Posts Tagged ‘restaurant

17
Apr
25

Can We Cut Out the Unnecessary Services and Gratitude That Contribute to Fear?

***

Oh. Let me start by saying…

Thank you for your service.

Who or what am I thanking…and why? No one, at the moment. But, those words get thrown around quite a bit and almost seem expected when in the presence of certain people. Yet, the same could be said for non-human things that perform similar…services. And, as technology changes in certain directions, we may be pressured to say it in those directions instead of human faces.

Think about this.

Military troops perform certain actions we call service, and we’re prodded to thank them for those services. We don’t know exactly what they do or did. But, we’re told it’s for our protection, our safety. Well, God bless and thank those people for keeping us safe…..from what exactly?

Oh. Sure. You can think up some things that you’re not facing yourself. War seems to be the common one. But, I bet if you actually went “on duty” with some of the troops, you’d see things differently. And, you’d know the truth…maybe. [I’m not even sure the troops know the whole truth, and that’s why so many suffer after serving.]

But, you see…we’re thanking people for “services” without any knowledge of what service they perform(ed). [And, you may feel pressured to cough up money.]

Imagine being at a restaurant and just finding a plate of food. Then someone walks by in a “uniform,” and you reach out to say, “Thank you for your service.” You don’t know if that person did anything to prepare that food. You don’t know if they were just in some back room getting freaky with another coworker instead of helping a customer. You know nothing…except that they’re wearing a uniform. [And, maybe they stole that uniform.]

[Don’t even get me started on thieves and murders who misuse uniforms.]

So far, I’ve just scraped the surface of questionable service, just the more common perspective of analyzing the military. [I often find myself questioning the military.] But, what about so many OTHER “services” we are forced to contend with and the fees that go with them? Yes. Now, you’re getting a clue. Right? I’m talking stuff that often comes with paperwork and phone calls. Services you just don’t even give much thought before you comply, only to hear later about bad luck stories which only create more doubt and fear than you already have. You’re an easy target, and so many take advantage of that.

There is SO much talk about “protecting your personal data.”

[Even if you live “off the grid,” surely you hear some of this. You may think you’re smart by staying “offline.” If you can handle every aspect of your modern life without any dealings with one of these pathways that seems risky to personal information, I salute you…and wonder how you do it. There sure seems to be plenty of pressure to get in line and submit information and other things, one way or another.]

But, why should we need to protect our data when we aren’t doing anything intentional to endanger it? And, why should anything we do to protect something cost money? If I shield something with my own body, is that costing me money? And, what exact amount of money is going to guarantee what I want to protect will be spared from destruction or theft? [I don’t think anyone has a good answer.]

Sure; we may need to buy something made by someone else to improve our defenses. Back in “the day,” people would invest in armor, shields, etc. to defend themselves. If you’re roaming the countryside, some vandal might try to assault/rob you, and it’s good to be protected. But, isn’t it better to make those decisions/investments without fear of what MAY happen? If you’ve never had a problem with vandals on your road trips, why stop now to buy something you’ve never needed? And, if you take a hint/warning and make a better path choice, couldn’t you avoid the problem that would otherwise require investing in better protection? Also, if you acquired the proper knowledge/skill, couldn’t you gather your own supplies and construct your own protection?

[Instead, we’re teaching people how to code and cheat everything under and beyond the sun.]

[Insurance companies all over the place will be flailing their arms, right now. How inconvenient it is to have to make wiser decisions when you could let someone else, at cost, manage those issues (and still not adequately resolve all concerns).]

Once you start investing in what COULD happen, you give up control over reality and living in the moment. Are we always supposed to live in fear of the unknown? Don’t therapists (get paid to) curb such fears, telling us not to project what is not actually there?

[And, insurance companies make it their business to get you thinking about them. So, I guess, being afraid of “what if” helps…er, pays someone. Do therapists ever thank insurance companies? I wonder.]

Isn’t this like “growing up” and ceasing to tremble at the thought of what might be lurking in the dark or under the bed?

If you are using personal data to achieve something, why should there be any obstacle course or threats lurking in the shadows? If you go to your refrigerator to get something to eat, do you need to defend yourself from fridge pirates and gobble-ins? [See what I did there?]

Why does it seem like every basic function we want to perform is threatened by something we must then fear…but not fear if we invest in things that “protect us.” We are being steered like cattle into scary situations for no damn reason other than the benefit and profit of the “mongers” who do this crap to us.

And, before I get into more of the little or not-so-little things we contend with, I’ll address the question that’s bound to pop up.

