lessons | Writingbolt's Creation

*****

That is my essential question.

If you watch enough TV, you see plenty of stories about REMEMBERING, preserving memories and erecting memorials to EVERY tragedy under the sun, big or small. Someone died? Make me a memorial. A ton of people died? Make another memorial. Someone did something really bad somewhere and trashed the place? Make a memorial. WE CANNOT FORGET WHAT HORROR HAPPENED HERE…OR ANYWHERE.

What sparked this focus? Well, let me tell you a story…a rather long story. So, you might want to get comfortable…

I found a weathered antique that I thought must be valuable…because it’s an antique…and people made a whole “Roadshow” about finding value in such things…sometimes values in the hundreds and thousands. It turns out the item is part of a terrible time in human history, a time when my ethnicity was dragged through the mud of ridicule and stereotypical abuse. [Then again…that sort of talk is STILL happening.] It gets a low auction rating/value, according to an appraiser. But, I’m told to display the item as if it were in a museum, to never forget that horrible time in history….

[Disclaimer: The above story is true but not about myself. It is my perspective on something I saw on TV.]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HUMANKIND?!?!

BURN IT! BURY IT! DESTROY IT! DON’T PUT IT IN A GLASS BOX!

You know what typically happens in the movies when people put horrible things in glass boxes or on pedestals. Some dumb archaeologist or thief decides to take it and causes a catastrophe.

I’d ask the rhetorical question. Are you nuts? But, clearly, many if not all of us are if keeping the worst of the past alive to remind us all of the horrors is considered–by anyone–a good idea. So many damn memorials to tragedies, disasters and deaths of large quantities of people. How does anyone expect to see the sunny side of life if we are surrounded by and bombarded with tragedy and horror?

Where are the memorials of the good humans have done? Is the best example of good just the religious statues of supposed gods, saints and prophets? People we, who are currently living, probably never knew or can clearly say existed, yet we pray to and believe in them; we cherish them like a kid with his favorite stuffed animal. Where are the memorials of triumph and survival? Not trophies from sporting events where lots of money is passed around by those with greater resources while the athletes risk their lives on display. Not monuments made to men in high offices who may or may not have served their country well. Some…signs of good human nature and values. I cannot even name one, right now. Is there such a thing? Are they all hogwash, now?

I have a disfigurement that may or may not be associated with my parents’ neglect. I do not preserve it as a badge of honor or something to show people when I want to tell–one more time–how I no longer respect my parents the way I did as the “good little boy” I once was trying so hard to be. The only reason I haven’t had it fixed is a combination of sheer terror at the diagnosis I was given and some twisted self-therapy notion that I hope people will accept me for my personality and not be so concerned with my tragically flawed physique. Heck. I was flawed at birth because my parents let some doctor tell them I had to be born NOW, not later. And then, that same doctor said I should have surgery on my skull to prevent brain damage…damage he caused by pulling me out in haste.

I don’t want to show of my disfigurement and recant the painful stories of my youth over and over and over again. I’m sure as heck not going to stand naked on YouTube and talk about the horrors of my past. And, if there was a better way to fix the “problem” (than what I have been told and the cost I anticipate), I’d get it done.

But, I get it. Those who want this hot mess are angry and upset and sticking it to those who caused the hardship and those who turn a blind eye to crime and other troubles.

Yet, there are probably just as many who would like to live their lives in peace who had nothing to do with the trouble and are not so well off that they are trampling the victims of the past. Just because someone is “white” doesn’t make them a supporter of slavery or racial abuse.

As much as I might like to shake a furious finger at my parents and hope others share my scorn, that attitude is not going to help me get on with my life. I’m not going to be a better person by harboring resentment and toting the painful memory. Nor am I going to feel better 20, 30 or even 50 years from now, looking at that history in a book or museum. I’m not going to see that horror and say, “Mmm. That was tragic. It’s good I preserved the memory. Now, the world can relive my pain.”

