You’re watching television? What’s wrong with you?
There has to be something wrong. People without problems don’t watch TV. They have active, working, social lives. They are out there, in that big scary world, living…well, life.
But, you are not. You are watching TV. Or, worse, you are at WordPress reading a post on a “free player’s” blog. Something is definitely wrong with you. Maybe you have AIDS or shingles or some kind of nagging depression that can only be worsened by the side-effects of medication that will keep you up at night with other thoughts than the ones currently troubling you, provided your genitals don’t decompose or turn a different color shortly before you die. Maybe you are due to appear in parent court, expecting someone to slap you with charges for neglect. Maybe you are a helpless drunk who needs a lawyer, a lawyer who cannot get enough of himself until he treats you to images of puppies and kittens. Something is definitely wrong with you. And, if it’s not health-related, then you’re probably just old enough to remember what shows like The Benny Hill Show^^ and Green Acres (shows that probably cost nothing to air because the casts are either dead or on life support) are.
^^I recall my grandmother, who was already at least seventy years old, at the time, enjoying Benny Hill when I was a kid. That’s how old this modern broadcast television is. They could bring back shows that I actually enjoyed as a kid. But, instead, they air shows that made little sense to me then, make little sense to me now and make me feel older than my grandparents, who are now all deceased.
[Try chewing a piece of gum until it loses its flavor, saving it for sixty years and then chewing it, again. That’s what modern television (and, sadly, most of the recent films remaking and milking old franchises just with new heaps of Hemsworth and whatever actress we can grab from the latest satellite-TV craze) has become, worn out ABC gum. Now, I guess, it’s more “hip” to PAY for your canned laughter and wannabe-legendary-actor-injected crap with scripts written on drug trips, when it used to be so, so carefree and fed with ads for all sorts of silly merchandise and food-like products. It’s cool to go see a movie that’s recycled plot infused with faces I “follow” and swoon over, just because. Just look at how many celebrities, with that term becoming more and more loose by definition as the years fly by, are in this silly family-targeted summer film. They are known for doing more unsettling adult films, but now they can show something to their grandkids. I laugh at this cartoon because the main voice actor was in something that was popular, once, and I am totally high…because I am shamed by my health and supposed to be taking one of the drugs advertised during this horrible show.]
Why do I say this?…more than once. Well, if you do dare to watch “free” TV, lately, and not on some “binge” in which you can skip commercials, I’d say 95 to 99 percent of the ads you may be forced to sit through are related to some kind of mental, medical or physical problem. The rest are repeating fast food and pizza ads just to drive you off the cliff of sanity into a food coma. You might as well call the EMTs and tell them to pick up a large soda on the way over to your home.
Television used to sadly be a friend of mine, when I was a kid. Now, it’s just sad. And, when I find myself trying to watch anything on TV, I feel the urge to vomit and claw at my skin, as if television has become the torment of lost souls in some flaming, desolate underworld where people push boulders up slopes to nowhere.
No longer is television what you watch with the family** in a shared room. It’s what you download or look up online to binge to your heart’s content, provided you have the keys to the proper “channel.” No longer can you flip through channels to find something you like. Now, just about every channel has some crap on it, overlapping with other crap. And, the good pickings are slim. Most of what is considered entertainment seems more like forced trends for watercooler discussions. Pretty soon, you’re sucking on a digital feeding tube just to get a tiny buzz and ask the vegetable next to you if they’re getting anything out of their “feed.”
**What is family? Do you know? If you do, you’re not watching TV; you’re in a happier place with people who live in different parts of the world and come together for reunions at tropical resorts. Otherwise, you don’t talk to your family; you hardly know or value them. And, quite likely, no one is bailing you out of trouble unless forced to do so. Most likely, if you’re reading this, you live in a social media bubble; family is a foreign language.
So, if you are able to avoid all of that, you must be living the life and not reading this post of mine. I can only imagine what that is like.
Now, in the time it took you to read what I just wrote, I saved you maybe thirty seconds to three minutes of commercial crapper time. You’re welcome. Enjoy those brain cells.
Writingbolt's Creation 