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When I was younger, I was seemingly raised to be a tense and worrisome perfectionist. I grew up worrying about every little scrape I might get and every red mark on a piece of homework and test. It didn’t occur to me until my teens that my family was trouble for my otherwise carefree soul.
I read about the “scarlet letter” and thought that was only something that happened to people from another time and place or when you did something so scandalous that people thought it was a sin. But, not every “scarlet letter” comes from sin. It can come from more common peer pressure, just for being different. And, it can be placed upon yourself when you feel like something you did wrong cannot be undone.
I’ve heard more than once that it’s okay to make mistakes because you are supposed to learn from them. But, how do you learn from a mistake that cannot be amended?
If you fail to do something at a once-in-a-lifetime moment, how can you learn anything? If there is such a thing as reincarnation, odds are you won’t remember the mistake you made–if the opportunity reappears for some strange repeating-life reason–unless you get hit with deja vu in time to spare the repeat mistake.
If there is only one of something in a game or your world, and you miss, break or lose it, it’s gone. If it’s “only a game,” there’s a chance you MIGHT be able to start over, retrace your steps and get that rare opportunity, again. But, it’s not guaranteed in every game. Especially with modern video-gaming, there are times when an opportunity cannot be reset, when an event or brief chance to get something comes and goes away. You didn’t see the notice? You didn’t participate in the week-long event? It’s gone. You missed it…and all that came with the opportunity.
What do you learn from that? If you came across another one-of-a-kind person, item or other opportunity, how would you know it’s that rare or precious until it’s gone? Would losing one one-of-a-kind something enforce you to grab everything and everyone that comes into your life from the moment you know you missed one? Wouldn’t that just as likely make you excessively tense and greedy and lead to hoarding? You could end up with a home full of stuff and a social life full of people you don’t need just because you felt a need to secure each and every one/thing that came within reach.
Some would say forget calling the incident a mistake. So, what then DO you call it? A…MISSED OPPORTUNITY? Is that any better? Do those two words sound better than the previous one? I missed an opportunity; let it go. I made a mistake; let it go. Is there a difference?
It might seem tolerable to make such a mistake when it doesn’t affect your body and/or soul. But, what if it does? What if that once-in-a-lifetime mistake costs you a part of your body and/or leaves you handicapped? What if your mistake resulted in making you a monster or doomed you to an afterlife of torture? Or, what if it leaves you penniless and…soon enough…homeless? Sure, some who wind up homeless find a way back to “riches,” if Hollywood and professional-sport survival stories are true. But, that’s not a guarantee (for everyone).
Just out of curiosity, would you say Adam and Eve ate the forbidden apple (from the tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden) because they were told it was a rare (and forbidden) opportunity or simply because they were hungry? The story seems to suggest they were curious about the forbidden tree or made curious by the serpent (not to mention God, who supposedly told them about the tree and warned them to avoid it) which ultimately coerces them to eat the apple.
Gee. They missed an opportunity to preserve their innocence and lost their paradise by eating some apple. Lesson learned. Right? MMmmm…I don’t know.
Surely, there were a number of apples in that tree. Was there only one moment in which Adam and Eve were safe to reach the tree? Could getting an apple have been like robbing a bank at which there is only a brief period when no security guard, camera and/or seal is protecting the loot? Was the tree or its apples going anywhere? Did the tree wither away or get up and leave the garden if Adam and Eve hesitated?
When Adam and Eve ate the apple, they “learned” about nudity and humility and were made to believe they had committed a terrible sin; the guilt-filled thoughts were put into their heads. When they left Eden, they had to learn how to survive, a second time/way. But, how could they learn from their biggest mistake if it never reappeared? It’s not like God was the sort of father who said, “I hope you’ve learned your lesson.” And, after that verbal bit, he just lets Adam and Eve back into the house. Adam and Eve didn’t get temporarily put in a corner or sent to bed without supper for one night.
Is there a second story about meeting a serpent in which Adam and Eve turned their noses and refused to be fooled, again?
There is a way to put all of this out of mind and attempt to return to that innocence Adam and Eve once knew. There is a saying. Life goes on…until it doesn’t…until it ceases, whether you did wrong or right.
Adam and Eve’s “mistake” did not end their lives but it took away their home in Eden. Life went on, bringing them a couple of crazy kids who couldn’t live together for long. And, many years later, here we are.
Is anything worth calling a mistake or missed opportunity? We have SOME control. Yet, even that remains uncertain. We can avoid things that do harm. But, we cannot guarantee avoiding one thing won’t cause another.
Maybe, the next time you do something “wrong,” whether it’s in a one-time-only video game or something closer to home/your precious life, you could dismiss the thought of guilt with three simple words.
Life goes on.
Well, not every life story ends like Disney’s Frozen. Does it? The people we hurt don’t always forgive and/or survive the harm we cause. Spirits of the fallen don’t magically reappear in visible (blue) form to smile and forgive us (even if some of us are fortunate enough to have visions). Some “ice” doesn’t seem to melt. Can we all just…let it go?
If only putting these “little stumbles” out of mind was easier. But, if it was…easier…we might become exceedingly careless and ruin everything for everyone even quicker than we already seem to be doing.
Now, you might be wondering what prompted me to write all of this at this time. Or, I just made you curious, like the serpent in Eden. Well…it’s a video game I (foolishly) played. I made a mistake. [Some would say it was a mistake to even start the game, like Jumanji.] And, the only way to undo that mistake would be to erase all the saved data and start over…which would cost me countless hours of retracing my steps. At least, there is that chance. But, is it worth the time and effort? Still, I awoke this morning, thinking what a mistake I had made, and I couldn’t let it go.
I have made other mistakes, in video games and life, mistakes I cannot undo/fix, and it seems impossible to learn from them. I’m not going to have “another opportunity” unless I repeat this life…and I surely don’t want that, even if people in TV shows and movies say “I would do it all over and wouldn’t change a thing.” No. I cannot imagine reaching the end of this life and being okay with reliving it unless the end was so miraculously blissful that the value of the prize was worth the torment. Instead, as much as I try to forget the mistakes, they remain with me. And, maybe that’s a mistake, too. But, it’s what I do.
Tell me it’s a mistake, and I’ll add your complaint to the pile. Or, help me to forget the troubles and to find a happier path through what remains of this life.
Some days, I find myself looking at other animals in nature and wondering how much simpler life would be if I was one of them. How simply wonderful and carefree it must be to live life as a squirrel, hunting nuts and seeds, building nests and chasing mates. Then…I start to wonder if they don’t say the same thing about us humans. And, what if the life we think is simpler is just as vexing as our own?
Ain’t humanity grand? We are all just so darn grand special with our abundance of thoughts. Thanks, mom and dad, for eating that apple. [Happy parents’ day. Ka-runch.]
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