Posts Tagged ‘letters

23
May
22

Letter to Kate McKinnon (Departing SNL)

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
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*****

Dearest Kate,

It pains me to see you leaving SNL, more than it pained me to see so many other favored personalities go over the years. In just a few brisk years, you went from being an odd duck to a woman I both fear and love at the same time; fear you when you decide to play outspoken old men and audacious lesbians; love you when you’re more lady-like (ha) and just generally and undeniably funny. You’ve worn so many faces…you should probably have a statue at the studio.

[Don’t expect me to name any of your characters; I cannot remember their names. But, I enjoyed the pet (cat) shop saleswoman who always had a slightly dumber partner to show off cats…your desperate last-call bar fly who occasionally resorted to using plastic wrap for protection (though I had no interest in seeing you swap spit and tongue rolls with so many other bar flies)…your German leader who frequently referenced her “oo-mails”…and whatever sort of artsy foreigner you were, paired with Cecily Strong, wearing those equally odd yet intriguing black-and-white outfits. I believe I have a picture I snapped with my camera, while sitting by the TV. Your outfit was odd. But, overall, you looked nice…yea, sure, Cecily looked great, too; I love her combo.]

greatlooksforCecilyStrong-n-KateMcKinnon-SNL_kodakblue100_reduced-E4922

And, here you are…on trial, apparently, instead of Amber Heard, who currently is still in a courtroom somewhere.  [This was for a Ghostbusters promotion?]

Kate McKinnon

July 8, 2016 – Hollywood, California, U.S. – Kate McKinnon stars in Ghostbusters and Saturdaynight Live

[And, where, when, why was THIS one taken?  You probably don’t consider yourself a model…but you do just fine.]

kate-mckinnon_unk-modellike-denim-pose-photo-1

Why does anyone leave the cast of SNL? Amassing quarrels with the boss? Getting too funny/rich for your own good? What is the reason?

I know you’ve done a few commercials. You’ve been in a movie or two. So have a number of “alumni.” I guess this is all routine. You start out a budding funny face, hoping to get more than a skit or two on SNL. Then you get outside work and get kicked to the curb, replaced by people with greater ethnic balance to aid the show’s “fresh” rating for being “open to all kinds.” ‘Gotta keep working the PR to keep SNL alive.

Oh, Kate. Why does this wound me so deeply? Clearly, you’ve opted to give up on men. Yet, here I am, a heterosexual man deeply infatuated (if not in love) with your wit and charming face (when you look feminine). [I don’t need to see any scary sewer clowns or possessed politicians/campaign assistants.]

Like I already said, there have been other women to leave SNL and wound my heart. But, none of them hold a candle to your array of characters. Others may have had one or two running gags to secure their place in my heart. But, you’re just a fountain of possibilities. And, that doesn’t come along, often.

You’d likely do well with a variety show of your own, if you could swing it. I think you’d give 1970s-1980s Carol Burnett a run for her money with the right cast. Could you rope in Dana Carvey and Mike Meyers? [I know; Maya Rudolph tried and didn’t do very well. But, you’re not her.]

So, where DO you go from here? I’m going to sound like a guy you meet on a street corner, near one of those steaming sewer vents and traffic lights. You got a place to stay? Where ya headed? I’d like to know. I really don’t want to see you disappear. And, commercials won’t cut it for me.

Please, stay in touch, if you could…if you would.

Sincerely,

Writingbolt, a dear fan (and wishful-thinking boyfriend)

[With our wits put together, we’d knock the whole world senseless with laughter. They’d wet themselves and go into a coma. And, we’d rock the bedroom, too.]

31
Jul
21

Letter to Psyonix and the Other Makers of Rocket League

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
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*****

A Letter to Psyonix and the other makers of the “free edition” of Rocket League, capable of being played with the Nintendo Switch (provided you have a decent controller).

To whom it should concern,

Folks, let me be blunt. Your gaming universe sucks. You’ve created one more lousy internet-crashing space full of jerks, losers, cowards and posers. Most of your music catalog is absolutely annoying. And, your award system is the worst.

