Writingbolt's Creation

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If I could sum up this year’s Oscars in two words, I’d call them

BITTER CURTAINS

There was a nagging unpleasant taste lingering throughout the…er…festivities. And, plenty of women were wearing heaps of fabric like walking CURTAINS. Black was a dominant color, but so was a bright, off-putting yellow. There was exactly one witty comment about the multitude of large dresses, and I cannot remember who said it. But, one young woman “on the red carpet” said the broad dresses were a form of social distancing, keeping others that specified number of feet away from those wearing the dresses. It was a Covid-19-crisis joke, and it was tasteful; amazing.

Beyonce opened the show with a blinding mob in that bright almost citrine yellow; and while she was clearly making a statement about black presence (at the awards), there were plenty of “white” people in her ensemble, including herself if I may be so frank. She has become so blonde and so pale over the years; and, in that piece, she looked like a white Barbie doll. The best part of the whole presentation was her Barbie earrings. The rest I question (including the exposed leg and glittering garter). Was the concept blacks and whites united (and look at my diamond marriage symbols; someone put a ring on it…er, me)? Or, was everyone in that performance supposed to be someone “of color?”

I tend to say trouble comes in/with threes. And, there were 3 female hosts. I expected something to go awry…and it did. But, while much of media focus is on Will and Jada Smith and Chris Rock, it seems no one is even remotely bothered by Regina Hall’s comment about Tammy Fay Baker. And, that bothers ME.

In case it slipped your filtered ears, Regina Hall, who I adore immensely and thought looked more classy than most women at the showing (eh-heh), came out dressed as Tammy Faye Bakker and said she always wanted to play “a crazy white woman.” And, a portion of the audience laughed. Now…with all the talk about so many “bio-pics” being considered for awards and other discussions, why would such a statement be acceptable? With all of the drive to celebrate diversity/inclusion and dismiss conflict, why would a somewhat harsh jab at a Caucasian woman be okay? Will Smith’s enduring wife gets a casual, minor poke at her shaved head, and that’s enough to create the focal point of the awards show. But, one of the female hosts makes a crack about a woman who was the subject matter of a heralded film, and no one does anything? No boos like Will received? Imagine if someone had made a joke about Ray Charles after the movie Ray took home an award or two. Imagine someone putting on big sunglasses and pretending to be blind. How would that fly? Not well, I’d think. I would definitely wince and have a bad taste in my mouth. Which is why I describe this episode in the ongoing series of excessive award presentations as BITTER.

Again, Regina, I adorrrre you. B-But…you also did that Covid-testing/single status bit that was in poor taste, as well! I know plenty are debating what’s safe to joke about…well, what’s not certain or safe. And, you took a chance. But, it wasn’t funny enough to be worthwhile. Bringing all of the feature male stars of current film buzz on stage as dating options while continuing to make filtering comments? Considering the lack of safety precautions at the ceremony, it was risky at best…at best it was risky. [My heart aches…for you.]

Amy Schumer? What a loveable marshmallow. That’s all I can say about her. While she’s been known to say some shocking things (including that bit about Jennifer Lawrence which might have been taken the wrong way if you didn’t know it was a pregnancy joke), she was restrained and extra cute this time. And, I loved it. It’s unfortunate she was the third wheel at a racially-charged spectacle. But, I moderately respect what she did.

It didn’t help seeing Chris Rock…at all. His first line about no one wearing masks…Seth Rogen already used that one at another award show. His whole bit was a pointless injection of black male humor to complement the black female hosts, a desperate hope of perking up the room…and it bombed. [Chris? I know that’s typical you. But, you should have seen this coming. Everyone should have and given you something else to do.]

What was up with the envelopes? At least half of the envelopes seemed to go unseen; there were odd, hasty cuts from nominee lists to the winners coming on stage. Yet, when I thought they were cutting out envelopes for time and/or less mingling of hands and germ concerns, there were envelopes! So, what was going?

There was that “big number” with the cast of Encanto, which cleverly transitioned from not talking about Bruno to celebrating Oscar and the inspiration for the statue. [And, I’d swear a very similar performance appeared in a previous award show. Am I wrong? Is this just deja vu?] But, I think I’ve heard enough about families having to replay kid-friendly movies and their songs over and over and over. It doesn’t help to reference it, one more time, and then indulge the groans with another replay.

The latest James-Bond song? Meh. Of course, it takes the award, and the brother-and-sister artists continue to get pushed up the pedestal of fame for whatever reason. [Remember what little eerie comment Will Smith said during his tearful speech.] I wasn’t impressed. In fact, when Billie said she and her brother had to write the song in the basement of their tour bus?…a tour bus has a basement?…I said, “Yep. And, it shows.” The song sounded like something you’d write in five minutes just to satisfy a commercial. It had a moody beat, trying to match up with Adele’s Skyfall. It had the title in the lyrics. I guess that’s enough. No further creative effort required. [Pathetic.]

Anything else that can be said about the latest award show has already been said.

How many times must we talk about the questionable, professionally made dresses worth more money than they can boast appeal? Of all the women I saw this round, that Ariana DeBose from the remake of West Side Story, with her vibrant red dress and sharp hair style, looked the best…except for the bra section. The bra section of her dress looked like the most minimal nipple caps one could find to cover a nude photo. It was tacky (as were the bra sections of most dresses seen, which isn’t anything new). But, 95 percent of her look…beyond fabulous; she was a fiery goddess. And, while there are those that dress up (Reba M. looking classy and full of fire), there are also the groan-worthy few who dress in some questionable way that gets polite media praise from some while I hold back the vomit. [Ehem. Kristen Stewart. I mean…not like I care or anything…dazed-eyes look away as fingers rake through my hair.]

So, how do we wrap this piece up? Awh. Who cares. By the next awards show, all of this will be a pointless blur. Let’s just evacuate the building, get to some noisy party and drink until we puke and forget why we dressed up for one more round of this superficial, secretly financial crap.

I was looking forward to skipping the whole spectacle, but NASCAR racing was delaying the cartoons I had hoped to watch. So, rather than watch reruns elsewhere, I endured this hot mess.