Posts Tagged ‘personality

19
Mar
23

What Your Favorite Rocket League Vehicle Says About You

****

I have these…er…theories or feelings, regarding drivers and the cars they use. It’s a whole color thing. And, I have serious agitation from people who drive white and red cars; the former don’t know how to drive and get into the most accidents while the latter are just hasty and dangerous to pedestrians and other drivers, including those white cars.

I have similar feelings, regarding players of Rocket League and the cars they choose. Here are my assessments of the choices players make.

If you drive a(n):

OCTANE (STARTER RC CAR) OR ITS “ZSR” COUSIN

You’re aiming for one thing; you want to be the next YouTube sensation and star acrobat. Or, if you’re not seeking fame of your own, you’re a superfan, sporting a crappy jersey. If you’re the latter, stay out of the game and just watch videos. If you’re the former, you really grind my gears. My goal is to prove you’re not the only star on the field.

BREAKOUT (STARTER HOTWHEEL?) OR ITS “TYPE-S” COUSIN

You are beginner trash. You were given three choices to start, and you picked the one that is the most lame, even if it gets its share of decent decals, now and then. While others are reaching for stardom or that special prize, you’ll be bouncing around a virtual soccer field for a few weeks before you give up on this game…or get smarter. If I see one of you on my team, I can expect failure, because you will likely bail or stall and leave me facing three feral opponents, alone. If I see one of you on the opposing team, I’ll just grin and skirt around you.

If you actually like/prefer the Type-S model, which must be encountered in a random “drop” situation, you’re really special. It looks like a bulimic tragedy. It makes the original Breakout look good, like the less attractive girl standing next to the most attractive girl in a high-school corridor. I’ve been “blessed” twice by this wreck. And, I’d throw it out, again, if I didn’t get a decent decal for it…which is really sad. It’s sad that I am resisting parting with a crappy car because of one decent decal. I have better cars to pursue and drive.

MERC (STARTER VAN)

You have the potential to be something special in this game. You are not a trend chaser. You are on the way to finding your own, unique path to greatness…if you keep practicing and find a more agile car to master.

BACKFIRE (ROADSTER)

You are definitely “old-school.” You or someone close to you is a motorcyle and/or muscle-car person, someone who likes exposed engines and working with greasy rags. You’re not a big fan of the pretty sports cars, and there are quite a few you could find in this game. But, no, you’d rather associate with the Harley-Davidson crowd.

ROAD HOG (COMPACT MONSTER TRUCK)

You’ve got character and a desire to be goalie…or, at least, a good defender, versus a goal chaser. You’re slightly more active than those who drive Mercs. And, like those Backfire drivers, you like a little muscle to show…and maybe listen to AC/DC.

MARAUDER (SPORTY ATV/OFF-ROAD HUMVEE-ESQUE VEHICLE)

You’re likely from Australia, New Zealand or Africa…or a fan of those places. And, you could be a Road-Hog driver…but you’d rather hang outdoors, close to nature. So, you’ll likely design your Marauder to look earthy, natural, and have it humming with an electric engine you believe won’t harm the Outback. G’Day, mate. I named my Marauder Safari Joe, after the Thundercats villain.

DOMINUS (FURIOUS LONGBODIUS) OR ITS “GT” COUSIN (HOODIUS MAXIMUS)

You have a need for speed and the muscle to back that speed up when those annoying Octanes get in your way of scoring big. You are not a child…unless you dress your Dominus like a clown car or toy. You’re still relatively new to this game…why? Because, if you were more “veteran,” you’d likely have another car model you enjoy more than this long, heavy boat, which is fairly difficult to steer when you need to make sharp turns and which is fairly flat when you want to deflect overhead shots from those pesky Octanes.

As an added perk (which I discovered AFTER I stopped driving the Dominus), you have access to almost as many decal options as the Octane. Why? Heck if I know. But, it’s as if the game wants to add one more irritation to my list by saying I gave up on something good. The Dominus wasn’t one of the “pro favorites” when I started; that’s why the game offered three other starters. But, no, suddenly, it’s tied for greatness with the Octane. You should have made the Dominus a starter, instead of the Breakout.

[Guess what. The Dominus is my ex. And, I broke up with her, but we’re still friends. I still think the Dominus version of the special-event decals (clearly made to favor the Octane) look lousy, especially the NFL ones. I’ve moved on…to the Diestro, which is a bit “retro” and a modest yet sleek sportscar with longer, fuller wavy hair that satisfies my “old flame.”]

MAMBA OR KOMODO

A rare sight which suggests you are a rare driver who likes to look like a shoe horn. You have a soft spot for the old Batmobiles that are more hood than seating space. You could be driving a more compact Jager 619 or Masamune, but you like the idea of just how long and sleek you are, without any of the weird attachments where doors should be…cuz, ya know, you might want to get out of the car, once in a while, without crawling out a window (if it opens). You like the Dominus but not as much, because it also looks a bit clunky. The Mondo makes you want to spread yourself across its exceptionally long hood and purr like a cat. Am I right? You won’t likely be performing any stellar stunts but might still be a decent blocker and get to the ball years before other players with shorter cars. Kudos on the slick pick, Roxanne.

INSIDIO OR NIMBUS (OR TYGRIS…OR PEREGRINE TT, IF YOU’VE EVER FOUND OR BUILT ONE FROM A BLUEPRINT…DOES ANYONE HAVE THESE CARS? CUZ I’VE GOT A DECAL FOR THE PEREGRINE TT, FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT SEASON FEATURED IT. SEASON 1? 2?)

I don’t often see these and am not sure how they vary. But, I’d say you are similar to the Cyclone and/or Centio crowds.

AFTERSHOCK (THE ODDITY THAT LOOKS LIKE AN F-16 TOMCAT FIGHTER JET)

You have a need for speed that matches those Top-Gun-named AI characters in the game. Give yourself a slick call sign and find a pair of sunglasses (or a pilot’s hat). ‘Cuz you’ll be taking to the air as you try to dazzle the other players with your acrobatics…except, you won’t be flying quite as high or well as those Octane showboats…because your car is heavier and bulkier. And, scoring will be slightly more challenging with that pointed nose of yours.

TAKUMI, MASAMUNE OR JAGER-619 (FAIRLY COMPACT PORSCHE-LIKE SPORTSCARS WITH FINS)

You’re cute…at least, if you’re a girl/woman in the driver seat. Your car is prime for being a pop star. Now, get yourself some Equalizer wheels and a decal that’s either anime-esque or animated and flashy. Enjoy playing casually because you won’t likely excel without exceptional skill and/or practice. You will, however, do well in Rumble Mode, as a smaller target. I’d pick you over the Fennec, any day. And, if you have the Jager-619, you’ve got exceptional good taste.

SCARAB OR ESPER

You are very odd. You’d rather look like a roller skate than make sense in this game. Like me, you might aim to prove Octanes are not the only cars having fun. Or, if that doesn’t even register in your unusual brain, you’re busy thinking about what will steal your attention, making you useless on the field. If you could focus on the game, you might make a decent goalie and block a few tricky shots with your unique shape and height. And, you might like to collect the music of Julie Buchanan, which has a slick roller-skating-style cover (for the Watch Me Go album).

You have a few decals which are examples of wasted art. The Derby Girl, Tiger and Hearts could have been given a better treatment on more visually pleasing cars (not including the Octane).

[I consider the Scarab and Esper those fun cars you use for special events/seasons when you need a break from your “standard” and don’t mind losing.]

GIZMO (AND ANY OTHER BOXY COMPACT WITHOUT A HOOD WHICH RESEMBLES A MINI-CAR)

You like rodents? You’re a fan of Tom and Jerry? Because you look like the head of one. Now, go chase that cheese and be as silly as possible. You won’t likely make a good teammate who scores…but you might still score points with me for humor, if you can make me laugh and forget about losing to some Octane freaks. You are like those Pokemon fans who pick Chansey over any of the other 800+ options out there for a strong partner who can survive a fight. You look like you could use a stuffed animal and a hug.

CENTIO, SAMURAI, PALADIN, HOTSHOT (AND ANY OTHER SIMILAR BROAD SPORTSCAR WITH A SEMI-BOXY, SEMI-ROUNDED DESIGN)

You’re a genuine low rider, a tactical driver that just might have a fear of heights (or losing control of yourself). You prefer to slip under the radar and stay close to the ground. You might make a good speed bump. If you’re really lucky, you’ll deflect some shots and force your opponents to score traitor goals. But, that would require the opponent to be blind and, maybe, for you to jump up a bit. ‘Hope you like overly complex/technical and/or earthy patterns, because those are the sorts of decals you’ll likely see until you get one of the more universal ones, which work on any car and are occasionally quite nice. I suspect you’d do well at ice hockey.

If your choice is the Hotshot, what you really want to drive is a tank. And, you probably feel like ruining someone’s day (because that car-tank is built to demolish…and never leave the ground). You’re reckless and dangerous on my team…unless you’re taking out the obnoxious acrobats for me. Sure, you might still be able to jump and flip, but you’re likely to trip over your own feet…er, wheels. You’ve chosen one of the game’s attempts to recreat the Batmobile, and the Batmobile doesn’t exactly fly well. Consider yourself a bounty hunter…and a bully.

“THE X- THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED” AND ITS “MK2” (Mortal Kombat 2?) COUSIN

Well, you definitely like sci-fi and probably enjoy all the evil items available to you, like the menacing and/or scary goal explosions. You don’t mind being a jerk…a bully…and pairing up with other vindictive, careless punks like yourself. If you’re not that jerk, you don’t see colors or shades of good and evil; everything is just a costume, neither right nor wrong. You’d be just as comfortable wearing feathery wings and a halo as you would wearing horns and hooves.

VULCAN

You’re not a Nintendo Switch player, unless you just wish Samus’ Gunship could be customized. Or, maybe, you wish this game had those futuristic cars from the old F-Zero racing games. Similar to fans of the “X- That Shall Not Be Named,” you like sci-fi and especially spaceships. You don’t care about being the best player; you’re set on just having fun. Still, because your car choice isn’t that much different from the Octane, you could do as well, I think. But, the Vulcan does seem a bit heavier and bulkier…like an Octane XL. It sort of looks like a lawn mower. Do you enjoy cutting grass? You might try getting the grass boost in some fun color, if not basic green.

TRITON

[If you have not seen this thing, it looks like a futuristic train crossed with a Batmobile. It’s…weird…and long and covered in armor.]

If the Triton is your choice for wheels, you…you’re smoking some very special weed. I mean, sure, this is a unique…possibly fun vehicle to drive, once in a while. I am sure I’ll come up with a decent costume for it, one of these days. I won one decal for it, some weeks or months ago, and hastily traded it in because…well…even the decal was odd and lame. But, if this is your cup of tea, you’re definitely special. And, as with some other models, you’re either not keen on winning or you like a challenge. Winning with this car is like running with heavy shackles on your ankles.

FENNEC (AND THE SEASON 10 SPECIAL CAR, WHICH LOOKS LIKE A ‘GREMLIN’)
OR
ENDO (AND ANY OTHER CYCLONE-WANNABE THAT HAS THE ANTENNA PLACED OFF TO ONE SIDE, INSTEAD OF CENTERED)
OR
DINGO (THE SMALLEST ‘SEDAN’ YOU MIGHT FIND)
OR
SEASON 10’s SUPERBAD CAR, THE VOLKSWAGON GOLF UTI

You’re special because you want to avoid making contact with the ball (and puck). Why? Because your car has no protruding edges (or is just very compact) and looks like a fetal lifeform. Because you’ll be lucky to make a goal without exceptional skill/training. Heck, you’ll be lucky to be good at assisting those wannabe star Octane drivers. You’d be luckier if you picked the Octane, one of the starter cars…which is very sad and agitating to say.

