Posts Tagged ‘model

19
Mar
23

What Your Favorite Rocket League Vehicle Says About You

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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I have these…er…theories or feelings, regarding drivers and the cars they use. It’s a whole color thing. And, I have serious agitation from people who drive white and red cars; the former don’t know how to drive and get into the most accidents while the latter are just hasty and dangerous to pedestrians and other drivers, including those white cars.

I have similar feelings, regarding players of Rocket League and the cars they choose. Here are my assessments of the choices players make.

If you drive a(n):

OCTANE (STARTER RC CAR) OR ITS “ZSR” COUSIN

You’re aiming for one thing; you want to be the next YouTube sensation and star acrobat. Or, if you’re not seeking fame of your own, you’re a superfan, sporting a crappy jersey. If you’re the latter, stay out of the game and just watch videos. If you’re the former, you really grind my gears. My goal is to prove you’re not the only star on the field.

BREAKOUT (STARTER HOTWHEEL?) OR ITS “TYPE-S” COUSIN

You are beginner trash. You were given three choices to start, and you picked the one that is the most lame, even if it gets its share of decent decals, now and then. While others are reaching for stardom or that special prize, you’ll be bouncing around a virtual soccer field for a few weeks before you give up on this game…or get smarter. If I see one of you on my team, I can expect failure, because you will likely bail or stall and leave me facing three feral opponents, alone. If I see one of you on the opposing team, I’ll just grin and skirt around you.

If you actually like/prefer the Type-S model, which must be encountered in a random “drop” situation, you’re really special. It looks like a bulimic tragedy. It makes the original Breakout look good, like the less attractive girl standing next to the most attractive girl in a high-school corridor. I’ve been “blessed” twice by this wreck. And, I’d throw it out, again, if I didn’t get a decent decal for it…which is really sad. It’s sad that I am resisting parting with a crappy car because of one decent decal. I have better cars to pursue and drive.

MERC (STARTER VAN)

You have the potential to be something special in this game. You are not a trend chaser. You are on the way to finding your own, unique path to greatness…if you keep practicing and find a more agile car to master.

BACKFIRE (ROADSTER)

You are definitely “old-school.” You or someone close to you is a motorcyle and/or muscle-car person, someone who likes exposed engines and working with greasy rags. You’re not a big fan of the pretty sports cars, and there are quite a few you could find in this game. But, no, you’d rather associate with the Harley-Davidson crowd.

ROAD HOG (COMPACT MONSTER TRUCK)

You’ve got character and a desire to be goalie…or, at least, a good defender, versus a goal chaser. You’re slightly more active than those who drive Mercs. And, like those Backfire drivers, you like a little muscle to show…and maybe listen to AC/DC.

MARAUDER (SPORTY ATV/OFF-ROAD HUMVEE-ESQUE VEHICLE)

You’re likely from Australia, New Zealand or Africa…or a fan of those places. And, you could be a Road-Hog driver…but you’d rather hang outdoors, close to nature. So, you’ll likely design your Marauder to look earthy, natural, and have it humming with an electric engine you believe won’t harm the Outback. G’Day, mate. I named my Marauder Safari Joe, after the Thundercats villain.

DOMINUS (FURIOUS LONGBODIUS) OR ITS “GT” COUSIN (HOODIUS MAXIMUS)

You have a need for speed and the muscle to back that speed up when those annoying Octanes get in your way of scoring big. You are not a child…unless you dress your Dominus like a clown car or toy. You’re still relatively new to this game…why? Because, if you were more “veteran,” you’d likely have another car model you enjoy more than this long, heavy boat, which is fairly difficult to steer when you need to make sharp turns and which is fairly flat when you want to deflect overhead shots from those pesky Octanes.

As an added perk (which I discovered AFTER I stopped driving the Dominus), you have access to almost as many decal options as the Octane. Why? Heck if I know. But, it’s as if the game wants to add one more irritation to my list by saying I gave up on something good. The Dominus wasn’t one of the “pro favorites” when I started; that’s why the game offered three other starters. But, no, suddenly, it’s tied for greatness with the Octane. You should have made the Dominus a starter, instead of the Breakout.

[Guess what. The Dominus is my ex. And, I broke up with her, but we’re still friends. I still think the Dominus version of the special-event decals (clearly made to favor the Octane) look lousy, especially the NFL ones. I’ve moved on…to the Diestro, which is a bit “retro” and a modest yet sleek sportscar with longer, fuller wavy hair that satisfies my “old flame.”]

MAMBA OR KOMODO

A rare sight which suggests you are a rare driver who likes to look like a shoe horn. You have a soft spot for the old Batmobiles that are more hood than seating space. You could be driving a more compact Jager 619 or Masamune, but you like the idea of just how long and sleek you are, without any of the weird attachments where doors should be…cuz, ya know, you might want to get out of the car, once in a while, without crawling out a window (if it opens). You like the Dominus but not as much, because it also looks a bit clunky. The Mondo makes you want to spread yourself across its exceptionally long hood and purr like a cat. Am I right? You won’t likely be performing any stellar stunts but might still be a decent blocker and get to the ball years before other players with shorter cars. Kudos on the slick pick, Roxanne.

INSIDIO OR NIMBUS (OR TYGRIS…OR PEREGRINE TT, IF YOU’VE EVER FOUND OR BUILT ONE FROM A BLUEPRINT…DOES ANYONE HAVE THESE CARS? CUZ I’VE GOT A DECAL FOR THE PEREGRINE TT, FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT SEASON FEATURED IT. SEASON 1? 2?)

I don’t often see these and am not sure how they vary. But, I’d say you are similar to the Cyclone and/or Centio crowds.