How do I justify these statements? Well, let’s see…

I’ve invested more time than most players to complete every goal of the 3rd season, just as I did last season. And, I came very close to completing “gold level” the first season, back when Slushii was a decent guest DJ, providing the first song I would have liked as a player anthem…but nooo…I couldn’t get that song as my anthem. And, just because I’m not a paying member of your “premium” customer base, you’re going to deny me a decent song when I find one? Instead, you’ll feed me a billion dumb blueprint copies, ugly wheels and hideous decals? On my best day, I get a “finish” or “trail” that looks half-decent. Maybe I’ll craft a new preset to improve my furious mood. But, not today!

So, people are astounded when they see my high-level picture frame. Gee, is it because I put in the hard work for such little gain? It’s not like I am a great player……buuuuuut I sure am better than many of those boasting “Season 3 Tournament Winner.” Which brings me to my next point…

Learn how to group players by rank! You create this lengthy road to a rating system and provide numerous tournaments. But, people who cannot clearly play somehow become winners and appear in games with rookies and actual “noobs” (not those champion hotshots who just call themselves NOOB to be cheeky). Only the real champions ever show any skill, and, when I see them, it seems to always be an unfair game, me and a couple of newcomers or some lousy AI against 1-3 guys half my age who can spin their car in the air like a wand of cotton candy.

Let me tell you about my latest tournament experience. In my first tournament, just this season, I made it to round two before being crushed by a team of “S3 Tournament Winners.” There were no such winners on my team. How did I get put up against a team of winners? [Actual winners; not posers.] Fair enough; that just seems to be the norm with your lousy setup; it has happened far too many times in ranked matches, like those Rumble and Snow Day variations. I powered through. Oh. I earned some sort of tickets or credits to spend on some kind of trophy package. Hmm. Lots of possible items to get. Oh. I just get one? Ookay. Oh, wow! Goal explosions and some of Julie Buchanan’s music! Maybe I’ll. Okay. No goal explosion. But, I did get the better of two Julie B. songs. I’ll save the rest of my credits/tickets for later….maybe I’ll earn enough to get a higher prize. Next tournament, I am put up against three more pros with two rookies at my sides; we’re wiped out in round one. I have just enough credits/tickets to get two prizes. Maybe I’ll be lucky this time and get–nope! I got some lame wheels and a really ugly decal. Okay. Let’s save some credits for next time, again. What?! The week turned over, and my saved credits/tickets are gone? Is that how that works? What a load of–! Okay. Stay cool. Let’s just try one more tournament and get some more credits/tickets to spend. Okay, my team makes it to round 2. And, we are supposed to be facing some “Mantis” team. But, the game isn’t starting. I clicked “Continue” and was faced with the “bracket” while my teammates, for some reason, retreated to the main menu. Now, I don’t see them on the list and I am not in the game…and the Mantis team is up 2 to 0?! What is going on?! Suddenly, I’m ejected from the team and seeing results for the team’s loss. WTF?! Okay. Calm down. Let’s just spend some credits/tickets to improve our sour, confused mood. What the–?! A duplicate of the same song track I got the previous round?! Son of a–!! Okay, let’s not lose those other credits, again. Let’s spend them and get–more crappy wheels?!

And, ya know what else grinds my gears about team-ups? 9 out of 10 games, I am put up against a “club” of two or three who clearly have a means of communicating with each other. Forget your crappy chat system no one but me seems to want to use other than to slander and beg for freebies (trades and shots they won’t earn themselves). These players must have headsets and internet voice-chat services running to be so coordinated. And me? I’m just trying to silently convey how to work together, passing the ball in front of the other team’s goal (called clearing) so one of my teammates can score. No. No one really gets that move, other than the other team who does it so flawlessly and skirts around me and my team almost every time. And then, my team has the nerve to criticize ME! And, if one more “floater” tells me to “take the shot,” I will snap and shove my foot up his or her– Well, you get the idea. What’s the use in having my fierce language filtered?

And, how lousy is it to enter a ranked match and either have your team vote to forfeit after one goal or have some internet glitch lose connection, knock you out of the game and get a penalty for leaving the game? Extremely lousy! How many games have I entered in which my team bails and leaves me to rot with the full other team for another few minutes of humiliation? How many must I endure? And, if I feel the urge to leave, heaven forbid! I will be burned at the stake and banned from play! As if! Do that and I will unleash a wrath so scathing, you’re grandkids will scream in pain.