Well, what can we do about all of this?

I wish I had an Einstein-worthy answer that resolved everything. It sure would cure my fears. I really don’t know what can be done to fix the big problem. I just know there seems to be as many people out to cause a problem as there are those who wish to live without one. And, it’s also possible that there are many of us contributing to the problems of others without intent simply because we’ve been coerced to go along with various procedures. Your compliance could be giving other people grief.

My fear wouldn’t be nearly as troubling if I had and saw more people acting with confidence (not exaggerated), being friendly (not flustered or rude) and doing what needs to be done without submitting to those things that I suspect (if not know) are contributing to the problem. Seeing someone do something you just know is going to cause more distress is like living a nightmare. And, my life has been riddled with nightmares. [Sweet dreams? What are those?] If I was with someone who was living life wisely, even if they were working hard at it instead of relying upon all the latest conveniences, I’d probably sign on with them and forget what’s troubling so many. [I wish I could say being a farmer was the solution.]

I will say this. Convenience seems to be a HUGE contributor to the problem. Whenever someone says their service to you or their product/invention is convenient in any way, proceed with caution and do not be swayed by the reduction of “you need to do something to make this work.” I’m sure many of us would rather go without work, without laboring at anything. From the dawn of time, humans have been crafting tools to reduce work and strain on the body. But, we’ve shot past the simple tools that are the bones of physics lessons and gone right into excessive ways to manipulate people. We’re putting the screws and levers to each other instead of that stone block we want to move.

[Yet…the opposite of convenience shouldn’t be torture or any form of manipulation. Just because something isn’t as convenient as it could be doesn’t mean it has to be troubling or abusive to the mind and/or body. We don’t have to feel mistreated or heckled for doing something “the hard way.” You might say this is like doing math on paper next to some jerk with a calculator. They do the math in a fraction of the time and then stick their tongue out at you, saying something unnecessary and cruel while you deal with your equation(s). Can’t we just do the math, use our brains effectively and efficiently, and not be taxed or intimidated?]

Technology that should be making communication and cultural interaction more…er…convenient…has become more intimidating and taxing than it ever should be. And, every aspect of life seems to be getting steered right into the digital unknown and bringing various financially-laced demands (like a masked thief with a gun) with it.

We’re told to protect ourselves, yet we’re getting “held up” by faceless people doing the very thing we’re supposed to avoid.

—-

Hey. You. You’d better protect yourself from ____. Now, hand over five percent of your money so nothing bad like that happens to you.

—-

Insurance. Service fees. Shipping and handling. Fees for things we failed to notice or read (sometimes because forms and policies are written by wordy individuals who get a sick thrill out of making pages exhausting and cryptic). [I often get accused by family for being one of them…but that is not my intent. And, I don’t get a sick thrill out of confusing or vexing anyone.]

There are those services and fees we SHOULD be aware of and consciously repaying…and then there are probably way more that we don’t know and shouldn’t have to face or fear. When you work with someone, face-to-face, and they do something for you, you may feel inclined to repay them somehow…and that’s how it should be. But, to pay someone for something you don’t know they did for you…that’s like a child hustling a parent for money before they do a chore.

—-

Can I get five bucks? I’ll mow the lawn for you. I just need five bucks, now. Why? Just cuz. You know I’m good for it.

—-

That kid could easily just go get a snack or do something he/she shouldn’t be doing with that money. You don’t know…unless you throttle them for more information and wreck the bond you have with that person.

[Now, imagine that “kid” is someone sending you a notice that says you need to pay a certain amount of money to get something you want, including an amount for something you don’t fully understand. They COULD just say you owe one amount…but why stop there when you can vex someone with other fine print and things that magically get people to cough up more money for things they don’t understand? You’re not just paying for the service/object you want…there are other “fees” you need to address which go with getting what you want. This is “convenience” yet not convenient for you but for those who collect the money.]

Insurance companies make their business out of WHAT IF, which is so often the thing therapists and sage individuals continually tell you to avoid. Well, how can we avoid pondering the “what ifs” if we are roped into insurance policies? They say the policies, which require constant supply of money to maintain (and, too often, to get the things we need them to do, which is too often additional money, not the initial/scheduled cost), take care of those “what ifs,” so we don’t have to worry. But, we still worry! And, crap still happens which sometimes doesn’t get resolved so easily by the insurance we fund. [Crappy service. Right?]

