Writingbolt's Creation

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Come, sit and watch the World Cup (of soccer/futbol/football) with me. Take a break from all things economy and political. Maybe you can explain something to me.

Why do soccer players pass the ball backward?…to the goalie?

What is achieved by backward movement, versus forward progress?

In American football, occasionally, players might make use of “lateral” moves. The offensive team’s ball holder (what is the proper term for that position?) passes the ball, backward, to the quarterback before he decides to throw, hand off or run. But, generally, the ball progresses in one direction.

In soccer, I understand how you might have only one person to pass the ball, who stands somewhere to your side and maybe to the rear. But, the goalie? Why go that far back and chance the other team racing to score?

Why do they do it? Because there’s no visible way to move forward? What difference is the goalie going to make? They’re just going to throw or kick the ball away from the goal, anyway.

You’re putting your faith in the last line of your defense, a single player, when you pass the ball to the goalie. At best, he (or she) is going to kick the ball far down field, with no guarantee it will land in the possession of a teammate. You could do the same and be further down field, closer to the goal you seek, not the one you defend. Even if your kick puts the ball in the other team’s…er, feet, it doesn’t count as an interception or count against you. It puts you closer to your goal. Relax. You can get the ball back.

But, no, chicken out, pass the ball to your goalie and then cry foul when the other team brushes your ankle. [Pardon me for being blunt, but…pansies. I still refrain from using a more potent word, only because I fear losing my soap box in the world of “cancel culture.”]

A ninja/kunoichi doesn’t start with the caltrops and smoke bombs. Those are his/her getaway tools. The goalie is your team’s getaway…er, salvation. [I don’t want to call someone a tool who hasn’t proven to be one. I consider the word tool an offensive term when used to describe a person, not the asset variety.] The goalie is there to cover the smallest of fields at the crucial moments. Don’t add unnecessary pressure by putting your goalie always on alert. He (or she) doesn’t have the liberties you do. [But, the goalie does have the liberty to use hands. Yet, those hands are not going to save your hide every time you fail to make progress toward your target.]

If I played professional soccer, you wouldn’t see me passing the ball back toward my team’s goalie…not unless I was threatened legally/financially by those responsible for my paid position on the team…and, even then, I’d be livid, because the goal is to make progress, not retreat and risk the other team scoring on the one person I am turning to in my own cowardice.

In battle, if you move backward, that’s a retreat. A tactical retreat is not always a bad thing. But, if you retreat, retreat to rest or replenish your resources. The goalie isn’t going to do that for your team. The goalie is your messenger or archer, at best. He (or she) is not some giant or legendary monster that can unleash fire or throw a mountain at the enemy.

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While we are on the subject of progress…

I just saw an amazing (chips) commercial with (pardon my groaning) Payton Manning and David Beckham. [If you want to know why I groan, you’ll just have to strike up a chat with me, elsewhere. Do you have an hour to spare?] The ad is amazing for its cameos and comical efforts. I couldn’t care less about the product they are pitching or the usage of children to sway/influence.

The ad brings up the matter that has been plaguing me since I first learned the Spanish word “futbol.” I was born and raised to accept what Americans play with the oblong, brown ball as football…and to identify the white, round ball, dotted with black spots as a soccer ball. But, that’s not how other cultures call the play. And, if we don’t resolve this, it’s just going to be a festering wound. Isn’t it?

Or, is this just another jargon thing? Do we just go on with…

You say flashlight.
And, I say torch.
You say hard candy.
And, I say lolly.
Restroom.
Wash closet.
Bubbler.
Water fountain.
Let’s call the whole thing off.

Personally, I’d like to settle the matter, once and for all, on the field. Let’s have a tournament of…er, the round, spotted ball…which decides the name for the sport. The winner decides the name (as the prize). And, if need be, the loser may raise the challenge, down the road, to turn the tide back in their favor. And, if they win, they can call the sport by their choice of names. [From my experience with online gaming, I just hope no winning team ever has the audacity to use some variety of “poop” or a more offensive word for the sport. Let’s keep it tame…or just between soccer and football/futbol.]

Who’s with me?

Wait. I’ve got it. There is only one name for the non-video-game, “home edition” of the sport. FOOSBALL! Right? So, what if we call it Foosball instead of Soccer or Football/Futbol? That’s universal-ly agreeable. Ay?