Oh yea. And, “friend lists?” What a joke. The people I befriend seem only interested in winning, not being actual teammates who tolerate and learn from loss and actually communicate with each other! I have actually deleted and blocked “friends” because they only want someone who can win games for them, as if it’s magic that just graced their doorstep like some blue fairy visiting a wooden boy. When I’m not dazzling them, they want nothing to do with me. Screw friends.

I thought chatting outside games would be beneficial to all. I guess not! People have no patience for chat. They just want to play, rank up and win, win, win more stuff. But, if they are going to be “friends,” why can’t they be more friendly and enduring?! No. Friends suck. Your friend list and chat service with all of its excessive filtering sucks. You’re worse than Ned Flanders; ohgly dohgly.

Now, let’s talk about those “rare drops.” How many of those damn things do I have to earn to get something I really like?! Well, so far, I’d say the odds of getting a favorable reward are about 1/20. 19/20 include lousy duplicate wheels, paint finishes or decals, even if the drop is an extra special one. Last season, when I completed the big list of chores and got the three special prize “eggs,” did I get anything great out of those? Nope. I got a duplicate of a car I had already unlocked/earned elsewhere and more wheels and, I think, a new finish or decal I was lucky I could even use on some cars. THAT was what all of my hard work earned?!

Of course, there’s always trading. As if! If I don’t “buy in to trade,” I see only the option to “trade in,” AND THAT SUCKS! How many things have I traded in just to get another lousy set of wheels or duplicate finish? Too many. Blueprint trading is dumber than dumb!

If people could actually trade with me, MAYBE I’d actually find someone willing to trade for what I have in duplicate. But, probably not, because what I think or see labeled as RARE, UNCOMMON and/or IMPORT are actually quite common and already showcased on other players. I don’t see much sense in trading anything. Any good items I have or want seem only one-of-a-kind.

Do you realize I have worked my arse off through three seasons/years of lousy team-ups and brutal thrashings by pros thrice my speed, and I still haven’t earned ONE lousy goal explosion? What is the fricken elite deal with those, anyway?! And, why can’t I get the one Julie Buchanan song I actually like without “going premium?” Haven’t I earned that track? I think I have. Last season, you had tracks available as prizes along the journey to completing a season level. Why not this season? Someone actually wants one of your better songs. LET ME USE IT, ALREADY!

I am so furious at my lousy luck after three years, I am reluctant to even open any more “prize eggs” much less play any more games, at all. And, I’m sure some if not all of you would say, “Good! Get lost, you cheapskate!” Well, isn’t that just a fine kettle of fish. What did you expect? Every person who plays without paying to eventually give in and spend the bucks? Ya know, I bet I’d cave, spend the money and STILL get screwed with the lousy prizes and teams. I look at the “premium” list of items I am missing out on…and only 5 of the lot are remotely appealing. The rest are–ooooh! fifty colors of the same prize from several levels ago! Oh, I just have to have that prize in every color! NOT! I’m not going to put out my hard-earned cash just to get paired up with more wimps who cannot communicate or endure a loss and get creamed by more pros and sweet-shot weasels who sit at their goal just waiting for my team to make a mistake so they can race across the field and score the easiest of goals! I’m not going to pay to earn duplicate items only to feel worse than I do getting useless furniture in Animal Crossing. You can take your financial demands, turn them sideways, polish them and then shove them up your candy–

You want me to reconsider? Tell ya what. Just give me the Julie Buchanan soundtrack, all of her songs, so I can pick and use them in the game…or, maybe, just send me a CD I can play at home when I don’t need to be raising my BP to the limit in your game, late at night. Do that, and I’ll likely shrug off my complaints. Or, even better, throw a decent goal explosion my way. Give me that “overgrowth” with the birds flying out of the tree; any color but pink or green will do. Give me the dancing rabbit girl (without me spending 20 bucks to buy enough credits). Or, give me that checkered flag or mic drop. For crying out loud, how hard is it to earn a goal explosion?!

But, if you’re anything like the average player I encounter, you’ll probably be happier just to see me storm away and never play your game, again. Whatever. There aren’t enough foul words to satisfy the bile in my throat, the venom I want to spew at you before I drive my fist into your faces like your obnoxious Octane speeding into a goal explosion; you know, that thing you refuse to let me use.

