Posts Tagged ‘funny

04
Sep
24

A Few More Miitopia Comics Panels

****

I craft these things to make myself laugh.  I craft them and hope to make family and other people I know laugh.  But, few have the capacity to process such things, anymore.  Thanks to their “feeds.”  So, I take the chance, though I tell myself to seek an audience elsewhere.  Enjoy, whoever you be who wanders these dusty halls of emptiness, corporate shams and thirty percent internet power.  Want to see more?  Just use words, not an AI, and let me know.

25
Aug
23

By the Power of Pizza, Your Miitopia Comics Panel of the Day

*****

Taking a break from my usual temper-driving entertainment, I dabbled in a little game called Miitopia and came to this special scene, with a particular costume set and character mix which sparked an ounce of witty inspiration. I just so happened to cast favorite characters from my youth into this story. One of them, this redhead (though her hairstyle has been changed), you might know. Tell me which variation you like best. Enjoy.

06
Oct
22

Pocket Dictionaries Are WACKY!

****

I don’t recall when or where, exactly, I acquired this particular pocket English dictionary. But, ever since I started writing books of my own, with a computer at my side, I’ve turned to it for those rare moments when I either need a word or confirmation of my slightly flawed spelling skill. Occasionally, I find a strange word in place of the one I was seeking.

Most recently, I discovered some rather detailed definitions for parts of the female anatomy. I can’t help wondering…why does this tiny book, designed to assist with the most common and essential spelling concerns, include such words and definitions? Why the sex guide? Was this intended for young high-school students on the verge of losing their virginity? A secretive how-to-handle-your-sex-partner guidebook to be paired with that “little black book” the most talented social butterflies carry?

I can’t find all forms for a particular verb or a number of other helpful words, but I can identify just about every part of the human anatomy.

Shouldn’t this be a pocket medical dictionary?

Wacky discoveries.

23
May
22

Letter to Kate McKinnon (Departing SNL)

*****

Dearest Kate,

It pains me to see you leaving SNL, more than it pained me to see so many other favored personalities go over the years. In just a few brisk years, you went from being an odd duck to a woman I both fear and love at the same time; fear you when you decide to play outspoken old men and audacious lesbians; love you when you’re more lady-like (ha) and just generally and undeniably funny. You’ve worn so many faces…you should probably have a statue at the studio.

[Don’t expect me to name any of your characters; I cannot remember their names. But, I enjoyed the pet (cat) shop saleswoman who always had a slightly dumber partner to show off cats…your desperate last-call bar fly who occasionally resorted to using plastic wrap for protection (though I had no interest in seeing you swap spit and tongue rolls with so many other bar flies)…your German leader who frequently referenced her “oo-mails”…and whatever sort of artsy foreigner you were, paired with Cecily Strong, wearing those equally odd yet intriguing black-and-white outfits. I believe I have a picture I snapped with my camera, while sitting by the TV. Your outfit was odd. But, overall, you looked nice…yea, sure, Cecily looked great, too; I love her combo.]

greatlooksforCecilyStrong-n-KateMcKinnon-SNL_kodakblue100_reduced-E4922

And, here you are…on trial, apparently, instead of Amber Heard, who currently is still in a courtroom somewhere.  [This was for a Ghostbusters promotion?]

Kate McKinnon

July 8, 2016 – Hollywood, California, U.S. – Kate McKinnon stars in Ghostbusters and Saturdaynight Live

[And, where, when, why was THIS one taken?  You probably don’t consider yourself a model…but you do just fine.]

kate-mckinnon_unk-modellike-denim-pose-photo-1

Why does anyone leave the cast of SNL? Amassing quarrels with the boss? Getting too funny/rich for your own good? What is the reason?

I know you’ve done a few commercials. You’ve been in a movie or two. So have a number of “alumni.” I guess this is all routine. You start out a budding funny face, hoping to get more than a skit or two on SNL. Then you get outside work and get kicked to the curb, replaced by people with greater ethnic balance to aid the show’s “fresh” rating for being “open to all kinds.” ‘Gotta keep working the PR to keep SNL alive.

Oh, Kate. Why does this wound me so deeply? Clearly, you’ve opted to give up on men. Yet, here I am, a heterosexual man deeply infatuated (if not in love) with your wit and charming face (when you look feminine). [I don’t need to see any scary sewer clowns or possessed politicians/campaign assistants.]

Like I already said, there have been other women to leave SNL and wound my heart. But, none of them hold a candle to your array of characters. Others may have had one or two running gags to secure their place in my heart. But, you’re just a fountain of possibilities. And, that doesn’t come along, often.

You’d likely do well with a variety show of your own, if you could swing it. I think you’d give 1970s-1980s Carol Burnett a run for her money with the right cast. Could you rope in Dana Carvey and Mike Meyers? [I know; Maya Rudolph tried and didn’t do very well. But, you’re not her.]