Sure; it might be good to know if you were a “fan” and wanted to know the intimates of my life. But, who can predict the existence of such historians? And, who preserves every bad thing that happened in their life so future generations can learn about it?…considering, among those generations, there will be plenty of “bad eggs” who would misuse the information. History certainly shows how people can twist a story and use it for evil. Ask anyone who is skeptical about the history of popular holidays.

I think back to my school days. I had teachers trying to cram tons of–well–useless information into my young brain when what I really needed to learn was how to function in the modern world, how to take care of myself and fit in with people both younger and older than me. Instead, I received a diploma in all sorts of historical matters that might be good to replay in a museum if I was giving a tour…but otherwise are just skewed stories on rotting paper.

I am a fairly religious guy and give adequate respect to religious texts and places of worship. But, even I can tell the Catholic/Christian Bible is not a documentary on ancient Christian people. Many of the stories are more like fables than diary entries. Yet, the Bible is one of the most talked about and preserved books in human history. WHY? [Maybe people just looove storytelling.]

Now, imagine what is happening right now or even all the stories we’ve heard about things that happened in the 1960s…a few thousand years from now…being recanted in schools and museums. Do you really think any of this will matter? What if history repeats itself? What if humans continue to be ignorant and learn nothing from the abundance of history they are provided?

People today are not learning from the history I was force-fed. They aren’t much wiser. The weapons just get more destructive and sophisticated. Heck, the planet pays every day from past use of radioactive materials and chemistry that harms the environment. No museum necessary.

WHY WASTE THE TIME AND ENERGY ON PAINFUL HISTORY?!

[In April of 1986, the Chernobyl disaster happened, and, to some extent, it’s still there, still tragic. In June of 1987, Peter Parker married Mary Jane Watson in Shea Stadium. Yes! There was a live staging of this blessed moment in comic-book history! And, if you’re lucky, you’ll find a footnote in some book or on some website about it. [I faintly remember seeing a blip on some morning news program about the wedding, as a kid who was just starting to like comic books.] Is there a statue of Peter and Mary Jane anywhere near that stadium? Does anyone talk about the wedding? Probably not as much as they will talk about countless disasters and memorials to them. You hear more about the tragic end of Princess Diana’s life than you hear about Pete and MJ. Sure, go ahead and criticize me for favoring fictional characters. 😛 ]

We don’t have to glorify the fools of the present, either. But, we sure don’t need to carry all the horror behind us. If you were struggling to travel across a hot desert and could only carry so much on your back, would you take the pain you and your “family” experienced or just the essentials you’d need to survive the trip?

You’re alive. You made it through. If your family and friends were impacted, I’m not saying forget they suffered. But, don’t erect a statue for every person who died. And, even if you experienced tragedy, don’t let it stop you from living a good life. Don’t shove it in the faces of others who may not properly process the information, either.

Not everyone will respect your sorrow or understand. Eventually, the planet WILL run out of surface space. Even graveyards get run over by new generations and new developments. Did anyone erect a memorial for my favorite dinosaur when the meteor hit Earth? I don’t think so. And, as far as I know, no one’s working on a park exhibit to bring “her” back to life and protect the endangered species. I’d really freak out if anyone tried; and not in a good way.

So…I’m watching this episode of that “Roadshow” and seeing a famous person talk about a collection of historical items which are not doing any good for anyone and probably should not be discussed or displayed anywhere. If you knew nothing about the pieces, you might say, “Oh. Those are unique ethnic figurines.” But, once you hear the story behind them–if you have a conscience, at all–you might wince and wish to look away.

WHY do we need to preserve every bad thing or bad incident for future generations to replay? Is all of that really going to make a good impact on “kids” so they make smarter decisions? With the way the world is sinking into an abyss of technological distractions and everything coded under the silicon sun, who are we expecting to take a look at all of this painful history and make good on it?

What good is expected from preserving these nightmares and bad days in our history? More museum ticket purchases? Yes, please, take my money and let me stare for hours at tragedy and horror. Show me more people dying, suffering and being mistreated so I never forget.