Sincerely,

One furious customer who regrets ever getting sucked into your world, Junk Sleep

P. FRICKEN S. Is there a contact service line I could use to speak with some of your illustrious staff?  Email?  Phone line? [Cracks his knuckles in anticipation.]

27
Jul
21

Letters from the Tokyo Summer Olympics

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Creations, My Fiction and Uncategorized
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*****
Letters from the Tokyo Summer Olympics

July 24, 2021

Dear Toyota,

     Oh! What a Microsoft feeling! After finding a bad mint someone dropped on my pillow, I followed the pictograms to the nearest Taco Bell, ate a whole square watermelon and swallowed a shoe seed! [I think the watermelon was full of Nike vodka…or a delta variant of Corona.] Crashing my talking car (with no clear name), I lost my mind in a haystack. I think I broke my internet. When I woke up, I was karaoke in paper birds and forty-seven wood chips. [Yes. I counted the latter and found plenty of prefectures.] On the Visa-Subway ride home, I ran into a slew of famous faces who told me it was impossible to imagine all of the people. Do you think that’s true? Well, I’m out of time. I cannot wait to see what happens next. I’ll see YOU, tomorrow. Bonsai!

                                                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                                                                    Junk Sleep

P.S. You’ve gotta try the nacho fries. The giant alien monsters highly recommend them.

OL210D~1

06
Mar
20

Dear China, Don’t Punish the World

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
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***

Hey, China, you’re making it harder for me to love you.

When I think of all the beautiful things to come from China (and Japan and a number of other Far-Eastern nations), I crumble; I melt.  I imagine going to China and exploding from the sight of too many beautiful women.  The mere thought of that experience is like catnip to me; I want to curl up in a ball and roll around on a plush rug.  I have been infatuated if not in love with the Far East since I was a teenager.

Then, not too long ago, Japan went and had a nuclear disaster which kinda spoiled my eagerness to travel there…just when I was considering making plans to take that big adventure.  I have heard about SARS for some years and found that both discouraging and disappointing.  And, how long ago was bird flu a thing?  I met some reaaaaally paranoid people about that one, who had a shelter, supplies and high-tech breathing masks ready.  Now….this…this new contagion that sounds like one dangerous alcoholic beverage, a cocktail of death.  And, it came from you, China?

I just have to ask…

Who hurt you?

I mean, I know the USA hasn’t been kind.  They’ve been demanding and making you do their homework for so long.  But, there has to be more.  Who else is to blame?

You’re hurt, and you’re taking the pain out on the rest of the world.  But, you’re hurting your own people, too.  You’re hurting the world.  And, as I said, it’s making loving you more difficult.

Don’t ruin my love for you, your people, mythology, astrology, landscape and culture.

Take back your biological weapon and show mercy to your enemies.  Work this out some other way.   It’s not too late.

Or, are we all doomed to be wiped off the planet?  Are you taking god-directed action to wipe out all mankind once and for all?  Are you Death?  Or, Fate?

Oh, China.  You just seem like a wounded cat right now.  And, it pains me to see you lash out this way.  I will not live in fear of your biological weapons.  But, if this continues, I will eventually have a broken heart that cannot be repaired.  And, that is the worst of it.  It would be the worst if I lost my love for you.

Sincerely,

Writingbolt

 

P.S.  If you are NOT to blame for the crisis that is still unfolding, if someone dropped this bomb on your territory, just point me in the direction of the culprit; and I will unleash my fury upon them.

24
Oct
19

$1,000 for the Makers of G5 Games

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Categories: Uncategorized
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****

I recently invited people to join me in playing an online/offline game made by the G5 company. Since then, I’ve sampled two of their very artistic…and very vexing *free* hidden item games. If you are familiar with the games, then you will likely find what I have to say fairly amusing. If you have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to find out for yourself or just carry on with your mindless scrolling.

Dear G5 Games,

I am so pleased with your work. I’d like to offer you $1,000. I know you normally ask for less to buy various starter kits, chests and whatnot. I’m saving time and being generous for all your wonderful artwork and…ehem…time-killing entertainmennnn-tah. But, there’s a catch.

