Have I said this before? The game show Jeopardy is predictable. If you want to guess who wins, every day, check the stats of the players for what I consider the “weirdo factor.” Whoever has the strangest story, name, behavior and/or quirk almost always wins. I only say almost because I don’t watch every day. But, when I do watch, the pattern holds. The only time I am unsure is when all three contestants wear calm, aloof faces and never seem very competitive. Those games are rare, though.
So, now that you know my theory, let’s test your “weirdo vision” or “weird-dar” (weird radar, like “gay-dar” for detecting who is homosexual). I will present you with trios of customized contestants, give you the essentials of their player introductions (what they share about themselves with the host) and then let you decide who is the winner of the group. Answers and explanations will follow at the end of the game (bottom of the page).
Let’s begin.
First up, we have Jean, Al and Chris. [‘Recognize these youngsters?]
Jean Munchlax is a crossword-puzzle machine. She’s a professional game designer, bookworm and freelance fashion designer. She says being an occasional clutz tends to spoil her creations.
Al Squirtle confesses to being an instigator and big fan of pranks. He’s good with a skateboard and knows how to handle a hoola hoop. His interest in older women tends to get him into trouble, but he continues to look for love.
Chris Raticate is an ethics professor who likes to sit outside at night and observe nature. He collects seashells and other natural souvenirs. He claims to be content as a bachelor, after a recent divorce.
Who is the winner? [Write your answer down on a sheet of scrap paper.]
Next, we have Emma, Cherry and Cleo.
Emma Erie is a “hardcore geologist,” casually studying earthquakes and pursuing a 2nd degree in archaeology. She admits to being a big Indiana-Jones fan and owner of a bullwhip.
Cherry Downer is a spirited, dazzling and occasionally charming professional dancer who has done a fair amount of international travel. She favors cities with taverns. She won exactly one spelling bee in her youth, before dancing (and alcoholic beverages) became her passion. Her parents, who she loves but rarely sees, are a bottle of vodka from the 1960s and a former Olympic gymnastics coach.
Cleo Skye is a comic-book collector, conspiracy theorist and budding astronomer who is interested in discovering life on other planets. She believes aliens have already visited Earth and may be responsible for some natural disasters. She maintains a podcast about superheroes and prints various alien designs, her own artwork, on T-shirts.
Who is the winner of this group?
On we go to Group Three…which includes…OH! We have a Daily Double. Look. Chris is back…and in the same position, at the third podium. [Maybe this is a video game, and the limited AI keeps putting the same faces in the same places.] He’s joined by Dr. Light and Woody, who has a rather distinct smile plastered on his face. Now, we don’t know how Chris made it back to the third podium on two different days. Maybe this is a returning champs game. Maybe it’s a game for people who were given a second chance, after being crushed by some brainiac. ‘Many possibilities. I wish I could give you double the points for getting this right. But, I won’t.
Dr. Hai Light is a really nice guy but also a perfectionist when it comes to working in animation. He’s a little edgy because someone keeps trying to steal his creations. He likes cats, children and ghost stories but hates mice.
Woody Comicon is also a really nice guy on camera. He was a journalist in the military, in his youth, producing content for pamphlets about proper hygiene among the troops. He keeps the audience entertained with his witty remarks. He says not very smart but will do his best to surprise everyone “when the chips are down.” He’s a bit chatty. He shares a quick and remotely charming story about how he met his wife, Jean. [I wonder if that’s the same Jean we previously saw….nah. It couldn’t be. And, the guy is not a cyclops; so it can’t be Jean Grey.]
We know about Chris. But, being back a second time, he shares another piece of information, regarding a trip to Germany in which he was mysteriously attacked by a dog dressed as a pilot.
Whooo’s our winner?
Group Four includes three blonde women, which is a bit odd, Alison, Andrea and Liz.
Alison Breeze likes butterflies, riddles, the color red and a wide variety of music. She grew up in a small town but now lives in a big city. She’s a self-proclaimed “die-hard romantic” who recently ended a relationship before taking off to tour Europe, which she says was far more entertaining than her ex-boyfriend.