AFTERSHOCK (THE ODDITY THAT LOOKS LIKE AN F-16 TOMCAT FIGHTER JET)

You have a need for speed that matches those Top-Gun-named AI characters in the game. Give yourself a slick call sign and find a pair of sunglasses (or a pilot’s hat). ‘Cuz you’ll be taking to the air as you try to dazzle the other players with your acrobatics…except, you won’t be flying quite as high or well as those Octane showboats…because your car is heavier and bulkier. And, scoring will be slightly more challenging with that pointed nose of yours.

TAKUMI, MASAMUNE OR JAGER-619 (FAIRLY COMPACT PORSCHE-LIKE SPORTSCARS WITH FINS)

You’re cute…at least, if you’re a girl/woman in the driver seat. Your car is prime for being a pop star. Now, get yourself some Equalizer wheels and a decal that’s either anime-esque or animated and flashy. Enjoy playing casually because you won’t likely excel without exceptional skill and/or practice. You will, however, do well in Rumble Mode, as a smaller target. I’d pick you over the Fennec, any day. And, if you have the Jager-619, you’ve got exceptional good taste.

SCARAB OR ESPER

You are very odd. You’d rather look like a roller skate than make sense in this game. Like me, you might aim to prove Octanes are not the only cars having fun. Or, if that doesn’t even register in your unusual brain, you’re busy thinking about what will steal your attention, making you useless on the field. If you could focus on the game, you might make a decent goalie and block a few tricky shots with your unique shape and height. And, you might like to collect the music of Julie Buchanan, which has a slick roller-skating-style cover (for the Watch Me Go album).

You have a few decals which are examples of wasted art. The Derby Girl, Tiger and Hearts could have been given a better treatment on more visually pleasing cars (not including the Octane).

[I consider the Scarab and Esper those fun cars you use for special events/seasons when you need a break from your “standard” and don’t mind losing.]

GIZMO (AND ANY OTHER BOXY COMPACT WITHOUT A HOOD WHICH RESEMBLES A MINI-CAR)

You like rodents? You’re a fan of Tom and Jerry? Because you look like the head of one. Now, go chase that cheese and be as silly as possible. You won’t likely make a good teammate who scores…but you might still score points with me for humor, if you can make me laugh and forget about losing to some Octane freaks. You are like those Pokemon fans who pick Chansey over any of the other 800+ options out there for a strong partner who can survive a fight. You look like you could use a stuffed animal and a hug.

CENTIO, SAMURAI, PALADIN, HOTSHOT (AND ANY OTHER SIMILAR BROAD SPORTSCAR WITH A SEMI-BOXY, SEMI-ROUNDED DESIGN)

You’re a genuine low rider, a tactical driver that just might have a fear of heights (or losing control of yourself). You prefer to slip under the radar and stay close to the ground. You might make a good speed bump. If you’re really lucky, you’ll deflect some shots and force your opponents to score traitor goals. But, that would require the opponent to be blind and, maybe, for you to jump up a bit. ‘Hope you like overly complex/technical and/or earthy patterns, because those are the sorts of decals you’ll likely see until you get one of the more universal ones, which work on any car and are occasionally quite nice. I suspect you’d do well at ice hockey.

If your choice is the Hotshot, what you really want to drive is a tank. And, you probably feel like ruining someone’s day (because that car-tank is built to demolish…and never leave the ground). You’re reckless and dangerous on my team…unless you’re taking out the obnoxious acrobats for me. Sure, you might still be able to jump and flip, but you’re likely to trip over your own feet…er, wheels. You’ve chosen one of the game’s attempts to recreat the Batmobile, and the Batmobile doesn’t exactly fly well. Consider yourself a bounty hunter…and a bully.

“THE X- THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED” AND ITS “MK2” (Mortal Kombat 2?) COUSIN

Well, you definitely like sci-fi and probably enjoy all the evil items available to you, like the menacing and/or scary goal explosions. You don’t mind being a jerk…a bully…and pairing up with other vindictive, careless punks like yourself. If you’re not that jerk, you don’t see colors or shades of good and evil; everything is just a costume, neither right nor wrong. You’d be just as comfortable wearing feathery wings and a halo as you would wearing horns and hooves.

VULCAN

You’re not a Nintendo Switch player, unless you just wish Samus’ Gunship could be customized. Or, maybe, you wish this game had those futuristic cars from the old F-Zero racing games. Similar to fans of the “X- That Shall Not Be Named,” you like sci-fi and especially spaceships. You don’t care about being the best player; you’re set on just having fun. Still, because your car choice isn’t that much different from the Octane, you could do as well, I think. But, the Vulcan does seem a bit heavier and bulkier…like an Octane XL. It sort of looks like a lawn mower. Do you enjoy cutting grass? You might try getting the grass boost in some fun color, if not basic green.

TRITON

[If you have not seen this thing, it looks like a futuristic train crossed with a Batmobile. It’s…weird…and long and covered in armor.]

If the Triton is your choice for wheels, you…you’re smoking some very special weed. I mean, sure, this is a unique…possibly fun vehicle to drive, once in a while. I am sure I’ll come up with a decent costume for it, one of these days. I won one decal for it, some weeks or months ago, and hastily traded it in because…well…even the decal was odd and lame. But, if this is your cup of tea, you’re definitely special. And, as with some other models, you’re either not keen on winning or you like a challenge. Winning with this car is like running with heavy shackles on your ankles.