CYCLONE (AND ANY OTHER SIMILAR ROUNDED SPORTSCAR SHAPE WITH SOME EDGE)

You’re slick and a bit of a sci-fi fan. And, you value symmetry, because your antennae are centered on the back end. You must have incredible patience to wait for a decent universal decal, because the selection you start with is rather meager, selective and unlike the sets of decals most cars have.

VENOM

You either love Spider-Man villains and pretend this is Eddie Brock’s car…or you like venomous snakes and dune buggies. Yes. You must like dune buggies. The Venom looks like one of those cage-frame cars people race around desert settings…except it’s almost fully covered. It looks like the Mantis but with more height and less width. Like the Esper, Scarab, Aftershock and Mantis, it favors wheels (enlarges and fully exposes them); so enjoy showing those off when you get some. Don’t insult the car with drab, basic wheels. You might notice a similarity to the Octane and tell yourself that you don’t want to be just another one of those people; you prefer to take the road less traveled and make a difference.

SENTINEL, MANTIS (AND ANY OTHER EXOTIC CARS OF THAT PARTICULAR UNCONVENTIONAL LONG AND/OR WIDE STYLE/SHAPE)

You seek to stand out, even if it makes you less popular. You’re a rebel with your own cause. You’re sticking it to the man, and I support you…a little. You also like big wheels; so have fun collecting the most dazzling sets and forget about those animated decals which won’t look as good on you. Perhaps you have big feet, as well? [I just say that because the Sentinel looks like the foot of a basketball player.]

PROTEUS (THE SUBMARINE-ON-WHEELS WITH GRABBING ARMS…AND WHATEVER THAT OTHER VEHICLE IS CALLED THAT LOOKS LIKE AN UNMANNED TRACTOR WITH A HOOD LIKE ONE OF THE ACID-DROOLING ALIENS FROM THOSE JAMES CAMERON MOVIES)

You have a respectable sense of humor, and I’d be interested in meeting you. You probably like exploring, traveling abroad and/or being in water. You could be someone who previously favored the Merc (for your starter) but needed something more colorful and/or quirky to enjoy. You might like clowns and looking like one. This is certainly a fun alternative option to drive, and there have been a number of wet accents to add to the vehicle. If you could pull off aerial stunts like those Octane monsters, I’d likely salute you…if you’re on my team…because you’d prove even a clunky, boxy submarine can be a star. You don’t likely care much about decals…because the selection for this vehicle is slim, and the universal ones don’t look much better on something so cluttered with technical bits. [Waveform looks okay, I guess. But, waves make less sense on the Orange car version.] It’s designed to enjoy as-is and screams for the Bubbles and/or Torrent boost.

RIPPER OR THE (FORTNITE) BATTLE BUS

[Oh my gosh; I almost forgot about you…because I haven’t driven you since Season 3.]

Clearly, you’re a fan of violence and/or violent video games. You’re looking to punish someone or take out frustration the way I would with old games like Double Dragon.

If the Ripper is your horse, you like Mad Max movies (or would if you saw them). This is the “free” Batmobile, the movie car you never knew you wanted…and then think twice about when you realize how decals don’t look so good…because this car is a bunch of junk pieced together. It’s post-apocalyptic and heavy.

If the Battle Bus is your muse, you could be a Merc fan who just desperately wants to be more unique…even if this is the poster-child of Fortnite fans, which outnumber the fans of this game, I suspect. You’d probably love a Rocket League Kart game, like Mario Kart, in which you’d race the Rocket League gallery of cars on various tracks and knock out other drivers with wacky weapons before crossing the finish line.

But, if you stick with this car (or bus), you don’t care about how you look…or drive. You just need to hit the road and drive until you cannot see straight, anymore. You can feel free to get piss drunk and be stupid in this car. No one expects you to perform well in any way. This is a slightly nicer way to be a monster without being the “X- That Shall Not Be Named.”

ANIMUS GP AND ANY OTHER INDY/FORMULA RACE CAR

You actually belong in the same group as those who drive the Centio, but you’ve got a particularly special interest in professional car racing. While these cars look like real-world models, they lack some of the stream-lined appeal, adding parts to the frame that make the cars look weak/fragile. I have an Animus GP but am NOT a big fan of professional car racing. Instead, I just like the idea of pretending I’m an Indy-car racer or a Transformer from the 1980s, named Mirage. Are you the same? Do you like cats? Because the Animus GP comes with two decals that seem to favor big and small (domestic) cats. I wonder why. Your chances of being a stellar soccer player are challenged by being low to the ground. Yet, you’d likely do well in ice hockey…which is just strange, an Indy racing car chasing a puck around a field of ice. If more players would be like you (and I), there would be a chance of having a comical Indy-racing competition…instead of a fleet of juvenile R/C cars banging into each other.

DIESTRO

Welcome to the team. My team, anyway, if you can drive this car well enough. Treat her right, and she will reward you with her compromise of height, weight and width, somewhat shorter in height than the Octane, somewhat shorter in length than the Dominus and somewhat wider than the Breakout with a respectable amount of style. Come with me, and we’ll take this game to its limits. Just keep your head, or we’ll be finished. Homer Simpson knows what I mean; he drives a LA-Z Rider.

[Although, ever since I started favoring the Diestro, it seems like the game no longer likes me. ‘Not that it particularly liked me when I started…but, back at the beginning, when I still was learning how to flip and before I could dare to fly, I scored a few decent items. A year ago, I got a goal explosion I desperately needed to feel better than dirt. But, since then, it’s been rough, tough, tough love…and hate…lots of hate. I’ve only seen one new decal for the Diestro, while the starter cars and Dominus get plenty; even the Backfire, which I’ve driven maybe once?…has seen more free-player-reward action than the Diestro.]

ANY OF THOSE MOVIE-BASED VEHICLES YOU ARE PERIODICALLY PRESSED TO BUY (THE KITT <KNIGHT RIDER>, BATMOBILE, DELORIAN <BACK TO THE FUTURE>, ECTO-1 <GHOSTBUSTERS>, ETC.)

You don’t care about variety as much as you care about having something someone else already made their famous beeyatch. You remember the movie or TV show and want to believe you’re the driver of that vehicle. Well, Marty McWayne, get flying. If you’re a Delorian, you might just outshine some of those Octane menaces. I’ve seen a few pull off some crazy flying stunts. If you’re a Batmobile, Kitt or Ecto-1, you’re comic relief, at best. Have a good laugh at yourself and then apologize to your teammates before they get you banned from future games.

[However, I am tempted to get the Kitt and the special controller topper which allows you to steer your controller to drive the car, versus using joysticks/buttons to steer; that does sound refreshing. There should be that control option for all car models, to switch from manual to automated/motion-sensitive steering.]

ANY OF THOSE SPECIAL NAME-BRAND CARS YOU HAVE TO PAY 10-20 BUCKS TO USE (NOT INCLUDING THE CARS FROM MOVIES)

You definitely have rich taste and can afford to play better games. But, you prefer to turn that very elegant sports car into a pile of burning feces. You’re getting smoked by the salivating, acne-crusted and potentially overweight Octane freaks, but you don’t care…because you’re worth millions…even if some of those Octane drivers are making millions, somehow, in this odd world that favors certain gamers like actual athletes who get physically hurt on a real field. You’d rather look good in a very conventional way than be a clown or flashy thrill. Oh, sure, you could don decals like the other cars have, but then people might not recognize the expense you made.

15
Jul
22

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (About Me); July 15, 2022

*****

I’m noticing more and more famous faces being reduced to pitch men and women for the most questionable products. And, it has sparked a brainstorm, the self-inspection sort.

What is truly good, bad and ugly about me?

I think of these famous faces…and I wonder what went wrong for them. I won’t go into names or reasons; I just need to vent how this troubles me. When I first saw them, I was strangely elated if not enamored. I liked what I saw and heard from them. Then they disappeared for a while. And, when they returned, they didn’t look so good. Some even stooped so low to be considered tools of the forces that seek to ruin this world.

First thought…

Am I a really BAD judge of people?

I think so. At least, my luck at picking GOOD people has been far from stellar. So much for my instincts, wisdom and luck. I suck at the To Tell the Truth. My favorites in the past few political elections have been mistakes, to be polite. I’m betting the trait runs in the family. While I’ve had lousy luck finding trustworthy doctors as an adult, when I was a minor, my parents didn’t often have good luck, either.

Being a lousy judge of character is not a GOOD trait to have. Nope. Count yourself lucky if you do better.

But…second thought…

I think of every time I watch a show that involves pricing or giving a value to things…and how precise my guesses are. I’m reaaaally GOOD at guessing prices and appraisals. But, who cares about that? What does that do for me? The last thing I care to think about in this world is money. It’s the root of so many problems. It’s trouble disguised as something that keeps the world running, if you subscribe to the insurance/cattle-driving scheme. If I had to have one thing etched on a tombstone, it would not be HE EXCELS AT PRICING THINGS.

Instead, let’s focus on the one thing that keeps me alive, most days. Creativity (and a surviving sense of humor). If I didn’t (and the rest of my sad examples of family didn’t) have the spark that creates some amazing things, I’d probably die from lack of value. I’d just POOF! turn to dust or fall to the ground and rot. Now, if only I could do some real, major, historical good with this talent. I’m still working on that. And, I really don’t want to be just another artist who got famous after he died, letting countless scavengers snarl and fight over my leftovers.

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And, lastly, the UGLY.

I don’t need to go into this too much. I don’t want to, either. Simply put, all I have to do is look in a mirror to see most of it. Am I happy with my appearance? No. I mean, I’m content enough to know I am a heterosexual male with an unconventional delicate side that separates me from all of the butt-loving and/or sex-obsessed members of the human species. I know I like a variety of women; I’m not too picky but know what I like when I see it.

Genetics in my family sucks. Period. Although, scroll back to the GOOD, and you can ponder the plus of all the creative energy we possess…and fail to effectively use to improve the world. [But, that could always change; one of more of us might yet find a place and means to do some real good in this world with our creative powers.]

Okay. Brainstorm over. Gray skies are clearing. Put on a happier face. Now, go on; get outta here.

20
Oct
21

Letter to Game Freak, the Makers of Pokémon Games, 10-20-2021

*****

Letter to Game Freak
Re: future Pokémon games

[I am posting this letter on my blog, instead of trying to figure out which email address is the best for reaching those who need to/should see it. I trust the forces that be will guide my words to the right source, somehow. I forewarn anyone who reads this; it is a lengthy letter…because I see many areas for improvement and have a fair number of compliments to offer, as well.  If you know where to send such letters to achieve my desired goal, feel free to suggest a direction/address in the comments below.]

Listen, game designers. I hate to sound like an adamant or rash Granbull, but it’s time we talk about remodeling these Pokémon games; specifically those involving extensive exploration of vast landscapes, collecting countless items and attempting to build up a team capable of defeating some advertised champion in battle. [And, I don’t mean complicating them, requiring more investment of time. No one needs to spend years playing one game (or…how many have you made/sold, now?) and ignoring their real world duties/interests. Although, having reason and/or zeal to revisit places (in changing weather/seasons) and replay the games is usually good.]

I *like* your games! Other than the thought of forcing my pets fight other animals in a strange sort of “cock fight,” over and over and over, again, I really do! I’ve spent countless dollars and hours chasing colorful creatures in so many different forms. I’ve chased to fast-food chains for toys when there were promotions. I feel like Ash Ketchum (Satoshi) sending in post cards to get his Kanto League baseball cap (instead of someone just handing it to him, along with new clothes, when he gets to the next region)! I once deemed myself a “Pokémon freak” for wanting and buying so many things. [There is a particular Pokémon character players encounter in the early games, who wears a costume set of dinosaur legs and a tail and is called something like a game or Pokémon freak; that would probably be me because I tend to enjoy wearing costume pieces and imitating other animals.]