Andrea Gale is a sports nerd and budding fashion designer who aspires to start her own line of athletic apparel. She speaks in a unique way which is both clumsy and endearing, not to mention surprisingly intelligent.
Liz Storm conveniently works in “the fashion business” and offers to assist Andrea with her aspirations. She is an avid photographer with exceptional skill at taking self-portraits. She seems to know a few things about plants and loves to spend her free time at the beach.
Who’s our weirdo?…er, winner?
This next group (Five) will be particularly challenging because you won’t recognize any of the faces (unless you’ve been in my house, watching me play video games). Don’t they look like the perfect video-game-supplied contestants or NPCs (non-playable characters)?
Burt Baconstock is a recent college graduate and literary major who likes to collect paperclips and study pigeons. He’s having trouble with his roommate and hopes to win enough money to get a place of his own.
Lance Cabbage (pronounced “Cab-AHJH”) has a distinct lisp as he discusses his interest in music. He plays four instruments and aspires to learn a fifth. He grew up watching plenty of television, thus he claims to be well educated in pop culture and general entertainment. He carries a shoulder bag, stitched with the face of Lucille Ball on one side, and says she is his muse.
Thea Tomatos is a huge Taylor Swift fan and loves to visit family in Greece. She reads romantic novels in her spare time, when she’s not studying mold samples. She becomes a bit bashful as she admits to saving all of the teeth she has lost over the years.
Hoo-doggy! We have a trio of oddballs. Don’t we? But, who is the weirdest? Tell me…tell me; do.
In Group Six, we have three photogenic beauties.
Vicki Fishburne feels right at home in Erie, Pennsylvania. She likes being a “woman of mystery” and wearing what she classifies as “period attire.” Thus she loves costume parties and attending comic-book conventions, where she likes to dress up as some of her favorite characters.
Irma O’Neil likes cats (particularly Russian Blues), pepperoni pizza with mushrooms and “soft” music. She has a breathy voice and alternates hands on the podium, adjusting her posture, periodically as she speaks. She doesn’t present herself as very intelligent but uses a few big words.
Pamela Hassleoff recently completed required services for parole (meaning she served some jail time, which explains her attire). She likes to swim and practices martial arts. She doesn’t travel much and spends most of her down time, when she’s not restless but usually in a foul mood, reading.
Phew! Now, there’s a saucy trio. This is not a group you’d likely see on Jeopardy, because the brainy show does not favor the beautiful (Group Four, who are all exceptionally pretty blondes, included). Buuut, who’s the winning weirdo? Can you figure it out?
Group Seven includes a snack mix of somewhat famous and quirky faces.
Amy Einstein is a mousy gal working on a theory for everything, all at once, relatively slowly. She has a strong interest in “computer science,” whatever that means. She’s very shy but careless with her words, letting little shocking comments slip from her delicate lips. She considers herself “a bit of voyeur,” a “people watcher.”
Nick Nucleus is a “man of probability” who likes to predict his own chances of winning from the start. He looks at his competition and says he will try to go easy on them. [The audience laughs politely.] He has no interest in travel and wants to create the “real solution for hair loss.”
June Multiverse, who is a petite comedic actress, likes to dress up as older, balding men and eccentric women who favor cats over people. Yet, she looks gorgeous and has a charming glow. She is naturally amusing but also a little eerie (and “fierce”). She says something intelligent about a recent trip to Germany but seems a little uneasy about Russia when the host mentions his own recent travels.
Wowzers. We have some odd ones, here. Well, one is more intelligent than odd. But any of them could be a winner. Right? But, who moves on as champion weirdo?
Group Eight includes…well, I’d say triplets, if that’s possible. I can’t quite tell these three apart. There’s something similar about them. Amyway, we have…
Amy Showstopper, from Greenwitch, Connecthedots, who is a stand-up citizen involved with an organization bent on trying to make fast food even faster. She is very blunt, speaking carelessly about whatever is asked of her. She doesn’t seem particularly intelligent but is eager to prove her intelligence in this game. She hopes there is a category for sexual terminology and/or innuendos.
Meg Crypt, from Evansville, Ohno, is a big fan of “emo” music, which she writes in her spare time. She favors the color black and has no room in her heart for pets, which she admits don’t last long in her home. She looks particularly uninterested in being here, refusing to stand upright, like her competitors. Someone should wake her up…inside.