FENNEC (AND THE SEASON 10 SPECIAL CAR, WHICH LOOKS LIKE A ‘GREMLIN’)
OR
ENDO (AND ANY OTHER CYCLONE-WANNABE THAT HAS THE ANTENNA PLACED OFF TO ONE SIDE, INSTEAD OF CENTERED)
OR
DINGO (THE SMALLEST ‘SEDAN’ YOU MIGHT FIND)
OR
SEASON 10’s SUPERBAD CAR, THE VOLKSWAGON GOLF UTI

You’re special because you want to avoid making contact with the ball (and puck). Why? Because your car has no protruding edges (or is just very compact) and looks like a fetal lifeform. Because you’ll be lucky to make a goal without exceptional skill/training. Heck, you’ll be lucky to be good at assisting those wannabe star Octane drivers. You’d be luckier if you picked the Octane, one of the starter cars…which is very sad and agitating to say.

CYCLONE (AND ANY OTHER SIMILAR ROUNDED SPORTSCAR SHAPE WITH SOME EDGE)

You’re slick and a bit of a sci-fi fan. And, you value symmetry, because your antennae are centered on the back end. You must have incredible patience to wait for a decent universal decal, because the selection you start with is rather meager, selective and unlike the sets of decals most cars have.

VENOM

You either love Spider-Man villains and pretend this is Eddie Brock’s car…or you like venomous snakes and dune buggies. Yes. You must like dune buggies. The Venom looks like one of those cage-frame cars people race around desert settings…except it’s almost fully covered. It looks like the Mantis but with more height and less width. Like the Esper, Scarab, Aftershock and Mantis, it favors wheels (enlarges and fully exposes them); so enjoy showing those off when you get some. Don’t insult the car with drab, basic wheels. You might notice a similarity to the Octane and tell yourself that you don’t want to be just another one of those people; you prefer to take the road less traveled and make a difference.

SENTINEL, MANTIS (AND ANY OTHER EXOTIC CARS OF THAT PARTICULAR UNCONVENTIONAL LONG AND/OR WIDE STYLE/SHAPE)

You seek to stand out, even if it makes you less popular. You’re a rebel with your own cause. You’re sticking it to the man, and I support you…a little. You also like big wheels; so have fun collecting the most dazzling sets and forget about those animated decals which won’t look as good on you. Perhaps you have big feet, as well? [I just say that because the Sentinel looks like the foot of a basketball player.]

PROTEUS (THE SUBMARINE-ON-WHEELS WITH GRABBING ARMS…AND WHATEVER THAT OTHER VEHICLE IS CALLED THAT LOOKS LIKE AN UNMANNED TRACTOR WITH A HOOD LIKE ONE OF THE ACID-DROOLING ALIENS FROM THOSE JAMES CAMERON MOVIES)

You have a respectable sense of humor, and I’d be interested in meeting you. You probably like exploring, traveling abroad and/or being in water. You could be someone who previously favored the Merc (for your starter) but needed something more colorful and/or quirky to enjoy. You might like clowns and looking like one. This is certainly a fun alternative option to drive, and there have been a number of wet accents to add to the vehicle. If you could pull off aerial stunts like those Octane monsters, I’d likely salute you…if you’re on my team…because you’d prove even a clunky, boxy submarine can be a star. You don’t likely care much about decals…because the selection for this vehicle is slim, and the universal ones don’t look much better on something so cluttered with technical bits. [Waveform looks okay, I guess. But, waves make less sense on the Orange car version.] It’s designed to enjoy as-is and screams for the Bubbles and/or Torrent boost.

RIPPER OR THE (FORTNITE) BATTLE BUS

[Oh my gosh; I almost forgot about you…because I haven’t driven you since Season 3.]

Clearly, you’re a fan of violence and/or violent video games. You’re looking to punish someone or take out frustration the way I would with old games like Double Dragon.

If the Ripper is your horse, you like Mad Max movies (or would if you saw them). This is the “free” Batmobile, the movie car you never knew you wanted…and then think twice about when you realize how decals don’t look so good…because this car is a bunch of junk pieced together. It’s post-apocalyptic and heavy.

If the Battle Bus is your muse, you could be a Merc fan who just desperately wants to be more unique…even if this is the poster-child of Fortnite fans, which outnumber the fans of this game, I suspect. You’d probably love a Rocket League Kart game, like Mario Kart, in which you’d race the Rocket League gallery of cars on various tracks and knock out other drivers with wacky weapons before crossing the finish line.

But, if you stick with this car (or bus), you don’t care about how you look…or drive. You just need to hit the road and drive until you cannot see straight, anymore. You can feel free to get piss drunk and be stupid in this car. No one expects you to perform well in any way. This is a slightly nicer way to be a monster without being the “X- That Shall Not Be Named.”

ANIMUS GP AND ANY OTHER INDY/FORMULA RACE CAR

You actually belong in the same group as those who drive the Centio, but you’ve got a particularly special interest in professional car racing. While these cars look like real-world models, they lack some of the stream-lined appeal, adding parts to the frame that make the cars look weak/fragile. I have an Animus GP but am NOT a big fan of professional car racing. Instead, I just like the idea of pretending I’m an Indy-car racer or a Transformer from the 1980s, named Mirage. Are you the same? Do you like cats? Because the Animus GP comes with two decals that seem to favor big and small (domestic) cats. I wonder why. Your chances of being a stellar soccer player are challenged by being low to the ground. Yet, you’d likely do well in ice hockey…which is just strange, an Indy racing car chasing a puck around a field of ice. If more players would be like you (and I), there would be a chance of having a comical Indy-racing competition…instead of a fleet of juvenile R/C cars banging into each other.