So, where DO you go from here? I’m going to sound like a guy you meet on a street corner, near one of those steaming sewer vents and traffic lights. You got a place to stay? Where ya headed? I’d like to know. I really don’t want to see you disappear. And, commercials won’t cut it for me.

Please, stay in touch, if you could…if you would.

Sincerely,

Writingbolt, a dear fan (and wishful-thinking boyfriend)

[With our wits put together, we’d knock the whole world senseless with laughter. They’d wet themselves and go into a coma. And, we’d rock the bedroom, too.]

27
Jul
21

Letters from the Tokyo Summer Olympics


*****
Letters from the Tokyo Summer Olympics

July 24, 2021

Dear Toyota,

     Oh! What a Microsoft feeling! After finding a bad mint someone dropped on my pillow, I followed the pictograms to the nearest Taco Bell, ate a whole square watermelon and swallowed a shoe seed! [I think the watermelon was full of Nike vodka…or a delta variant of Corona.] Crashing my talking car (with no clear name), I lost my mind in a haystack. I think I broke my internet. When I woke up, I was karaoke in paper birds and forty-seven wood chips. [Yes. I counted the latter and found plenty of prefectures.] On the Visa-Subway ride home, I ran into a slew of famous faces who told me it was impossible to imagine all of the people. Do you think that’s true? Well, I’m out of time. I cannot wait to see what happens next. I’ll see YOU, tomorrow. Bonsai!

                                                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                                                                    Junk Sleep

P.S. You’ve gotta try the nacho fries. The giant alien monsters highly recommend them.

OL210D~1

04
Sep
20

A Touch of Humor, 9-5-2020

*****

A few jokes I picked up recently. [You may have heard one or two, before.]

A doctor walks into the waiting room of a paranoid patient and sighs.

“How bad is it? How long do I have?” asks the patient, already breaking into a cold sweat.

“Ten,” replies the doctor.

“Ten?!” snaps the patient. “Ten what?! Ten years?! Ten months?! Ten hours?!”

Remaining perfectly still, the doctor says, “…Eight.”

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

I had a huge crush on an English teacher, back in my junior year of high school. We became…very close. Years later, I reconnected with and wanted to marry her when she got out of prison. But, apparently, you cannot end a sentence with a proposition.

04
May
20

Red Carpet Follies; TP Crisis Humor

*****

Overture…

Curtain, lights….

This is it…

The night of nights…

And, oh, what heights we’ll hit…

On with the show; this is it!

So, I’ve been thinking about the current crisis and how toilet paper…or ‘bathroom tissue’…has become a highly sought-after commodity…which got me thinking about celebrities and the expensive outfits they assemble every night there’s an award show, which seems to be quite frequently, if you look around the globe.  But, what if the two concepts collided…the TP demand/crisis and the red carpet showcase…what if……

0-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-title-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-1A1-lauradern-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-thoughts-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-1B2-nancyodell-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-paperdollclothes-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-2D3-margotrobbie-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-thoughts-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-3C4-constancewu-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-northernexposure-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-4C5-amyadams-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-papermachemishap-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-5C6-reneezellweger-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-quotedbigroll-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-67-THEEND-redcarpetfollies-TPdresses-emptyroll-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-7

Ablee-ablee!  Uh, that’s all, folks!

 

 

30
Mar
20

Pokémon Funnies -My Current Obsession-

****

Where my head is at right now.  Thanks, nephews!

pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_you-and-hop-traintrip_ap-2020-1000x600-1

Get it?  You see….  Nah, just play the game or find someone who does.  Pokémon Sword or Shield.

*The guy on the left is a decent depiction of a teenage me.

pokemon-sword-n-shield_me-vs-theworld_ap-CSPP-2020-1280x720-2C

 

18
Feb
20

Humor, a Personal Analysis of the Concept

****

A wise man once said…

Humor is a selective perspective.

[This shall be a pooling place of thoughts and/or philosophy on the concept(s) of humor.]

We laugh at what is either ridiculous or personally true within the limits of self-preservation. Some may be comfortable with self-ridicule, laughing at their own flaws and faults. Others more simply laugh at what they feel does not hurt them or give them reason to be concerned. And, yet others laugh at everything the first two branches of humanity cannot find amusing, repelling waves of tension, anxiety and fear.

Taking all of the above into account, I sort of pity those who choose comedy as a career path. Have I not seen enough movies and other shows in which jesters get “the hook” (or worse)? Have I not heard enough “starving artist” stories about comics who bemoan a hard life…after countless routines gabbing about how horrible the people in their lives are? Why does the jester get killed? Because his or her “royal audience” has a change of appetite and no longer is amused by what amused them yesterday……and the “royal audience” has a lack of mercy which compels them to dish out death instead of mild or moderate disapproval.

