As far as I could tell, Brady only benefitted from the excessive discipline of referees, aka penalties.  He didn’t even break a sweat!…in Florida!  He just walked down the field and planted the ball in hand-picked hands that didn’t have to spike it.  The whole experience was like watching a monopoly buy out some small store/company.  Congrats.  Now, Bob’s Search Engine is a Koogle-head and being turned into a grocery store chain for Biff Jezos.

And if the painful ending wasn’t bad enough…

  1. Lacking commercials.  Advertising was definitely missing something…like alcohol.  Even the ever-horse-trotting Budweiser was amiss with some hints at a non-alcoholic beverage I never saw clearly.  That wasn’t even a commercial!  It was a magazine clipping they kept showing on TV.  Half of the commercials were for local broadcasting TV shows.  Doritos and M&Ms were the highlights, and even they were lost in a boring sea.  Jason Alexander was fishing for a show about nothing, reminiscing about his sweater days with a chocolate-sauce stain.  And, there were SO many pitches for African-American awareness…claiming Patrick Mahomes (I had no idea) was also “black”…on a night when the whitest guys in the place took all the joy out of the stadium……  [To be continued]
  2. Victory parade madness.  ……[continued]….and threw the Lombardi trophy over open waters, while drunk, like it didn’t even matter, like it was some souvenir football tossed into the crowd.  I don’t even want to know why that happened.  I care but don’t want to know.  It’s just nuts.  It’s stupid.  It’s careless.  Which brings me back to my point about the CAMEL.  So much for all that noble talk about teamwork and good sportsmanship.  Bull-diddly-shat.

Yep.  That about sums it up.  ‘Not even 3 points to give.  ‘Not even a field goal.  ‘Because it wasn’t worth all the effort or spectacle.  It wasn’t worth the risk to everyone’s health/safety.  It wasn’t worth Black History Month and all the other merits achieved by those involved.  It was a lame joke and cruel punishment to Patrick Mahomes and his team.  Granted, if Mahomes knew he had that bad foot, he probably should not have been playing…but you know how people can pressure you to take risks.

[‘Which leads me back to the game between the Packers and Buccaneers, the one that gave Brady’s hand-picked victory-ensured team (of two) the open door to score another lame ring and grand (but not valued) trophy.   There were numerous opportunities when Rodgers could have run with the ball to aid his team.  But, he did not run for fear of more injuries, like his previous collar-bone, hand and leg fractures.  He was scared stiff.  Thankfully…or luckily?…that was not Brady’s fault.  Had I been battered like Rodgers, I might have been apprehensive, too.  But, where’s that cushy insurance package he’s always pitching?  Where’s his good neighbor?  I guess that’s bogus, too, Drake.]

The BEST part of Super Bowl 2021?  Surprisingly, that was the halftime show with The Weekend.  I am hardly a fan of the guy.  I amazingly recognized a few of the songs.  I thought he did a stellar job of working the entire field and light shows.  The countless characters wearing real-estate-grunt suits and facial underwear were a bit unsettling.  But, the whole worked rather well.  No fear of audience interfer–

Oh, wait.  There was that one streaker who put everyone at risk at the riskiest of times.  [I wonder how that impacted the “social-distancing” crisis.]

What was I talking about?  Never mind.  It probably wasn’t important.

Hey, you, reader!  Go long!  I’ll toss you my priceless trophy like a football!…like a football.




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