DIESTRO

Welcome to the team. My team, anyway, if you can drive this car well enough. Treat her right, and she will reward you with her compromise of height, weight and width, somewhat shorter in height than the Octane, somewhat shorter in length than the Dominus and somewhat wider than the Breakout with a respectable amount of style. Come with me, and we’ll take this game to its limits. Just keep your head, or we’ll be finished. Homer Simpson knows what I mean; he drives a LA-Z Rider.

[Although, ever since I started favoring the Diestro, it seems like the game no longer likes me. ‘Not that it particularly liked me when I started…but, back at the beginning, when I still was learning how to flip and before I could dare to fly, I scored a few decent items. A year ago, I got a goal explosion I desperately needed to feel better than dirt. But, since then, it’s been rough, tough, tough love…and hate…lots of hate. I’ve only seen one new decal for the Diestro, while the starter cars and Dominus get plenty; even the Backfire, which I’ve driven maybe once?…has seen more free-player-reward action than the Diestro.]

ANY OF THOSE MOVIE-BASED VEHICLES YOU ARE PERIODICALLY PRESSED TO BUY (THE KITT <KNIGHT RIDER>, BATMOBILE, DELORIAN <BACK TO THE FUTURE>, ECTO-1 <GHOSTBUSTERS>, ETC.)

You don’t care about variety as much as you care about having something someone else already made their famous beeyatch. You remember the movie or TV show and want to believe you’re the driver of that vehicle. Well, Marty McWayne, get flying. If you’re a Delorian, you might just outshine some of those Octane menaces. I’ve seen a few pull off some crazy flying stunts. If you’re a Batmobile, Kitt or Ecto-1, you’re comic relief, at best. Have a good laugh at yourself and then apologize to your teammates before they get you banned from future games.

[However, I am tempted to get the Kitt and the special controller topper which allows you to steer your controller to drive the car, versus using joysticks/buttons to steer; that does sound refreshing. There should be that control option for all car models, to switch from manual to automated/motion-sensitive steering.]

ANY OF THOSE SPECIAL NAME-BRAND CARS YOU HAVE TO PAY 10-20 BUCKS TO USE (NOT INCLUDING THE CARS FROM MOVIES)

You definitely have rich taste and can afford to play better games. But, you prefer to turn that very elegant sports car into a pile of burning feces. You’re getting smoked by the salivating, acne-crusted and potentially overweight Octane freaks, but you don’t care…because you’re worth millions…even if some of those Octane drivers are making millions, somehow, in this odd world that favors certain gamers like actual athletes who get physically hurt on a real field. You’d rather look good in a very conventional way than be a clown or flashy thrill. Oh, sure, you could don decals like the other cars have, but then people might not recognize the expense you made.

24
Sep
21

Outlook on the Future of Fashion Modeling

By writingbolt 4 Comments
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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So, I am watching this PBS special about “The Future of Work” and see, among other things, a model concerned for the future of her career choice when a photographer–who looks like a blend of a certain chubby late-night-talk-show host, Benny Hill** and Andy Warhol–is turning images of real, living models into “avatars” and CG presentations.

[I’m also first hearing about something called a “digital nomad” which appears to be nothing more than a photographer and YouTube/Instagram video maker who totes a “smartphone” and a rather large digital camera to capture everything he/she does while traveling the world. How exactly is that a career, and who pays the salary? How are you not just “working on commission?” How do you process tax papers with that line of work; where’s the W-2 form in that?]

**Eesh! I’m realizing people under 40 probably have no clue who Benny Hill is. Oh well.

I ask what is the point of turning real models into digital mannequins. It’s too much license to mess with what the artists are calling realistic synthetic modeling. I mean…does that even make sense; realistic and synthetic in the same sentence? Isn’t this the mouse and the cookie? If you make a digital figurine, you’re going to want to augment him/her and get sucked into perfecting the art.

Women are already struggling with being accepted, equated with their male coworkers. Models and gymnasts, for examples, are beaten into submission to maintain a certain dimension of physique, which is why NOW we are first seeing rebellious models who defy the old standards. And, just as that’s happening, we’re going to turn real models into CG replacements?

Don’t you think viewing digital models will mess with people’s already fragile self-esteem? Now, people will envy a fake person instead of a real one (who may or may not have had her/his image altered with an airbrush tool and/or other computer applications). That’s no different than seeing a white plaster mannequin in a department store (which is already going the way of the dinosaurs). That’s not a realistic figure wearing the clothes I want to buy; I’m not going to look like that in that outfit. It’s a dummy; and, last I checked in the mirror, I may be foolish at times, but I’m no dummy.

I understand one possible explanation if we take into account present circumstances. Right now, in this “pandemic,” travel and being hands-on with other people is a bit of a taboo. It’s risky to get that close to anyone, especially if you’re traveling and interacting with numerous people. So, if you need to keep modeling but cannot travel, for whatever reason, you supply a digital representation of yourself to stand-in for that role; you essentially lend an alternative you to perform certain tasks.

[Buuut, shouldn’t that virtual model still look like you? If it’s another person, entirely, what’s to stop someone from cutting your check a little smaller, each time, until you get paid nothing? Did YOU make the digital model of yourself? Or, did some “agent” take full care of that task?]

But, again, that’s not the real you. You get away with never worrying about adding an inch to your waistline and pretending you’re always that pretty. But, it’s not you. And, the more you get comfortable with “faking it,” the less you’re going to like/accept reality. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like yet another recipe for a not-too-slow burn to suicide.