[Lawyers advertise their services like vultures waiting for someone to be hit with a financial problem, promising to make resolving the problem easy and “free” (until they win for you). I’m sure there are decent, respectable lawyers who truly want to serve people and improve order. But, there are others who suck up commercial space and time with what I can only imagine is rubbish. Can you imagine driving down a road and seeing some guy in a suit waiting on the side for you to have an accident? As soon as you do, they rush in with a briefcase in hand and papers to fill…for your benefit…right? As if.]

What makes matters more complex is that we have gone past the age of dealing with people face-to-face, rolled right past “snail mail” and fallen into the zero-gravity space of internet business. We’re interacting with others we cannot see, sending all kinds of data across the void, not knowing who may receive or intercept that information along the way. I don’t think there was nearly as much risk of someone raiding a mailbox to mess with others when we only had envelopes and boxes to process our needs. I’m sure there were a number of thieves who did their best to break into mailrooms and vaults where financial papers were stored and addresses could be put to vile use. It’s this latest digital era that’s really opens the doors to the unknown and people seemingly trained to do us harm.

A computer (or similar device), one that requires the internet to reach someone, some business, you need to get what you want (and, lately, sometimes just to function as a sensible computer), has the potential to be very helpful if we know how to operate it. But, instead and more likely, we operate it somewhat blindly and fumble, at times, with what’s supposed to be so easy. And, as so many spend increasing amounts of time with such technology, they (we) seem to be getting…dumber. [It doesn’t take a genius (or idiot) to tell you getting dumber makes you more open to threats and those who would take pleasure in troubling you.]

Again, you may want to avoid this technological hazard. And, if you are able to live completely free of computer usage (and dealing with forms/fees beyond your comprehension), I salute you. But, it seems like an uphill battle to get past and resolve this concern. I don’t have the solution. I just know something needs to be done, and I’ll get to more of the WHY, soon enough (though it should be apparent in what I’ve already been saying).

There are schools (and surely “training programs”) that teach people about all the wondrous things you can do with computers, including the things we should never be doing with computers. [Oh. But, you can get away with it and put it to your advantage…it’s so tempting.] And, with so much being pressed to perform on a computer, whether you’re a user or someone paid to do something with a computer, that technology has become the new playground littered with bullies and peer pressure, so much unnecessary intimidation taxing our minds (and bodies). People are taught how computers can be so convenient and helpful…and then some, who either were born twisted or get twisted by bad decisions, use that knowledge to mess with and rob people.

Remember what I said about you possibly contributing to the problem? You could be part of the problem if you let some offer that brings you money sway you into signing or doing something that ultimately troubles other people (or could even come back to trouble you). There are forms (and policies) you likely fill out that promise “refunds” and other forms of money which you may be working (or laboring) to earn…then get taxed…and somehow get some back, which makes the whole taxing thing just a little confusing.

—-

Hey. You owe me ten bucks. Give it, now. Okay. Now, here’s two bucks back. Why? Call it a consideration. Now, the next time you have twenty bucks, give me ten, and I’ll give you five back. See? I’m saving you money.

—-

WHY is all of the above so important? Well, if it isn’t obvious, when we give up control of our own lives and let these various policies and money-laced procedures lead the way, we cease to exist, we give away our souls and become batteries of some system. [I’ve previously written various pieces on how humans can be batteries.] We might as well be jugs of fuel if we don’t take account of and control of our lives. We’re taught and told things that give our lives meaning and value, yet, at the same time, we are too often de-valued by things that confuse and pressure us to comply.

I could ponder this all day and drive in circles, trying to get a firm grip on the situation. I realize there are elements in play that all mix and, in some way, either respectable or vile, try to make sense of this existence.

Order

It’s a not-so-fancy synonym for peace. When no one is making you feel threatened or uncomfortable, when everyone seems to be getting along, there is order.

There are people who want order (not the kind you place to get something you want) and those who either opt to or are enlisted to produce order. And, in order to achieve that sense of order, actions are taken which, unfortunately, don’t appeal to or make everyone happy. [Why? Why can’t order please everyone? I suppose some could bring up that line: You can’t please everyone. But, wouldn’t true order do just that? And, how does anyone please everyone?]

People talk about “living in balance” or “a balanced life.” But, that balance seems to always be in question. Other species continue to be a subject of concern. What do we do about the insects and wildlife getting in our way?

Economy

Economy is just how people in control (or who take command) and seeking order attempt to establish greater control and/or order. If people pay and trade fairly, they won’t fight or cause other trouble. By the sound of the word, you’d think it was for the benefit of all. By definition, it deals with the distribution of wealth. Well, why does wealth have to come into any equation?