The creature designs…well, most of them…are great. I think my first “loves” were Geodude and Bulbasaur. I don’t know why a round, rocky meatball with arms appeals to me, but it does! It’s the best “pet rock” I’ve ever seen. And, Bulbasaur screams “Chia Pet” but has a certain inexplicable charm, as well, unlike its evolutions. I love Articuno (but hate cold/icy things and weather). I favored Moltres until I saw Ho-Oh, which looks like a classical, cultural phoenix without being bathed in fire…like the exceptionally cooler Galarian Moltres (better design of the flames than the original), which is a little creepy. Wartortle is awesome; I love the feathery wings on its head, like Thor from Marvel Comics. Dragonair is beautiful; again, wings on its head…and a graceful form to represent wind and water, similar to Suicune, which is also beautiful. The Kantonian Vulpix could learn a few style tips from its Galarian cousin, but Ninetales is a dream, both the Kantonian and Alolan forms, as is Rapidash, both the Kantonian and Galarian forms. If I didn’t like enough of the Pokémon, I’d probably ignore the games.

001Bulbasaur_vector-pokemon-1

The splashy battle effects, when they’re done right, are delightful. [I LOVE fighting (well, not exactly enjoying combat but doing just about anything that isn’t labor) in the rain and am currently contemplating some new Pokémon that might make better use of Drizzle, which is better than Rain Dance if it still boosts water attacks/accuracy without requiring the use of a precious move slot.] Some moves look much cooler than they actually are. Spite, Sweet Scent and Confuse Ray, in certain games, are very cool visual effects but not very helpful.

The human character designs…well, let’s not talk about the Galarian region as much (including guys and gals that are…confused?…which caused certain members of my family to raise eyebrows and feel equally confused)…are mostly pleasing, as well, even “villains” like Giovanni and his Team (R) Rocket. They were a very clever mob in the early games because you didn’t know who worked with Team Rocket until they announced their allegiance. An agent could be anyone from a scientist to a person hanging out at a casino (unlike Team Skull who stood out like sore thumbs and seemed to only assist the beautiful yet somewhat scary boss lady, Lusamine, who headed the Aether company).

Watching the original (American) Pokémon cartoons (from what became known as the Kanto region), from the moment I first saw Brock at a Pokémon Center, I knew I was going to like the guy…and Nurse Joy…and Office Jenny. And, though it became a bit annoyingly repetitive, I enjoyed Misty’s responses to Brock’s behavior. Who couldn’t fall in love with those young women? And, how could I not pity a guy who fails…over and over…to find a proper life partner/wife/girlfriend? How could I not support him and follow his story?…except for that sad, brief period in which he stayed with Professor Ivy, while Ash and Misty were away at the Orange Islands. I was genuinely afraid he would meet some tragic fate after she rejected him.

Aside from all of that which is Brock, I was fairly gripped into following Ash’s journey across the region, trying different foods, ever so slowly learning a few things to better handle Pokémon (and other people) and reaching that Olympic-like championship (which sure looked better in the cartoon than it does in the early games). Despite Ash’s oblivious and hasty behavior (which seems oddly similar to that of Hop in Sword/Shield…though Hop is far less interesting), he is an amusing and somewhat inspiring character to follow. [Maybe Hop just needs a girlfriend or female “foil,” someone to interact with him, rather than just leave our playable character with a dumb smile on his/her face as we let Hop go about his chasing and failures.]

Misty was (is) a perfect travel companion, with her special blend of conflicting outlooks, humbling fear (of bugs, mainly), genuine concern and spirited encouragement. [I’m surprised Brock didn’t have any interest in HER, though I realize there may be a considerable age difference. Or, maybe, he secretly knew she was meant for Ash…though that relationship never seemed to develop!! I think I would have fallen in love with Misty on day one…and then told her to get rid of that odd hair band on day two…and replaced her bicycle by day thirty (because I hate having debt chained to me).] The three were a rather perfect team. [And, let’s not forget the comedic and touching antics of that rebellious Pikachu who wouldn’t stay in a ball.]

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I recall how the first generation of Pokémon questing games were so primitive–yet expansive in their own way and time–and failed to capture the magic of the cartoons. Then came Pokémon Yellow, and we players finally got the chance to meet up with Jessie and James and cope with a not-so-easy-to-please Pikachu. Brilliant, though somewhat of an after-thought in terms of planning. The “more accurate” game with a better quality of story came after the other three.

The story aspect, having your character pursue a goal and helping others along the way; that’s great (when it feels like a decent story and not just a flimsy set of directions guiding us through more and more questionable battles). Repetitive music droning without the ability to switch it off (when we just want to scream)…eh, not so much. [I can adjust volume of some things; why can’t I turn off the music?!…or alter the music style the way I was once able to alter the frame/profile card.]

It’s time to stop the TR/TM hunt madness. For over 25 years, you’ve had players scrambling and scratching their heads, trying to find and figure out what skill to teach what creature, worrying about wasting precious one-use lessons on the wrong critter just to win some big battle (or a series of big battles, which is even more excessively stress-inducing).

ENOUGH!!

There have been WAY too many hidden items and too few move tutors. And, the other means of teaching moves are just more confusion in the mix. [Oh!…my gosh! I cannot forget the time spent searching those repeating patches of grass and blank stretches with either the Item Finder or just looking for key spots for hidden items. That is a chore.]

Keep it simple.

EVERY move/lesson you can teach a Pokémon is a TM and free to use as often as players like once they find/acquire it. No more breaking or purchasing TRs at ridiculous rates. No more needing excessive amounts of “watts” to pay or money to reap. [Although, if you go with my following idea about Move Tutors, you COULD have some charge a fee for certain moves.]

I mean…geesh! We spend enough time scouring the maps for items and dealing with trainers looking to ambush us and raising levels to survive certain areas and gym battles. Why complicate all of that investment of time with fussing over what to teach our companions (and worrying about breeding)? [Not to mention…the limitation of 4 moves per creature is REALLY confining and discouraging; but I get it. Any more and the requirements for the game to house so many creatures with varying abilities might be overkill (in coding/memory storage).] If you decided to add more move/lesson options, on top of the already jaw-dropping list, where would you even bother to hide them all? How much more landscape do you need to stash a few dozen or hundred more “lesson balls?” When is enough enough? How long before a sufficient number of brains crash like computers?

Now, you could…

A) Have players finding hidden balls/scrolls that contain all of these moves and scatter them around the regional maps. [Good luck when the sheer number of moves exceeds land mass. I picture Easter egg hunts in which people run out of hiding places and/or interest and just dump a few here and there and call it done.]

OR

B) Scatter “wise folks” (move tutors) across the land, waiting for trainers to find and learn from them, like a “guru” or “sensei.” This would be an incentive for players to interact with the various people you place around the maps, including some of those pointless passersby who don’t seem to be doing much except requiring useless coding. Instead of having people that speak worthless nonsense, just to appear like they’re alive, give a few TMs to teach. A casual passerby might know a skill you could put to good use, if you let him/her “bend your ear.” [I recall the stout figure near the middle of town in one of the early games; he offered to teach Rollout, which was a new and amusing move, at the time.]

Perhaps, to scale down the number of required tutors (for the growing number of moves), you could have certain tutors help with a select variety of moves or function like those particular tutors who help remember “forgotten” moves, who don’t just re-teach one move. A tutor could be a master of a particular element/type, able to teach any move that fits under that type. Maybe certain tutors are better with teaching aggressive, physical moves while others are adept at training the mind or evasion/agility. Maybe some tutors work better with Pokémon of a particular nature/personality, much the way real teachers have differing results with different types of students. [A teacher with little or no sense of humor won’t likely put up with a “class clown.”]

I mentioned breeding earlier. Let’s talk about that, too, while we are here. Why do we even need to breed, honestly? Why do you need to complicate your games with an additional task just to HOPEFULLY get some ideal type/makeup and maybe satisfy the perfectionist virus in those who are cursed with it?

If breeding is to continue being a thing you can do, why not simplify it? Why can’t breeding just be a way to get a different personality or gender while retaining…

A) all of the moves known by one parent. In the case of breeding with a Ditto, the non-Ditto Pokémon’s full four-move set is passed to the offspring. Boom. Done. All that changes is the gender/personality of the offspring. Some children will be happier/nicer than others, who may be naughty/fussy.

OR

B) half of the moves known by the father and half known by the mother, specifying which slots are transferred, so trainers know where to place the passed-on moves. This would be a fair method/alternative for breeding without Ditto.

Now, let’s talk about the whole complication of Natures and whatever that other Personality trait is that also seems annoying. [‘Something about which IV stat is favored? Whatever!]

WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH would anyone WANT a Pokémon that is “vain” or “naïve” or “finicky” or “likes to fight” or “lonely” or “capable of taking hits.” That last one really scrambles my brain. If every creature in your games cannot take hits, what’s it doing in a game that requires creatures to fight each other?! Seriously. That’s like saying “capable of running.” Yay. My Pokémon can get slapped and won’t complain because it’s also simple-minded and probably a masochist. And, if a Pokémon is traveling with you or another Pokémon, how can he/she/it be lonely?! That’s just stupid; that’s like saying the poor critter is oblivious to who or what is around him/her/it, even when they are receiving care.

I think you might need to clean the slate on some of these aspects and refresh the lists a bit. Try these options:

NATURES:

KIND (instead of Mild),
CARING (instead of Gentle),
HELPFUL (instead of Quiet),
FIERCE (instead of Adamant),
RABID/AGGRESSIVE (instead of Hasty/Rash),
REBELLIOUS (instead of Impish and/or Sassy which are both unpleasant, to say the least, if you consider sassy as rude, impolite and/or verbally cruel),
PROTECTIVE,
DEFENSIVE,
HONORABLE,
TRICKY (instead of Impish),
SMART,
WISE (instead of Timid)

[Quirky, Bashful (better than Timid which could be defined as afraid/cowardly), Docile, Bold, Jolly, Brave and Modest are just fine, I guess. Remember, these creatures are our companions/pets/defenders/teammates. Why would we want negative or defeatist traits? And, why do we need to “wonder trade” those with the lousy traits just to toss them away when we see them and become disappointed? That’s just a huge waste of time and coding!]

PERSONALITIES:

[I’m partial to “sturdy body” (versus the Sturdy ability, which is fairly pointless other than acting like a weak Focus Sash, if someone doesn’t use a move that spoils Sturdy like Double Kick), “highly curious” and “loves to eat” (as a fun, adventurous travel companion should be), “alert,” “thoroughly cunning” and “impetuous and silly.” Those are good/okay.]

RESPECTFULLY TIDY/SELF-CONFIDENT (instead of “somewhat vain,” which could be defined as useless or futile as well as obsessed with oneself),

STRONG/ENDURING (instead of that annoying “capable of taking hits”),

MESSY (as a fun alternative to tidy for slob fans, which makes more sense than “scatters things often”),

(FAIRLY/UNFAIRLY) PLAYFUL or TRICKY (versus impetuous and silly and/or mischievous, which could be defined as harmful, evil or mean-spirited, when some who benefit from Special Attacks might not need to be mean, wicked or evil…ya know?),

EXCEPTIONALLY (DARING/AUDACIOUS)

LOVES (LOUNGING/PLAYING) IN BED (versus “takes plenty of siestas,” which I realize is another attempt to infuse the Spanish language, for whatever reason)…or EARLY RISER/NIGHT OWL

ADEPT AT EVADING HARM or FAIRLY EVASIVE (versus “quick to flee,” which sounds cowardly and like someone who would abandon a friend)

Oh! I just had another intriguing idea. You created “mints” for adjusting certain traits/natures (without actually changing the text for those traits/natures). What if there were similar items or means of altering the actual (text) nature/personality to one that is preferred (considering certain code-skilled hackers are able to do this to some degree)? What if you could care for a Lonely and Somewhat Vain Pokémon some way that would turn him/her/it Jolly and Impetuous and Silly? What if a Pokémon Center could include a therapist (a “Doctor Mien” or “Doc Attitude” in an office near Nurse Joy) of some sort who could instill personality adjustments, much the way the café guys in the Galarian region can help with remembering moves and altering names?