Why do so many stories about stage plays involve actors and actresses who turn bitter toward stand-ins? The “stars” don’t want to be replaced; they don’t want to lose their careers just because some newcomer got a free audition on their shift. But, in modeling, the new CG model WOULD be a replacement, a stand-in. Sure, real models could potentially claim ownership of their digital counterparts, but, somehow, I expect some “legal loophole” to appear that just as easily takes away a real model’s rights and puts all the power in the hands of the CG artists.

If you think about this another way, what’s the difference between painting a portrait and taking a photograph of someone? A painting is an investment of time and testament of skill with the hand (or whatever you might use to paint) and, usually, very fussy materials, producing one image of a real object or creature on a “canvas.” A photograph (one that is not later edited, to be specific) represents one’s skill with composition and their eye for details, like lighting, in the blink of an eye, a precise moment of attention focused on a subject.

Now, take away the time it takes to make a painting and the skill of the hand. Just give me a button to push and watch me turn something into a painting. What skill did I hone? What did I learn? Nothing. Someone else made the thing that made the painting for me; I just pushed a button. I might still get some money for my “work,” but not as much as the guy (or gal) who designed the instant-gratification tool.

[And, if you don’t mind the labor, look at the other option. Take away the quick-action cameras and force yourself to paint a photograph. How long will it take you to make the image look as clear and real as what you see with your own eyes? Go ahead and share your struggles; I’ll be patient (or impatient) with you.]

Here’s my…um…solution?

If everyone’s idea of “work” is getting a radical makeover, due to this “pandemic,” then it’s about time we start thinking of models as not just people posing for a camera (and worrying about the condition of their bodies) but people who act, think and speak as MODEL HUMAN BEINGS, as well. Let’s tear apart the outdated fragility and simplicity of modeling and turn it into an empowering art form.

Models don’t have to just be “perfect” photographs and runway candy. They can be MUSES who inspire not just career and fashion choices but lifestyle choices and outlooks. [If you’re a pretty face and, yet, a “bitch” and/or someone with a bad habit perpetually caught on camera, you might attract someone’s attention for a minute or be prodded to misbehave for someone’s amusement…but you won’t likely be “loved” for your behavior/foul attitude.]

Actually, can we just be totally honest for a minute? Have fashion models ever shown someone they can look as good in an outfit? If you’re lucky, you’ve got a figure LIKE a particular model; you might have the same skin tone, waistline or whatever, but you’re never THAT model. The clothes won’t fit your body exactly the same way. What size are you? It doesn’t matter. You could be two women who wear the same size dress and receive differing opinions in that dress. Nothing a model has to offer visually truly reflects what you will have, see or be if you try to copy that model. The model, in essence, remains an inspiration (or idol/ideal), not a proven or guaranteed test result.

Instead of dragging yourself down into thinking you need to eat like a bird and put up with abusive management to look good, let anyone who wants to appear in photos (and other forms of media) be a model of what they view as good, moral behavior. Let’s curb our bad habits and vices by being honest about our weaknesses while portraying ourselves as the people we want others to emulate. [Don’t fake anything.]

[And, for crying out loud, let’s get over this hump of making every public appearance into a job interview, praising our coworkers/bosses and trying to perfect a “resume” or “portfolio.” If you have issues with your coworker or boss, be honest about it! Let’s stop slapping red ink on people for voicing their discomfort and/or disapproval. You’re not unfit to work someplace just because your last boss was a jerk (in your opinion) or you were involved in a scandal; that does not adequately reflect your value nor your limits.]

If you weigh over 150 lbs. and have “baggage,” you could still be a model if you felt your “comfortable” lifestyle was worth mentioning. Tell the world how your choices have brought you success and/or happiness (without fabricating and/or exaggerating just to impress). Model your achievements and contentment. [If you are NOT content/comfortable, then you might reconsider modeling because you’re never going to look naturally “good” in photos; your discomfort will show.] Be a ROLE model.

If you truly eat right, stay active and generally feel good about your life, show it off (without boasting/flaunting). After all, what is the purpose of modeling?…to inspire others, particularly inspiring them to go after what a model displays, their fashions and/or physiques. If your choices work for you, and you’d like others to follow in your footsteps, display that.

[However, don’t try to convince anyone that your particular choices are going to work for them. Remember my previous dress analogy; what works for one person isn’t exactly going to satisfy another. It’s just a suggestion and what made one particular person “glow” for you.]

[Sadly, the current trend of “influencing” via “smartphones” is not sufficient for this task, contributing to laziness and low self-esteem; too many are sucked into the LIKE-ing and FOLLOW-ing system and staring mindlessly at small screens. I don’t think that is helping anyone. It’s a sort of vicarious living. We need to take the role-modeling–which, lately, seems to be glamorizing laziness and careless exposure–off the small screen and put it somewhere people can be inspired to act on their desires (without harming themselves).]

MODEL YOURSELF.

Show yourself off as you want the world to see you and find pride in that. [But, do not find the sort of pride that inflates your head to the point of stepping on others “below” you.] And, this way, anyone can be a model, not just a photographed “ideal” (subject to opinion…because–let’s be honest–beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder…and not all model photos are what I’d call tasteful nor respectable).

Does this endanger or improve the number of slots for models? You figure it out. [I just told you.]

Let’s turn MODELS into ROLE MODELS.

It’s a job upgrade, not down-sizing. You’re sure to get paid more because you’re giving more of yourself than just a perfected image. You’re not valued solely for your looks which are subject to aging. [And, if anyone tries to put/bring you down, you just stand up and let that fool bounce right off your impressive profile. That foul behavior is just one person’s opinion.] You’ll never outlive your career because it travels with you for as long as you live. You won’t be forgotten after turning a certain age (because you no longer match a photo from thirty years ago). You’ll be forever remembered by those who value you as a person.