Yummi Katz resides in downtown Anniehiam, Northern Caroline, and is obsessed with theater, both movies and stage performances. She doesn’t act, sing or dance, herself, but likes to judge others who do. She once tried to join a musical cast and was rejected, which made her stubbornly bitter toward performers. She insists upon a routine of minimal exercise and a healthy diet, without any of the junk Amy puts in her mouth. She loves lasagna and spaghetti with tomato sauce. When one of the cameras exposes her legs, we can see she is wearing legwarmers under her pants, tucked into her leopard-print shoes.
Hmmmm. I just don’t know. Do you? Which of these three stands out as the biggest oddball and, thus, guaranteed winner?
Group Nine features three lovely ladies, all dressed in black, black, bl–ehem.
Gigi Xenomorph is an avid reader and author of exotic erotica. [Try saying that five times, fast.] People say she looks like Pamela Andthensome, the famous lifeguard. Unfortunately, fans of her weird stories are not generating enough money to satisfy her needs; so she came her to win more (and get out of the house). She likes to cook (in more ways than one) and hates having to clean up after herself. On rare nights, she attends Trivia Night, with a friend, at a local bar, and usually wins.
Sara Moderna-Gilmore is a sales rep for Harley Davidson and lover of Chinese food, which she will wolf down when she’s alone, up late at night and usually in “zombie-mode.” She is interested in having a family with up to three kids, if she can find the right man. She describes her type as the “angry sportsman.” She likes to spend a large portion of her free time playing in a walk-in closet.
Kat Mackenchese is a crafty city woman who likes to weave her own blankets and design custom jewelry. She is happily married to a lovely pet cat and her day job (physical therapist/trainer). When she’s not helping others get back onto their feet, she likes to get off of her feet and relax with a hot candlelight bath.
Wha–? All of these women seem perfectly normal to me. How could any of them be classified as a winning weirdo? Can you pick one to win?
Well, after some time, years, maybe a decade or three, every game show goes through an upgrade. Whoa. Check out the new set. It’s crappier than the first, but the podiums are nicer.
Group Ten brings in more video-game extras.
Sakura Moroboshi is a nurse and practitioner of various mystical healing arts. She doesn’t travel much but learns plenty from her patients. Her uncle taught her the basics of mystical healing, but she is learning more every year by being a “student of the world.” She’d like the world to know ghosts are real and that you might be infected with a troublesome one.
Tara Thunder is a track-and-field coach when she’s not running her own marathons and being the fastest delivery woman on two feet. Her brain works faster than the average person’s; so her family suggested she should try competing on Jeopardy. But, she speaks rather slowly, with a very soothing voice.
Chad Jerkface is a high-school gym teacher (with a gut). He enjoys contact sports and watching UFC (ultimate fighting) when he’s at home. He has a persistent habit of thumbing his nose and cracking a wicked grin while waiting to speak. And, when done speaking, he arches his eyebrows in an oddly sad way.
Who is the winner of this colorful group?
——————
Phew! We’ve been binge-watching a while; haven’t we? Well, if you’re still with the program, you’ve got stamina; that’s for sure. Or, you are in “zombie mode.” Either way, on we go…
DOUBLE JEOPARDYY!!….
Group Eleven!…
Nakia Mosque is a collector of masks and an activist eager to acquire greater freedoms for the women of her native land. She speaks three languages, including Urdu, French and English.
Buzz Handover is the father of a big family, who subtly boasts about his many grandkids. He retired from a career in sales to play a small role in the movie business. He now enjoys collecting tickets from theater customers and traveling with his wife.
Kevin Phase runs a bike shop out of Jersey City. His mother appeared on Jeopardy when she was three-months pregnant with him. So, in a way, this is his second time at the podium.
Who’s it going to be? Step right up and peg your winner.
——————
Group Twelve…
Aisha Triche is a 32 year-old high-school theater coach from Montgullible, Alakazam. She aspires to be a game-show hostess (which earns a gasp from the host of this show and awkward laughter from the audience). She has the appearance of a model (or former model) and keeps a pleasant smile upon her flawless face.