To collect this $1,000, you must find it in a picture, a picture that is very dark and blurry like a bad painting of a barn in one color, a picture set at *Magister* level. And, the money will be disguised as a thin silver thread, like a slender antenna, which blends in with about a million other brush strokes in the blurry painting. It’s a very dark picture; so you’ll likely need a flashlight (which is quite useless and only lasts five seconds) or a torch (which is slightly less useless and just as temporary). Just to make you feel better…or worse…I’m going to surround the item you are seeking with dozens of other things you’d like, including other dollar amounts, money bags, etc. Oh, wouldn’t that be sweet. But, no; they are just there to distract you…like so many pictures we players must search over and over and over and over and over and over again, looking at all the objects we normally cannot find so easily, laid out in front of us, mocking us.

Even if you find the silver thread, which is no bigger than an eyelash and partially hidden behind another section of the picture, you’ll find it difficult to click on. If you get weak, you can just wait a day to recharge and try again; or spend a few talismans to rev yourself back up in a fraction of that time.

But, wait, there’s more.

Before you can even reach this picture, you must make a journey of a two hundred and eighty-five levels, gathering three billion coins and unfathomable “experience.” Are you up to the task? Cuz you sure put us players to it!

[You go from needing 20,000 coins to open one portal in Twin Moons to 84,000?! And, to rack up that kind of coin, you need to get combiners that are only available in portals miles upon miles ahead of what’s accessible, spend countless hours making what is available even more difficult and expensive than it already is…or buy our way there? You folks are cruel and nuts. You might as well just make all the portals accessible at no cost or need to collect a billion bitty things and just sell the game for $20 in a form that can be installed, uninstalled and reinstalled with ease, and call it a year. Because you are proving there is no “fun” in “game.” Like some video games of the past, you have lots of nice graphics but are lacking elsewhere. I’ve been tempted to try some of your other games, but I reaaaaally don’t want to go through more of the same grief. Wait; I am having a psychic moment…the big solution at the end of the game, the answer to the mystery…oh, there our missing elder man is, in the final picture, like reaching the end of Candy Land. Big whoop. By the time I get there, I’ll look back on all the time I invested in the games and cry.]

And, should you succeed, you may come away with any number of other useless items for combining one of your many random collections of images which the characters in the games fake caring about for flimsy reasons…or no reward at all. You might solve the picture and get nothing. That happens. Right? But, do try and try again and again, searching a thousand times if you must to find that lucky thread of payment. Then you can spend it on more useless stuff in your own games…or pay a small portion of a medical bill…maybe something for your eyes.

So, aren’t you glad I sent this payment? Aren’t you glad you made these ridiculously challenging and frustrating games that can crash, show pictures that don’t belong in the games and lose progress gained in a blink? Thank you for making them *free.* Now, I’d like my eyesight, time and heaps of patience back. [But, lovely artwork…the not-the-least-bit-creepy parts (not just about every male character that looks like some secretive killer), anyway.]

Sincerely, your pal,
Writingbolt

PS  The recent Halloween festival in Secret Society has been remotely refreshing, considering it didn’t involve a glitch…though that last glitch was somehow tied to downloading another of your games which does not seem to recharge energy and follow the clock/calendar of the other…as if you just cast that old child aside.

11
Apr
18

Like a Sad Puppy Looking Out the Window

By writingbolt 2 Comments
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

***

No.  You’re not going to find any sad but cute puppy pictures here.  Go clog your storage drives elsewhere.

I’m just expressing how I feel at the moment…at this stage in my life.  And, just to let you know, I’m going to get a bit long-winded; so get comfy and prepare yourself for some heavy paragraphs if you care to read.  But, if you want a more intimate look at the real me, this is about as close as you get without making the effort to reach out and connect via the pathways I provide.  I may repeat a few things from previous posts.

I feel like time is slipping away while I struggle to stand and get moving.  I hear about neighbors I don’t socialize with regularly, finding out their kids have already married and bought houses when it seems like only a few years ago they were kids playing in the backyard.  Have I actually reached THAT age?  Am I already the gray-haired elder who talks about the little ones being taller than I remember?

I’m not particularly physically handicapped.  But, I feel emotionally and mentally challenged…crippled.  I feel starved and deprived of good energies that I’d assume propel other people into action.