I think “wealth” is part of the problem because it seems to instill thoughts of greed. If you have wealth, if you have control of some source of value (maybe all of the oranges), why part with them? Why share with other beings? What is it about “wealth” that does this to people? If we used a different word, like resources, maybe we’d be more considerate. Resources sounds like something we all should have. Wealth sounds like something one person stashes in a vault for eternity. If you have a wealth of safe drinking water…I imagine plenty of others are dying of thirst. Is that a pleasant thought?…you having all of the safe water, alone? When do we reach a point when we realize there is benefit in sharing resources? [It’s harder to share wealth, I imagine, because then it ceases to be wealth. Things lose perceived monetary value when everyone has them. But, that doesn’t reduce the OTHER value of those items.]

If we say Economy deals with the distribution of RESOURCES (versus wealth), I would say we are far FAR from having an adequate system of properly, fairly sharing. And, what’s extra tragic is how some places are flooded with resources and not necessarily greedy people in control of all of them, while other places are starved for those same resources (while, possibly, being “rich” in other resources).

Distribution is definitely a problem. But, money isn’t solving it. Money just delays people from being helpful when they feel they should get more for their assistance. If you didn’t have to think about money, if so many people weren’t pressing you to make and then give away that money (which still doesn’t guarantee you get all that you need or want), you could focus your eyes on the real resources and maybe consider helping to distribute them.

This is sort of like dealing with a “natural disaster.” You COULD get kind people to lend a hand and help prevent tragedy. But, it would cost money, because people have to step away from their money-managing lives to do something else, something that isn’t paying them. And, it would be risky to help, which goes against the insurance plans and such that people agree to pay. [Why would anyone take a risk if it’s going to cost them more, later? Suddenly, being helpful in a crisis becomes uncomfortable, intolerable, because it comes with a financial threat.] There is probably enough ____ to resolve the crisis, but there is so much added and potentially unnecessary pressure to consider the “cost” before providing or delivering what is needed. When we require money to make the world go around, being helpful becomes less convenient and almost impossible.

Sadly, I don’t think anyone, yet, has a good sense of maintaining an economy. There is too much temptation to take more than is right and cheat the system. If you’re not stealing, you’re the victim of it. That does not sound right, in my mind, for what economy should be. [Personally, bartering has always sounded better than dealing with money.]

When we place a value upon and give people a need to amass money, they turn away from the true purpose of getting what is needed. When people start believing amassing money is important, they seem to do anything they can to get more, which sounds like crime. Yet, it’s not the money that’s doing anything other than intimidating or troubling others. Money itself isn’t feeding you or keeping you alive. It’s just a tool of the economy someone has been trying to use to establish their idea of order. Money could go up in flames, tomorrow, but there will still be natural resources and a need for them. [Money is sort of an illusion standing in the way of equitable sharing of resources.]

Convenience

Some might say this goes back to the Garden of Eden. The “forbidden fruit” was so conveniently placed and held so much “wealth.” Convenience is a deceptive path to an easier life which too often is abused or misused. What is convenient for one will likely be inconvenient for another. Your convenience could upset another person or species. It’s convenient how we can claim land and drive out the native population. It’s just as convenient for insects to invade your home or some other wild animal to threaten your sense of peace and order. In a way, convenience is our human excuse for getting our way. It sounds very comforting…but at the expense of others. Yet, to give up convenience…wouldn’t that make life torture? Or, just labor?

Control

Control is a shade of Order, laced with Convenience. Order itself is not always convenient; you often work to establish Order. But, when you have Control, you can conveniently command Order (but that doesn’t mean you’ll easily get what you want or satisfy what is likely a ceaseless growth of want). Ironically, positive/motivational speakers (and modern “influencers”) are good at provoking you to “take control of your life!” And, rightfully, we should. But, how does one take control without affecting others? Thus, are we taking control of our own lives or tangling the strings of others?

Controlling parents are looked down upon for doing some questionable things to maintain their own sense of Order. Some, if not most, do what they do just to ease their own minds (and, often, dismiss responsibility). Parents can enjoy the things they like to do alone if they can just get their kids to stop making noise and demanding food. [So, why did you become parents?] Some people get infected with the notion that only they know how to do something right…and then whip that into the hides of their children.

People take roles/jobs that come with a certain measure of control. Their job is to help establish order. But, I think, too often, the drive or element of money is what makes decisions instead of a genuine desire to improve the peace of all living things (not just other humans). Even if you take such a job with good intentions, there are countless others in similar positions pressuring you to bend a certain way to get something they or whoever they serve wants.