Of course, if there were no such natures/personalities as Vain, Timid, Lax and Lonely, this wouldn’t be needed. But, considering you already have them in previous/current games…and considering you came up with the mint idea…why not a…er…mint-effect tutor; a personality adjusting therapist/massage supplier? This would improve the outlook on finding an unpleasant creature by providing a means of improving that outlook. You’re not exactly performing brain surgery or using mind control; you’re “polishing a turd” by instilling a new behavior/attitude. You’re turning a dud into a stud or star; you’re improving the nature of your partner by helping (not warping) him/her/it. Think of it like another way of correcting those status effects like paralysis and burns. A lonely or mischievous Pokémon could be trained/taught to be more jolly and kind/helpful; a timid Pokémon could be given ample feeding of support/compliments to become self-confident and/or brave. Now, you’re not just coping with a lousy “soldier” in your “army” as you pursue war; you’re looking out for your friends and stoking the fire of teamwork (much the way you already offer building “friendship” to allow for evading attacks).

Link Trades. I was recently discussing Link Trading with a family member who also plays some of your games. They were trying to connect with a particular trader via a link code. But, having to enter the same code over and over, only to encounter others trying to reach the same person, seemed rather annoying and futile. There is an option to block certain online players from making some kind of connection with you, as the player. What if there was a feature or bit of programming for filtering out those other people entering the link codes, so traders are not bumping into each other accidentally–which seems rather foolish. Or, there could be a “call-waiting” system which would let traders know where they stand in a line to get to a particular trader, giving each wannabe trader a number in that line. Also, a simple redial button would save the hassle of re-entering the same code over and over, again.

And, I know it’s probably asking too much, but I’d like a different general…er…type or model for these Pokémon games; focusing on battles seems deceptively cruel. There’s a splash of excitement and magic thrown over forcing animals to fight until they “faint.” My nephews say “die” and enjoy “killing” opposing Pokémon. It’s a bit difficult to enjoy…anything…when you are driven to “kill” something, without inducing bloodlust and promoting violence. I don’t want my beloved pets/friends/companions tearing, slashing and gutting other creatures I find in wild, natural settings…nor in some gym/arena; I’d prefer them to force the opposing creatures to withdraw with a playful splash, pounce or tail slap. [But, when I do encounter some jerk/bully and/or savage, mean-spirited creatures, I tend to lower my standards and may resort to some “blind” violence.]

[I realize the first games were probably intended for aggressive, restless boys who needed one more outlet for releasing violent energy away from actual human opponents. But, girls and non-violent boys/men (like me) like your “pets,” too. And, not every game or anime has to be about fighting to earn some sort of title or power; striving to achieve does not always equate combat. It may seem like combat, but we don’t actually attack others to get a promotion at work; that sounds more like The Hunger Games or The Running Man.]

Games like Pokémon Snap are…okay. But, I don’t want to just take photos and hope to get a good score/rating to decide my outcome; I don’t want to be rated on everything I do. [And, to be quite honest, taking photos of Pokémon in games seems a bit disappointing. Any photos I try to save always appear a bit pixelated, like an older 8-bit game versus an actual, quality photo I’d want to frame.] Completing a Pokedex is a goal, not a rating/score. And, I want to spend more time with my “pets,” not just throw a ball at them, feed them and then send them into battle only to watch some poor creature fall motionless (or…well…disappear). [Imagine having a monkey ride on your shoulder and toy/play with you or riding your newfound pet horse across the countryside, not watching a poor creature with short legs and lousy speed try to keep up as you speed ahead on a bicycle or motor vehicle.]

Even if my suggestions and these alternative Pokémon games help by providing alternatives to fighting, I get the feeling you may have already put a certain “stink” on the whole Pokémon image. Yet, like some trees, maybe this project just needs sufficient time to amend/heal. This reminds me of how certain legendary Pokémon cease conflicts between other powerful creatures.

Encouraging violence isn’t helping anyone, even if it temporarily can be a stress reliever. [When I get mad at someone, I’d rather play Final Fight or Double Dragon and pound some punks into submission than pick an actual fight with anyone.] If you look at anime like Avatar: The Last Airbender, the protagonists improve themselves with experience and interaction, with learning and observation; the combat is more often in self-defense than a chosen or required path. [And, isn’t one of the oldest lessons about the martial arts that they are not intended for “kicking butt” but for improving one’s ability to defend themselves and those they wish to protect?] Amazingly, people (in the Avatar anime) rarely faint; those who actually die seem to do so quietly or “off-camera” in a way that reduces potential discomfort. Though, I suppose, you have to accept the notion that mortals will eventually die, somehow; that’s also a lesson of life we all must learn.

You tried to steer things in a different direction with those “Pokémon Contests,” back in…was it Emerald? You had May face off against that “fancy pants” boy who boasted about his Roselia; they competed in some sort of exhibition of talents, beauty, strength, etc. Those were actually fun, in the game, by the way.

Maybe a sort of Pokémon Olympics would be a more noble path than fighting to fight some more and be the best fighter, excused as a “Pokémon Master.” [There is a Legend of Zelda game in which Link hones his skills as an archer. Similarly, Pokémon could hone skills with trainers met along a journey, practicing tree-climbing or swimming, for examples, to develop and improve skills which could then be tested in some sort of competition at a designated arena/stadium. And, unlike the actual modern Olympics, there would likely be less concern for coaches doing unpleasant things out of the public eye; in a way, the “parents” would be training and entering their “children” into competition, while encouraging/supporting the effort of helping others along the way to earning a medal/trophy.]

[You featured Pokémon Breeder as a path for Brock in the cartoons. Why couldn’t something like that be an alternative game plot? Have players work on being the best at caring for and learning about Pokémon, versus figuring out what deadly, powerful moves will ensure them victory in battle.]

Training could be done in nature, honing skills with splitting stones, meditating under waterfalls, swimming across lakes, listening to nature sounds, climbing mountains/trees, etc. Though, I realize, considering some of those objects in nature may also/actually be Pokémon…this gets a bit vexing. Also, instead of “fainting,” maybe, even in Pokémon battles, a fight could be decided with a “surrender” or “escape” when the opposing Pokémon “can no longer battle.” “The opposing (Pokémon) admits defeat and flees the scene to recover.” These games are not Dragon Quest or Final Fantasy; we’re not seeking tallies of kills in Medieval Times.

I think the Dynamax-pit battles in Pokémon Sword/Shield show signs of what’s to come. You took a diverse list of moves and reduced it to a smaller variety of type moves; all fighting moves become “maximum strike,” and grass moves become “maximum overgrowth.” That’s one step from going back to rock, scissors and paper. I think even you realize the list of possible moves is getting out of hand…yet you continue to try and invent more and more new creatures and keep them interesting. I think the early games should have taught you the lesson; such pursuits are sure to drive anyone mad and consume everything. It’s another green-eyed monster.

150 was a noble feat. 800+ is steering toward madness. You became like a rolling boulder, trying to keep the machine rolling with something new to keep buyers buying without losing or shedding the old. But, feeding such a monster only saps you until you’re nothing. [It’s a…wait for it…giga drain. Ha.]

You created something amazingly popular. Be content with it and move on to something new. Every story has an end; and then we find other stories. Eventually, Ash (Satoshi) gets older (even if he doesn’t mature); maybe he becomes a wistful mentor to the next generation who don’t see a need to have Pokémon fight for sport. Or, continue to make games involving Pokémon without the original questing and struggle to add more creatures/moves.

All of this does not mean anyone will forget what you created. Like other old games, we go back and play them, again, when the mood strikes. [Maybe not checkers, though my nephews are first playing that, now; I suppose some games lose their appeal.] The “Pokémon world” is a somewhat fun and educational place to visit (and return), full of colorful characters and creatures, just like our real world. Sure; it’s constantly evolving (and only expanding by revealing other parts we have yet to explore). But, learn from Monopoly, which is a huge waste of resources to create repetitive and time-consuming gaming just with an endless array of pieces from which players can choose. I know…creativity is both invigorating and taxing; but we all need to master better self-control. [I need to control myself and keep my letters more concise, as I’ve been advised many times.]

[And, I say all of this while a nephew and I have been busy creating new Pokémon; he already has two regions (or hemi-regions for the two compatible games of his generation) in mind and occasionally comes to me with new character drawings and explanations. You’ve given us–and others, I am sure–that itch you know all too well. Now, if only I could get him to work on a story, instead of just creatures and battle tactics.]

Despite your aspirations and/or intentions, we cannot actually LIVE in your Pokémon world. Trying to do so will deplete us until we are nothing. However, we can learn from your world how to better interact with and appreciate our own…you know, if we don’t try pitting a sparrow against a pig in combat.

Hopefully, some, if not all, of the above suggestions improve the quality and appreciation of your laborious works, for designers and players, alike. I think they will. I believe, with these adjustments, lengthy Pokémon questing games will be more worth the journey/investment.

Thank you (or “Domo arigato”) for your time and consideration. And, thank you for continuing to inspire me with your colorful creations. I am currently invested in Pokémon Shield and (excessively in) Pokémon Moon. I look forward to trying your latest Arceus game, considering it appears to add some fresh outlook on the journey and involves some historical elements. [I have an inexplicable interest in Asian culture and ancient history, though a few details occasionally deter my interest.]

Sincerely,

Writingbolt, a Pokémon fan since 1996 (though I first became enamored with the American cartoons in 1998, which drew me back to the games)

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05
Feb
20

Harmonic Resonance, Your Personal Gravitational Field

*****

Have you ever wondered what draws two people together to become lovers or friends?

How do some people attract crowds of supporters or followers while others seem perpetually alone?

Do you believe opposites attract? Or, do you avoid opposites, knowing they only lead to trouble?

Some try to scrutinize the planets and stars for an explanation. Others analyze relationships with parents and spouses and charge a larger fee for their sporadic services. I am now inclined to think there is something deeper, more hidden and inexplicable at work. It’s like writing a book; instructors provide guidelines on what is proper, and then countless author’s ignore those guidelines to write the way they choose in that moment of inspiration. It’s a gravitational pull and resistance that eludes the confines of categories, houses and types. It’s HARMONIC RESONANCE.

Being that there is likely no math, science or pre-written logic to clearly define and/or explain it, one may think there isn’t much to say about this phenomenon. So, hopefully, I don’t talk “too long” and bore you to death. But, if you find yourself intrigued, that’s a positive resonance, an attraction to my words and energy. And, if you resist, if you feel agitated or bored with my words and/or “vibe,” that’s a negative reaction. Both are a form of harmonic resonance. It’s a cosmic secret like what you may refer to as God or the gods; if we fully understood it, we might exceed our human restraints. I do not expect myself to give you all the answers to the questions in your heads; but, perhaps, I can generate some insight or shine a light on what puzzles you.

Since 2001, I’ve been a casual student of astrology. And, while the science has its merits with generating some level of accurate predictions and sorting out relationship chemistry, there remain cases in which people either do not get sufficiently thorough readings or don’t seem to reach the predicted conclusion/goal. On a personal note, I do wonder why connecting with people of a certain sign (or signs, if you want to get technical with all the aspects of moon, ascendant and such) didn’t go as well as I expected. I did my own “math” and came up wrong; or, at least, the relationships ended and left me longing.

From my understanding of astrology, it’s so complex that even avid astrologers are continually analyzing charts to process details; it’s fed by information. Provided little information, the result is quite vague and likely to be inaccurate. Provided more information and plenty of time to consider variables, and you may get a more accurate prediction…but a precise result?

[If you look at the angle of this or the arrangement of those, you might figure out what went wrong. But, what if you don’t see all the angles? What if you assess the situation with only four variables when you could have used seven? Or, what if there is no possible human ability to process the situation?]