From personal experience, I’ve learned an audience–whether it’s an audience of one or thousands–will egg you on to talk more about whatever they deem amusing in the moment. But, eventually, the ability to amuse fades and the comic is left exposed to a sort of ill karma, retribution for turning acquaintances into enemies worth teasing.

Many love comics who get personal, who can speak of a loved one or fellow human being passed on the street in a harsh way. It’s almost a wicked sickness or trick of the mind brought upon by an evil spirit. Just as one may be encouraged to partake in a group crime like robbing a store or conning a “mark.” There’s thrill in the teamwork, but the prize–for those who haven’t lost their conscience–comes with some measure of regret, some reason to disapprove of what just happened, even if the crooks are presently caught up in the thrill of the chase.

You know the old saying…

Crime doesn’t pay.

Many criminals would laugh at this until they are sufficiently punished. Until they no longer get away with what comes easy to them, they won’t blink an eye of doubt. Crime, whether it’s emotional or financial, comes at a price. And, the price eventually impacts the criminal because the suffering of one spreads to others; and those others likely cross paths with the criminal who then experiences a shift in the success of his/her ambitions. The next “heist” may not be so profitable or the next “mark” might not fall as expected. There’s no reliability in crime, and there’s no reliability in humor.

Humor often is a crime of emotionally wounding another.

There’s a sick trend of getting more laughs from picking on your own family than current events. A comic known as Colbert presently spends most of his energy making jokes about President Trump, not about some more common experience we all might have or the general status of the world. Why? Surely, there are more things to joke about than one man with a bad spray tan and colored hair. But, he is prodded (by someone) to deliver this material every night to make his chicken feed, to fund his home and family. Tell us more lousy jokes about the fat, quasi-rich man’s physique and make fun of the way he talks, and I’ll put another coin in your hat, funny man. What a sad organ-grinder-monkey business that is. It’s no better than the child lured into the business of picking pockets.

And, with the crime of humor, when you’re not a jester being killed by your king/queen, comes the punishment of losing the audience or, worse, turning a portion of the audience into an enemy. [Unlike the pickpocket who, as long as they remain unseen, never becomes a target of personal threat.] Does a comic truly make a friend out of the victim of his or her jokes? I wonder. I may have dismissed those who made jokes about me. But, I cannot say I became good friends with the short-lived comics. And, if I made jokes about anyone, I didn’t see them wanting to remain close friends…just temporary audience members. I might as well be a bartender.

In politics, some would say televised debates don’t keep an audience’s attention if they don’t involve “mud slinging.” Just as some throw sex scenes into movies and TV shows to draw whistles and other animal sounds. It’s a form of temptation. And, temptation is rarely rewarded in a way that improves the quality of life. Temptation is equivalent to drinking alcohol; the effects are temporary and more often harmful.

Even the most self-assured can be wounded. So, why stab at them with every “zinger” you can imagine, expecting them to laugh? Pick the wrong note, and watch that smile wither and die. Why gamble with this?

Why does anyone pick comedy as a career path? Because they see no better option, like a drunkard who can only drown him or her self in intoxicating beverages until they puke their pain away, only to get a rude awakening, later. And, from recent cases I’ve observed, many comics are deeply troubled and only hiding behind a laugh. Fun for the audience who is blind to their pain. But, tragic for the comic. And, shame on the audience who ignores the troubles of the comics, who prod them for more reasons to laugh. If only we could all be amusing to lighten our own hearts and still help each other get through the difficulties life deals us, instead of buying temporary relief.

So, when you hear people say they favor a funny lover/life companion, maybe think twice about that before signing up for the position. Humor is subject to opinion/personal taste. And, humor is not eternal. It is far less eternal than love and devotion. Even a devoted comic cannot count on humor. Just as I, a devoted creative spirit cannot be expected to craft a masterpiece every time someone prods me to impress them with something from my mind, mouth and/or hands. The unseen forces of the financial world may treat us all like cattle, but we are not cows. We are humans. And, that’s not funny.

Now, I have spilled quite a load from my busy brain. I don’t know how to conclude. So, I will leave things as they lay and let readers do with my notions what they will. Discuss.

10
Sep
19

Are You Associated Press?

*****

I heard another little voice the other day. It asked me, “Are you associated with WordPress?”

Well, I have been making blog posts and pages at the WordPress website for a number of years. So, I guess, in a way, I am associated with them. Yeah.

“Then, I guess, that makes you Associated Press.”

Hey. Whatdya know. I’m (an) Associated Press. You might have heard that term in the news or on some celebrity award show. ‘Just letting you know there’s more to me than meets the eye. [Heh-heh.]




Unknown's avatar

Archives


Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started