If someone says I just lack motivation, what does that mean?  I should be whipped like a slave?  I should throw myself in front of a bus or hit my head against a wall til I get the picture?  I just need to take more risks, more chances?  I’m not charitable enough?  I’m not “hungry” enough?  Exactly what direction should I move in to be doing this life right?  [No.  Don’t answer that one.  There are way too many people doling out answers they think are right, already.]

It’s sad to say, too, but I look forward to and sometimes rely upon emails to communicate.  I used to turn to the landline telephone.  But, reaching people isn’t always as easy, anymore, now that there are “options” and more things to distract people (rather than connect them).  I don’t mind leaving a message if I know I’ll get a response.  But, I don’t want to be the guy calling at “a bad time” and feeling like I am expecting the person to be my therapist while they are wondering when I’ll stop gabbing because they have “more important” things to do (that I could/should be doing myself).  Often enough, talking on the phone makes me feel worse, later, than I do composing a letter or email (which, for me, often turns out as long or longer than some letters I used to write).

So, when I finally do get an email or offer to email, I perk my head up a little and might even pant before responding as soon as possible.  Sometimes, I go out of my way, give it more time than most would, really try to make it into something special, something personal and considerate.  Over the years, I’ve realized that usually smells of desperation and is not–as often as I’d like–appreciated.

I try to be patient with others, particularly when they say they are sorry they cannot respond sooner/more often.  I say, “Oh, that’s okay.  You’re busy.  Take your time.”  And, then what happens?  I don’t hear from these people for weeks, months…  And, well, if it goes past a year, I pretty much assume our connection is dead.   [One sad, lonely dog, looking too hard for attention over here.]

“Back in the day,” (heh) you might write to a pen pal and wait a year for a response.  But, you were not considering that pen pal anything more than a seasonal visitor like the Easter Bunny or Kris Kringle.  You didn’t expect much from a pen pal and were grateful, hopefully, when they felt thoughtful enough to send a treat or souvenir.

I don’t look for pen pals at this stage of my life.  If my “circle” was that fulfilling but too local to satisfy my explorative interests, I might look for a stranger overseas to tell me tales.  But, these days, you don’t need a pen pal for that.  You can find people like that online!…in places like this one!  And, if they are friendly enough, you can exchange dialogue!  Isn’t that nice?  [Not that there’s much dialogue going around from what I can see.  More often, I see “award” notices, strangely worded/ignored comments from faceless strangers, brief words of vague sympathy and plenty of “snapshot” responses (the LIKES and the FOLLOWS) which are void of warmth.]

My timing and my low level of comfort with mingling are also terrible.  It seems I am always inside when others are taking walks outside.  [Again, the sad puppy looking out the windows.]  And, even if I cross paths with someone while walking, I’m in no way comfortable striking up a conversation.

For one, I don’t want to come off like an intrusion or misunderstood threat.  I don’t want to take away from the exercise or interaction someone else may be having with their exercise group/companion(s) (while I am almost always alone).  If they only have so much time to exercise, why try to or expect them to stop and gab as long as I may?

Secondly, or rather, additionally in regards to general discomfort, I am not comfortable talking on a walk or in public for more than a minute or two because I know my skin is thin and that I will break the dam wide open if given a chance.  And, the last thing I want is to get loud or breakdown among passersby who are likely to turn their heads and very quickly add to my discomfort.  What’s wrong with him?  Do you really want to know?  [Not to mention all the concerns I’d have of being rejected or “judged” for expressing or hearing something that disturbs one of us.]

What I really would like is to meet someone on a walk or online (or somewhere far more comfortable, wherever that is) and spark a conversation but take it somewhere more private so I don’t expose my “ills,” my concerns, my woes, my heavier thoughts to more people than necessary, especially to people you don’t know who are capable of doing things with your output that might shock and/or upset you.

And, I think that’s what I’ve been doing and striving to do since the internet began.  [I am pretty sure I’ve discussed my experiences with making contacts online elsewhere in my posts.  I just don’t feel like linking or repeating.  And, hey, if you really need to know, you just ask.]

I don’t or can’t expect someone I just met to welcome me into their home or car (and that doesn’t sound too smart to begin with, anyway). I really don’t know where to go to make this happen.  Nor do I have any bright idea or motivation to make myself more comfortable.  It’s one thing when you have a friend or “wingman” with you.  It’s a whole other to feel as fragile as I do and try to go it alone.  I mean, I am sure people do it and have done it.  And, if it comes down to it, I’ll figure out a way.  But, time is passing by so quickly, and I am still spinning my tires.