Like objects in space, each of us generates a sort of gravitational frequency or vibration. This frequency is affected by thought and emotion in a seemingly chaotic manner. There are thoughts and emotions that we generate and alter daily and others that have existed for some time which do not change easily. The former you might refer to as impulses. You feel like spoiling yourself today until someone you meet upsets your selfish, giddy mood. The latter are more like morals or personal limitations. No matter what Roger says to Bridget, she is not going to start smoking just to satisfy some whim of his. But, with progressive or traumatic influence, Bridget could still be driven to take up smoking or some equally addictive and potentially harmful habit.

Our impulses cause minor shifts in our harmonic resonance and can steer us away from what we desire in terms of long-term happiness. But, what may be defined as core values remain a more consistent, filtering force, rejecting whatever is deemed offensive or negative. And, even beyond that hard clay, which can still be shaped by impacts upon our lives, traumas and epiphanies, there are generators at work, creating frequencies that are uniquely our own. These generators are like fate, beyond our control. We can put all our energy into steering ourselves toward or away from someone or something, but, if it is already determined that we attract or repel that someone or something, our harmonic resonance will decide the outcome.

Positive result examples:

# A man and woman meet as kids, develop a sort of friendship, become separated by school and/or careers and yet manage to reconnect, decades later, and marry.

# Two other people become good young friends but become separated when one decides to marry someone else. After some time, the two old friends reunite and rediscover a spark which leads to the end of one marriage and the ceremony of another.

# Two people, seemingly trapped in an unfortunate situation caused by hazardous weather, discover a bond which blows their minds and leads to a lasting, loving relationship.

# A boy and girl meet in fifth grade, are quickly deemed “a couple” and remain together through their remaining school years and adulthood.

# A seemingly unqualified job applicant has an inexplicably positive effect upon the person hiring new employees. The applicant, despite logical reason to be rejected, gets the job. When asked by their boss, the HR person says they just had a really good feeling about the applicant. [And, a number of other applicants walk away wondering what they did wrong.]

Negative result examples:

# A man and woman get married (for whatever reason) and soon find themselves at odds with each other. Because they are loyal to their religions and under the scrutiny of family, they refuse to divorce/separate, even though there is no love in the relationship. They quarrel more than they enjoy time together. Every year, they just keep grinding against each other and enduring a cold, miserable existence.

# A boy, looking to make friends at school, is too shy to approach the kids he views as favorable. Instead, another boy, who is just as small, lanky and awkward as him, approaches and acts as if friendship is certain. But, the first boy quickly discovers a negative feeling in his gut from the visitor’s presence. Despite the former’s effort to elude the latter, the pestering presence remains for more years than the average human should have to endure.

# A girl, deemed pretty and inexplicably “popular,” draws a shallow circle of supporters, who quickly adapt their appearance and behavior to match their “master.” Another girl, who wishes to join the circle, is not given any satisfactory reason why she cannot and is repeatedly heckled until she develops a harmful habit. The “outsider” either tries to fit in (and still gets rejected) or does not change (and cannot understand why being herself isn’t adequate for being part of the group).

# A highly qualified person engages in a job interview with an exquisitely written resume. All conventional signs point to a guaranteed job offer. But, the HR person can’t shake an unpleasant feeling they have about the applicant; the latter walks away discouraged and confused.

Some say putting a smile on your face can improve what comes next. You’ll attract more friendly faces and willing subjects with that expression. You’ll ace the job interview if you add a firm handshake (and dress appropriately…and put a bunch of profit-inspiring numbers in your resume). But, what if you cannot put that smile upon your face because your mood is too “heavy?” What if you are capable of smiling but still do not reach a positive result? Was it something you ate? Your breath? Body odor?

It is possible odor–not necessarily an odor you can compare to laundry–plays a part in this resonant chemistry. I do think pheramones are a key part of harmonic resonance. But, they are like a spark or flame to a gas; they are a reaction of energies. The output stems from vibrations created by our personal generators. The car’s engine puts out heat and vapors, and the odor of those vapors, laced with chemicals from solutions in contact with the engine, elicit an agitated or pleased response from the humans that detect them. [And, with a certain combination of elements, those car emissions could produce hazardous sparks and/or fires.]

Pheramones are the solar flares of our metaphorical hearts. If you shield yourself from the sun’s rays, you may not feel its warmth or suffer any negative side effects, but you can still look out a window (or at a computer monitor, if that’s your way) and see that the sun is shining. Given adequate time and space, harmonic resonance exceeds man-made boundaries. But, regardless of boundaries, it exists.

I do believe studies that claim perfumes and colognes mask our pheramones, our natural essences that should attract favorable companionship. And, it makes more and more sense when you think about those artificial scents like alcoholic beverages. People drink to forget things and relieve tension; but the alteration of mindset then affects the responses they get from the people around them. Yet, some love drunks like sad puppies or stray kittens, while others avoid the pet store with firm conviction, certain they would not make a good care provider for such creatures (or simply unwilling to take up the responsibility).

If putting on perfume and cologne or drinking throws you into the path of people you don’t want to meet, why bother? Don’t you want to attract people that benefit you and who you may benefit in return?

In the deepest of truths, no matter what you do to yourself, harmonic resonance is the guiding force that will ensure a pleasing result is reached…or continually bother you until you get away from a negative, menacing energy. When we truly listen to our “guts,” harmonic resonance will decide who is favorable and who is to be rejected. Unfortunately, this seems to permit a number of misguided experiences to learn right from wrong (for some, anyway).

I’d compare this to planets, moons and other rocks in space orbitting and occasionally colliding. Does Jupiter willingly bring objects into and reject some from its orbit, or does its harmonic resonance exceed the power of will? Maybe Jupiter doesn’t enjoy the company of certain moons but is presently unable to shed them.

There is gravitational force at play, and, despite the predicted orbits and cycles, unexpected abnormalities occur. We may not look far enough ahead in our “calculations” to know when some clash will occur…or we just cannot predict one. But, there is one evident detail; there is a force at work, a force that can cause you to do a surprisingly good deed for some stranger or cause an unfortunate accident.

Our moods and actions (including dousing ourselves with artificial scents) may affect the outcomes of our resonance; we may miss meeting a good match or crash into a dozen bad ones because of what we’ve done to ourselves or how we let ourselves feel/think in the moment. If we foster a bitter or sad mood, we might miss an opportunity to meet a new friend. But, if a harmonic resonance exists and remains steady, we should be able to bypass any mental and emotional barriers to connect with the “right people.” And, given the right circumstances, harmonic resonance will filter out the negative, menacing, peace-depriving forces in our lives and surround us with positive, reassuring ones.

These questions remain for me. Is this harmonic resonance always positive/pleasing in its purpose? Are we “destined” to meet a positive end, even if unpleasant circumstances get in the way? Or, are some of us “fated” to live miserable lives while others prosper? If negative results are not in the nature of harmonic resonance, why do some seem to suffer most if not all of their lives? And, how does this energy impact the length of those lives? What if the life we know is service of some sort of punishment and harmonic resonance is the shackles?

I’d like to think harmonic resonance is a guiding light that can…will lead us to those other beings that satisfy our souls and cast out those who harm us. And, I’d like to believe I will, one day, find another–if not others–who resonate nicely with me and have a positive impact upon the world, the universe, I know. Or, rather, the union will either make a positive note in history books or more simply satisfy whatever longings I have (which cannot be reduced to just “sex” and consumption). I’ve experienced both positive and negative attractions and had mixed experiences…but nothing good that has lasted and satisfied my being; I haven’t “found my place.”

And, breathe.

So, what have I given you? More headaches or a refreshing perspective?


 

I meant to add another aspect when I first wrote this.

Have you ever encountered someone who is so much like you that others think you two should be friends/lovers…yet, when you think about that “match,” all you feel is animosity?  Could it be you and the “match” have a similar resonance?  That does not mean you two are compatible, unlike atoms of the same element.  [Are there elements that don’t bond atoms?]

But, what happens if the person you admire favors the “other you” or dislikes both people with the similar resonance?  Have you ever seen someone you like marry someone like you…who isn’t you?  [I’d say those are moments when you wish you didn’t know the truth…didn’t know the outcome.]

13
Dec
19

Venting Colbert Report, 12-13-2019

***

That’s right. It’s called Venting Colbert Report, like the cable-TV show the suit once hosted “in character.” So, set your VCRs to “not stunned” at what I’m about to say; it’s nothing new but needs to be said.

I just want to take a little time to let off some steam about a certain late-night talk-show host who has been the silver-tongued court jester, grilling the current US president ever since the big businessman and his gorgeous (first) daughter (and the rest of the family) stepped into office.

pointout-donaldtrumpandkids_lovelyivanka-2

Colbert may have the best personality and face to show at those hours. But, he’s wasting his breath and making me ill more often than he can make me laugh.

I’m so tired of so many things in this world; my memory isn’t entirely sure…but I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time I’ve written about him/this. I don’t even watch the show regularly, anymore. And yet, there comes a point when you hear and see enough, with family input, to make you want to scream. Rather than scream or throw things, I choose to type out my fury and need to vomit in a more “rational coping” way.

Ehem.

Disclaimer. If you have a beef with the current US president and/or are a die-hard Democrat and/or Colbert fan, do not take anything I have to say as Republican or any negative attitude/force against all that is good. If you do, you might be on the path to becoming a bully or troll…like this guy (who I am about to point at with my steely index finger and try not to make an obnoxious sound). And, some band of hobbits or other mythical folks will come along to smite you.

MEANWHILE!!!…Mr. Stephen J. Tolkien Colberenstein Bearson spins lyrics after lyrics about the big cheese and anyone who crosses paths with the guy, calling everyone names–occasionally funny names–and dancing around the stage like…well…a court jester. He’s so busy doing it, he doesn’t have time to wipe all the seemingly intellectual crap he’s spewing from his Charmin behind. Yep. You may say he has a silver tongue. But, his tongue doth only look silverish because-eth he hast spent countless years polishing it, bent over a writing desk, trying to turn ravens into wood. He has been working with other writers on other shows that try to make other people look amusing and worked his way to the front of the stage. And, unlike his late-night cohorts, who are choking on his exhaust fumes, trying to keep up, he has excelled and fed on applause like a vampire sucks your blood (or raids the ice chest of a hospital). Turn the lights down a little, and you’ll find him curled up in a corner, reading about hobbits and dwarves and ready to cast fake spells at you if you disturb him. The other guys in bad suits sweat frozen burritos and cough up last night’s dinner while Mr. Frank Lloyd Copy-n-Write Webber Grill greases the competition, leaving a flaming oil slick on the race track.

[I’d compare him to the stocky Jimmy…well, the dark-haired one…the one with a Hispanic sidekick…the one who likes to leech onto basketball games for extra air time, because they both excel at calling people names and little else. But, I’d hate for the two to team up and start dishing out wedgies at schools.]

Who was once a refreshingly smooth-talking guy, trying to best the freckled Irishman (who worked his way up from one half of a sinister geek duo to solo string-dancing superstar, Conan O’Brien, who was slighted a better broadcast slot), dazzling the crowd and featuring some nifty special-effects segments about a variety of things, insisting he was not going to be the political menace he was on non-broadcast TV, when he was “in character,” has turned the hypocritical heel and become the Burger King of hashing out politico fries. All he needs is a paper hat and a stained apron.

Colbert has beaten the dead darkhorse, broken the record and made the guy holding the starting pistol point the barrel at his own head. If he’s going to flash that Captain America shield wherever he goes, I cannot be a Captain America fan. I am struggling to be an America fan, already. He’s not helping.

Turning another light on this subject, trying a different angle, there’s a point when funny becomes badgering, when a witty remark becomes, “Hey, basketball head, want me to dribble you all the way home and tell your mommy to call you Wilson?” If you get people to laugh about the foolishness someone has done, good for your fifteen minutes in the spotlight. But, Idina Menzel, man. Let it go! You can’t be those other late-night guys trying the same jokes twice, just in case people don’t watch every night. You can’t expect me to turn off my TV for a month, come back and enjoy more of what I heard last time as if you were a newborn smartmouth waiting to be baptized into geekdom.

