Hassan Rutherford > Hassan's Quotes

“Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.”
― Jon Stewart

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
― Thomas Brackett Reed

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
― Jon Stewart

“A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.”
― Louis Nizer

“You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.”
― Jon Stewart

“Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?”
― Jon Stewart

“He is suffering from delusions of adequacy.”
― Walter Kerr

“If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.”
― Jon Stewart

“Just a little off the top!"- A. Boleyn”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, M.Y.T.H. Inc. in Action

“Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.”
― Jon Stewart

“They never let you live it down. One little mistake!"- Nero”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Little Myth Marker

“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?”
― Anais Nin

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
― George Carlin

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will go to the best tactician."- G. A. Custer”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, Myth Conceptions

“The essence of independence has been to think and act according to standards from within, not without: to follow one's own path, not that of the crowd.”
― Nicholas Tharcher, Rebels & Devils; A Tribute to Christopher S. Hyatt

“Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“People have only as much liberty as they have the intelligence to want and the courage to take.”
― Emma Goldman

“Hegel says that Truth is a great word and the thing is greater still. With Dave we never seemed to get past the word.”
― Iris Murdoch, Under the Net

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
― H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

“History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
― Mark Twain

“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
― Jess C. Scott, The Intern

“Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit.”
― Sam Halpern

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.”
― Cervantes Saavedra

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.”
― George Carlin

“I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to me 'Well, you haven't been there, have you? You haven't seen it for yourself, so my view that it is made of Norwegian Beaver Cheese is equally valid' - then I can't even be bothered to argue. There is such a thing as the burden of proof, and in the case of god, as in the case of the composition of the moon, this has shifted radically. God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don't think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief that there is. I don't think the matter calls for even-handedness at all.”
― Douglas Adams

“I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are. ”
― William Faulkner