Blythe Tumes is a 55 year-old bio-chemical engineer from Tattlelassie, Florider. She likes to ski and go sky diving in her free time. She speaks without any emotion. And, if she blinks, you don’t see her do it. She looks like a spokeswoman for some German bakery-product company, without her apron and flour-dusted face.
Sam (pronounced “Sahm”) Tehran is 35, lives in Vandicamps, Canaduh and works in computer sales. He recently married his gorgeous wife and is expecting a son. He saw Slumdog Millionaire and thought he could be a big game-show winner, too. So, here he is, ready to play. His hair is remarkably thick and dark, like his eyebrows. He seems a little edgy, like someone who needs to be in charge and who expects to get his way.
A rather active and ambitious trio. Right? But, who is the oddball favored to win?
——————
Group 13…
Oh! It’s another…DAILY DOUBLE! No? Then it must be time for a TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS! I see two returning champions and…a stunning new face. I don’t recall her ever winning; so how did she get in here?
You know Alison, who is standing a few inches taller (than she did the last time we saw her) and aiming laser beams at Isabella.
You know Nick, who currently isn’t feeling as statistically-favored as he once did. He’s actually sweating. [Perhaps he’s not feeling well, today.]
Isabella Maylorder, who rivals Alison in height and beauty, is vice-president of a real-estate company headed by her father. She owns two houses, one on Park Place and one on Pennsylvania Avenue. She drives a Mercedes Shoe but would like to buy a BMW Railroad with her prize money. Her one distinct quirk might be a robotic way of speaking.
Interesting. Well, someone’s gotta win. Who’s it going to be? Write down your answer before the theme music stops.
——————
Group 14…is cancelled!
It appears we have a case of identity fraud…or cloning. Whatever this is, we will sort it out and get back to you for Round 15.
——————
Group 15…
Ooh! We’ve come to some sort of wrinkle in time, where the past and present overlap. Or, this is an older episode?…circa 2001? And, we find ourselves at…Comic-Con?
Zannah Kherabpowder is a self-defense instructor from Amazon, Planet Hollywood. She has a bachelor’s degree in anthropology, a strong interest in psychology and a boyfriend who casually studies astrology. She’s done a fair amount of traveling in her lifetime.
Jen Forthwall is the daughter of a mob hit-and-run and a hazardous blood transfusion. She practices law and breaking certain laws as a strong yet non-conventional feminist. Currently, she’s contending with an entertainment empire which is trying to rewrite her own story with inappropriate racial manipulation. When she desperately needs down time, she plays video games (and other games) with her artistic boyfriend.
Jem Truly is trying to make a name for herself in the music business. Her deceased father headed a record label. Her deceased mother used to sing and play guitar without professional ambitions. She considers herself a social misfit but luckily has a boyfriend who understands and supports her.
Well, two out of three are wearing some kind of exotic make-up or face paint. And, the third is green. [And, this is just a dream trio for me, personally.] That is definitely special. How do we pick a winner in this group? You decide. Be sure to include why she wins.
——————
FINAL JEOPARDY!
This is it, folks (because, honestly, I’m running out of wit and tell-tale signs…and this game is running long); the last trio to test your minds, your brains and your heads. The category is…Observations.
Group Sixteen…
Jess Stargazer
Vicki Peasant
Cleo Stone
I’m not even going to give descriptions! I think something should be obvious.
Place your wagers, players. If you feel confident in your answer, bet “EVERYTHING.” If you are being strategic, bet “SOMETHING.” If you are doubtful, bet “ONE DOLLAR.” Scroll down to the bottom of the post/page to see the results.
==================
ANSWERS
GROUP 1: WINNER: CHRIS
Why? Well, in case you didn’t notice, he’s the only one holding a security blanket. I’d say that’s a bit strange for an ethics professor. Also, when pressed for more information, we learn his divorce was a result of too much time spent out at night looking for a big pumpkin, which is rather odd, too.
Jean is a very cute clutz. Being a crossword champ helps her with word categories but isn’t much help elsewhere. She cannot code a win. And, being clumsy makes her sloppy with the buzzer, allowing Chris to answer most questions, first.