[Switching to interview mode…]

But, Mr. Colbert Cheese on Bleh, I know; you probably don’t write all of this stuff, yourself. You…probably have a disorganized team of writers at your side, pitching ideas, feeding you lines. You just read the cards. You’re the figurehead of…well…your own government? Hmm. Who does that sound like?…like a certain orange-faced businessman who looks like he’s in charge but also part of a three-branch government who can handle itself just fine without you turning countless American minds into computer-phone scrolling gelatin-heads who’d rather vote for you than an actual candidate or take your word for a reason to vote or not to vote. Does it matter who we vote for? Are we voting in anticipation of Mr. Late Night putting the winner on the hot seat?

[Now, back to talking-to-someone-else mode…]

Yet, I’ll still say Colbert must have a brain; he doth read a lot of imaginative works. He must have some magic in that old top hat he found. And, when he puts it on his head, he is sure to dance around. [Have you heard that song?] Perhaps, this is all a strategic move. Perhaps, getting the competition to try and follow his dance steps is Colbert’s way of staying on top. He plays the pied-piper flute, gets the other guys to chuckle nervously and sweat buckets; and, soon, he’s the only one still standing.

[And then back to interview mode…]

Bravo, Mr. Showmancer. And, yet, your British spy-apprentice doth have another magic in his pocket, where he keeps one hand to grope himself and cope with the thoughts running through his head when a “hunky” “delicious” male guest is on his show, before he mentions his wife and kids. He would seem to be a true wizard at getting people bigger contracts and other business. He turns the new turd on the street into streaming gold, when he’s not processing pot with his Showtime-Pizza-Place band (including one beautiful bass-guitar player) and partying like Dionysus. [Sadly, his smaller ragged band sounds better than yours, too. Ouch. But…you just keep staying…eh, human.] He has even seduced a lovely blonde songstress I admire into playing cat-and-cat with him.

MEANWHILE!!!…you continue wrenching those eyebrows and trying to figure out what to do with your hands every night. How is a raven like a Conan O’Brien or a running Letterman, sir? I’d ask the raven. But, he’s too busy dancing and picking on the same bloated corpse to answer.

So…I’m going to go, now, and try to wash that tripe right out of my hair, again, try to forget what got me all worked up in the first place…because…you’re not worth it. You’ve spent, what, three years now? hounding this guy and all who cross his path; I’d have a hard time looking at you when–this–is all over and not replaying your previous grilling in my mind. You go so far to tease–no, harass and harangue–the man about what’s in his pants, night after night.

Are you going to be as outspoken with the next president? Are you going to keep the political grill-train going for as long as you stand on stage? Don’t you have more to contribute? Or, are you too much of a geek to talk about it? There’s no king to send you to any number of death-dealing service providers, but that doesn’t mean you should dance and pitch the same crap every day.

Even Tolkien would be turning in his grave, mumbling, “Dude. If I had a plus-five Sword of Mercy, I’d use it to end this madness. Screw your vital roll, sir. You’ve said too much and wasted your turn. I take my ring of power and disappear from this world you’ve sullied.” [Or, that’s just what I imagine he would say if he was a DnD geek.]

Don’t be just another twit doing impersonations of a tweeter.

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You’re a wit, sir. Now, use it, properly.

28
Oct
15

I’m a Yod?

*****

I just latched onto a shooting star that brought a new term into my horizon.  A yod.  Have you heard of such a thing?  I had not until today.  And, it took two dips into one information pool to get a decent grasp–though it still boggles the mind a bit without some visuals/charts I can comprehend–on the concept.

I won’t go into details.  I’ll let you research it yourselves.  But, I am thinking this is what’s been separating me from the world around me all my life.  It’s coded in me.  I am pulled in three directions perpetually.  It just changes flavor of ugliness or difficulty with every stage of my life.  Like ripples in a pond, it echoes and makes itself most known when obstacles stand in my way.

So, as I just told someone, I am thinking of changing my name to Yod, the difficult one.

I truly feel like crying right now…as if my eyes have been reopened.  I feel I should be smart enough to grasp this.  I’ve already read about the challenge my combination of signs presents.  Yet, this new term and explanation winds me with all the freshness of some parent striking a child for doing wrong.

27
Aug
13

What I Look For in a Woman

YOU:

I don’t have a specific type. I have loved all shapes, colors and sizes. However, I do have some general preferences (which may lean toward specifics that are essentially “ideals” to shoot for and not expectations).

AGE:

As long as you’re not a minor or more than…I’d say 14 years my junior or 24 years my senior, you should be okay. [Astrology is important in some cases. Not so much if you are closer in age. Mental/Emotional/Social compatibility is also key.] Personally, I’d prefer it if you were between 8 years younger and 12 years older. One of my fears is dying too soon and leaving my chosen lover to find another man. I don’t like the idea of being a number.

RELIGION/POLITICS:

As long as you’re not an atheist (unless you consider Buddhism atheism)…practicing Wicca/Scientology…or unable to put religious rules aside of love, you should be okay. I don’t otherwise care if you’re Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, etc. Just don’t try to threaten or convert me (or anyone else) by force. As for politics, if you are strict in your political views (most often because a family raises a child this way) and prefer to wave flags than be open to examining both sides, we’re bound to clash.

LOOKS:

Generally, I prefer TALL brunettes with NATURAL dark brown HAIR. [Natural hair is the key word. No dye jobs or hair pieces unless you’re clean shaven for good reason. But, I am not opposed to red, “raven-haired” or lighter blonde women. I just don’t care much for “dirty” or dark blondes.] As for height, anyone 5 ft. 5 in. (165 cm) or taller is okay. But, ideally, I’d like someone in the 5 ft. 8 to 6 ft. range (172 cm plus).
I look at the FACE and upper body mostly. [I don’t stress too much about your lower half or overall shape as long as you are in GOOD HEALTH and able to keep up with me physically. I’ve met some chubby women who can run faster than me. So, that tells you something:P But, do keep up. I walk fast.] I look warm and/or striking EYES with (typically) average EYEBROWS (not to thick or wire thin). I look for a “cute” (slender) NOSE with curled tip, ideally. I like fuller (rather than thinner/broader) LIPS to compliment my own, something I can really kiss with passion and that doesn’t look bad with lipstick (though I prefer you don’t wear it).
This verges into interests, but I like/want a woman who isn’t afraid to wear COSTUMES. She should be comfortable wearing silly and sophisticated HATS and dressing up in character now and then (not every month if that’s what worries you). [I am big on having fun on Halloween…not scaring people or making them sick. No evil/gross monsters.] If you find this childish or improper, look elsewhere for your man.

PERSONALITY:

[This is difficult, going into specifics. In general, consider the details for myself and be sure yours are compatible/manageable. Ideally, you are rather reserved/polite in public while keeping your “wild side” secret until you and I are alone at home (or out somewhere together).]

“The Rules of Mood/Anger Management”:

1) If you are angry, either “go to your corner” (preferably after explaining your exit) or insist we work it out properly…preferably playfully with padded boxing gloves, pillows or other wrestling tools to blow off steam without an excess of physical/emotional injury. 2) Though it is preferred we do not go to bed angry/upset, if you need to or must, let us sleep in separate rooms for the night. There’s no need to share an angry bed and struggle with sleep. 3) Neither partner may refuse to hear the other partner’s side though each may lose self-control in a rant. Both sides must be given adequate time to speak/express. And, any denial of something addressed by the other is open for discussion. Both sides must be or be made aware of their own refusal to see something and/or resort to self-analysis/meditation to come to grips with this. 4) Hitting–though not preferred–is permitted provided no injury is inflicted except in extreme cases (typically self-defense against an abusive spouse…which should not be a case for us). Weapons of any kind (other than words, hands and/or feet) are inappropriate. 5) As my partner, you are free to have your temper/moods. But, you will not be found crying in private when I am available to shoulder your tears or discuss your feelings. Nor will you force me to discuss/express feelings when I am busy with something else at the time. We will agree upon/schedule a meeting of moods if necessary.

Social:

[Preferably…] You do not have a circle of male friends (especially not exes you can’t seem to release). [Nor do I hang out with women I’ve been with intimately without your approval or, preferably, presence.] You don’t have to have many (or any) female friends. But, you and I will be accepting of acquaintances both male and female without sexual tension/history. If either of us has sexual history with someone we visit, it should be discussed upfront early in the relationship. [Personally, I am not comfortable with a woman hanging out with a guy she slept with previously. That puts excessive pressure on my trust.]

Romance/Intimacy/Dating/Relationships:

[See the details I have listed under ME.]

1) You do not encourage/insist upon/engage in oral and/or public sex. 2) You do not set rules for scheduling sex during dates. [IE No sex before the third date. Sex on the fourth date is mandatory.] 3) You do not respect my concerns for casual sex while dating other guys and sleeping with them as you please. [Wouldn’t that seem just a tad cruel/unfair?] 4) You do not compare me to an ex/other date in terms of sexual performance or any other “skill”. [IE My last boyfriend ___ed more with me. You’re not as good at __ing as my ex.] 5) You do not have an ex that shares my name. I do not want to be a bad repeat or second try. 6) Likewise, if you’ve dated other guys with an astrological sign that matches one of mine, try not to bring it up in discussion unless I specifically want to discuss history. 7) You do not keep ex lovers as close friends unless they are other women (you “experimented” with). There will never be a time when you are alone with another man who has had such contact with you. The risk is too high. It goes beyond the natural bounds of trust and veers into “an open relationship”. 8) You do not initiate sex through temptation without ensuring safety precautions have been put in play. If we are having “careless” sex, we had best be prepared for the possible outcomes. [If ya know what I mean.] 9) You do not expect a regular schedule of sex/intimacy. I am not a machine. [Yeah; yeah; I know.] If one of our “systems” runs at a higher speed than the other, we work out other means of dealing with this or do not engage in a sexual relationship, at all.

In regards to money/spending/saving…and this could get touchy/ugly…I will simply say that I prefer a woman who is not materialistic or as likely to collect as me. I have a big enough problem limiting myself when I get carried away. I need to reduce my inventory and keep things simple to make moving/relocating/travel easier. I don’t want or need someone with “a hundred ceramic hippos” competing for storage space or requiring a moving crew. However, if you are have a closet of costumes or are avid reader/bookworm and have a few shelves of books, that’s fine. I might even like to share. One other rule I have about money/spending…DO NOT ever find yourself shopping and telling yourself/someone else, “I better get home quick and sneak this in the house before my man gets home.” If you are sneaking purchases into our space to avoid confrontation, you will be sorely mistaken and feel/hear my wrath. Deception is a no-no.

ASTROLOGY:

[If you don’t know or care to know about it, it might be good/nice to look into it a little.] I have little tolerance for/luck with the following sun/birth signs: Leo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces, Virgo and Gemini. I have good odds with: Sagittarius, Aries, Taurus, Libra and “Krabulus”(the crab). More importantly, look for your moon, rising, Venus and Mars signs. Ideally, you have one of the following in Venus: Aries, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius or Aquarius.
You have one of the following in Mars: Capricorn, “Krabulus”(the crab), Leo or Scorpio.
You are one of the following Chinese astrology years/animals: Dog, Snake, Sheep, Pig, Rabbit, Tiger or Ox.
[Here are some preferred/ideal pairings of the above: Aquarius Ox 1973, Taurus/Gemini Tiger 1974, Taurus/Pisces/Aries Pig 1971, Aquarius Rabbit (Jan. 22-29, 1975), Scorpio/Sagittarius Rabbit (Nov. 10-25, 1975), Sagittarius/Capricorn Snake (Dec. 4-27, 1977), Virgo Snake (Sept. 1-20, 1977), Libra/Scorpio Snake (Oct. 17-Nov. 9, 1977), Scorpio/Sagittarius Sheep (Nov. 4-28, 1979), Virgo/Libra Sheep (Sept. 17-Oct. 10, 1979), Leo Sheep (Aug. 9-20, 1979), Pisces/Aries Sheep (Mar. 4-28, 1979), Libra/Scorpio/Sagittarius Dog (Oct. 2-Dec. 9, 1982), Leo/Virgo Dog (Aug. 14-Sept. 10, 1982), Taurus/Gemini Dog (May 5-30, 1982), Scorpio/Sagittarius Pig (Nov. 9-Dec. 6, 1982), “Krabulus” Pig (June 29-July 9, 1983) and/or Aries Pig (Apr. 6-12, 1983).]