[That’s how I value women like Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum. They’re not just “centerfolds” (and I wouldn’t even feel right displaying those photos). They have exhilarating personalities and, I’m sure (though I haven’t had much chance to “live with them”), more to capture my awe than just a pretty face. I’ll be honest, their faces, regardless of age, still have a certain sparkle. They could be couch potatoes who have the worst eating habits, and I’d still find reason to admire them because they’re “real” and outspoken, not afraid to speak their minds (though, occasionally, they appear a bit rude and/or insensitive). If all they had to offer were a few preened photographs, I’d toss them aside or hang them up with the other fantasies and never know their true worth.]

Some might say my idea is just as bad for self-esteem. Now, models have to be concerned with their way of living, not just their appearances on camera? Aspiring models might give up trying because they think less of themselves, because they can’t match the colorful lifestyles of the people they admire, because they don’t feel as if they have lives worth promoting?

Okay. Well, you could look at this as intimidation…or you could look at it as bolstering what makes you a model (worth respecting, instead of just marketing and scrutinizing).

If all you have to offer, right now, is your “face,” then maybe you get in the “pretty faces only” line and foolishly try to keep that face from losing its smooth luster. You can throw in another heap of insecurity as opinions of your “pretty face” continue to differ; you might get approved and work with one studio while rejected by another (or others). It’s a gamble (versus a sure thing: being you).

[Is plastic/cosmetic surgery, bent on imperfectly preserving your looks while walking the path of aging, healthy or natural? And, if you subject yourself to such surgery, are you fixing a one-time “incident,” trying to alter your nature or hoping to constantly remake something that refuses to take the perfect shape you never quite seem able to see?]

The legend of Hercules (or Heracles) didn’t happen in one day. Many tales were written about his life. His legendary status came from a lifetime of activity, of modeling his choices. He was a noteworthy celebrity and a role model in his own way (whether or not you think he was a real person).

Sure; you’ll have more competition. But, everyone is also free to choose what models they want to emulate, not just limited to a handful of this year’s “hot properties.” You’ll have greater freedom to live as you desire. And, ultimately, won’t that make us all feel better about this life?

Boom. Suicide and eating-disorder statistics reduced. The general health and well-being of modern human life improved.

09
Jun
16

Dear Alexandria Morgan (the model, not the soccer player)

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Looking for Love and Happiness and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Alexandria,

AlexandriaMorgan-bearscap-freshface-closeup_5ft10in-12211993-1

*****
You have a fresh face with striking features. And, like many models, you are tall. In fact, you’re the perfect height (for me). I am just seeing it for the first time and quite captivated. One might think you were just a kid roped into the business if they didn’t do a lil research. [I certainly was a bit concerned.]

I did a lil astrological research and learned we are quite a match. Except for one detail. The year you were born could be a problem. Some would say opposites attract. I remain a bit skeptical.

You’re also practically a perfect fit for a character I have been working into recent books (I write).

I’d like to talk with you more personally/privately and get to know you better. But, I don’t see a way to do that. [I don’t partake in certain “social media” locales.] So, if interested in knowing more, please contact me via the link above. Thanks.

[Hopefully, you’ll find this in a favorable light and time.  As with other letters I have written here, I am sending wishful thoughts into cyberspace.]

Sincerely,
Writingbolt

07
Apr
15

Chubby Women Can Be Angels, Too

By writingbolt 12 Comments
Categories: Concerns and Alerts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I seem to be relying upon televised gossip to motivate my blog posts, lately.  Today’s motivating piece of media involves a movement by bigger women (those without the standard “super model” figure) to show off their undergarments and claim they are NO ANGELS.  Why angels?  I wonder myself.  Well, it seems Victoria Secret, the infamous lingerie company, has been promoting a line of lingerie under the Angel banner.  And, every woman who feels inferior to those models wearing the Angel line and who has a bone to pick is speaking out visually.  Surely, you can do a search for NO ANGEL and find your fill of these chubby rebels against the super model machine.

While I think it’s noble of these not-so-trim women to defend beauty in other shapes…and while I agree with those who say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…I also think:

1) Victoria Secret should be the ones saying they’re no angels, because they are apparently making these other women turn to the dark side for lacking a model figure.  Victoria Secret is always trying to seduce viewers.  That sounds more like a tempting entity than an angel.  Just because they wear wings doesn’t mean they are true angels.  Not by a long shot.

2) The chubby women who feel excluded from the angel label should consider themselves “chubby cherubs,” instead.  I know plenty of chubby angels.  I don’t want chubby beauties feeling like the only option left for them comes with horns and a pitchfork.

A choice of words can turn you toward the light or the dark side.  So, stand tall and proud in your underwear, all of you who wear plus-sized lingerie and hide your bulges.  You too can be angels and show off your own wings.  The sticks doing tricks are just posers.

11
Aug
14

They Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Have you ever heard someone say that about some machine, toy, phone, “doodad” or gizmo? You know…the title of this piece. It’s something I haven’t heard myself in a while. But, that’s just because I am no longer a kid surrounded by elderly folks. Those who said it to me have passed on, already. But, the message still rings true now and then.

There was a time not too long ago when adults of the ’60s looked at the toys and technology of the ’80s–particularly television sets–and said, “They sure don’t make them like they used to.” This was shortly after Americans took a break from bitching about the “China-men” making inferior products. But, even today, if you listen to some of these millionaire business types, where would they be if they didn’t have their production lines overseas? Not too long ago, there was a big stink being raised about lead paint on toys. Lead paint; something I haven’t heard about since childhood when there was considerable concern about kids eating paint chips from older houses. [But, if you get me started on lead paint and the Chinese labor force working for the U.S.A., we’ll be here all week.]