Al is a gambler and a goof-off who takes chances and sits in the red most of the game. He couldn’t care less.
———————
GROUP 2: WINNER: EMMA
Why? How many “normal” people own a bullwhip (or admit to it)? And, if you saw her high-school graduation photo, you’d understand, I think. Her last name is a synonym for weird; that should be obvious.
Cherry is a habitual drinker, which helps her socialize as she travels the world but isn’t much use in this game. She scores well in geography and cultural categories, but two easy categories only get her so far.
Cleo is a very pretty nerd and has some singing talent. But, she cannot compete with the other two women. For some odd reason, her hands keep shaking before she can activate the buzzer. After the show, she is recruited by a secretive government group.
And, anyone who took a fair amount of math and/or science classes should know, from Albert Einstein’s work, that “E” equals “MC” squared. Well, if Emma has one “E” and two “Ms” in her name, I’d say she must be greater than two “Cs.” Right? My math might be off, though.
———————
GROUP 3: WINNER: CHRIS, AGAIN
Why? What didn’t you already understand? He’s the only one with a security blanket…and a teenie-weenie beanie, which he refuses to take off in the rather warm studio space. And, while he may not be the only odd bird in this game, he remains the quickest and smartest.
Woody is too generous and takes too many chances, leaving him in the red and out of Final Jeopardy. He practically gives the game to Chris. He makes a dramatic exit with that smile still stuck on his face, though we catch a glimpse of him frowning as he turns away from the cameras.
Hai gets frustrated by a few mistakes and starts making more. He wishes he could go back and try a few categories, again. But, that’s not how this game works. He eventually realizes this is not his game to win. In Final Jeopardy, he answers with a delightful drawing of a cartoon cat and little girl.
———————
GROUP 4: WINNER: ALISON
Why? Alison Redd stands taller than the other contestants and seems determined to remain that way. She wears exceptionally bright lipstick (while looking otherwise fabulous). Her outfit choice conjures thoughts of McDonald’s Hamburglar. Perhaps she plotted to steal this game from her competitors. She has an odd habit of referring to her category selections as “good choices” and her winnings as “capital.” And, to the keen eye, she has an OCD habit of pressing her buzzer a quick thirteen times, each time she answers a question.
Andrea is very pretty and intelligent but clumsy and slow with the buzzer. When she fails to get a few questions right, dropping her into the red, she gives up. Pretty people rarely win. And, self-conscious players who lose the ambition to try never do. I also don’t think I’ve ever seen a winner interested in or having a job in the fashion industry. But, I don’t watch this show, often. [Or, do I…]
Liz is also very pretty. [Well, so is Alison, to be honest. They all are.] And, she scores well in a few categories. But, she carries herself so well that she cannot appear the least bit out of place. Her appearance is flawless and elegant. She’s not clumsy or awkward, at all. However, she too is not the quickest with the buzzer and cannot compete with Alison’s diverse range of knowledge. And, Alison’s persistent need to stand taller than everyone else eventually agitates Liz. By the end of the game, Liz isn’t looking so pretty, anymore, and the light upon her has dimmed.
———————
GROUP FIVE: WINNER: BERT
This was a tough one. But, Bert wins for collecting paperclips. I mean…who does that? Also, he fails to get along with his roommate, which gives him motivation to bury himself in odd studies. Typically, people with poor relationships (with family, friends and/or love interests) tend to shine in this game, as if they have more time and energy to absorb unusual facts.
This doesn’t exactly work for/apply to myself, though, as I struggle with family ties and have been told I am rather smart…yet know I would not do well at Jeopardy. I just wouldn’t, and it would mess with my head, standing next to some weirdo who dominates. Maybe I need to collect paperclips or study pigeons.
Lance is definitely a bit unusual but not particularly anything. He’s an average player and low risk taker who settles for a modest score at the end, putting him in second place.
Thea may seem strange, saving her teeth, studying mold and obsessively listening to Taylor Swift. Actually, that last bit is rather common, it seems. But, she has a good relationship with family and does a fair amount of traveling, which doesn’t make her particularly smart but does make her a nice, well-rounded individual.