FAMILY:

I do not care if you have good or bad connections to your family. I do not know what the impact of bad relationships with your parents will have on our relationship. But, it would be nice to have a receptive, accepting and welcoming family on one end. I am not usually comfortable with “broken families” with one or more divorces/step-parents in the mix. Otherwise, it’s you and me, m’lady. To infinity and beyond.

If you’ve already been married more than once, I’m probably not going to be a good match. [Once is more than enough of that mistake. And, if you insist upon a “prenup” when you marry, forget it.] If you have kid/s (single parent), you’d best discuss the particulars with me (including how much contact you have with the father). If there are more than one kid and more than one dad, just look the other way.]

Nor do I feel comfortable with SINGLE MOTHERS. There are just too many around, lately. And, I can’t help but be concerned. I do not feel apt to taking on the father role in place of the child’s true father. Nor do I want any contact between the ex and my lover/wife because it will make me feel more like an accessory than an equal. I think it’s best for single parents to come together. But, there aren’t as many single dads as moms.

If you have any pets, be sure your house/apartment isn’t a small zoo. One or two well-behaved cats/dogs/fish/lizards/etc. is fine. No furniture-mauling monsters unless we’re living in bare rooms on a farm.

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

[As long as we have sufficient interests in common, we should be alright. The only interests I may not fully/sufficiently share include: CARS, SPORTS (I occasionally watch and may play a few, but I am not an avid fan/fanatic/follower), POLITICS, POETRY, THE COLOR PINK, THE STOCK MARKET, TECHNOLOGICAL GADGETS/IPHONES/ETC., DOCUMENTARIES/NON-FICTION, REALITY TV, NASCAR and/or COUNTRY/RAP MUSIC (to name a few).

BAD HABITS:

Like me, you can burp, fart, pick at yourself all you like. I won’t likely be concerned unless the timing is “inappropriate”. For the list of things I don’t want in a woman, see PEEVES/DISLIKES.

PERKS:

1) If you wear: glasses, clip-on earrings (an old-fashion alternative to pierced ears), knee socks/leg warmers, sweater/pea coats, little to no makeup (low-maintenance) and/or hair in buns/ponytails.

2) If you have what I call “rabbit teeth (or a slight overbite of the two upper front teeth). [Reference: Kate Beckinsale]
3) If you have a richer (deeper than shrill/high without sounding manly) voice with an Irish/Russian/British accent.
4) Likewise, if you’re Irish, Russian, Middle Eastern (Iranian, Saudi Arabian), Greek, Italian, Spanish, African (black/brown), Native American or Asian (Japanese, Thai or Chinese).
5) If your pet is a pug/Samoyed/border collie dog or Russian blue cat.
6) If you can sing and/or dance well.
7) If you work in movies or are a: nurse/doctor, therapist/psychologist, writer, graphic designer, interior decorator or teacher.

PEEVES/DISLIKES (aspects I do not want to see/find in you):

1) I don’t care for women who wear what I consider an excess of jewelry. I am a jewelry minimalist who likes picking out certain pieces for a woman as gifts (and shopping with her for pieces). I don’t mind a ring or two, a sensible/befitting pendant/necklace and single ear piercings. But, above and beyond that, I lose interest. It’s just more fuss and interference with contact. I DO NOT like facial or belly piercings, especially.
2) Tattoos. I’d prefer no tattoos. But, I have a select tolerance for some.
3) As I already mentioned “low-maintenance”, I prefer a woman who doesn’t take an eternity applying makeup or packing a few dozen vanity supplies everywhere she goes. You can keep stock at your home base for special occasions (as long as they don’t clutter the bathroom counter when I need it:P). But, when traveling, keep it simple. If your skin suffers from the use of makeup, hopefully I won’t nag you about that.
4) “Product-obsessed” women who get roped in by makeup, skin and hair product commercials. If you’re prone to buying these things up at whim, I am sure to lose my patience with your spending habits, eventually.
Included in this list are: spray tans, Botox injections, fake boobs, fake hair/hair extensions/weaves, bleaching cremes/creams,
5) Women who consistently color/bleach their hair (particularly Asian women who insist upon turning their lovely dark brown/black hair a pale, reddish/blond-ish color that just isn’t natural or very appealing to me).
6) Cussing like a sailor. I don’t mind the occasional flash of temper (as I do the same). But, frequent, regular, daily use of cuss/curse words (f**k, sh*t, f**ker, b**ch, etc.) is unacceptable.
7) Likewise, I do not tolerate women (and men) who say things like: “It’s hot as H*** out here!” or “I’m hungry like H*** over here! Sh*t! When do we eat?” Certain words do not belong in everyday chit-chat.
8) An excess use of cleaning products. If you’re going to tote air freshener and hand-sanitizer everywhere you go, there’s a good chance I’ll be annoyed by you.
9) Strict diets (unless ordered by a doctor). Women “afraid to eat” bother me. And, if you prefer one-topping pizzas because you won’t eat mushrooms, onions or peppers on yours, you bore me.

 

Use the CONTACT feature to write me if you either favorably fit this description or have any questions/comments regarding this post.

And, be sure to read the other pages/sections of this category/file.

27
Aug
13

Single and Looking Blogging Male; Just Putting It Out There

WHAT?

For those who may come across this and take interest in knowing the writer, this is both a detailed profile (Me) and list of aspects in women I seek (You). It is but the scraping of the surface. I won’t expose anything so personal that would be unwise to shout to the whole restaurant or nightclub. You may dig deeper by contacting me when you desire it.

For those who look to mock or chide me or see me as a “freak”, save your keystrokes and gossip. It will do your karma good.

————-

ME:

AGE:

I’m not a school boy anymore. Nor am I requiring medication to keep me going. Does that about sum it up? 🙂 Think you have it figured out? You might be surprised. Try studying my About Me page. With “eyes and brains” you might figure it out. Want the specifics? So do I. Contact me if interested in the rest, and we can exchange.

RELIGION:

I believe there is a “God” though I cannot be certain of a name. I take religion seriously though I currently do not attend services/mass regularly. I was raised with very strict morals which I have upheld a long time. But, I don’t speak of it casually/regularly or press it upon others often. I honestly wish for whoever I let into my trust to be mutually accepting of our chosen faith paths and not let religion stand in the way of love. [I’ll go into more detail in the YOU section.]

POLITICS:

I don’t give a rat’s behind about politics other than the necessity for government/order that’s fair to all and not invasive. I do not stand by red or blue. I am not patriotic. I question authority and the media. I want the truth from the person’s face in my presence (not on TV).

LOOKS:

I would describe myself (without the typical exaggerations men would “confidently” display to draw you away from their imperfections) as AVERAGE HEIGHT (under 6 ft., not quite as tall as your “bouncer” ex who could fit you in his t-shirt) and SLIM with strong ATHLETIC legs (I like to hike) and arms. I wear GLASSES for distance (near-sighted) which make me look smarter than I probably am. [You decide for yourself how smart I really am.] Most say my EYES AND LIPS are my best features. [You’ll just have to find out for yourself.] I also have long FINGERS which are adept at massages and artistic pursuits. Some call them “piano fingers”. My Polish-Italian (more “Polish” than Italian simply because my branch lacks any of the culture one would desire) family was not blessed with the finest HAIR. Mine is fairly thin and affected by stress as well as a history of conditions I’ve had to endure. If push comes to shove, I may yet shave my head bald. But, I’d like to keep my head covered. I won’t fake it or inject anything into my scalp.

I typically DRESS CASUAL for COMFORT. I don’t care for dressing up unless it’s for a night of romantic dancing or a dinner party/wedding (which is not usually my cup of tea). Dating advice experts and fashion divas be gone. I don’t date like I am applying for a job. I am home in my sweats, t-shirts and jeans. I don’t care to spend hours in front of a mirror or with a dozen products on the bathroom counter. I am a “get up with the sun and go” kind of guy. If you like the FIREMAN type, I’m your guy (sans the typical fireman build). My work wardrobe may vary. But, if you want to be with me at my best, you’ll like/accept me in athletic apparel or jeans (shorts) and a t-shirt with sneakers. I prefer to dress in NEUTRAL colors (brown/gray/black) with splashes of green, purple and red.

VOICE:

[Now here’s something you don’t see every day.] I would say my voice CHANGES with my MOOD. If I am nervous, it rises. If I am calm or occasionally confident/daring, it lowers. I have two laughs. One is shrill and silly like a Batman villain. It comes most easily. The other is brief, deep and occasionally loud. It is rare to hear this one. Who do I sound like? I couldn’t tell you. Do I have an accent? Sure, if you’re not from my area:) But, it’s not exactly a cultural one.

PERSONALITY:

You may see me as a comedian or clown. You may see me as the sensitive/touchy and quiet genius. Neither of you would be completely right. I am COMPLICATED. Deal with it. I can be chatty one moment and silent the next.

Temperament: I occasionally have a sharp tongue. But, I prefer to think I SPEAK SOFTLY, HONESTLY and with considerable DEPTH of thought. I don’t always think first. But, I also don’t avoid thinking completely before, during or after. I get angry often but not for long. My TEMPER erupts and fades quickly. However, if you cross the same line enough times, it develops a scar of distrust. I don’t pick a fight often. I usually have the fight brought to me and am forced to defend myself. But, if I am not pleased with something I see/hear, I have a tendency to snap. Again, this comes and goes quickly. I have no interest in making scenes or engaging in lengthy battles. And, I never resort to dangerous levels of violence. [Which is partly why I don’t drink or do drugs of any kind.] I am not opposed to hitting someone with my hand or foot. But, I am not inclined to use a weapon except in self-defense. [I don’t own any weapons except my hands, feet and mouth/mind.]

Social: I consider myself RECEPTIVE to others even if I start out BASHFUL/APPREHENSIVE/CAUTIOUS. I need more “ice breakers”. I need someone to often initiate or give me something to start a conversation. I do NOT like talking about myself (though it may appear that way to some here as I try to describe myself sufficiently and effectively). Unless you open the door for me (so to speak), you’ll find me the QUIET one in a corner looking on from afar. I’ll be studying you and those around you, looking…waiting for the “right time” to approach. I won’t be drinking to loosen myself up. I’ll be the SOBER one with a soda, tea, juice or water in his sweaty hand and a red face (unless you keep me up after midnight). If there are too many strangers in the room, I’ll be outside.

I’d rather “fist bump” a total stranger than shake hands. I am not a total “germaphobe”, but I do get a bit OC when disturbed/bothered/scared or don’t know someone well enough. I am less concerned with women and germs than I am men.

Romance/Intimacy/Dating/Relationships: I’ll say it once and then again. I don’t care much for dating rules. I don’t set or follow them unless you discuss them with me first. Don’t expect me to know what’s “cool” or “normal” in your world. I particularly do not like rules about sex on a particular date or women who obsess about sex over everything else. Any mention of the former will put me off almost completely. Not because I demand sex. I most certainly do not expect it or force a woman into such a situation. I don’t discuss sex casually (normally). Nor do I engage in it “socially”. It shouldn’t come before romance, understanding and communication. It is the pinnacle of a connection. Not a sport or hobby.