I think my days in school with ancient history about the barbaric practices was quite enough to know humans can and have been quite horrible and probably should never cross paths with life from other planets, unless those lifeforms are as bad or worse. And, if they are worse, then we are all screwed, anyway.

SCREW YOU WHO FAVOR MEMORIALS OF EVERYTHING TRAGIC AND HORRID! You want to weep? Then weep and make peace with what happened before moving on with LIFE. Otherwise, you can spend eternity carrying a boulder up a slope before it pushes you back down to start the climb, again.

It happened. But, the rest of the world doesn’t need to relive it or review it the rest of their lives. And, Heaven forbid someone tamper with the evidence so the history becomes skewed. Oh no…humans would never alter history to make it appear different in future school books. [Can you detect my sarcasm?]

Stop preserving every little piece of painful history you find and LIVE your life or be buried and rotted with your STUFF you refuse to let go. A hundred years from now, what you value or refuse to leave behind won’t matter to anyone but the few descendants born with either miraculous memory or the acursed desire to hoard your past. If you feel the need to tell stories, you don’t need models and charts. That’s school and courtroom bullshit.

But, I get it. Ultimately, “to each their own.” I just don’t want to be bombarded with the horrors of mankind the way these rampant drug ads with horrific side effects keep dominating my TV time. Just because I know mosquitoes can be deadly doesn’t mean I need to hear it every day or year. Teach me how to protect myself, truthfully, don’t just tell me how horrible they are and what I should buy to feel safer (as if). Bring back those remotely charming “mascots” of commercial history and retire those F’n toilet-paper bears, already.

I’m not Andy Rooney, but, if you’ve read everything I have to say, you’ve probably been here 60 minutes, give or take.

Who’s Andy Rooney?

I dunno. Google it, maybe?

Tick, tick, tick, tick…….

*****

I should have learned my lesson by now. And, hopefully, I never repeat this in the future. I never was a big fan of PC gaming. But, I did come across a few games I thought might be fun. Alas, I am not the best at comparing requirements and thus have made more than enough mistakes. I’ve invested in now useless disks that might as well be turned into modern art. I’m just here, telling anyone who cares to read into it, how my experience with installing older games on a new PC has gone. I had asked around, but no source seemed to grab me with useful information. No one I know seems PC smart enough to know what will or won’t work. Thus I was left to take the risks all by myself.

In short, the lesson I learned: DO NOT try installing older PC games on a new PC. [And, my previous computer lesson: DO NOT try modifying a computer with alternate parts like memory strips and hard drives. If the PC does not come the way you want it with all of its parts already in place, look for another model.]

I have a rather new Windows 10 model laptop. It should be able to handle just about any game you throw at it, minus those really intensive 3D and first-person games you see for the hardcore gamers which require a gaming PC. You would think any old 3D game would work on a new PC even if it’s not a gaming PC. After all, the technology has advanced a fair amount since Win Vista. But, no.

I got lucky with 3 older games: Paradise, AGON and Mysteryville 2. All of which said they worked with PC as long as you met some rather low requirements (in new PC standards) and had, at least, Win XP, maybe Vista. Nothing about being good for older PCs; I have no idea how Win 98 could have handled some of the stuff these games put out. But, surprisingly, of about the 10 games I tried to install, these three worked. Most of the others were kicked out right away without installing; the PC told me they would not work. And, the uninstall bit was fairly easy.

The good news (if you get the chance or care to play these):

PARARISE: It’s a bit of a shoddy short story about a young woman (I’d guess 21-25 years old and very shapely, for whatever reason…) who is flying to visit her father in some odd part of Africa when her plane is shot down, causing her to forget everything before she is taken in by a harem prince. You would think your mission is to restore your memory and reunite with your dad. But, it’s not that simple. And, the ending is…not great. But, this is a beautifully rendered game with a nice soundtrack and puzzle system. If you like those Resident Evil type games, this one is decent without the horrors. You can save as many slots as you like to replay certain parts. You can view the cut-away scenes separately, once you acquire them. You get to play certain stages as a panther, which aren’t very long or impressive…but you get to play as a panther.