[Is that sensible Order? Who is really in control of anything? How do we maintain control without upsetting a peaceful sense of order? Or, how can we stop trying to control and co-exist in peace?]

Population

We seem to have little to zero control over the size of any population. If you attempt to establish control, you’re an inhuman monster. But, Population is the driving force behind most if not all of the above. Quantity of living things (as well as the non-living stuff we accumulate) impacts decisions we make. It affects how we hoard or feel free to share resources.

[If you have a sandwich and are with one other person, you might feel kind enough to split that sandwich into two. But, if you have four other people around you, how can you all get enough of the sandwich to feel content?]

Other species go about daily conflicts, battles and wars of their own kind, under our human noses. We neglect to see what is happening as we process our too often financial concerns. But, they’re out there, competing for resources and eating each other. In a way, that’s what we’re avoiding and trying to avoid. Yet, that would seem to be natural order, in some sick, twisted way that only upsets the modern human stomach.

I’m not saying we should live exactly like other (savage) animals/beings, but is it possible even those other species wouldn’t seem so savage if everyone was able to get what they needed?…if communication and distribution was clear and fair?

[Now, we have to take into consideration that some species, no matter how some humans may protest, are meat eaters and/or eat other species to survive. I don’t think it’s possible to steer every species into a “vegan” lifestyle. And, if you did, I am sure, eventually, the plants would get a brain and revolt. And then, what would we have? A discussion for another day! That’s what. None of us decide what species eats what, no matter what you think you can achieve with science. And, if you attempt to mess with nature, you get nasty side effects, anyway.]

Bringing this all back to its initial point, we are being treated like cattle with bottomless wallets. We are living in fear that is not our own. It’s one thing to live your life, encounter something that is naturally a threat, experience fear and deal with it. It’s a whole other thing to have others prod you with their sticks, constantly, and tell you to do something OR ELSE. Those pressures to comply and submit funds you acquire however you get them are only complicating and depleting the very lives they want to milk.

So, there’s a bit of irony for all of you greedy manipulators. You are killing the cows you want to milk forever by injecting them with fear. Yes, fear can make a cow cough up milk…but it won’t always or likely be the best milk. When people feel good about what they are doing, they are more likely to perform better. An athlete afraid of hurting someone or his/her self is not going to perform with confidence and will likely get injured…then think about what that injury will do their financial security, not to mention functioning as a human being.

[Then, if you can handle thinking on yet another level, you take into account how certain people make their business, their means of profit, from managing people’s fears, their woes and concerns. And, as other people become troubled with the need to make money, they look for jobs. Sometimes, those jobs seem only available at businesses making money off of people pressured to pay to avoid the things they are coerced to fear. Wherever there is a job someone is less interested in taking, there is someone in such dire need of a job that they will get steered toward and take it. So, now, you have people subject to fear working for what I can only call “fear mongers.” Either the employees become like their bosses and start injecting others with pressure to cough up money (for their personal obsession to amass money/wealth) or labor away just to get through life, trying to ignore what their jobs are really doing (if they even know). That is a really tragic, messed-up vision of economy.]

Isn’t there a better way to get what you need and not intimidate/confuse others? Fear is merely the weapon of bullies who take sick pleasure in watching others wail and/or suffer. I don’t know what breeds such sick mentality, but it exists. [Some would call it evil.] If you benefit from others getting confused or scared (or hurt), I don’t have any nice words for you. You’re just wrong. Maybe it starts out as a fun prank. But, if you keep at it, you’re a monster, and not the kind people seem to be turning into cute collections.

I don’t have a concrete or satisfying conclusion to this statement. So, I’ll just leave it here for your consideration. Food for thought. Now, help make this world a better place for all. Please.

25
Jan
25

The Waiter Gamble; How Much Attention Do You Give Your Customers to Get a Good Tip

****

I’ve been occasionally discussing and hearing about introverts and extroverts. And, upon hearing something about restaurant service, particularly how introverts seem bothered by waitstaff who ask questions too hastily/often, it hits me. It’s the waitstaff gambling with their customers.

The game is sorting the introverts from the extroverts. If they get it wrong, the tip should suffer. If they get it right, the customer will not only welcome the social interaction but be more willing to give a decent tip. But, the game only pays off with extroverts.

I get it, now. Yet, if it was me, do I want to take that chance? ‘Probably not. I’d like to think there has to be a better way to satisfy the curiosity and both types of customers…because, seriously, I’m with anyone who gets annoyed when the waiter/waitress asks how you’re meal is before you’ve had time to digest any of it. Ask me if I need more drink or anything before I have an empty glass or plate?…you’re crazy to me, and I won’t feel good about tipping.