If you’d like to know my preferences (and this is getting personal): 1) I–under no circumstances–approve of public and oral sex. If you are putting your mouth down there, you are not kissing my lips…ever. I do not need to taste anyone’s reproductive matter or pubic hair. Nor do I care to have the neighbors or some total stranger see us together. 2) I am a man of touch. If I accept you into my trust, I accept your touch. And, I expect you to be the same with me touching you. If you don’t like/want it, don’t let me do it to you. Make your preferences known. I love playing with hair…caressing various body parts…cuddling…pressing chests together…kissing without bending my neck*…interlocking fingers…and hugs of all sorts. 3) I am all for protecting oneself. But, I am not entirely confident in condoms or birth control. I do not like women popping pills or injecting themselves with drugs that might have unpleasant or even harmful side effects. I would rather practice alternative/safe sex to share intimate pleasures than risk harm to anyone’s health or an unwanted pregnancy. 4) Costumes/Role play in good taste are/is approved. I’m not fond of most ridiculously slutty/tacky costumes you get in sizes too small from a cheesy costume shop. You can do wonders with everyday clothes and accessories. I don’t expect to write a play before being intimate. I just like the idea of coming home to/to the bedroom with a character. 5) Setting is key. Candles and flower petals. ‘Love them. Asian paper lanterns are nice, too. Likewise, thunderstorms and running water. Nature sounds are often a nice backdrop alternative to heavy/lyrical music. Being close to nature without bugs or other critters invading our privacy. A private spot on a beach or in the woods would be great. 6) I am not opposed to bisexual women. Nor am I opposed to (though I don’t have any personal experience with) threesomes/foursomes (but that’s the limit) with other women (no other men) provided every participant approves of each other. Now, there may be some speculation in how this works. But, I’ll leave that to private discussion. If a woman I consider my intimate partner has an interest in another woman, I am open to discussing sharing intimacies (but not insisting upon any of this). The only reason I approve of this is because of my understanding of “boredom” or “lacking satisfaction” in a monogamous bedroom. I do not want my partner sleeping with other men. But, she is relatively free to “experiment” with other women without my concern. 7) I don’t like the idea of “friends with benefits” when it’s a woman and a man who are both seeking a serious relationship with partners of the opposite sex. If a “friend” of the woman I am with is a woman, that’s fine. But, no male FWBs. [And, for anyone concerned, I would not expect to be permitted a female FWB that wasn’t included in a more open/triangular relationship.] I have no desire for or interest in secretive affairs. Every interaction should be made known and agreed upon “at the table”.

I try to be FAIR as an EQUAL/PARTNER. If there is something I or you don’t know how to do (better), I want the knowledgeable person to help/teach the less educated. I am not a handyman. I am not an expert on sports, politics, finances or fashion. I don’t cook all that well, yet. I dread paperwork. I don’t mind washing dishes or doing laundry. I will vacuum and dust if it gets out of hand. I want us to work together and communicate openly/honestly.

I like to please a woman. Her pleasure is often my pleasure. I don’t put myself above her (unless I am confident my abilities or efforts outweigh hers). But, if she starts to assert herself like an Amazon warrior/feminist, I will put her in her place. She is my muse if not a “goddess”. I don’t spoil or pamper her often. I am not her personal bodyguard at all times. I can’t stop every bullet. But, I do like to honor and treat her well when she pleases me. I never want her to be unhappy for long. Her mood affects my mood. I grant her private space/time as I require for myself. I want to draw/paint/sculpt her (and hopefully she will reciprocate with her own creative talents). I like to shoulder her tears and make her smile. I like to learn her preferences and try to adapt.

[All of the above–regarding intimacy/romance–I want to see in return. I do not like giving without sufficient receiving. Especially in regards to kissing. A woman who can initiate a kiss with proper timing is a winner. If it feels like I am making all of the effort and/or always initiating, I will begin to isolate myself more.]

Still, I may sometimes sound demanding or mean when I see or hear something I don’t like. I may struggle with compromise. I am a perfectionist by my upbringing.

I can seem a bit tight with my money. I have never felt I had enough to spend carelessly. And, I’ve made more than enough foolish purchases in my lifetime. I am not the type who tips big and spends lavishly on his “date”. If you’re looking for a free trip/meal, look elsewhere. I am not saying I won’t treat when the mood strikes. But, I am not some old-fashion macho man who has to pay for everything and who insists the woman be an obedient homemaker/parent.

Nature: I am a natural THERAPIST/psychologist. I like to ANALYZE and speculate. I might surprise you with some of the things I say out of the blue. I may be a bit PSYCHIC subconsciously. I am a fair DETECTIVE. You might also be surprised how you find yourself telling me more than I care to hear while I remain relatively mum. It comes with the territory (astrology). Thus, if I like you, I’ll gladly shoulder your tears and try to make you feel better. I’ll help you find options for your problems. I’ll point out your faults and your assets. But, I won’t sit still for stories about exes or bad flings for long. I have little experience to share. And, often, such stories just have a negative effect upon me. [I also don’t ever want to hear I have the same name, astrological sign or look of an ex.]

I like pets. I have my preferences. But, I don’t think they are necessary. Like flowers, I prefer to appreciate them in nature than in cages or on leashes. If I could have one grand pet, I’d like a Bengal tiger or giant snake.

I am generally CAUTIOUS and CALCULATING. I tend to get overwhelmed (and preoccupied) easily. I’m not the best at making decisions on the fly. I don’t take many risks. I don’t usually dance in public. I am not much of a party host/guest but could probably put together a layout/decor for one well. But, I have my ADVENTUROUS moments. Having a general confidence in the safety and success of something is key.

I am an EMOTIONAL guy who tries to hide it well. But, honesty compels me to cry and expose my feelings. I am “thin-skinned”. I am not the tough guy who snaps at people expressing their feelings and eats rocks for breakfast. Sometimes my emotions override my PRACTICAL side. Sometimes I flee a scene to avoid an emotional eruption. But, I cannot cry in private/alone well. I prefer to have a shoulder.

All of the above personality traits may likely be adapted/altered with time, patience and sufficient love and support. Like any plant, I (and you) need proper care and the right environment to grow.

FAMILY:

I come from a relatively small branch of the family which has isolated itself sadly from the rest of the clan. Some make relationship choices based upon family behavior. Well, I can tell you I do NOT get along well with my parents and siblings. Think of that what you will. But, after growing up with my family always correcting and picking at me over every little thing, violating my privacy whenever I am not at home and generally expecting me to be their superstar, I have lost my deepest love for them. Now, it’s more of a tolerance that keeps us relatively civil. I was what you might call “sheltered” and on a short leash when it came to friends/romantic interests. My family never had “the talk” and never seems open to discuss such things. Thus, much is left bottled inside until I find someone I trust with my depths.

I once aspired to have as many as two kids of my own. I no longer require/desire this as strongly. If I am so fortunate yet as to find myself ready for such a task/responsibility, I will discuss it with my partner. Otherwise, I am perfectly content to have her as my only family and travel the world together (without worrying about the safety and happiness of children in tow). I would never be able to handle more than two kids, though.

HOBBIES/INTERESTS:

ART [I draw and dabble in all sorts of crafts, but I appreciate most forms/styles. I am a proficient/accurate creative WRITER/editor. But, I stick to fantasy fiction (with pinches of romance/erotica and comedy/humor) and have lost interest in poetry. My “artistic eye” is far better than my own talents. I like to build/assemble things.]
MUSIC [I would like to at least learn guitar, yet. I miss singing (and have my reasons for not). I have a diverse/select interest in: rock, classical/instrumental, cultural, alternative…generally anything but country, gospel/Christian and rap/hip hop.]
MOVIES [Some day I’d still like to make a few movies (with a proper crew/team). But, in terms of viewing, I generally like sci-fi, action, fantasy, romance/romantic comedy, comedy and animated films of various kinds. Probably the only types I have next to no tolerance for are horror and “teenie bopper”/musician films.]
FASHION [I like to think I have an “eye” for this, as well as art in general. I just can’t find many articles of clothing I care to wear with confidence or pleasure. Women have it sooo much easier. And, I tend to enjoy shopping for clothes with women…within a reasonable frame of time and respect for my opinions:) I just might surprise you with piecing an outfit for you together.]
INTERIOR DECORATING [Give me a theme you desire, and I can probably whip something up in a jiffy. This does not mean I keep my own creative spaces looking like any theme you may prefer:) A cluttered mind, as they say…]
MYTHOLOGY [Particularly Greek and Asian.]
ASTROLOGY [It’s not my religion. It’s not evil. It’s not something I discuss every day. But, I do have a keen interest in it. I view it as a way of understanding people. Not a means of predicting the future. For starters, I was born a Sagittarius (technically the recently re-discovered 13th sign, the snake-bearing healer).]
TRAVEL [I have plenty of interest and little of resources/company to go all the places I envision. Unlike those who thoroughly enjoy solo travel, I prefer to have pleasant company.]
HIKING/NATURE [It’s food for my soul to walk among the trees (outside of allergy season).]
DINOSAURS/ANCIENT RUINS/ALIENS [Ever since I started drawing dinosaurs at age 5. I’m kinda like Indiana Jones except I fear bugs more than snakes and couldn’t use a whip properly if I tried. I liked the Star Wars movies for their array of alien characters. The stories were not nearly as interesting.]
SUPERHEROES/COMICS/CARTOONS [I never really played with my toys as a kid. I treasured them. I don’t have a vast collection of comic books, but I like to read some and appreciate the work of a good comic artist immensely.]
VIDEO GAMES [From Atari to modern arcades.]
OTHER GAMES/PUZZLES [Chess, crosswords, jigsaw puzzles, mystery games, Pictionary, musical chairs, charades, scavenger hunts, etc.]
COSTUMES/COSTUME PARTIES [Superheroes, ancient Greece, the Renaissance, feudal Japan, space aliens/astronauts and/or forest creatures are preferred themes.]
BEACH COMBING/ACTIVITIES [Collecting seashells/rocks, playing in the sand, etc. Similarly, I like scavenge hunting in the woods for leaves, feathers, etc.]
MAKING PRESENTS/GIFTS [Get me into an art/craft supply store and watch me go nuts. Seriously. Hold me back. I often make my own greeting/birthday cards.]

TASTE/FOOD:

I am relatively open to various cultures/types of food. I’ll try just about anything. But, I will not likely eat any bugs, intestines, testicles, tongues, brains…basically anything I generally view as gross or questionable. I’ve tried frog legs. I did not like them. I do, however, enjoy most seafood, including: crab legs, lobster, shrimp, clams/oysters properly cooked and calamari. My favorite foods are pepperoni pizza with “the works”, spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, mangoes and chocolate pudding. [I have an interest in chocolate pudding that verges on a fetish.] I presently have no food allergies. I have contemplated becoming a vegetarian. But, since I don’t often or sufficiently cook for myself, it’s hard getting by on simple raw veggie/fruit dishes. With a good cook as a partner, I may yet adapt. Until then, I like my hamburger, lunch meats and pepperoni. I can live without meats on the bone.

BAD HABITS: [Here’s another one you won’t likely see on your typical dating profile and be shocked to learn later. But, let’s be honest.]

I don’t drink (beyond the occasional single martini or glass of wine), smoke or use any drugs to adjust my mood/body. But, I do pick my cuticles when I’m uneasy. I pick my nose and the wax from my ears (though I prefer to do this privately). I sometimes pick at myself in the mirror (which is partly why I don’t care to spend too much time in front of one). I can become a bit obsessive about some things (like conquering video games or washing clothes/dishes/hands). I can get/be a bit lax with hygiene (in part because I am more of a “low-maintenance” guy). I have my reasons.

Want to know more? Do you care more about my job/work, car/transportation and/or one’s house/apartment? What topic/aspect have I missed? Ask. Contact me.




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