Kofeinka > Kofeinka's Quotes

“I'm the hunter," Elena reminded him. "I should go first."
"Of course you may go first. When I am dead.”
― Nalini Singh, Archangel's Legion

“Now how do I access Google?”
Was he serious? “Why do you need Google?”
“When don’t you need Google?”
He was serious. “How about when you have a powerful, multimillion dollar government interface linked to numerous intelligence agencies across the globe right in front of you.”
Dex squinted at him, his lips pursed thoughtfully. “So… is that a no on Google?”
“Are you on medication?”
― Charlie Cochet, Hell & High Water

“Even if there was the slightest probability Cael was right, Ash was so deep in the closet, he was taking Aslan's place in Narnia.”
― Charlie Cochet, Blood & Thunder

“I appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some more moping to do. Tell Taylor I know he’s the one who ate my maple donut, and if he does it again, I’m going to shank him with a spork.”
― Charlie Cochet, Blood & Thunder

“Jesus Christ, MTV would make a mint with a reality TV show about their unit. The relationship drama alone would carry the ratings, forget the actual fieldwork.”
― Charlie Cochet, Rack & Ruin

“Keeler, you have so many issues, you can put the fucking New York Times out of business.”
― Charlie Cochet, Rise & Fall

“Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I don't want it to be attributed to a loss of control on my part. When I throw you out of the window, I want there to be no doubt the act was deliberate.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Are you out of your mind?"
It's not polite to lie to your best friend. "It's a possibility.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Aha! So I’m not crazy.”
“You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a deranged, endearing way.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Rises

“He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps.
"I win.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I lied. I need your help."
"Who are we killing?"
"Do you have a pen?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“You're Mad Rogan!" Leon burst out.
"Yes," Mad Rogan said, his voice calm.
"And you can break cities?"
"Yes."
"And you have all this money and magic?"
"Yes."
Where was Leon going with this?
My cousin blinked. "And you look . . . like that?"
Mad Rogan nodded. "Yes."
Leon's dark eyes went wide. He looked at Mad Rogan, then glanced back at himself. At fifteen, Leon weighed barely a hundred pounds. His arms and legs were like chopsticks.
"There is no justice in the world!" Leon announced.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“It’s never a good thing when the black volhv says “Uh-oh” and then runs for his life.”
― Ilona Andrews, Gunmetal Magic

“At home in my drawer I have this huge d—”
Ash clamped a hand over Cael’s mouth, his face crimson. “Dictionary. A huge dictionary. Cael’s teaching me new words, such as… delitescent. Adjective. This entire conversation should have remained delitescent.”
“I’m a little scared right now,” Dex whispered hoarsely, turning to Sloane. “Hold me.”
― Charlie Cochet, Catch a Tiger by the Tail

“Danny worried his bottom lip. “I’m conflicted.” “I have a gun,” Quinn said, arching an eyebrow at him. Danny put a finger up. “I’m no longer conflicted.”
― Charlie Cochet, Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts

“As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer.

Curran looked at the fan. “What?”
"An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints.”

Curran just stared at him.

Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me.

"Give me that,” I told Curran. “I need to fan myself.”
"No, you don’t.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I'm not it."
"A can-I girl?" Andrea frowned.

I leaned back. "'Can I fetch your food, Your Majesty? Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty? Can I pick your fleas, Your Majesty? Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty? Can I..."

It dawned on me that Raphael was sitting very still. Frozen, like a statue, his gaze fixed on the point above my head. "He's standing behind me, isn't he?"

Andrea nodded slowly.

"Technically it should be 'may I'," Curran said, his voice deeper than I remembered. "Since you're asking for permission."

Why me?

"To answer your question, yes, you may kiss my ass. Normally I prefer maintain my personal space, but you're a Friend of the Pack and your services have proven useful once or twice. I strive to accommodate the wishes of persons friendly to my people. My only question is, would kissing my ass be obeisance, grooming, or foreplay?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”
― Ilona Andrews, Curran

“Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked.
"Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it."
Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.
The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.
He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Kate makes good sausage," Jim said.

Six pairs of eyes stared at me. Thank you, Mr. Wonderful. Just what I needed.

"Oh yeah," Andrea snapped her fingers. "The links? The ones we had the beginning of the month? I didn't know you made those. I thought they were bought. They were so good." Her smile was positively cherubic. Of all the times not to be able to shoot laser beams out of my eyes...

"What do you put into your sausage, Kate?" Raphael wanted to know, giving me a perfectly innocent look.

Werejaguars with big mouths with a pinch of werehyena thrown in. "Venison and rabbit."

"That sounds like some fine sausage," Doolittle said. "Will you share the recipe?"

"Sure."

"I had no idea you were a sausage expert," Curran said with a completely straight face.

Die, die, die, die...

Even Derek cracked a smile. Raphael put his head down on the table and jerked a little.

"Is he choking?" Dali asked, wrinkling her forehead.

"No, he just needs a moment," Curran said. "Young bouda males. Easily excitable.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.”
― Ilona Andrews, On the Edge

“What happened to the alpha-wolf?"
"LEGOs."
"Legos?" It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island?
"He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev."
Barabas sighed dramatically. "Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha."
"I don't need a lecture. I just need the book."
"Much better. Little more growl in the voice?"
"Barabas!"
"And we're there. Congratulations!”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.”
― Ilona Andrews, Gunmetal Magic

“I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat.

“Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.”

An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap.

Awesome.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays