Writingbolt's Creation

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Being sick, particularly with a variation of the flu, is like a bad party. It doesn’t last forever, but you wish it would end quicker than it does. Perhaps having such a party in the thick of summer has made this year’s disaster go by quicker than previous trials; stages lasting a day or two instead of a week.

The party starts to go awry with something in your throat, something you ate or drank that was tainted, either by a troublemaker or someone who just is careless when it comes to food/drink preparation/preservation.

Similarly, the first stage of me feeling sick involves the onset of a sore throat. That’s where it starts. I go to bed with a slight rasp. I wake up in the middle of the night with a slimy tongue, struggling to breathe and swallow, eager to get up and hack my guts out in the nearest sink. Bleh! What did I do wrong? What did I eat or drink that I should have left alone? Who did I get too close to, yesterday? And, could I have prevented this by staying up late and treating my throat with some sort of herbal remedy/potion or scraping my tongue?

Now, under present circumstances, this is enough to set off way too many alarms and have everyone around me screaming and pointing, telling me to “take the test.” I think I know the difference between critically ill and what may just be the common flu/cold. [And, I swear I already had what people are calling Covid-19 back in 2001, before it had such a name. That was the worst “cold” or flu I ever had. The worst of it lasted about two weeks. The scariest parts were the loss of balance and not being able to feel hot water in the shower.]

So, now that you’ve had the first bad bite/drink, you try to let that go and get on with the party. But, the feeling in your gut just keeps getting worse. [The lousy guests you have are not helping relieve the feeling, either.] In fact, the whole party has you feeling ill from your head to your toes. You’re scratching yourself because something so wrong with this party is making your skin crawl.

Phase two of a bad cold or common flu bug…the aches and chills which make you sensitive, moody and unwilling to do or eat just about anything. All you want is to curl up in a warm, soft corner, somewhere, and be cuddled. But, this isn’t exactly the time, place or crowd for that. You’re on your own, and it sucks.

What do I do then? I end up putting on so many layers…during one of the hottest weeks of the summer! It’s 80 plus degrees outside, and I’m putting on winter underwear, two T-shirts, a fleece hoodie and thick pants to keep myself from freezing in my workspace! Even when I sit outside, trying to get some fresh air and sunshine on my chilling, aching bones, I don’t feel overly dressed. I’m barely comfortable and know I look foolish.

But, there’s a method to the madness. There are two productive ways to attack a bad cold/common flu. One; you eat and drink as much as possible to fire up your body and pass as much waste as possible, purging your systems (though it may seem like gluttony to diet-conscious fo–people). And, two; you overheat your body to break into a good sweat. Sweat is a great way to get germs to leave your body, break a fever and shed those puzzling aches and chills that take over your body like a ghost.

Oh…but avoid dairy when sick like this. Why? Because dairy foods tend to be riddled with bacteria, usually for some form of processing or customization to get a certain texture and/or flavor. And, like a bad vaccine shot, you don’t want MORE bacteria entering your system when your body is rallying the troops to expel bacteria. Drink water–best if boiled first, just in case your supply isn’t the cleanest–fruit juice and the occasional cup of tea/coffee.

I think I skip a phase by not messing with dairy. I know, when I was younger, I usually had to throw up for a day or two when I became ill. And, usually, THAT is what either kicks the aches and chills out of me or leaves me wide open to lingering discomfort and a general unwillingness to get out of bed. While I’m okay with being occasionally lazy and cozy in bed, I don’t want to stay there “forever” without something to keep my mind and hands busy. Eventually, I’m going to need to fetch some food and drink, too. So, I cannot just stay in bed and expect anyone to nurse me.

At least, this round, there was no nausea. So, that’s a plus.

However, I think I have faced just about every type of bathroom visit a person can make. I think I can check off every type of bowel movement and urinary mishap known to humankind. I should have set up a BINGO card.

Then there is the unpredictable shift of the senses. Some with the big bag bug out there say they lost their sense of taste and/or smell. Well, news flash, I haven’t exactly had a sense of smell since I was a kid scratching Scratch-n-Sniff stickers on my graded homework and tests. But, this particular trial gave me a day with a foul metallic taste; there was little food in the house other than fruit, dips I dare not touch and peanut butter. As I am trying to stay hydrated and healthy by eating the fruit and drinking tea/lemonade, I cannot help tasting metal and wondering what’s causing this. I feared it might be a “symptom;” but sources say it’s not. So, what caused it? Too much vitamin C? More fruit than my mouth is used to tasting in a week? [Thankfully, it was only one day.]

And, as I am talking about this being like a party, it’s a bit ironic the fruit and dips came from a Father’s Day party that I’d say was a bit of a misfire…because I’m not the only one who became sick after the actual party. And, that other individual is responsible for my family putting me in my own personal, miserable quarantine.

Back to the party. Where were we? We must have gotten lost in the conversation. Cake and ice cream? I’m gonna have to make a hard pass. My stomach and kidneys are not in the mood.

The party crowd starts to thin, letting you know it must be late at night or early the next day. And, the realization of time (and the disappearance of a bad vibe) somehow makes you flush. A brief fever is quickly broken, leaving you sweaty and slightly chilled.

Shedding the aches and chills is sort of like waking up the morning after a bad party either ends or loses most of its energy, when only a few relentless guests remain. You think the worst people must have left the building. But, you’d be wrong. There’s one obnoxious guest left, hiding somewhere, maybe in a bathroom or some other room in which they are not welcome to explore. And, they’re going to make the next few days–if not weeks–exasperating.

I like to think the worst of being sick is over when I wake up in that cold sweat, no longer shivering, no longer achy and numb. But, experience has taught me the final stage is the longest and just as annoying as the rest without the fear for my own safety. The final stage is the lingering tickle-cough, and it can last 2-4 weeks, less if you take good care of yourself and can be a bit anti-social, more if you are a hopeless extrovert or reckless.

Yes, that lingering cough…it’s like one bad party guest who refuses to go home. They might even manipulate you into letting them stay at your place for free…just until they work out better arrangements. What does that even guarantee? You have no idea.

Unlike that party guest, I have no pity for the tickle-cough. Sure, I put up with it. But, it is not a fellow human being, even of the lowest quality. Well…then again…I’ve known some people who could be described as complete germs. Yeah. So, maybe this is one of them.

Damn. Why did this one person just have to stick around and make you regret the day you decided to host a party?

Well, after 1-4 (plus) weeks of misery, annoying and scaring people who come within earshot and spitting goo into sinks more often than you stop to use a toilet, finally, you can talk all day without coughing and don’t sound like a trans-gender insect. It’s over. You’re free.

And, while you tell yourself you’ll never do THAT, again, it’s inevitable. Whether you’re the host or the unlucky guest, you’ll eventually get that unpleasant feeling, again, and go through the stages. But, hopefully, it gets a little easier, knowing what’s ahead of you. [If not, I totally understand the need to scream as you lose your mind.]

Ohp.  Time to reload, again.  [Curses.]