The point I am slowly trying to make is…

If you look at modern technology–everything from lawn equipment to household appliances to your “newfangled” flat TVs and razor-thin-ready-to-snap-at-any-moment computers–you don’t see many–if any–lifetime warranties. You’re lucky if you get a five-year warranty. What amazes me is how some manufacturers will avoid a fuss and let you have a replacement (sometimes at an additional expense even if it’s considerably smaller).

Back when, replacements didn’t come so easily. You didn’t trade in a $100+ phone made from nuclear waste that does everything from flash a light under your bed to manage your banking/spending every two years. You bought a phone that plugged into the wall and was glad it was still working when the power went out. Now, you drop your “phone” (and I use the term lightly) in a puddle or on the sidewalk (because you have to have it with you at all times), and you’re lucky if you aren’t forking over another $200+ for a replacement.

[You see how the price shot up in just a few years? There was a time when you expected a fairly standard price for a phone. The technology didn’t change in two years, and what you had worked just fine if you didn’t take it outside and throw/drop it everywhere, you klutzes. AND, your hand didn’t vibrate or glow in the dark after holding your phone for a few hours. Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating about the hand glowing in the dark.]

There was a time when you bought something with little fear of it not working in as many as ten years or more. You trusted a name that built a reputation for itself. You trusted the materials with which the item was made.

There was a time not so long ago when cash was so scarce, they called it the Great Depression, and countless lives were in financial jeopardy. Back then, they didn’t have “smart phone plans” to worry about. They didn’t even have video entertainment. How in the world did they live?!…you kids might ask. Well, I am fairly sure there was probably the same business scheming going on then as it is today. It just came under a different label as it drove people broke. But, whatever it was, I am sure it lasted the people a few more years than a computer telling its user, “It’s been two years. Replace me.”

You know what piece of technology hasn’t changed much since the dawn of time? Mankind. We may have lost some hair and body mass (ha). We may have learned to stand up straighter and use different words now and then. We may have changed the way we eat our food, dress and clean ourselves. We probably earned a longer life expectancy from working less and sitting on those asses people have been pointing and shaking their heads at, lately. But, we can be just as dumb as our ancestors.

How dumb are we? Well, we’re so dumb that we will slap anything on our skin or trust another human being to make us look young, “pretty” or “handsome.” We’re so dumb that we take pills as directed by other humans only to suffer side-effects we should have seen coming (but we didn’t…because we’re so dumb). We’re so dumb that we will burn a plant in our mouths or wash one down our throats to fight stress only to risk the lives of others around us and put that stress on our bodily organs, anyway. We’re so dumb that we move just like cattle as we chase the latest things because the ones someone stopped making last summer are now obsolete.

Can you replace your grandparents or siblings so easily? I think not. No matter what insurance policy you buy, pill you take or defense system you install, you don’t have a lifetime warranty or even a two-year warranty. Your number could be up tomorrow. [That’s another fairly old piece of lingo, by the way. Your number being up. For those of you born after the cellphone, it means “you could die.”]

So, the next time you think about buying some new gadget, trinket or Macintablet or reach for a fresh (or freshly charged) battery pack, remember what ol’ Writingbolt just told you. You can either drain your bank account (which was filled with your life force applied to that thing called work…of whatever kind you employ) every few years chasing stupidity. Or, you can wise up and rethink the way this world appears to be going. Buy something more reliable. And, invest in those around you who are worth more than any self-destructing wireless “life-distactor.”

Maybe it’s time we all slowed down to think instead of trying to be the one who throws him or herself into a wall the fastest. Yeah. That sounds dumb. Just give it time. I’m sure it’s out there on YouBoobTube, already. And, it’s getting a billion hits.

There was a time when hits were something your older brother…

10
Jul
14

Do You Attach Your Face to Things You Do Not Like/Use?

By writingbolt Leave a Comment
Categories: Concerns and Alerts and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Have I already told you how much I get irked by advertising and any spokesperson/”news anchor” who seems locked into either only saying good things about everything they are forced to pitch** or spreading foul gossip? It just happens to be something that has built up an intolerance in me at this time. Thus, I am taking this moment to release some mental debris.

[You like picking your way through other people’s thoughts; right? If so, have at this lot. But, you may want to bring along a snack and/or beverage as I get a little “windy.”]

**You’re honestly going to see every movie you mention whether it suits your interest or not? Sure you are. Maybe if someone pays you a favorable sum just to do it. But, I guarantee you won’t like every last one. Still, you will sit with a fabricated smile upon your plastic face and tell the world how great they all are because, for some twisted reason, your paycheck depends upon such nonsense.

[Some would say I have too much free time if I let such things bother me. They don’t watch TV or don’t see what I do. They say I give such things too much thought when they and/or others just let them be. And, perhaps, they use them without thinking as much. To each their own.]

In a magazine, newspaper or one of the many lame “flash” slots you find on a PC/tablet/phone screen, you may only get a static image of someone modeling for a product/service. And, there’s a good chance the model’s image has absolutely nothing to do with the product (other than, perhaps, the environment in which the product may be used).

[“That woman is dressed for the office. That product must be good for my suffocating work station. Surely, it will make me feel better at the end of my shift.”
OR
“That man is dressed for the office. I should add that (potentially addictive/hazardous, ridiculously small and ineffective sample size) product to the (senseless and wasteful) swag bags for all of my employees at the next company function and shake hands with the representative/s for the manufacturer to boost revenue/merger/buyout potential.”]