–For those of you with short attention spans, class dismissed. You can go on your way. But, if you are open to deeper discussion about restaurant/customer service, continue.–

I’m not comfortable with the concept of tipping, regardless, because it feels forced/expected, rather than something to show gratitude for good service. I feel like I’m at gunpoint with a risk of leaving someone homeless if I don’t tip well. But, if you want a really good tip, I require or hope for a few things:

In short order: reliable friendship (even better if you can pass a welcome note), observant courtesy (not a forced act that fails to notice my status) and, when I have the appetite, something chocolate (but not just any chocolate).

1) Establish a friendship with me (so I’ll be happy to come back and/or see you, again, someday).

I know it’s not usually (if ever) recommended for/at a job, but I am too often starved for friendship. So, if you can be someone I can count on when I visit your workplace, I will be more inclined to offer a (good) tip or, maybe, something else that still benefits you (which might be better than money). Word of (my) mouth can work wonders. You might think friendship would remove the desire to tip someone, but that’s not guaranteed. I think, once I feel at ease and realize a tip would be a nice gesture, I’ll give one. A tip shouldn’t be a hoop I jump through. I should feel you deserve it.]

[I guess I need to feel comfortable and relaxed to ease the grip on my wallet. Don’t toy with that feeling or put on an act.]

It’s okay to be uneasy or nervous, but don’t infect me with your anxiety. If you feel unsure about something, it’s better to joke or admit it without using the word “sorry.” [Sorry will raise my eyebrow and put me on edge because now I worry something is wrong with the food or my money.] If you tell me you are nervous, I’ll be more considerate…and maybe ask why.

[If you’re in need of money, for any reason, I am not the sort who responds well. I don’t mean to sound stingy/cheap, but a beggar doesn’t bring out my generosity. When I see someone in need and know I can help, I will hopefully feel compelled (to help). If your toilet is clogged, and we’re friends, I’ll probably go buy a plunger if you don’t already have one. If you’re hungry and I know I can fetch you something, I will. That doesn’t mean I’ll be able to bring food every time to every person who happens to be hungry (unless I’m a waiter with access to that food).]

As your friend, if I notice you are in need of something, I’ll be more inclined to offer money/help. [Doesn’t that make simple sense? ‘Versus putting your hand out and saying, “Give me more/your money.”]

If we can’t be friends, so to speak, at least show good manners (which will be further discussed in my second request). But, understand, if we don’t “gel,” I’m not happy to tip you (if that’s what you’re seeking). As long as you don’t annoy me, I’ll still respect you, though. And, some days, that’s just as good as a tip, to me.

Friendly interaction does not mean we get into heavy conversation…because that means you either have too much free time (not enough customers and a chance the boss will take that out on you) or you’re not letting me eat on my own clock. If you want to talk–and, sometimes, I do, too–be smart and invite or offer a means of contact outside the restaurant.

**Hand me a phone number or email address with your first name, and you’re likely (not assuredly) golden. Personalized notes are usually a treat for me (occasionally creepy). [I like passing notes…though I never got the chance or nerve to do it in school. I can’t say I’ve had much good luck with passing notes, though…no…I cannot.]

It doesn’t mean I’ll respond to everyone who does this…but it’s better than heavy talk while I eat. Talk and eating do not get along. Not to mention, talking while eating means I eat/enjoy less food/drink and thus am less satisfied, in the end.

[A business card isn’t as nice as a hand-written note. And, if the card is offered prematurely or too casually, I won’t approve it (though I am an artist who may approve of a nicely crafted one). I’ll probably hold onto and dispose of it, later. First, you have to be sure I’m happy (not forced) to talk with you, which usually means I feel awkward for being too chatty while eating (and that’s actually a good thing). That’s your window to offer a means of contact.]

[If I am the waiter and talk too much, I can almost guess when a customer will turn against me. I’m already using too many words for this topic. I have to discipline myself…more than I actually do…because it’s too easy for me to slip, sometimes. And, that’s me not being a very social guy…a borderline introvert.]

[When my job is customer service, regardless what the business is, I make it my job to observe and learn from the customer, not enforce or expect based upon company policy. Good customer service is not dictated by one person who is not present in the moment; it’s not a standard you set or advertise. That sort of service is more like a souvenir or swag you come to buy than something that makes you comfortable and content. I enjoy customer service when I can read a customer and satisfy them without being a doormat and, ideally, without wounding my employer/business. If I don’t feel up to being that observant and/or courteous, the least I can do is maintain a respectful distance and let the customer request something of me; be available (but still not a doormat). Any employer who makes me feel pressured to be their doormat can rot in bankruptcy, no matter what you pressure me to say in an interview.]

