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In previous posts and years, I’ve pondered alternative holiday activities to satisfy those who don’t agree with conventional and somewhat outdated traditions. I’ve pondered the possibilities of single-people alternatives to Valentine’s Day, vegetarian escapes from Thanksgiving and winter holidays without the demand for excess presents/expense.
Most recently, just now, I was thinking about how Thanksgiving gets overlooked by retail chains which barely blink an eye at everything pumpkin and turkey before putting Kris Kringle and Mr. Snowman on clearance shelves, one more annoying year.
[Actually, I’m watching an episode of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” in which the two major female characters, Buffy and Willow, are talking about how Thanksgiving is a “sham” associated with death (namely the death if all the Native Americans who were kind or foolish enough to mingle with the Pilgrims and share farming skills before meeting their doom).]
It’s bad enough some–namely those vegetarian/vegan sorts I previously mentioned–are turning away from the traditional turkey dinner. It’s annoying how businesses lacking in career potential don’t offer much of a vacation or bonus for “turkey day.” But, maybe, it’s okay to let one holiday slide into ancient history. I highly doubt we will need to uphold the traditions of National Hot Dog Day decades from now. [We’re living in an age when just about everything gets a holiday…and still we cannot work well together with respect for differences.]
If we DID neglect or bypass Thanksgiving, once and for all, perhaps the cultural deception could be replaced with something…er, nicer, and more closely related to the upcoming winter holiday many call Christmas. What if…what if Thanksgiving was a prequel to Christmas? Think of the Christmas traditions of a country like Spain. They celebrate for two weeks or longer, up until January 6th, the Dia de los Reys (Day of the Kings). What if Christmas season was closer to a month in length, say twenty-four or twenty-five days. Sure, why not; let’s top that old roasted chestnut of a song called the Twelve Days of Christmas. That’s less than what Spain gives to the party. They must have something better than lords that leap and ladies dancing, though I cannot imagine what.
Okay, so now the biggest holiday of the year has merged with it’s prehistoric ancestor, the dinosaur of family dinners. We celebrate the re-assembly of family before we even think about presents and the birth of Jesus Christ, which can both have their own days in the mix. They don’t have to compete for one single day and anger casual shoppers and religious folks, alike.
This could spare some travel challenges previously encountered with coming and going from one “big” holiday, at the onset of winter (in the northern hemisphere), only to leap into the fray, again, a month later. Why double the trouble when you could pick one, whether you stay for the long haul or just visit either early or late in the season? After all, even in the story of Jesus, people came to his birth at different times, not all in one day…which makes you wonder how Christmas can even be celebrated as a birthday, when events span over several days and travels. I suppose THE day is when he finally pops out of Mary without a scratch. But, the party isn’t in full swing until the Magi arrive. And, I bet, some straggler shepherds show up late, too…because shepherds cannot get enough of this stuff, visiting unrelated offspring of poor strangers in colorful robes who have already been blessed by wealthier stranger with the reputation of having advanced intellect.
Goodness. This would be such an epic celebration…people would be miserable when they have to return to work and/or school. It’s almost too much. I’m sweating gravy…and pooping cranberry sauce? at the thought of it. Imagine…more than a month of celebrating one big holiday season…after you just finished sorting out the candy and costumes from Halloween, or as I prefer to call it…Costume Day (so as to not upset religious folks who think Halloween has to be evil).
Yet, it WOULD be a holiday SEASON…not just a single day’s celebration with weeks of hasty shopping (and returns) in advance. It wouldn’t be the foolishness of New Year’s Eve, in which countless loud-mouthed fools rush to kiss on a cold city street and see a costly ball of light descend a metal pole before being shoved back to their homes and drunken establishments until morning. It wouldn’t be a blink of an eye followed by hours of janitorial labor, hangovers and careless gift-card exchanges. It would be patient and kind with time to breathe and appreciate everything. Stores wouldn’t have to clearance their tacky wares in a few weeks. They’d have adequate time for the late-comers to find something they can bring to family gatherings.
Again, I am feeling strangely stuffed and leaking in places at the thought of this. Such ample comfort and splendor, even if it’s tied to the winter holiday (or summer in southern places) and not autumn (which I prefer). Someone pass me a stack of napkins so I can wipe away all of this gravy. And, don’t you dare try eating it…that’s just gross.
But, imagine….

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