In some hastily assembled cases, the ads use images snatched from web sites/online photo galleries (with proper permission/payment, we assume). Does that model truly support or use the product advertised with their face/body? Probably not. More likely, the model needed money and was willing to pose in some outfit they did not pick themselves before their image was used for all sorts of merchandising and questionable services in the hands of countless “businesses.”

How low it must be to buy/borrow/steal these models and slap them in some ad like a common hand or package. Sure, maybe the models signed themselves over to partake, but does that mean those seeking representation have to morally cheat or buy up every/any “prostitute” in town? What if the product/service is assuredly bogus/worthless or corrupt? How sad it must be to see your face on an ad for a product/service you don’t personally approve. I personally would not want my face/artwork/image in one for something toxic like sex “toys,” cigarettes or pills of any kind promising benefits at the expense of retirement/daily necessity funds and baffling side effects. How sad it is to see what people will do for a buck only to cost countless others their bucks for no good reason/result.

With “televised” commercials, it’s quite similar if not worse. I think it’s worse to invest more time exposing oneself as a spokesperson/representative of a product/service one doesn’t support (or filming a scene without knowing what it will be used to support/promote). How sad to be a struggling actor/actress forced to take on such a mindless role in hopes of proving oneself worthy of licking the lint off the wardrobe of some “bigger name” who offers a “better” job. I don’t think I’d feel so good about my fame and limited fortune with some undesirable commercial (or “porn”) in my history book. I sure don’t want to end up on some talk show where the host thinks it’s positively amusing to dig up that soulless garbage.

I see an add for some “tragic” disease or ailment attributed to the use of some form of modern medicine, and it features a young man or woman with his/her head in their hands. I can only imagine the photographer telling this individual to look depressed/hopeless in order to boost sales of the “cure.” If the person is genuinely afflicted by the ailment, I suppose there might be some “justice” in getting the word out. Yet, those who know the person might pester them more often rather than be of any help/support. If the person is just an actor/model…who wants to be the poster child for a potentially fatal disease?!

Every now and then, I imagine myself being “famous” and trying to be selective about what talk shows I visit while some agent insists I have to make an appearance on some crappy one lest I take a dive into fan bankruptcy. If forced to appear before some immoral/amoral host, I tell myself not to partake in their misguided amusement and verbally/publicly speak out against them if they cross my boundaries. I’d rather save the trouble of scandal and lawsuit, skip the chicken feed to maintain my overpriced and exceedingly large mansion in range of brush fires or other natural disasters and keep all relationship details hidden away like a hermit.

The more I hear of actors/actresses not wanting to watch themselves on film, seeing therapists and/or being stalked by paparazzi, the less I like the idea of “fame.” I’d like to kick all those “camera mosquitoes” where the sun doesn’t shine for harassing/disrupting the lives of these “celebrities” whether the latter ask for more attention or not. And, if they ask for cameras to risk blinding them or stealing every shred of privacy for tabloid bull crap, how sick is that? What body part do they sacrifice first to ease some twisted part of their brains? What separates the side-effects of fame from the closet habits of other mentally troubled souls who resort to “cutting” and eating disorders?

In recent years, it’s been made easier. You don’t need an agent. Just make your own or get someone to set up a plot in cyberspace and fill it with all sorts of mental dust bunnies. Do you really need to know what I eat for breakfast or what I am wearing to get through your day/life? Not unless you’re taking notes on how to be a stalker.

Seriously, what is the sense of all this excess information tracking? How is this helping people to interact peacefully or to simplify their lives? How is this beneficially entertaining unless you are actual friends with these people, sharing this information when you meet for (lunch)? In an ideal world of people struggling to ask each other out on dates, I suppose such detailed “bios” might grease the wheels with surprises of one’s favorite this or that. But, from my observation, the odds seem to be in favor of abusing/misusing provided information. At least, the “water” seems too polluted with gossip, scandal and threats to one’s life to be of any serious benefit…unless you somehow feed/live off of such vices.

But, I suppose, I could save breath, and we could all just stop exposing our eyes (and ears) to advertising/video as a whole. Ay?

Suppose, many years from now, we all want to laugh and/or cry for investing in all of these all-in-one gizmos designed to do everything from light the dark spaces under our furniture to manage our daily activities and bank accounts yet fall apart at great expense in the clumsiest of hands. Suppose we learned sooner than later not to put all of our eggs in one expensive basket and lived without tools that still rely on batteries and risk radiation poisoning with consequences yet to be fully understood/seen. Suppose we did something about filling landfills with trending garbage and sacrificing our dignity/privacy/health to false quick fixes. Suppose we said “adios” to all things internet and televised/advertised/radio-broadcasted and started focusing on producing what we needed in peace and harmony with the rest of nature. I imagine that would have some gloomy side effect of its own, unleashing some other unpleasant, dark cloud upon the masses for not submitting themselves to the questionable imagery and sales pitches.

[Now, suppose I wrote all of this for nothing and didn’t have digital/internet space to fill with these thoughts. I suppose I’d share it the old way, face-to-face, with whoever I found willing to share such thoughts in my proximity.]

If anything is to be learned from superheroes and related kids shows, it’s that–no matter how you dress it up–there will perpetually be some scum out there we have to either elude or fight off til the next crap maker comes along to pester us. The enemy doesn’t wear colorful or stereotypical costumes and/or fully disclose their diabolical plans to the world. Nor are the creatures that lurk in the shadows as dangerous as what humans can and often do inflict upon themselves/their fellow “man.” We “citizens” have to be more aware and make better decisions to save ourselves in more ways than we care to ponder.

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