———————
GROUP SIX: WINNER: IRMA
Why? Obviously, because of her behavior at the podium; winners tend to exhibit certain quirks, and one of them is shifting your posture, repeatedly. Likewise, people who remain perfectly still, almost stone-like, tend to win and look very creepy as they do. Also, being very specific with interests, like her favorite type of cats and pizza, tends to stand out. And, you might be surprised how often big words can help win. What you wouldn’t notice until she starts playing is how fast Irma is with the buzzer; her breathy voice flies like a shuriken as she thrusts her fist (and buzzer) forward.
Sure, Vicki may seem strange to some and intelligent, considering she’s costume freak and comic-book nerd. But, her range of interests is limited. And, she seems…er, normal…at the podium. She is rather at ease with herself and doesn’t get agitated when she fails to answer correctly; she merely frowns a little. Typically, winners don’t make many mistakes. But, you cannot judge that aspect from their introductions; you’d have to watch them play the game. The fact that she comes from Erie, Pennsylvania was a red herring; this time, it did not peg her as the winning weirdo. Rather.
And, while Pamela stands out for serving jail time, her extensive reading time is not sufficient to help her in any categories other than Literature and Famous Authors. Sadly, there wasn’t a Martial Arts or Swimming category. [What sent her to jail (you may wonder)? Oh. Well, she used to be a catburglar and spy who got mixed up with sex, drugs and rock’n’roll. She also has stolen a few hearts in her lifetime.]
———————
GROUP SEVEN: WINNER: NICK
What’s the obvious sign? His appearance, that hairline and his slightly odd attire, is enough to activate a red flag. The other contestants may have enough factors to make them both odd and a bit unsettling, but they cannot compete with someone who looks like Nick. This is one point I emphasize; players who look sloppy, deprived of sleep/food and/or uncomfortable at the podium typically win. Now, you know.
Amy is very cute, fairly elegant and slow with the buzzer. She stumbles over her words and keeps looking at her active hand to make sure she pushed the button…while Nick leaps at just about every clue on both boards. Amy eventually becomes so vexed that she starts cursing under her breath (which must be “bleeped”).
June, who is the only contestant to underline her name so “fiercely,” is, again, too pretty to win, even though she doesn’t think of herself that way and dresses as far less attractive characters for whatever reason. Whatever she does at her home or job has no impact on how she appears during this show. Her travels keep her from being a complete closet nerd, thus she is more “jack of all trades” than master of anything. She’s very improvisational but not particularly book smart nor competitive, which is why she cracks jokes and lets Nick take command. [I imagine she and I would get along well in this game.]
However, they all use air quotes, which makes them all a bit odder than average in my book…just kidding.
———————
GROUP EIGHT: WINNER: YUMMI
Why…did you think it was Meg? I suppose because she’s bent over her podium, which is strange. Right? Except, I don’t think anyone is allowed to do that. I DID say to pick the one that STOOD out; right? And, Meg is clearly not standing. She’s “slumping.” [Ha.] If she doesn’t stand up and fit in, she is likely to be removed from the game. At least, I presume that’s what happens?
Yummi wins for not only having the most unique name but also for looking trapped in the 1990s. If your look is dated, you have history; and that’s often useful in this game…with countless historical categories. Trendy people who look wise to current fashion trends don’t usually win.
Amy, who is quite “yummy” herself, sharp and quick as a whip, has a bad habit of throwing out silly answers when she doesn’t know the right ones. This costs her the game.
————————
GROUP NINE: WINNER: GIGI
This one wasn’t too tough. Was it? I mean…she’s an “avid reader” (though she writes erotica) and performs well at those (rare) Trivia Nights…with a “friend.” Now, normally, winners don’t have many if any friends (or, at least, don’t mention them when talking about themselves), but we don’t know the details of this friendship. Gigi’s somewhat mysterious eccentricity proves to be an asset.
Sara may be relationship-challenged, but she also seeks out dangerous athletes, eats massive quantities of Chinese food and plays in her closet. None of those details suggest someone who is well educated, but they do make her seem a bit weird. I’ll give you that.