AGON: This is just one part of a larger story, though I am not sure if this is part 1, part 2 or parts 1-3 of what is supposed to be a 12-14 part story. It’s based on some games and other story/stories found somewhere. I got the game as part of a collection of PC games, not knowing what to expect but having low expectations. I was greatly surprised how nice this game actually turned out to be! It’s a MAJOR brain challenge for which you’ll likely want a walkthrough found online. I just didn’t have the time/brainpower to figure out the very puzzling puzzles. And, there are way too many books to go through within the game. Yet, those books are like a digital library of information that could potentially be used in other projects, if you write that sort of thing. You can find alphabets from other languages, for example. Like Paradise, this is a very decent 3D perspective, exploring game with both mind and physical puzzles to complete in various lands. There’s a beautiful isolated island beach stage and a refreshing–though bleak–snowy winter stage. You are collecting ancient board games and stones which combine to unlock some greater secret yet to be understood. You play a sort of stocky Sherlock Holmes who is corresponding with his research assistant Watson back home as you travel the world. When I completed this one, again, it felt a bit underwhelming as this is just a segment of a larger story. But, just exploring the various worlds/stages is a treat.

Mysteryville 2: I wanted to get Mysteryville 1, but it said it was for older PCs; so I passed. Now I wonder if it would work. This is a sequel to a mystery about missing cats and a major test of eyesight as you search various places for hidden items and put together jumbled slide puzzles to solve a mystery about an art show that may not be what it seems and a missing “friend” who may not be who he seems. I poured myself intensely into this one and completed it in a few days because I kept wanting to get to the bottom of it. When all was solved, I wasn’t sure what to think or do. I think I liked the music best, very Twin Peaks mysterious. I have gone back to replay a few of the puzzles, now and then. It’s better, in some ways, than another hidden item game I had on my last PC, one about fairy crystals and a missing husband (which still doesn’t make total sense with me).

If any reader has more information on these games, like where to get others in the series (if there is a series) and/or if they work on new PCs, let me know.

Now, to the ugly business of erroneous installations.

What prompted me to write this piece was a good-looking game from 2002 called Freedom Force in which you can design superheroes and complete about 20 missions against all sorts of premade comic villains. It all sounded good, and the requirements didn’t seem out of my range. It installed beautifully! If it wasn’t going to work, why did I get treated to all sorts of images? It asked to install Direct Play which I accepted but turned down Game Spy Arcade as I thought that was some additional game or online option I did not figure would be any good anymore. After all, chat rooms aren’t what they used to be, and plenty of sites close shop in a handful of years. After installation, I could not get it to play. It said I had to log in as administrator and try again. I see no way to do just that, so what was I to do? I checked my requirements and found my PC was an NT? Not fit for XP software? And, my processor is not up to speed? I doubt that. Anyway, so, with the game not working, I figured I might as well uninstall. At least the software has that option…OR DOES IT?! Apparently, this game is so special that when I tried to uninstall it, I got “catastrophic failure.” Missing component? What the? Sooo… I’m sitting with this dud stuck in my computer. I tried to system restore to a previous date and only caused the computer more grief! Registry errors. I couldn’t open image files. I couldn’t run certain programs. What gives? Talk about a nightmare.

I’m currently, nervously working on the problem. But, it scares the crap out of me and makes me feel stupid. I should have just listened to my younger self who said he wasn’t going to dabble in PC games. It’s just a shame more aren’t as fortunate as the ones I DID manage to install and complete. I really wanted to play The Movies, among others.

If you have any info on these or related games, I appreciate any input you can provide.

Writingbolt's Creation

Posts Tagged ‘lessons

How Many Memorials Do You Need to Cover a Planet?

The Trials of Old PC Software and New PCs

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