[In my experience, friendship is better than a tip. But, I have yet to work a job that made me feel dependent upon tips. And, when someone, rarely, offers me a tip, I feel a little uncomfortable. If someone offers me good food (food I like) or something like clothing I would wear, as a “tip,” I’m more inclined to be grateful (if not a little speechless). I once had a customer bring me bakery from his daughter’s shop, and, even though it wasn’t food I particularly liked, it made me feel like a friend. A bonus or extra money for something I charge a fee (ie. a commissioned piece of art I made) is appreciated. But, if I’m not the one charging the fee for my service, if I’m not my own employer, so to speak, I’m unsure how to respond to a tip.]

[However, if I see someone working with me get a tip (and I don’t get one, too), I’m certainly agitated…and that has happened to me. I recommend discreet tipping versus overt tipping unless you have good reason. I’ve had moments, myself, when I felt someone deserved a reward/tip and made a minor public scene to deliver my offering (while casting a leering eye at those who did not deserve the same).]

2) Read the room…or, table, I guess.

This is not required in addition to #1. If you can adequately read the room/table without becoming a friend, I’ll still be inclined to tip you for being so intelligent and courteous. [But, a reliable friend would be nice.]

Reading the room/table shows you are being a conscious and, ideally, courteous server (though assistant would be a better word). That’s what gets tips (when a tip is a bonus for exceptional service). Any other type of behavior is some company enforcing a routine; you might as well be a customary hand towel or mint on a pillow. I don’t tip mints on pillows.

I’d throw in reading me like a book as a good thing. I fantasize about women being able to exhibit this skill (just as I get a little enjoyment when I feel able to read a woman’s thoughts and say something before she can put it into similar words). But, if you read me too well…and I detect that…and you seem to be enjoying yourself more than you’re making me feel comfortable (being so obvious)…I’ll turn on you. And, you won’t get a good tip from me. It’s great if you can figure out what I want or like, but don’t make it look so easy or amusing. Remain modest and polite. Reading someone is enjoyable, but when it’s too easy, someone may get hurt.

A good job of reading someone is knowing when a person is visibly stuffed or satisfied…or not stuffed or not satisfied. There should be visible clues. And, if you don’t get that much, don’t bother asking until the customer has emptied their plate(s).

[If I am sweating at my table or see someone sweating at their table, that is not the cue to get more anything. That means someone is overheated and/or bloated. So, if you ask that person about a refill or add-on, you’re stupid. If you’re going to offer a sweating customer anything, ask if they need water and what temperature they’d prefer. Water helps with digestion. You can’t exactly alter the air conditioning of the place to accommodate every customer, but you can possibly help them become more comfortable with clean, safe water at the right temperature. Maybe a handfan would help some customers, too. But, that isn’t something I expect any restaurant to offer; I’ve never seen a restaurant do that.]

Another suggestion might be finding a different choice of words, something other than “How’s everybody doing?” “How’s everybody doing,” to me, sounds like “How soon will you be done, so we can replace you with someone else.” It makes me feel like I need to get moving. I’m not eating fast enough to please your boss.

You pass by the table…you see what’s eaten or not fully eaten…you make an assessment and then decide if you need to say something. If you want or need to know if someone needs something, ask, “Does anyone need anything?” If someone at one of your tables doesn’t make eye contact, you don’t need to address them. You don’t have to go any further by mentioning an item (unless you’re good at reading the customer and thus can tell they want more). Let the customer fill in the blanks. You already said “anything.”

[A good sign of a customer needing or wanting more of something is when they smile and/or lick their lips after either sampling or finishing something. If you can notice that much, there’s a chance the customer will respond well to asking if they want another/a refill. Better yet, if you can offer one “to go,” the customer will probably–at least, I would–feel better about not only leaving your workplace but coming back to it, another time.]

[For me, personally, a chocolate dessert is almost always a good move unless I’m already bloated and/or sweating from what I ate (and probably need a “doggy bag” to finish at home). So, if you see me coming and offer something chocolate (not the dark or white kind), you’re on the right track. If I have enough room for dessert, I will reach out to the staff before I pay the bill. I don’t need to be asked about dessert…but I also won’t mind if you can tell I’m, at least, still hungry. But, more often, I will go to get something solely as a dessert rather than tack on a dessert to a big meal. Being stuffed doesn’t make me more generous with tips, either. That feels more like someone is inflicting pain on my body for money. And, if I am not visibly happy about my dessert, if I don’t lick my lips and flex my eyebrows while smiling, we both made a mistake…but it doesn’t mean I will tip more while feeling regret.]