Kat is simply delightful and at peace with herself, it would seem, though her day job isn’t exactly a relaxing one…which is why she needs the art therapy (of crafting). Her schedule doesn’t allow for much TV time nor studying subjects winners eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She does, however, score well in a few categories, to the amazement of some, but still cannot catch Gigi and fails in Final Jeopardy.
———————–
GROUP TEN: WINNER: CHAD
If it wasn’t obvious, Chad gave himself away by repeatedly touching his face and arching his eyebrows. Also, he’s typically a jerk who charges into battle, and Jeopardy is his Trojan War. Though he is an out-of-shape gym teacher, his exposure to students and other teachers, who are still actively learning and teaching, infuses him with unexpected knowledge.
Sure. Tara thinks quickly and speaks slowly. That’s a bit odd. Some of her answers exceed the time limit. Most sound alien. But, her ability to answer with a question exceeds all other contestants. Being a woman who spends so much time outdoors, embracing nature, she never went to a formal school, so her knowledge is limited to what she picks up when she pauses from running around the world. Also, she’s a generally kind, caring person…which is not the personality of the typical winner, who lacks personality.
Sakura talks with spirits (ghosts) and, possibly, aliens. For some, that’s weird enough. But, people who offer healing services usually don’t win this game. More likely, a winner will be toxic to others and consumed with him or her self.
———————–
GROUP ELEVEN: WINNER: KEVIN
Why not Nakia? She has an uncommon name (at least, for someone in the USA). She’s smart…at least, where languages are concerned. And, I bet some of those masks she collects are creepy. But, she’s an activist for women’s rights. Why she’s even on this show is a bit of a mystery. For reasons that cannot be disclosed to the general public, Nakia is denied the win. I cannot confirm her buzzer was sabotaged.
Buzz is a nice older man enjoying retirement. He’s just grateful for the experience, even if he finishes the game in last place and goes home with nothing but a copy of the Jeopardy home game, which is delivered to his home in box insulated with wood chips. He can share another story with the grandkids.
Kevin was on Jeopardy when he was not even born. How weird is that? He must have absorbed some knowledge from within the womb and then continued to collect various bits of information from all of his time standing, sitting and walking around his bike shop, interacting with a variety of customers, some from other countries. Being smart with his final wager, he survives Final Jeopardy and is as amazed as everyone else (except for Buzz, who is merely happy to be a part of the show) to be the champion (of the day). But, don’t get too excited. Not every champion goes on to collect a six-figure prize. In fact, the next time Kevin appears on the show, a much bigger oddball wipes the floor with him.
———————–
GROUP 12: WINNER: BLYTHE
When in doubt, go with the strangest name. [I apologize to anyone who is named Blythe or who knows more than one. I just don’t operate in those circles.] Someone who doesn’t blink and speaks without emotion definitely raises a red flag. Do you know any women who ski and sky-dive at Blythe’s age? I don’t. And, I wonder what exactly does she “engineer;” maybe some sort of secret eternal-youth formula.
Actually, it’s a close game. “Sahm” almost wins. But, he takes a big gamble in Final Jeopardy and loses. Shortly after the show ends, he phones a friend, his wife’s mother, and says he had a 50/50 chance of winning but lost. His life line says he should bring her daughter home and give up chasing silly dreams.
Aisha did well in a few categories but eventually couldn’t compete with the dynamic daily-double duo. She reluctantly participates in some Bollywood-style dancing during the end credits.
————————-
GROUP THIRTEEN: WINNER: ALISON
Why? Well, she stopped wearing the bright-red lipstick but still dresses in her own unique way and can’t forget all that she has absorbed, the diverse encyclopedia of information which helps her make a riddle out of everything. It’s no surprise that her favorite Batman villains are Catwoman and the Riddler.
When Isabella proves to be a strong rival, Alison gets competitive. [The war paint…er, red lipstick…returns during a commercial break.]
Sure, Nick stands out as the least composed and not very attractive (with his hair out of place), but he doubts himself and is quickly outgunned by the two taller and more competitive women. [And, though he won’t admit it, he’s attracted to both of them, which throws his concentration.]
