Posts Tagged ‘freebies

02
Feb
22

Swag Business…Business Swag; Chain of Discontent

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Every time I see a commercial for one of these companies that likes to print company logos on just about anything for bulk sale, I want to scream and throw things…including the items the companies feature in their ads. Water bottles, T-shirts, tote bags…ARGH!

It’s all such useless excess only wanted by people who love their workplace enough to use products stamped with the company logo. And, let’s be honest. How many employees can admit they love their workplace enough to want this stuff? If you DO love your workplace, why? It seems like a miracle if you work for a company that serves some unconditional moral purpose. Otherwise, it has to be your salary/income. You must get such sufficient pay that you are happy to wear the company swag like a badge of honor…or a weak attempt to earn a raise on your already pleasing pay.

Now, let’s consider all of the workers who do not love their workplace, who feel more distress than good and/or relief working there (or for a lousy boss). They don’t want the SWAG. So, what would they do with it, if offered some? Surely, it would end up in the trash. Wasteful. It’s a waste for the company to pass the stuff around to people who don’t appreciate it, and it’s a waste for the people who receive it to not use and dispose of it, carelessly.

I certainly have never loved a workplace enough to use swag with the company logo. I don’t think I’d even want the stuff if it was my own company. Why do I want or need to be seen drinking from a bottle that features my company logo? Advertising? Pathetic. Am I so lame that I need to walk around in stuff flashing the company logo? Isn’t the service and/or product the company offers good enough on its own? [Though, I wouldn’t put it past Phil Swift to wear a Flex Seal shirt, now and then. He seems like the sort who might do that.]

Ya know…this is sort of like the exercise-machine and game-show-consolation-prize disaster. People are sold on exercise equipment because someone beats them over the head to improve their health. But, a large enough portion of that sold/bought equipment goes unused because “good intention” quickly evaporates under a cloud of pre-existing laziness. And, how many game shows hand out prizes to the…well, losers…which go unused? Probably plenty. And, where do those consolation prizes go? They have to go somewhere. Do you know anyone who took home a consolation prize and actually enjoys using it? Do those prizes pile up in landfills? Fill resale shops? Get passed around as thank-you gifts by casual, careless business associates? What is the tragic fate of that last-ditch-effort-to-promote-some-smaller-business “merch?”

I almost forgot. There’s also all of that charity swag for donating a monthly premium to various causes, like military veterans who are lucky to be alive, kids who are born tragically handicapped and animals that may or may not have been staged to look…uh…near death. Most of the time, this swag includes a blanket, tote bag and/or T-shirt. And, have you ever seen anyone with any of this stuff? I have not seen a single sign of any charitable souls. Does that mean these charities get nothing? Or, are people not so bold to flash their swag? Is it possible the swag means nothing, at all, and gets thrown in the trash or…passed on to some other soul in need? Honestly, where does it all go? Where are all of the blankets and T-shirts? Does anyone have a story?

Lastly, in recent versions of these printed-swag company ads, there have been small additions of people provided with jobs by the companies, people packing boxes and loading trucks…so many happy little workers, all benefitting from factories bent on making things no one really needs more than items of higher quality with no trace of a logo on their surfaces. Yes. Those are fruitful careers. Not. That’s human labor of the very sort “smart guys,” right now, are working on replacing with robots. So, you see happy, smiling faces who won’t be smiling much longer if they get replaced with robots. And, why shouldn’t they be replaced? Those are lousy jobs for lousy merchandise.

Seriously. It’s enough to make me scream!

AAAAAUGH! END THE MADNESS! STOP MAKING, SELLING AND DISTRIBUTING CORPORATE SWAG!

AND, COMPANIES LIKE NIKE, STOP SELLING STUFF WITH YOUR LOGO FOR RIDICULOUSLY HIGH PRICES! IT’S JUST A PLAIN T-SHIRT WITH A CHECK MARK PAINTED UPON IT! THAT’S NOT A PICASSO OR VAN GOGH! IT’S WORTH 10 DOLLARS, TOPS! NOT 30!

And, breathe.

 




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