It sure would be nice if more people reached out to me, too.  Ya know?  I feel worse thinking the world is only going to get better if I make it better for myself (and others).  For all the stories I read of people making things happen, starting businesses and such, I don’t see people reaching out to me.  I keep getting the feeling like I’m different and have to do the leg work for others.  They might have tons of offers or be going through applications/resumes like some location seeking employees.  But, I remain the lone applicant just hoping to make a dent, to get my foot in a door.  [Stop looking like that, sad puppy man!]

Am I just living in some TV show or video game?  Is this just a 4D world in which I have the controller to make things happen?  Have I been so bewildered by the simulations that I forgot I am Player One?

Some would say I just need to get busy or be busier with my life.  When you’re busy, you don’t think as much (about these things).  And, while that may be true, do I want to busy myself with work that does nothing other than feed the careless, wasteful impulses of others (just because someone chooses to make a business of that, because someone convinced them this was profitable) or work for someone who sells a lie built around fear/doubt?

Oh, sure, I could get very busy.  I could not make any money and devote my life to charity because the world sure needs plenty of help.  But, I am terribly afraid of my social and general anxieties getting in the way, of ending up penniless and dependent upon some system I don’t necessarily understand or like.  It’s not like I would be good at balancing charity with doing everything I need to support myself.  I’d more likely give my all and wind up with nothing…or give so little that I feel like a cheapskate/miser.  It is all a bit too risky for me.  [Yet, charity sounds better than some alternatives.]

Sigh.  Woof!

 

 

 

 

31
Aug
15

New package, Same Product, Still Losers

By writingbolt 2 Comments
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Looking for Love and Happiness
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

********

That’s a quote (I think) from Megatron in the second season of Beast Wars.

********

It randomly comes to mind as I think about the concept of mail, letters, keeping in touch with those we care to converse but can’t quite reach by phone or in person for whatever reason.

I think back to a time when I first learned how to write a letter.  It was a very important matter that came in two varieties.  I wrote my first classmate as a pen pal, and we both laughed as if it was cute.  But, that didn’t last.  I wrote my first business letter and got one of the best surprises of my life.

The years roll by…and I would write letters in high school the way some kids pass notes in class.  No one really appreciated the effort.

More years roll by, and I see something in a magazine about pen pals.  I gave that a try.  And, lucky me, I met a gal who liked to doodle on envelopes the way I did.  We stayed in touch for a while.  But, I started to feel like I was back in grade school, only talking kid stuff and never really connecting with the person on what mattered at my “age.”  I needed more of a persona, mature connection, someone I could sit with and cry about adult matters.  Not a crazed toy and video game fan who only wanted to discuss the latest product as if she was working for the company.  So, I let that go.

Then came the age of the internet, and I learned the ropes of email and online chat.  I’ve approached countless strangers from around the globe and emailed a handful.  That handful comes and goes like the tide.  Faces change…heck, I don’t even get to see faces.  I didn’t see faces when I wrote on paper.  And, I don’t often see faces on the computer screen.  That much hasn’t changed.

But, what HAS changed is how–in this age of quick and easy responses–more time seems to escape me between contacts.  I go longer periods without hearing from someone I like and wonder if they haven’t just floated off into deep space or read something they didn’t care to read and took off like a scared gazelle.  I feel like I am stuck on an island sending out messages in a bottle.  And, how foolish I am to think I could keep speaking with any one who has the guts to respond just once.

Heck, it might even be my own fault sometimes….no, I do my part.  At least, until technology fails me.

How do I end this emotional rant?

How about…

Sincerely, the friend you haven’t met yet,

Writingbolt

02
Sep
13

How Do I Relocate A Lost FOLLOW?

By writingbolt 3 Comments
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I don’t see a search option bar where I could type in an ID or word I remember to relocate a blog I was following.  And, I am not sure how I stopped following it.  It just disappeared the day I lost control of my wireless mouse.  I’d like to get it back.  It’s like communicating from space.  If you lose contact with the planet, it’s just a lil bit (if not a great big bit) more lonely “up here”.

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