Actually, only Alison is competitive. Isabella, who merely looks like a rival in Alison’s fierce blue eyes, seems determined to represent her father who wanted to play but could not for some odd legal reasons. He paid someone to get his lovely daughter on the show. He says he’s always been a huge fan of Alex. Isabella exhibits respectable intelligence in a number of categories. But, when it’s time for Final Jeopardy, she makes a dangerous wager and loses everything. Because of a bet she secretly placed with Alison, she is forced to give up the house on Pennsylvania Avenue, though it retains Isabella’s family name on the outside.
————————-
GROUP FOURTEEN: CANCELLED
[The similar images are provided merely for amusement.]
————————-
GROUP FIFTEEN: WINNER: JEM TRULY
Why? Well, take a look at Jem. She’s wearing some sort of revealing red outfit and sporting an outrageous amount of muscle for someone pursuing a musical career. ‘Definitely odd. She also calls herself a social misfit, which likely gives her a few quirks, even though she has a supportive (understanding) boyfriend.
Jen and Zannah both have a fair amount of “book smarts.” And, Jen has gaming experience on her side. But, she’s perpetually preoccupied with her own thoughts and stares at the audience, as if she’s having a private chat with them, when she should be answering. Treating this game as just another game, she takes her participation less seriously and gets Burned.
Zannah, who definitely wins the unusual name contest and has traveled quite a bit, clashes with Jen over certain personal beliefs. The two become very competitive toward the end and risk everything in Final Jeopardy. The topic happens to be Famous Musicians, which conveniently favors Jem and utterly devastates the other two women.
Security is summoned when Zannah and Jen start to physically clash on set. Jem mysteriously disappears with the prize money. Eventually, Zannah is called away on a mission by her “team;” she teleports to a ship cloaked above the studio. Jen is left to clean up the mess and makes a corny joke to no one.
———————-
GROUP SIXTEEN: FINAL JEOPARDY WINNER: CLEO
Why? Her stony gaze. Not only is she the only plain-dressed character in the group, but she also lacks vitality in her face. There is no “sparkle” in her eyes. She’s one of those odd people who can be hypnotized by the cameras and scare viewers just by staring at them. She’s the sort that remains unbelievably still when the announcer talks about them, as if they were a still photo. It’s altogether just eerie.
So, how did you do?
In this final round, if you bet:
EVERYTHING and lost, you are the typical loser. And, this is not your game (to win).
EVERYTHING and got #16 right, you’re lucky…this time and dangerous.
SOMETHING, you’re learning. You’ve got potential. If you bet a particularly complex number, just to reach a certain sum or top your opponent(s) by a dollar, you’re somewhat psychotic and possibly a winner at this game.
A DOLLAR, you’re a coward and can add that dollar to a pot for grocery money. My grocery money. Hand it over. Ha.
Overall, if you correctly picked:
0-3 out of 16, you either do not watch Jeopardy or you’re not very observant.
4-8 out of 16, you tried. And, I appreciate the effort. Try watching Jeopardy with my clues on hand; see if what I say proves true. Then you may learn and feel wiser…about contestants on Jeopardy, which, I guess, isn’t much, anyway, to boost your self-esteem.
9-12 out of 16, you’re okay. Maybe you see things differently. Maybe you notice something I miss. Perhaps, comparing notes, we’d make a decent team of observers.
13-15 out of 16, you’re good. Really good. You just might be worthy of friendship. Your honesty is a good start. You should contact me.
All 16, you are a cheater…somehow. Maybe this game was too easy for you…and you think just like me, thus you can read my mind. If so, I’m curious but also wary. If you cheated, you are wasting your time and mine.
Unfortunately, picking a winner in Jeopardy doesn’t help with any other area of life…except, maybe, observation skills. But, those skills don’t apply to other games, like Wheel of Fortune. The only way to know a winner in that game is to observe player performance. Quirks and other odd factors don’t guarantee a win. You could be the strangest person on the planet and lose to a clean-cut housewife, ex-military agent or wealthy traveler on Wheel of Fortune. Relationship status has no impact, either. You’d be better off applying that mental energy to winning the games, yourself.
But, if you happen to find yourself viewing an episode of Jeopardy, and you realize you have no chance of winning, you just might notice a few things and be able to predict the winner. Thanks for playing.
Writingbolt's Creation 
You must be logged in to post a comment.