[Why does anyone ask before the customer is done with eating/drinking something? I blame “the game” and businesses driven by this odd pressure to engage customers without courtesy. Forced courtesy is not courtesy. Conscious attention to a customer’s needs and/or reactions is. Or, at least, be observant of the table’s status before you engage a customer. A half-finished item is not the time for a refill or add-on, no matter what anyone says. All-you-can-eat pressure helps no one, in the end. I’ve seen enough places file bankruptcy to verify my opinion.]

On the opposite end of the scale, if you wait on my table with either a cold or overly cheerful presence, I’ll be uncomfortable and wary. Overly cheerful staff, people who seem programmed to smile and make everything sound “super,” are an immediate red flag to me. I don’t tolerate phony well. And, I hate the “act.” I don’t like waitstaff doing it, and I don’t like places that enforce it. So, if you don’t get a good tip/response from me, it may not be your fault, alone. It’s just the (way of that) place. I’d rather you be unfriendly and lost in your own head…but that won’t make me want to tip you.

[Phew! That was a long one!]

3) That should do it. Just two rather roomy expectations. Though, the thing about chocolate desserts could be considered a separate third and a perk/gamble. [If the dessert, or any part of what I order, doesn’t satisfy me, you can forget about the tip (even if ordering too much or lacking food/drink is my own fault)…unless your personality is so stellar (in my opinion) that the food doesn’t matter.]

[I saw an interview with Daniel Dae Kim in which he said some part of Korea had buttons at restaurant tables to buzz for service, versus waving your hands in the air or waiting for someone to come to you on their own. I understand the minor introvert comfort in that button. But, being empathetic to the waitstaff, if I was one of them, I wouldn’t exactly want to hear/feel the “buzz,” especially if multiple tables did that. And, to be honest, I’d expect some fools at the wrong time of day to abuse that button, just for a laugh. It might help light which tables need something, but it could also put staff on edge. And, no one needs an edgy waiter or manager. But, maybe a button that just lights up something at each table would be enough for a waiter/manager to notice and investigate. Or, maybe have the accent lamp for each table change the color of its light when a NEED button is pressed.]

14
Nov
16

Circle Cut Silhouette Art Sampler

*****

Here is just a taste of what I’ve been crafting with silhouettes cut with a circle frame.  It has been a meditative process similar to mandala drawing.  I expect to have more pieces to add to this small collection in good time.

ambrosiaandpeponi-greekdining-logo_silhouette-meanderframe-ap-4j

I realize the above is NOT a circle cut.  It is a rare exception that stemmed from the other pieces.  I had a meander frame I wanted to use with my Greek figure.

bijo-asianlibrary-logo_silhouette-quadrant-window-ap-2j

plumpagoda-asiandining-logo_silhouette-coin-ap-2j

plummidori-asian-dining-logo_silhouette-circle-ap-4j

thunderheads-logo_spoofthundercats-bookworm-bun-huggingbooks_circle-cut-silhouette-2j

Cool points to anyone who gets what the above image is emulating.

18
Feb
16

Kudos, McDonald’s, for Thinking Outside the Box

*****

When I was still technically a kid, Happy Meals came in colorful plastic boxes shaped like UFOs and train cars.  You could put stickers on the windows that featured the McD’s cast of characters.  And, when Monopoly season blew into town, you could ask for free pieces at the service counter.

Nowadays, there are no free game pieces to request.   But, Happy Meals are gaining new appeal with their innovative designs…even if the boxes lack something to be desired.  My nephews just got some Transformer toys which are not the best but decent.  But, what makes the package as exciting as the toy is how the toys and boxes are designed to respond to/with “smart phones.”  On the My Little Pony side, you can fold out a stage for the ponies to show themselves off and light it up with your phone’s light feature(s).  On the Transformers side, you get a target to punch out and hit with your toy’s missile.  I kinda like the Pony side better.  But, both are clever uses of an otherwise discarded/recycled box.  Plus, the latest toys have some sort of scan feature that lets you access a game with your phone/mobile device.

That sure is thinking outside the box.  Way to go, McDonald’s.

I should also mention a previous promotion featured a pack of folding valentines and a mini story book.  THAT was an awesome treat to go with a kid’s meal.  Let’s see more of that.  [And, bring back the cool plastic boxes shaped like vehicles.]




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